Started as stove talk now thread about marriage, etc...

[Caw]

I think humor can be helpful . Hopefully he knows it's out of support. I think he does.

 

[all night moe]

An epic thread of Considering/interested in adding woodstove insert to fireplace.
18 pages.
Congrats, Matt.

 

[MRD1985]

I know that ....gotcha LOL
Will you be in hot water?

Well, I asked “permission” to light the stove before she left for work so stove would be warm when they all got home from school/work and we could enjoy the fire as a family tonight. I got a reluctant “do what you want”. Probably shouldn’t have reading between the lines but oh well. It’s snowing and 30 degrees out perfect day for one. Supposed to be pretty cold here for the next week too.

 

[MRD1985]

Make her a deal.. Say that you will supplement heat from the fireplace for 1 month and will spend whatever savings in terms of other heat sources (electric/gas/oil) on her. Last year I used over 300 less gallons of oil (granted it was a warm winter) My Feb 2023 Oil delivery was 34 gallons compared to 212 in Feb 2022. You will need to know what you spent Month to Month for the past year or two for it to work, but when the heat turns into $$ that can be a deciding factor.

Out of the question at this point. She could care less about the money. Right now it is more about principle of keeping my word and not using it for heat, and not wanting to trigger the kids’ asthma.

I already know I could save plenty of money. No need to convince me of that.

 

[MRD1985]

I think humor can be helpful . Hopefully he knows it's out of support. I think he does.

Of course bud.

 

[Caw]

I think it's safe to say she almost surely meant that in a dismissive f you kind of way but I would have done the same thing you're doing. And you have a valid point about enjoying it together later. Nobody wants to sit in front a cold starting stove.

Shooters shoot. You can't score if you don't shoot!

 

[MRD1985]

I think it's safe to say she almost surely meant that in a dismissive f you kind of way but I would have done the same thing you're doing. And you have a valid point about enjoying it together later. Nobody wants to sit in front a cold starting stove.

Shooters shoot. You can't score if you don't shoot!

I agree. I’m sure she did. I could tell she wanted to say yes but she doesn’t trust my motives and what I’m using it for so that’s why I think I got that comment. But at least wouldn’t have to wait for it to take off on a cold start later on.

 

[Garbanzo62]

Out of the question at this point. She could care less about the money. Right now it is more about principle of keeping my word and not using it for heat, and not wanting to trigger the kids’ asthma.

I already know I could save plenty of money. No need to convince me of that.

Well I guess your only hope is for a power outage where you will need it for heat. When she asks for you to get it going you can say, "I promised you not to use it for Heat'!

 

[Caw]

Well I guess your only hope is for a power outage where you will need it for heat. When she asks for you to get it going you can say, "I promised you not to use it for Heat'!

I hope you're wearing a bulletproof vest if you make that comment. Lol.

 

[MRD1985]

I think it's safe to say she almost surely meant that in a dismissive f you kind of way but I would have done the same thing you're doing. And you have a valid point about enjoying it together later. Nobody wants to sit in front a cold starting stove.

Shooters shoot. You can't score if you don't shoot!

I am trying my best today to do everything I can around here to keep her happy. Doing grocery shopping, cleaning the house, laundry, and making dinner tonight so I hope that will keep the salt out of the wound. At least today.

 

[MRD1985]

I hope you're wearing a bulletproof vest if you make that comment. Lol.

If that ever happened, she’d expect me to dig out a couple of portable generators and back feed the panel through the dryer. I’d have to let her come up with the idea to use the stove in that instance if I value life as I know it.

 

[Caw]

I am trying my best today to do everything I can around here to keep her happy. Doing grocery shopping, cleaning the house, laundry, and making dinner tonight so I hope that will keep the salt out of the wound. At least today.

I respect the effort. My only concern is that she's going to take it all for granted and that she just expects that stuff every day from you. It just sounds like you do a lot of this stuff often and it goes unappreciated. Just be ready in case it doesn't work.

 

[MRD1985]

I respect the effort. My only concern is that she's going to take it all for granted and that she just expects that stuff every day from you. It just sounds like you do a lot of this stuff often and it goes unappreciated. Just be ready in case it doesn't work.

