You're not leaving that there...
- Thread starter CountryBoy19
- Start date
-
Active since 1995, Hearth.com is THE place on the internet for free information and advice about wood stoves, pellet stoves and other energy saving equipment.
We strive to provide opinions, articles, discussions and history related to Hearth Products and in a more general sense, energy issues.
We promote the EFFICIENT, RESPONSIBLE, CLEAN and SAFE use of all fuels, whether renewable or fossil.
- Status
Just go ahead and move it ..... up onto the porch and put a old dress of hers over it , When she asks why say it looked big enough to cover the wood pile. j/k
My wife told me she hates the boiler and would rather pay for the gas , because it takes too much time away from the projects she wants me to do .
My wife told me she hates the boiler and would rather pay for the gas , because it takes too much time away from the projects she wants me to do .
CountryBoy19 said:
My wife came home with "kettlebells", weights with handles, to workout with. Probably cost as much as 1/2 cord of wood. When I had two cords delivered recently, I said "you can help me stack this and you won't have to do your kettlebell workout"...didn't work.
Tell her you put it there until she decided where she wants the wood shed.
Ask her where she wants the wood shed.
Check with fire dept, property managers, etc. to make sure all OK
Have her help locate the corners.
By that time it's winter, & the wood will be getting burned, & too late to build a shed.
Now, come spring, go buy the stuff for the wood shed.
Verify the location & build it.
Now you have a wood shed to move any of the left over & new wood into.
2 days ago, I picked 1-1/2 gallons of raspberries, brought them in, "You expect me to stop what I'm doing, to use the berries & make a pie" I say "no, the berries are ripe now & some falling on the ground & needed picked"
Short version, I gave the berries to the neighbor, they were happy.
Today she wants berries for a pie, told her berries are all gone, go ask the neighbors.
When you figure it out, let me know, 36 years here.
Ask her where she wants the wood shed.
Check with fire dept, property managers, etc. to make sure all OK
Have her help locate the corners.
By that time it's winter, & the wood will be getting burned, & too late to build a shed.
Now, come spring, go buy the stuff for the wood shed.
Verify the location & build it.
Now you have a wood shed to move any of the left over & new wood into.
2 days ago, I picked 1-1/2 gallons of raspberries, brought them in, "You expect me to stop what I'm doing, to use the berries & make a pie" I say "no, the berries are ripe now & some falling on the ground & needed picked"
Short version, I gave the berries to the neighbor, they were happy.
Today she wants berries for a pie, told her berries are all gone, go ask the neighbors.
When you figure it out, let me know, 36 years here.
They will bend you till they break you, then blame your broken a** for not being able to take it. Once you let them walk on you, you end up a door mat! figured that out with the first wife, didnt learn my leason with the second. stupid me. Communication and a good marraige counselor. even then, you'll end up moving the wood and being a jerk for not listening to her in the first place. even if she said nothing.Clarkbar2311 said:
......I do most of the cooking, one day when the kids were little my bride came home and dinner was ready. She had a bad day. Well nothing was right with dinner and she didn't stop letting me know. I finely said let me see that, she handed the plate over. I turned around and dropped plate and all in the garbage. I then finished my dinner and explained that I wouldent want her to suffer anymore.
In 1 week we will be married 31 years, she is the reason the sun comes up in my eyes. But sometimes ya gotta stand yer ground
In 1 week we will be married 31 years, she is the reason the sun comes up in my eyes. But sometimes ya gotta stand yer ground
So I told my wife about your plight this morning . . . and some of the responses which seem to range from the "I'm-the-man-and-I'll-do-as-I-please-so-grow-a-pair-and-tell-here-it's-staying" to the other end of the spectrum where folks are advising that you just move it for marital harmony.
