Started as stove talk now thread about marriage, etc...

[begreen]

Edit - the $500 a year is $200 for wood, $200 for a sweep, and $100 for fuel to process and maintain tools. I don't count the initial investment in the stove/tools because I would have had to spend that much or more on a furnace as this house didn't come with one. I think that's a reasonable assessment.

It may be time to get a sooteater and sweep your own.

 

[Caw]

It may be time to get a sooteater and sweep your own.

I've considered it but in the end it's just a little extra $ for peace of mind. With my wife, kids, and dog sleeping in the house and relying on me I value having a pro double check my work at the end of the season. I also think it can't hurt with the insurance company if God forbid the worst were to ever happen.

 

[begreen]

Local sweep died last year. I trust my eyes and judgment at this point more than a stranger's.

 

[Caw]

You're considerably more experienced. I can only hope to feel similarly down the road!

 

[weee123]

My girlfriend is always warming her buns by the fire and will beg me to light one when it’s cold out. Especially as my living room always runs colder than the upstairs bedrooms due to being half below grade.

After letting your wife be cold for a while she’ll be asking where’s the fire at. Then again your wife seems fairly similar to my ex wife in stubbornness.

 

[joop]

don't push it let her decide, make it look like it's her idea.cause she's a genius.it's a marathon

 

[MRD1985]

You need to stop using it so much. You're playing right into her hands and giving her ammo. Just lay off the fires for a bit and have them when you agreed to have them...but also don't turn the heat up. Say you want to save money and that you're doing what she asked. Throw a sweatshirt and blanket on if you're cold honey. If you want it warmer there's a solution right here. It's not heating the house it's supplemental to the oil which will remain at 62 to save money.

My wife grew up in a 62 during the day, 58 at night house. 65 was for guests only. It's the damn arctic over there even to this day. So, we lived similarly when we were younger. Then we were a one income house for a quite a while and we kept it up not wanting to pay for oil. When we bought this place I was adamant I was done with that lifestyle. She wasn't sure about the stove and that first year processing 10 cords she thought I was insane but she trust me. I knew I could count on a few of her qualities: her strong work ethic, love of being warm, and love of frugality. She's now a full convert and will light a fire when she's home alone if it's below 68 in here and will work on the 78 degree stove room. We love having no heating bill and the ability to do whatever we want temp wise since the work is already done. Tbh splitting is also a fun family activity.

Now your situation is different. My wife is extremely stubborn when she wants to be but I knew this would work because it checked so many boxes for her. You're up against a tougher challenge. You aren't going to win her over in a week. You need to play the long game.

To this day when I tell people I spend about $500 a year to heat my house in MA their jaw hits the floor. Sure it's a lot of my blood, sweat, and tears but those are free. And it's fun. My neighbor spends more than that per month!

Edit - the $500 a year is $200 for wood, $200 for a sweep, and $100 for fuel to process and maintain tools. I don't count the initial investment in the stove/tools because I would have had to spend that much or more on a furnace as this house didn't come with one. I think that's a reasonable assessment.

As you say, one gets addicted to the heat. And I’m that guy. I’ve had 6 fires in it so far. I was thinking the more she saw it run and it really wasn’t as bad as she thought, then she would get on board with the whole thing. I’m sitting here typing wishing I had a fire going haha chilly this morning.

I think she is stubborn to the point that if she was cold she wouldn’t say a thing and just deal with it to keep up what she says she wants to use this for. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a control thing or if it’s really what she truly wants. She has been a camper her whole life and has fires nearly 24/7 camping, and had a wood stove for 13 years when she was a kid (if you recall older posts). I think she has in her head too that the more we use it the more people are going to start having asthma problems on top of everything else.

I too hate paying for utilities . As long as things stay status quo with the monthly bill (as long it does go up substantially ) then she could care less about paying for it. Which I don’t quite get or agree with but whatever.

 

[MRD1985]

My girlfriend is always warming her buns by the fire and will beg me to light one when it’s cold out. Especially as my living room always runs colder than the upstairs bedrooms due to being half below grade.

After letting your wife be cold for a while she’ll be asking where’s the fire at. Then again your wife seems fairly similar to my ex wife in stubbornness.

I tried suggesting that yesterday (warming her behind) but she said she was ok sitting on the couch at the time.

ex wife/stubborn! Trying to tell me something? Haha

 

[MRD1985]

don't push it let her decide, make it look like it's her idea.cause she's a genius.it's a marathon

My problem is I lack patience. I have struggled with it my whole life. Especially when I can’t fully comprehend her reasoning in this particular instance. I get it’s a marathon, but implementing strategy to get there is my problem

 

[weee123]

I tried suggesting that yesterday (warming her behind) but she said she was ok sitting on the couch at the time.

ex wife/stubborn! Trying to tell me something? Haha

Not to try to get involved as I don’t know the real ins and outs, but you were saying earlier she would threaten divorce over things. That to me is a huge red flag.

There are other worse reasons than her being stubborn as to why she’s an ex-wife.

 

[MRD1985]

Not to try to get involved as I don’t know the real ins and outs, but you were saying earlier she would threaten divorce over things. That to me is a huge red flag.

There are other worse reasons than her being stubborn as to why she’s an ex-wife.

She does…she has used it as leverage over the years. She knows I wont leave, so she can get away with it.

I’m sure there were other reasons about the divorce . Just making a bit of a joke.

