Started as stove talk now thread about marriage, etc...

[bigealta]

She hasn’t trusted me with money since the day we met so you’re spot on with that. I agree in a perfect world that would be ideal. But some times in a pinch we have had to use it. Most times I buy parts for side jobs that I do and use that card and just pay it off when I get paid.

The only other cards I use I use for interest free promotions and pay it off before interest kicks in. Home Depot, for example.

In my late teens early 20s I was irresponsible with money. Spent it on too many toys. I have gotten much better since those days.

To this day I still have zero access to our accounts other than a debit card. She will not give me any login information. I have no idea how much is even in any of our accounts.

Ha yeah i had a feeling that was the case. Good for you for opening up on all these issues. It's very rare and will help you get thru this for sure. You are the Man! And you should thank her for not letting your family go broke. Seriously you should.

Many Toys, That's how they are in Utah. They have tons of shiny expensive toys (campers, 4x4, motorcycles, ATV's, Tricked out Huge pick up's, etc. ) and Tons of Debt.
Glad to hear you reigning that in. Debt Sucks.

 

[MRD1985]

Ha yeah i had a feeling that was the case. Good for you for opening up on all these issues. It's very rare and will help you get thru this for sure. You are the Man! And you should thank her for not letting your family go broke. Seriously you should.

Many Toys, That's how they are in Utah. They have tons of shiny expensive toys (campers, 4x4, motorcycles, ATV's, Tricked out Huge pick up's, etc. ) and Tons of Debt.
Glad to hear you reining that in. Debt Sucks.

I have long paid off all of that debt. Probably 12 years ago I paid it off. Spent it all on go fast parts for cars and trucks.

Are you saying I have a problem and she’s right keeping all that information from me lmao

 

[BobcatBranch]

I know from experience that trust issues typically come from insecurity. Praying for you, dude.

 

[bigealta]

I have long paid off all of that debt. Probably 12 years ago I paid it off. Spent it all on go fast parts for cars and trucks.

Are you saying I have a problem and she’s right keeping all that information from me lmao

Well yeah i guess, if it meant curbing your enthusiasm , and protecting your family from being broke, but what do i know?
If you really have kicked that habit than well of course you should have access, is overspending like a drug? , where that addiction might flare up?i really don't know as i'm fiscally conservative by nature.

Let me ask you, do you blame her for that? or are you kind of glad she's at least saved something for your family (you hope).

 

[MRD1985]

Well yeah i guess, if it meant curbing your enthusiasm , and protecting your family from being broke, but what do i know?
If you really have kicked that habit than well of course you should have access, is overspending like a drug? , where that addiction might flare up?i really don't know as i'm fiscally conservative by nature.

Let me ask you, do you blame her for that? or are you kind of glad she's at least saved something for your family (you hope).

It’s not an addiction to spending. When I was a kid I didn’t know any better and really wasn’t educated enough how important it was to save money and spend wisely. I smartened up once I got into trouble.

The things I spend money on now are all for our house and family. The few things I buy for myself now are work related (tools) and coffee.

I am thankful she has saved money for us, but I do not think one bit I would spend to the point our family would be broke.

That being said I feel I deserve the right to have access to that information and how much money is where. I contribute to that and I truly don’t know where the money goes or gets transferred to once it goes into checking. Had I had access to that information to actually see for my self how much money is being spent on what I can be more aware of any spending she questions that I do.

Curious what enthusiasm you’re curbing 🤔

 

[webfish]

Closing this thread. Not about stoves anymore. Start a new one in the Inglenook if you want to continue the money, life issues.

 

[MRD1985]

A thank you for @webfish for moving thread to appropriate place and retitling thread

 

[Caw]

I would have made the title more saucy but this works. 😂

 

[bigealta]

Curious what enthusiasm you’re curbing 🤔

Just trying to be a bit light hearted.
So where are we? Stove talk or relationship talk.
Matt's a great guy and everyone here i'm sure wants to see him live a great life in front of a ripping hot wood stove.

 

[MRD1985]

Just trying to be a bit light hearted.
So where are we? Stove talk or relationship talk.
Matt's a great guy and everyone here i'm sure wants to see him live a great life in front of a ripping hot wood stove.

Both topics are welcome here

Amen to that. I would love both. Questionable I can have both in my current position.

 

[begreen]

Both topics are welcome here

Amen to that. I would love both. Questionable I can have both in my current position.

Understood that at times they may not be mutually exclusive, but let's stick to the relationship here. That was the reason for separating this thread.

 

[MRD1985]

Understood that at times they may not be mutually exclusive, but let's stick to the relationship here. That was the reason for separating this thread.

Ok thanks for clarifying.

 

[bigealta]

17K views, .... Dang i think Matt may be due some residuals.

 

[Ashful]

Understood that at times they may not be mutually exclusive, but let's stick to the relationship here. That was the reason for separating this thread.

I don't even know what this thread is about, anymore.

 

[bigealta]

It's a long and winding road. Just got to roll with it.

 

[begreen]

I don't even know what this thread is about, anymore.

It's definitely not about stoves. Might be worth checking other forums, especially with young kids in the middle of things. .

Talk About Marriage

A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more!

www.talkaboutmarriage.com

 

[Caw]

It's been a good thread. Never know where you're going to end up! At least we're in the Inglenook now.

 

[EatenByLimestone]

I’m thinking maybe it’s a good time for both to sit down in front of an unbiased 3rd party? Insurance will often pay for that and it may help work out some of the issues the two of you have. Sometimes both sides just need to get some baggage released. The root problem might be something you never expected… you didn’t take the trash out once in 2003 or something like that.

 

[MRD1985]

I’m thinking maybe it’s a good time for both to sit down in front of an unbiased 3rd party? Insurance will often pay for that and it may help work out some of the issues the two of you have. Sometimes both sides just need to get some baggage released. The root problem might be something you never expected… you didn’t take the trash out once in 2003 or something like that.

I have suggested that without success. I can’t drag her along if she is unwilling

 

[Caw]

you didn’t take the trash out once in 2003 or something like that

I'll admit it. I definitely forgot the trash that day.

 

[EatenByLimestone]

That is true. You both have to want to go.

Maybe starting with small gestures will soften things a bit. Thanking her for something she does for the family that you appreciate can go a long way. There are probably lots of little things both of you do. She might not think you noticed the things she does.

 

[EatenByLimestone]

I'll admit it. I definitely forgot the trash that day.

Guilty here too! lol.

 

[Caw]

Guilty here too! lol.

I make my 8 year old do it now. He's old enough to contribute.

 

[all night moe]

Now we're taking out the trash?
Yunck, yunck, yunck.

That was part of the argument I had with my wife Sat morning. That it was stuffed full. I told her that her almost 22 yr old ''kid'' could do it. He lives here too ....at no cost. We argued about it. I proved my point and she fell silent. Needless to say, she took out the trash.