Here's her thoughts . . . and I thought these thoughts quite telling . . . then again I'm kind of partial to my wife . . . and we must be doing something right since a lot of marriages in America don't last and as of next Tuesday we'll have been married 14 years (and together for 16 years):
First off, she said it seems as though when guys are talking (or in this case writing) to other guys she said us guys often seem to take the "I'm the man in this household and I wear the pants" attitude . . . especially younger guys . . . but she said what she sees far too often is that these macho guys say one thing . . . but behind closed doors are putty in their wives' hands . . . or at least they're not as caveman-like as they want other guys to think they are for whatever reason.
Second . . . she agreed with me . . . marriage is a give and take relationship . . . and it's a relationship built on communication . . . and loving the other person as much as you love yourself. If the wife did not make a decision until after the member finished the work then she feels as though the wife has two choices: 1) Help move the wood pile or 2) Leave the wood pile there and have the husband stack wood somewhere else in the future.
My wife said young couples especially (and no offense to the OP here) often are used to making decisions on their own, looking after themselves first and foremost and having the world revolve around us. All our life to the point where we get married we pretty much are used to ourselves being the only decision maker (to some degree -- realizing that we must follow the law and rule of our parents, state, federal government, etc.) . . . and for many of us we're used to gettting what we want most of the time . . . until we get into a relationship . . . and then things change. Now the decisions we make affect another person . . . and now we must consider or should consider the feelings and actions of another person and how our actions affect that other person . . . part of growing up and maturing in a deep relationship is realizing that this person you are with is truly your best friend and that you wouldn't ever want to hurt or make that person unhappy . . . the way I see it . . . I am happiest when I can make my wife happy and she is happiest by making me happy . . . and when you are always looking out for that other person and not putting yourself first . . . and your spouse is doing the very same thing . . . well, good things happen because each is trying to make each other happy and as a result everyone is happy and on the same proverbial page.
As to just moving the pile in the interest of marital harmony my wife felt this would be the wrong thing to do . . . in the short term she said it would smooth over the problem . . . but the message it sends in the long term is that if you just complain hard and long enough then you can get your way with nearly anything. Now that said, sometimes there are issues on which a person needs to stand their ground -- issues that involve the financial standing of both partners, health issues which affect both partners, etc. . . . but on a trivial item like this . . . well, it's just that . . . trivial . . . your wife needs to let go and realize she doesn't always have to get her way or always be right . . . and incidentally . . . this goes both ways . . . for men . . . and for women.
As for the I'm the man, I wear the pants crowd . . . well I learned a long time ago that this doesn't work . . . my wife and I are truly equal partners. Sure, she may not be out there cutting down trees and I may shudder at the thought of dusting (that's not to say I don't help vacuum and clean the house and she doesn't help split or stack wood) . . . but we both work hard and both contribute to the relationship and well being of the household. A long, long time ago . . . in a relationship not so far away I once stepped on a rusty nail and refused to go to the hospital to get a tetanus shot. She kept insisting I go and I finally said, "I'm the man in this house and it's my own body" to which she quietly said, "That may be so, but what affects you, affects me . . . and while it is true you are the man and it's your own body I'll tell you that I'm the woman in this house and this is my own body . . . and until you go to the hospital this body is sleeping on the bed and your body is sleeping on the couch." At the time I was pretty ticked . . . but now in hindsight I see the reasoning . . . what I was doing (or not doing) had the potential to drastically affect her . . . and what I thought was nagging was in reality simple concern over my health and well-being . . . and I was being a dumb a$$ and not seeing things for what they were.
So to sum up . . . I (and my wife) still maintain your wife is wrong (especially if she failed to make a decision until after the work was done) and feel the options are to either leave the wood there until it is all burned or your wife can help move the wood . . . and maybe next time if she truly has an opinion she will let you know before the work is done.
Here's her thoughts . . . and I thought these thoughts quite telling . . . then again I'm kind of partial to my wife . . . and we must be doing something right since a lot of marriages in America don't last and as of next Tuesday we'll have been married 14 years (and together for 16 years):
First off, she said it seems as though when guys are talking (or in this case writing) to other guys she said us guys often seem to take the "I'm the man in this household and I wear the pants" attitude . . . especially younger guys . . . but she said what she sees far too often is that these macho guys say one thing . . . but behind closed doors are putty in their wives' hands . . . or at least they're not as caveman-like as they want other guys to think they are for whatever reason.