 

[Caw]

This is stressful. Man. I know exactly how these conversations go. I truly feel for you and hope for the best. Your wood forum internet buddies have your back! And plenty of ideas! Lol

 

[MRD1985]

This is stressful. Man. I know exactly how these conversations go. I truly feel for you and hope for the best. Your wood forum internet buddies have your back! And plenty of ideas! Lol

Thanks bud. I am envious of how things are for you. Lol. From your wife’s support to all the family project for wood processing. I might have the kids help when they get older, but otherwise I’d be in it alone.

 

[MRD1985]

Guys can probably guess what days I had fires. first day of use was New Year’s Day. Tracks over 24 hr period for the day

 

[bigealta]

Definitely a control thing. The divorce threats confirm that.
As Caw suggests, skip the fires for a while, especially when it's really cold out.
You might be able to light one after she walks out the door for the day, but let that die before she's back.
It's gonna take at least a year to have this soften. Maybe next burn season the fire attitude will shift.
But in the meantime try to ignore that beautiful warm sweet black beauty who just moved in.

 

[Caw]

The data is just so clear. You aren't even using it for heat and seeing huge benefits. Just imagine the savings of you really leaned into it.

I already know the answer but what if you showed her this and asked if you could experiment with it for a week. Put a hard time limit on it. Make sure you kick ass, keep it need, no mess ups. Then compare the data and extrapolate over a season. Get hard savings numbers. See if the family enjoys the comfort. See if any breathing issues pop up.

She could argue the time investment, mess, or medical concerns but even the most illogical, stubborn person out there can't argue with hard savings numbers. And I still think the medical reasons are questionable at best. There's one easy way to find out.

Anyways like I said. I already know the answer but I think that I proposed is quite fair.

 

[MRD1985]

Definitely a control thing. The divorce threats confirm that.
As Caw suggests, skip the fires for a while, especially when it's really cold out.
You might be able to light one after she walks out the door for the day, but let that die before she's back.
It's gonna take at least a year to have this soften. Maybe next burn season the fire attitude will shift.
But in the meantime try to ignore that beautiful warm sweet black beauty who just moved in.

That’s mostly what I’ve been doing, and then asking her if she wanted me to keep it going or let it go out when she gets home around 345. She accused me of being “sneaky” yesterday when she came home, it was almost totally out, barely glowing coals. But then decided to keep it going so threw a few pieces of wood on and then let it go out. Down to coals around 830-9

 

[Caw]

It's gonna take at least a year to have this soften. Maybe next burn season the fire attitude will shift.
But in the meantime try to ignore that beautiful warm sweet black beauty who just moved in.

Yep. That sounds right to me. In the mean time you can hoard as much wood as you can before getting in trouble!

Man that sounds hard doesn't it? I'd just want to leave my bed and go spend time with her. Lol.

 

[MRD1985]

Last couple of days where it’s been pretty cold too. Not even 3 hours of on time over a 24 hr period . Heat holds for a while in big room. Thermostat hasn’t been on until 3 am.

 

[Caw]

She accused me of being “sneaky” yesterday

Yeah she's right. Sneaky f-ing awesome! Warm house, energy savings, and she didn't have to lift a finger. How about them apples.

 

[MRD1985]

The data is just so clear. You aren't even using it for heat and seeing huge benefits. Just imagine the savings of you really leaned into it.

I already know the answer but what if you showed her this and asked if you could experiment with it for a week. Put a hard time limit on it. Make sure you kick ass, keep it need, no mess ups. Then compare the data and extrapolate over a season. Get hard savings numbers. See if the family enjoys the comfort. See if any breathing issues pop up.

She could argue the time investment, mess, or medical concerns but even the most illogical, stubborn person out there can't argue with hard savings numbers. And I still think the medical reasons are questionable at best. There's one easy way to find out.

Anyways like I said. I already know the answer but I think that I proposed is quite fair.

It makes too much sense. As soon as the word “stove” and “heat our house” appear in the same sentence. The conversation would stop dead. I know her too well, and she would say “that’s not what we bought it for, and what you promised you wouldn’t do, end of discussion”. I’d bet anything on those exact words.

I’m fully confident this stove would easily heat our house with little to no supplemental heat. Probably would use 3-4 cords for the season to keep it 68-72 at the rate I’ve been using wood.

 

[MRD1985]

It's gonna take at least a year to have this soften. Maybe next burn season the fire attitude will shift.
But in the meantime try to ignore that beautiful warm sweet black beauty who just moved in.

As strange as it sounds, that’s going to be extremely difficult…

 

[Caw]

I’m fully confident this stove would easily heat our house with little to no supplemental heat. Probably would use 3-4 cords for the season to keep it 68-72 at the rate I’ve been using wood.

This is exactly my life. 1600 sq ft. Supplemental only comes on if it goes below 62 inside which only happens when it's below 10 at night and I go to bed early. It never gets cold here anymore (which sucks I miss winter) so I'm only using like 3 cords a year...iirc last year I used about 2.9 or so. A cold winter would be closer to 4 cords.

I could lower the supplemental heat to 60 or even 58 but then it becomes laborious to get the house back up to temp. I prefer to spend a little bit of $ during cold snaps to start the am from 62 at a minimum. It really only comes into play a handful of nights a year.

 

[Garbanzo62]

One power outage in the winter where there is no heat in the house is all that you need. You might get that with the storm coming our way tonight. When the temp in your house drops below 60 she will be begging you to fire up the stove.

 

[MRD1985]

One power outage in the winter where there is no heat in the house is all that you need. You might get that with the storm coming our way tonight. When the temp in your house drops below 60 she will be begging you to fire up the stove.

Time will tell! Sure is going to be a mess with 3” of rain and lots of win after the snowfall. And I’m working tomorrow into Thursday so should be interesting if we lose power!