Started as stove talk now thread about marriage, etc...

[MRD1985]

This is exactly my life. 1600 sq ft. Supplemental only comes on if it goes below 62 inside which only happens when it's below 10 at night and I go to bed early. It never gets cold here anymore (which sucks I miss winter) so I'm only using like 3 cords a year...iirc last year I used about 2.9 or so. A cold winter would be closer to 4 cords.

I could lower the supplemental heat to 60 or even 58 but then it becomes laborious to get the house back up to temp. I prefer to spend a little bit of $ during cold snaps to start the am from 62 at a minimum. It really only comes into play a handful of nights a year.

Last year it wasn’t as cold this time of year, I feel like the last week or so has been much colder than last year, and the temps in the forecast after this weekend seems to be colder than a year ago also, had a very mild winter last year based on my gas usage (used most in December of ‘22).

Cold winter would be closer to 4 cords more than likely and mild winter probably 3.

 

[MRD1985]

How diabolical would it be to pull us off the budget plan LOL. She has never looked a utility bill so she has no idea how anything works or what anything means. Could be just adding fuel to the fire. 🤔. I could always say was done by computer error haha

 

[Caw]

It's definitely going to be an absolute slop fest outside. The brook next to be is going to have class 5 rapids. My yard has low laying so it'll be soaked. Thankfully the house is on the high point on the lot and we don't get water trouble*** knock on wood. It was so wet this year I couldn't mow my front lawn for 3 months.

 

[bigealta]

It makes too much sense. As soon as the word “stove” and “heat our house” appear in the same sentence. The conversation would stop dead. I know her too well, and she would say “that’s not what we bought it for, and what you promised you wouldn’t do, end of discussion”. I’d bet anything on those exact words.

I’m fully confident this stove would easily heat our house with little to no supplemental heat. Probably would use 3-4 cords for the season to keep it 68-72 at the rate I’ve been using wood.

I feel your pain. I too have a wife that at times No Logic or reasonable thought can make any difference whatsoever.
Just got to wait it out. You know that obviously.
The wall goes up with lightning speeds when trigger words are spoken.
You will never get anything thru at that point. The mind switches to 100% against anything that comes out of your mouth at that point.
Don't needlessly pound your head against that wall.

 

[weee123]

It's definitely going to be an absolute slop fest outside. The brook next to be is going to have class 5 rapids. My yard has low laying so it'll be soaked. Thankfully the house is on the high point on the lot and we don't get water trouble*** knock on wood. It was so wet this year I couldn't mow my front lawn for 3 months.

Do you have any trees planted out in that area? They could help soak up the water there. I too have a low lying area in the front but the mature oaks to the side of that area soak up the water within a day or two. And I’ve had 6” of water in the lowest point.

You might also have clay heavy soil as well.

 

[bigealta]

How diabolical would it be to pull us off the budget plan LOL. She has never looked a utility bill so she has no idea how anything works or what anything means. Could be just adding fuel to the fire. 🤔. I could always say was done by computer error haha

Don't lie, that's not cool. But you could do it in the spring and say they (those dam big companies) are screwing US on this budget thing. I'm gonna take us off it. But if she never looks at it then that's not gonna matter.

She's playing checkers and u got to play chess. Find something you really like about her and focus on that for the next week or 2.

In the mean time maybe the power goes out. And if it does, Ask her "Do you think WE should light a fire?' That gives her some control she wants so badly.

If she say No lets wait then wait and don't argue.

You know if it gets cold enough to freeze the pipes, eventually She will say "You can light a fire if u want".
The colder it gets inside the better it would be.

 

[MRD1985]

Don't lie, that's not cool. But you could do it in the spring and say they (those dam big companies) are screwing US on this budget thing. I'm gonna take us off it. But if she never looks at it then that's not gonna matter.

She's playing checkers and u got to play chess. Find something you really like about her and focus on that for the next week or 2.

In the mean time maybe the power goes out. And if it does, Ask her "Do you think WE should light a fire?' That gives her some control she wants so badly.

If she say No lets wait then wait and don't argue.

You know if it gets cold enough to freeze the pipes, eventually She will say "You can light a fire if u want".
The colder it gets inside the better it would be.

I have been trying to make her feel like she is loved more than usual. Not that it’s totally out of ordinary as I do this anyway, but I’ve been making an extra effort to make sure she doesn’t have to do any cleaning, dishes or cooking unless she absolutely wants to.