Second . . . she agreed with me . . . marriage is a give and take relationship . . . and it's a relationship built on communication . . . and loving the other person as much as you love yourself. If the wife did not make a decision until after the member finished the work then she feels as though the wife has two choices: 1) Help move the wood pile or 2) Leave the wood pile there and have the husband stack wood somewhere else in the future.
My wife said young couples especially (and no offense to the OP here) often are used to making decisions on their own, looking after themselves first and foremost and having the world revolve around us. All our life to the point where we get married we pretty much are used to ourselves being the only decision maker (to some degree -- realizing that we must follow the law and rule of our parents, state, federal government, etc.) . . . and for many of us we're used to gettting what we want most of the time . . . until we get into a relationship . . . and then things change. Now the decisions we make affect another person . . . and now we must consider or should consider the feelings and actions of another person and how our actions affect that other person . . . part of growing up and maturing in a deep relationship is realizing that this person you are with is truly your best friend and that you wouldn't ever want to hurt or make that person unhappy . . . the way I see it . . . I am happiest when I can make my wife happy and she is happiest by making me happy . . . and when you are always looking out for that other person and not putting yourself first . . . and your spouse is doing the very same thing . . . well, good things happen because each is trying to make each other happy and as a result everyone is happy and on the same proverbial page.
As to just moving the pile in the interest of marital harmony my wife felt this would be the wrong thing to do . . . in the short term she said it would smooth over the problem . . . but the message it sends in the long term is that if you just complain hard and long enough then you can get your way with nearly anything. Now that said, sometimes there are issues on which a person needs to stand their ground -- issues that involve the financial standing of both partners, health issues which affect both partners, etc. . . . but on a trivial item like this . . . well, it's just that . . . trivial . . . your wife needs to let go and realize she doesn't always have to get her way or always be right . . . and incidentally . . . this goes both ways . . . for men . . . and for women.
As for the I'm the man, I wear the pants crowd . . . well I learned a long time ago that this doesn't work . . . my wife and I are truly equal partners. Sure, she may not be out there cutting down trees and I may shudder at the thought of dusting (that's not to say I don't help vacuum and clean the house and she doesn't help split or stack wood) . . . but we both work hard and both contribute to the relationship and well being of the household. A long, long time ago . . . in a relationship not so far away I once stepped on a rusty nail and refused to go to the hospital to get a tetanus shot. She kept insisting I go and I finally said, "I'm the man in this house and it's my own body" to which she quietly said, "That may be so, but what affects you, affects me . . . and while it is true you are the man and it's your own body I'll tell you that I'm the woman in this house and this is my own body . . . and until you go to the hospital this body is sleeping on the bed and your body is sleeping on the couch." At the time I was pretty ticked . . . but now in hindsight I see the reasoning . . . what I was doing (or not doing) had the potential to drastically affect her . . . and what I thought was nagging was in reality simple concern over my health and well-being . . . and I was being a dumb a$$ and not seeing things for what they were.
So to sum up . . . I (and my wife) still maintain your wife is wrong (especially if she failed to make a decision until after the work was done) and feel the options are to either leave the wood there until it is all burned or your wife can help move the wood . . . and maybe next time if she truly has an opinion she will let you know before the work is done.
your post was too long. could you please sum it up with a
"I'm with quads, just restack the sucker"
or
"i'm with quads, just leave the sucker"
lol
"I'm with quads, just restack the sucker"
or
"i'm with quads, just leave the sucker"
lol
Danno77 said:
You sound like a friend of mine . . . he describes my posts like this . . . Words Words Words Words Words Let's go ATVing Words Words Words Words We can also go camping Words Words Words Words Words You bring the beer Words Words Words Words Words I'll kick in some money if you're willing to cook Words Words Words Words Words See you on Friday.
So to sum up Danno.
I'm with Quads -- just leave the sucker (unless she is willing to help you move the stack!