You’re probably right. But man’s gotta try.

 

[all night moe]

I asked “permission” to light the stove before she left for work so stove would be warm when they all got home from school/work and we could enjoy the fire as a family tonight.

and

Supposed to be pretty cold here for the next week too.

This is when, under no circumstances, you do not fire up that insert.
Let her ''enjoy'' a cold stove to sit in front of.

 

[all night moe]

You’re probably right. But man’s gotta try.

I don't know how you do it?

I can....for a while, but only for so long. Which isn't very ...
Ask any of my demanding ex.

 

[Caw]

You’re probably right. But man’s gotta try.

Agreed. It took me a while to get my wife into it. She's not nearly as dug in as your situation like we've discussed, but, she does it all herself now when I'm not there. It'll be 68 and she lights up. Gotta try.

 

[MRD1985]

and

This is when, under no circumstances, you do not fire up that insert.
Let her ''enjoy'' a cold stove to sit in front of.

Yesterday we were all home for the day because of the “holiday”. No school and I didn’t have work. Was very cold all day and would have been a perfect day for a family fire. However the stove stayed cold and vacant all day. I didn’t bring it up, and neither did she because of the shitstorm on Saturday. After a long talk about everything after the kids went to bed, she even said it would have a perfect day for one. But she says I’m sucking the joy out of having fires because she doesn’t trust what I’m using it for and I’m not holding my promise/word. I really didn’t know what to say in defense of that. I tend to freeze during a “talking to”.

 

[MRD1985]

Agreed. It took me a while to get my wife into it. She's not nearly as dug in as your situation like we've discussed, but, she does it all herself now when I'm not there. It'll be 68 and she lights up. Gotta try.

I’ll probably shed tears of joy and relief if that day ever happens. But I think I have a better chance of meeting god.

 

[MRD1985]

She’s cranking now. Big load of oak and black cherry

 

[bigealta]

Making promises is a b-otch. I always leave wiggle room and never promise anything.
If you made a promise well then you gotta live by it.
We got to work on your phrasing in the future!

 

[MRD1985]

Making promises is a b-otch. I always leave wiggle room and never promise anything.
If you made a promise well then you gotta live by it.
We got to work on your phrasing in the future!

That was the only way of getting it into the house in all honesty. She wouldn’t go for it unless I did. Didn’t know what else to do at that point…I thought I could finagle things and eventually she would lighten up on what I said, but so far, doesn’t seem to be the case.

 

[bigealta]

Unfortunately you got to call yourself on it if you did promise.

Something like "You know what, you are right i did make a promise to you because i thought this would both solve our broken chimney problem and also be something fun for our family. I feel much better now that the chimney problem is fixed and want this to be something fun for us again. So i'm not going to start any more fires when you really don't want them." "You tell me when you think it's a good day for one". "Does that work for you?".

 

[MRD1985]

Unfortunately you got to call yourself on it if you did promise.

Something like "You know what, you are right i did make a promise to you because i thought this would both solve our broken chimney problem and also be something fun for our family. I feel much better now that the chimney problem is fixed and want this to be something fun for us again. So i'm not going to start any more fires when you really don't want them." "You tell me when you think it's a good day for one". "Does that work for you?".

Anyone ever tell you that you should be a therapist? I probably would have never figured out to word it like that. I suck at that stuff big time. How you worded it was perfect

 

[Garbanzo62]

That was the only way of getting it into the house in all honesty. She wouldn’t go for it unless I did. Didn’t know what else to do at that point…I thought I could finagle things and eventually she would lighten up on what I said, but so far, doesn’t seem to be the case.

Gee I thought I had it bad when my wife says I am doubling my effort when I move wood from one place to the other.

 

[weee123]

Im with all night on the taking pain meds. I’ll try to just tough it out. I’m also a bit younger than you guys at 28, but I’ve always done manual labor jobs for a living, 7 years turning wrenches on cars and now 5 years as a union sheetmetal worker can definitely leave an ache or two in the morning. But usually im alright. Big thing is if I need to get work done like cutting and splitting or work in the barn it has to be right after work. Once I sit down on the couch it’s game over lol.

Also good luck when the ol lady comes home Matt!