She would probably have get one of our portable generators out and try to feed the house to run essentials with that if we lost power, but I could play dumb.

 

[Caw]

Do you have any trees planted out in that area? They could help soak up the water there. I too have a low lying area in the front but the mature oaks to the side of that area soak up the water within a day or two. And I’ve had 6” of water in the lowest point.

You might also have clay heavy soil as well.

I live on an old apple orchard surrounded by big mature trees on 3 sides. One side is also a brook that feeds the town reservoir. My front yard actually used to be a water storage pond way back in the 50s. I have a drainage pond up front that's about 12 x 8 and 2-3 feet deep but it gets overwhelmed with giant storms. Small puddles from elsewhere. The back drains into the brook. So, it's just a naturally wet area there's also dand and clay for sure.

 

[Ashful]

Lots of debate over how to handle a spouse who doesn't appreciate, or at least insists on pretending to not appreciate, a nice warm fire. In my case, just keeping the fire going all the time despite any protest, was the solution. After a few weeks of just always having the house warmer, it became the new norm, and was sorely missed when circumstances eventually had it going out.

But the best course of action is always going to depend on the household, or the people involved. My wife knew from prior experience that I'm going to do what I'm going to do, no matter what she says or thinks about it. So, while she initially resented the stoves and firewood processing, she didn't put a whole lot of effort into vocalizing or demonstrating that resentment. Likewise, after a decade of marriage at that point, I knew she'd come around on it, if I just stuck to my guns. We'd been through similar standoffs, prior to these wood stoves, and predicting the outcome didn't exactly require clairvoyance.

As stated previously, now she's the first one to ask why the stove isn't lit, every time it goes out or the house cools off. I've also caught her telling friends and family she wouldn't want to live in this house without the stoves going 24/7.

It took a few years to get from there to here, so keep your hopes up. With careful management, you'll turn the corner, soon enough.

 

[MRD1985]

Lots of debate over how to handle a spouse who doesn't appreciate, or at least insists on pretending to not appreciate, a nice warm fire. In my case, just keeping the fire going all the time despite any protest, was the solution. After a few weeks of just always having the house warmer, it became the new norm, and was sorely missed when circumstances eventually had it going out.

But the best course of action is always going to depend on the household, or the people involved. My wife knew from prior experience that I'm going to do what I'm going to do, no matter what she says or thinks about it. So, while she initially resented the stoves and firewood processing, she didn't put a whole lot of effort into vocalizing or demonstrating that resentment. Likewise, after a decade of marriage at that point, I knew she'd come around on it, if I just stuck to my guns. We'd been through similar standoffs, prior to these wood stoves, and predicting the outcome didn't exactly require clairvoyance.

As stated previously, now she's the first one to ask why the stove isn't lit, every time it goes out or the house cools off. I've also caught her telling friends and family she wouldn't want to live in this house without the stoves going 24/7.

It took a few years to get from there to here, so keep your hopes up. With careful management, you'll turn the corner, soon enough.

This is the route that I was heading down. Your situation sounds pretty similar to mine. We’ve been married for 12 years this year but together for about 15. She hasn’t complained about it being on too much. She has expressed her discontent a couple of times why I’m having fires during the day when it’s supposed to be a family enjoyment item and not use for “heating”. However, it’s unclear what will happen if I just plow ahead. I don’t know if she’ll hit a breaking point of patience/trust (and eventually lead to resentment) and “kick me out” or accept the fact I’m going to use the stove how I’m using and get used to it.

 

[MRD1985]

Don't lie, that's not cool. But you could do it in the spring and say they (those dam big companies) are screwing US on this budget thing. I'm gonna take us off it. But if she never looks at it then that's not gonna matter.

She's playing checkers and u got to play chess. Find something you really like about her and focus on that for the next week or 2.

In the mean time maybe the power goes out. And if it does, Ask her "Do you think WE should light a fire?' That gives her some control she wants so badly.

If she say No lets wait then wait and don't argue.

You know if it gets cold enough to freeze the pipes, eventually She will say "You can light a fire if u want".
The colder it gets inside the better it would be.

To touch on she never looks at it…she sees how much is deducted from our account each month. But she physically never looks at any kind of bill. So she will see a large increase in cost from winter

 

[MRD1985]

@Caw just for you

 

[bigealta]

Nice rug, looks like a fun place to hang out.

 

[MRD1985]

Nice rug, looks like a fun place to hang out.

Thanks. It can be. Only thing missing is a fire!!