Just so you know, Jake, I actually did read the post and agree. That wouldn't have been a funny reply, though....
.....31 years and I can't agree more that it is a give and take union. When I handed my daughter off to her husband I told them BOTH don't ever take each other for granted.....
So much for a macho forum. "woodshed".
Psychoanalyzing a pile of wood & relationship issues.
Maybe we need a new "forum name" topic. Woodburner Relationships.
Lots of wisdom given on the topic. No idea or method fits everyone, it's all a learning process.
Read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" .
The problem isn't the pile of wood, it's much deeper. For hundreds of years, Thousands have tried explaining the man-women relationship & failed.
Was, Is & Will be a never ending search for a perfect relationship between the 2, not to ever be solved by men.
Now lets all "hug"
&
"FIRE UP THE SAW, SWING THE MAUL & GET SOME WORK DONE"
Psychoanalyzing a pile of wood & relationship issues.
Maybe we need a new "forum name" topic. Woodburner Relationships.
Lots of wisdom given on the topic. No idea or method fits everyone, it's all a learning process.
Read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" .
The problem isn't the pile of wood, it's much deeper. For hundreds of years, Thousands have tried explaining the man-women relationship & failed.
Was, Is & Will be a never ending search for a perfect relationship between the 2, not to ever be solved by men.
Now lets all "hug"
&
"FIRE UP THE SAW, SWING THE MAUL & GET SOME WORK DONE"
Sounds to me that the wood isn't exactly the problem. I think you ought to really think about making a stand on this one. Not the kind of stand that causes her too fight back, rather one that shows her who you are and what your made of. A stand that ought to make her happy to have found such a man and maybe one that will remind her that it is her that choose this man in the first place. From the amount of posts this topic has generated it must really hit close to the heart. How long have you two been married? This really may be a gift. As for me, and I'm known for doing whatever my wife wants, I would let my wife know that the wood will be burnt this winter and that I'm sorry you don't like how it looks now, next year lets get something understood before I bring the wood home. I would suggest that when she looks at it, think about how nice that heat will feel this winter and why would she try to upset you over a wood pile when next year you can change it. Ask her, what does she love more, you or the way things look around there, and that the wood pile will stay there so she can be reminded of that every time she looks at it, kinda like her wedding ring. Really, it's only a temporary issue and you love her so much, you know she's working on not being so bossy, this is your contribution to helping her with that. After 25 years of marriage, I have found that often problems that come up between us we never will resolve, we just outlive them until they don't matter anymore, later on they're fun to laugh at.
Just move the darn pile so she can find something new to be mad at you about.
Actually, I would tell her you will burn that pile first and stack in different place from now on. That seems reasonable for two adults.
Actually, I would tell her you will burn that pile first and stack in different place from now on. That seems reasonable for two adults.
1.) Put curtains on the stacks and call it a day.
2.) Fake a back strain after moving a bit of the pile then guilt her in to bringing cold beverages to you in the lawn chair all weekend.
3.) If you had thought on your feet you would have said "Hearth.com forum members agreed with me that this is the best location for the pile due to wind and sun exposure, therefore seasoning the wood quicker. This will save on the heating bill this winter."
4.) As a last resort, drop a large split on your hand and repeat step 2.
Just kidding, but compromise to a decision and slowly chisel away at getting the scale tipped back in your favor.
Jon
2.) Fake a back strain after moving a bit of the pile then guilt her in to bringing cold beverages to you in the lawn chair all weekend.
3.) If you had thought on your feet you would have said "Hearth.com forum members agreed with me that this is the best location for the pile due to wind and sun exposure, therefore seasoning the wood quicker. This will save on the heating bill this winter."
4.) As a last resort, drop a large split on your hand and repeat step 2.
Just kidding, but compromise to a decision and slowly chisel away at getting the scale tipped back in your favor.