 

[Caw]

Looks cold and lonely. Needs love. But really nice set up! Enjoying the rug holder downers. Looks way better without the surround.

You're going to need a much bigger log rack for when you're using it for primary heat!

 

[MRD1985]

Looks cold and lonely. Needs love. But really nice set up! Enjoying the rug holder downers. Looks way better without the surround.

You're going to need a much bigger log rack for when you're using it for primary heat!

View attachment 322435

Don’t get me started. 😢

The wood in that rack there I can get about 1.5-2 days of burning (2 days would be stretching the burn times to hot coals and stove temp around 350).

I just piled random stuff I had within reach to hold that down in place until it settles LOL.

My wife asked me tonight when I’m going to put the trim back on. I suggested it looked better this way but she says she likes it better with the trim on and wants it back on 🤷🏻‍♂️

 

[Caw]

Ok I'm just gonna come out and say it. She sucks. Sorry. I'm a nice person I promise lol.

 

[Caw]

I just noticed you have the same problem I do with my wood on the opposite side of my door. Your wood is on the right and door opens right. Mine is left/left. If we traded stoves.....🤯

 

[MRD1985]

Ok I'm just gonna come out and say it. She sucks. Sorry. I'm a nice person I promise lol.

View attachment 322436

Nothing I haven’t thought!! Lmao debating whether she has some kind of opinion on things is a good thing or indifferent 🤔

I just noticed you have the same problem I do with my wood on the opposite side of my door. Your wood is on the right and door opens right. Mine is left/left. If we traded stoves.....🤯

i mean I could put on the other side but the coffee table would have to be moved but there’s really no other good place for it the way the living room is set up. But yes, good point!!

 

[Caw]

Yeah I'm locked into my situation too. If I ever replace it I'll opt for a door that opens right if it's an option.

 

[kborndale]

Don’t get me started. 😢

The wood in that rack there I can get about 1.5-2 days of burning (2 days would be stretching the burn times to hot coals and stove temp around 350).

I just piled random stuff I had within reach to hold that down in place until it settles LOL.

My wife asked me tonight when I’m going to put the trim back on. I suggested it looked better this way but she says she likes it better with the trim on and wants it back on 🤷🏻‍♂️

Keeping wood inside probably isn't such a great idea. Keeping wood inside will bring in some bugs and spiders, just another thing your wife won't like. I bring my wood inside one load at a time and still bring some bugs in on occasion. I only bring in more than 1 load when it's going to snow a lot.

 

[Caw]

Keeping wood inside probably isn't such a great idea. Keeping wood inside will bring in some bugs and spiders, just another thing your wife won't like. I bring my wood inside one load at a time and still bring some bugs in on occasion. I only bring in more than 1 load when it's going to snow a lot.

I disagree. Well I think it depends on the person. We bring in a weeks worth of wood at a time in the basement and have 1-2 days worth next to the stove at all times. We don't have any issues with bugs. Maybe a stray spider here or there. They are just extra BTUs. We value going outside less often more than a stray bug.

Also I think wood that's been inside a couple days catches faster. Makes sense. It's warmer and drier.

 

[kborndale]

I disagree. Well I think it depends on the person. We bring in a weeks worth of wood at a time in the basement and have 1-2 days worth next to the stove at all times. We don't have any issues with bugs. Maybe a stray spider here or there. They are just extra BTUs. We value going outside less often more than a stray bug.

Also I think wood that's been inside a couple days catches faster. Makes sense. It's warmer and drier.

His wife is already anti-stove. The occasional spider is just another strike against the stove. My wood catches just the same whether it's been outside in 10 degrees or inside at 70.

 

[Ashful]

His wife is already anti-stove. The occasional spider is just another strike against the stove. My wood catches just the same whether it's been outside in 10 degrees or inside at 70.

I usually agree with most things you say, Caw... but I'm with kborndale on this one. At least around here, moths love to hide under the bark, and often make their way out into the house from wood left indoors more than a few minutes. Having noticed this, whatever I bring in goes either straight into the stove, or straight back outside. Maybe I'm just overly cautious, but it's caution that comes cheap, "outside" is just a few steps away.

Having his wife discover a few random moths in the house, and then later moth holes in her favorite clothes, is an absolute guarantee that stove will never burn again.

 

[MRD1985]

I guess I’ve been fortunate with insects. I have been keeping wood inside like this since we bought the house and used the fire place. I regularly clean the area and it hasn’t been an issue to this point. Moths are certainly not an issue in this area in general.