Jon
I've the perfect solution for the wood location. Move it on over next to MY porch. I won't mind a bit. :lol:
You could tell her that you will move the wood right after you have your testicles removed also! Maybe thats already been done. Sorry I couldn't resist, hope it already hasn't been used! I don't have the patience to read all these. Please don't take this personally I just couldn't resist, thats probably what I would tell my wife! Sometimes people have to realize how important some things are to us!
Send us a picture of this wood pile. We will judge if it warrants removal.
Send us a picture of this wood pile. We will judge if it warrants removal.
p.s. While I don't think you should move that pile of wood, I also don't think you should draw a line in the sand. I wouldn't want to die on that hill. You can win on this issue or you can WIN in your marriage by finding a situation where you both felt like you had a say.
But then I wouldn't take marriage advice from me :lol:
I'm like Pee Wee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKLizztikRk
But then I wouldn't take marriage advice from me :lol:
I'm like Pee Wee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKLizztikRk
What a funny thread. Thanks for the laughs, you guys.
Jake, your post is perfect, along with so many other guys'... so are Eileen's and Kathleen's.
We took down a bunch of trees to build the bahn. BIL took down several on his property, too. We "scored big" and there was no way in hell the bounty was going to be hauled away "for free" after the tree guys did their thing. OK, where to stack the stuff we'd split? Practical and pragmatic to my very marrow I quickly realized that to take best advantage of sun and prevailing wind and keep the stacks out of public view I'd have to sacrifice my beloved back yard. 'bout broke my heart but in the greater context... not a big deal! The husband and I carefully stacked it neatly and I "sucked it up". I was promised that the wood would be moved under cover in one year's time and IT WAS! Workin' on wood can be a mutually satisfyin' thing, lol.
I work in the Home Dec. trade. I'm all about aesthetics, "how things look". But, sometimes you can't always have the "look" you want immediately. Sometimes minimizing the "damage" is the best you can hope for, lol. Here's the question I always ask myself: is this the hill I want to die on? I've yet to find that it is, frankly. I had one of my gardening friends over last year, she confided that there was no way she'd "allow" that sort of thing in her backyard. I smiled and said that knowing I had the best part of $1500/wood in my yard was just fine with me... , shoulda seen her face. She had no idea how much those stacks were "worth" and it was a dope slap for her since her husband was unemployed. For the "girls" out there who like a cozy home and don't participate in the "wood thing"...
Wood=Work=Money. Simple. It's a time and motion, "piece rate" thing... handle it as few times as you have to and you'll derive the most benefit. Pretty simple when you winnow it down to the "least common denominator". And to the guys out there... make the time to discuss the siting and the relative benefits to the "little woman". And do your best to make the stacks neat and keep them tidy. It will mean a lot, trust me.
(I hate to cook, but I happily clean up the trail the husband leaves behind. Having good food on the table without having to lift a finger to do it is more luxurious than I can say. A meal never cooks under this roof without, "wow, that smells great!" and it never ends without a sincere, "that was fabulous, thank you for a lovely meal". I may grouse about the number of pans/dishes deployed to create it, but I always clean them up!)
Jake, your post is perfect, along with so many other guys'... so are Eileen's and Kathleen's.
We took down a bunch of trees to build the bahn. BIL took down several on his property, too. We "scored big" and there was no way in hell the bounty was going to be hauled away "for free" after the tree guys did their thing. OK, where to stack the stuff we'd split? Practical and pragmatic to my very marrow I quickly realized that to take best advantage of sun and prevailing wind and keep the stacks out of public view I'd have to sacrifice my beloved back yard. 'bout broke my heart but in the greater context... not a big deal! The husband and I carefully stacked it neatly and I "sucked it up". I was promised that the wood would be moved under cover in one year's time and IT WAS! Workin' on wood can be a mutually satisfyin' thing, lol.
I work in the Home Dec. trade. I'm all about aesthetics, "how things look". But, sometimes you can't always have the "look" you want immediately. Sometimes minimizing the "damage" is the best you can hope for, lol. Here's the question I always ask myself: is this the hill I want to die on? I've yet to find that it is, frankly. I had one of my gardening friends over last year, she confided that there was no way she'd "allow" that sort of thing in her backyard. I smiled and said that knowing I had the best part of $1500/wood in my yard was just fine with me... , shoulda seen her face. She had no idea how much those stacks were "worth" and it was a dope slap for her since her husband was unemployed. For the "girls" out there who like a cozy home and don't participate in the "wood thing"...
Wood=Work=Money. Simple. It's a time and motion, "piece rate" thing... handle it as few times as you have to and you'll derive the most benefit. Pretty simple when you winnow it down to the "least common denominator". And to the guys out there... make the time to discuss the siting and the relative benefits to the "little woman". And do your best to make the stacks neat and keep them tidy. It will mean a lot, trust me.
(I hate to cook, but I happily clean up the trail the husband leaves behind. Having good food on the table without having to lift a finger to do it is more luxurious than I can say. A meal never cooks under this roof without, "wow, that smells great!" and it never ends without a sincere, "that was fabulous, thank you for a lovely meal". I may grouse about the number of pans/dishes deployed to create it, but I always clean them up!)
Bobbin said:What a funny thread. Thanks for the laughs, you guys.
Jake, your post is perfect, along with so many other guys'... so are Eileen's and Kathleen's.
We took down a bunch of trees to build the bahn. BIL took down several on his property, too. We "scored big" and there was no way in hell the bounty was going to be hauled away "for free" after the tree guys did their thing. OK, where to stack the stuff we'd split? Practical and pragmatic to my very marrow I quickly realized that to take best advantage of sun and prevailing wind and keep the stacks out of public view I'd have to sacrifice my beloved back yard. 'bout broke my heart but in the greater context... not a big deal! The husband and I carefully stacked it neatly and I "sucked it up". I was promised that the wood would be moved under cover in one year's time and IT WAS! Workin' on wood can be a mutually satisfyin' thing, lol.
I work in the Home Dec. trade. I'm all about aesthetics, "how things look". But, sometimes you can't always have the "look" you want immediately. Sometimes minimizing the "damage" is the best you can hope for, lol. Here's the question I always ask myself: is this the hill I want to die on? I've yet to find that it is, frankly. I had one of my gardening friends over last year, she confided that there was no way she'd "allow" that sort of thing in her backyard. I smiled and said that knowing I had the best part of $1500/wood in my yard was just fine with me... , shoulda seen her face. She had no idea how much those stacks were "worth" and it was a dope slap for her since her husband was unemployed. For the "girls" out there who like a cozy home and don't participate in the "wood thing"...
Wood=Work=Money. Simple. It's a time and motion, "piece rate" thing... handle it as few times as you have to and you'll derive the most benefit. Pretty simple when you winnow it down to the "least common denominator". And to the guys out there... make the time to discuss the siting and the relative benefits to the "little woman". And do your best to make the stacks neat and keep them tidy. It will mean a lot, trust me.
(I hate to cook, but I happily clean up the trail the husband leaves behind. Having good food on the table without having to lift a finger to do it is more luxurious than I can say. A meal never cooks under this roof without, "wow, that smells great!" and it never ends without a sincere, "that was fabulous, thank you for a lovely meal". I may grouse about the number of pans/dishes deployed to create it, but I always clean them up!)
HehHeh . . . this line struck home with me. In our household whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up . . . and vice versa. Since I hate cleaning up I tend to do more of the cooking . . . and my wife often remarks about a) my ability to use the maxium amount of dishes, bowls and utensils possible and b) my inability to put said items into the dishwasher after use.
My guess, your wife probably doesnt realize how much work goes into stacking a pile. Just yesterday, I was out in my "woodland" splitting about a cord. After a lunch break I went out to stack. My wife came out to tell me she was running to the store and said "wow, you split all that today? How much wood is it?". I finished stacking on a row of pallets that I had earlier started on, the pile I had split was exactly enough to finish filling up the pallets. When my wife got home, I told her this and she was amazed at how much wood a cord was.
- Status
Similar threads
