Craigslist laugh of the day.....

[JabaduGarfunkle]

I wonder if I can give away the trees on my land. Fire chief says trees should be ten to twenty feet apart. What do you think of this ad copy. Should i post it on CL?

Free fire wood trees you cut them you can keep 1 tree for every 4 trees that you cut for me. You must cut and split all the wood before you leave. Its mostly hill so you would have to try not to die. It is impossible to get equipment there so you will have to carry all the trees to the cutting area. All the slash must be removed from the area. You must be carefull not to make too much noise as my peace and quite is highly valuable. The firewood is pine so you can only burn it if you have an open fireplace like mine and you have to open two windows so the cool air keeps the chimney cold. Preference given to someone with a stump grinder. Do not contact me if you do not have insurance. Must have deposit incase you mess my drive way. If you just deliver 6 cords of 2 year seasoned oak to my porch you can cut and remove 3 of my trees to your location without having to split them at my place. Thats like 12 cords of wood for 6 cords of wood. Have to hurry as it will snow soon and I am cold already.

I didn't fully read the first part and thought this was an actual ad... Blood pressure increase was probably measurable. Was thinking 'who are these people!?'

The scary part is that I could see this being a real ad...

 

[Hasufel]

Ha that is a great way to look at it, I was thinking who grinds stumps in the middle of the woods..

Don't you also want them to plant saplings to replace the trees they take down?

 

[Dobish]

seems like a great idea... i bet you i could pick up a cord for $115, then have to do the work... i probably have to load it too... they don't know what a cord is, but they have 5.....

 

[bfedorov91]

2 cords? that must be at least 3! all the black stuff is extra seasoning right?

 

[Tocramed]

I'd better hurry if I am going to get this deal!

 

[Dobish]

View attachment 187107
I'd better hurry if I am going to get this deal!

my dad is right down the street (oshkosh), maybe he would like this

 

[Handsonautotech]

Don't you also want them to plant saplings to replace the trees they take down?

Only after they humanly trap every animal on all 5 acres and move them into the surrounding national forest.

 

[Handsonautotech]

(broken link removed to http://boulder.craigslist.org/for/5787873870.html)

Adding a fresh one to the mix. This might not seem like a bad deal at first, but you have to realize that it is more common to have to pay someone to remove this stuff in this area, or at least offer it for free. Most people who live up here are sick of dealing with their own fire mitigation left-overs.

 

[Easy Livin’ 3000]

YIKES!

(broken link removed to http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/grd/5849508581.html)

 

[Ashful]

YIKES!

(broken link removed to http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/grd/5849508581.html)

View attachment 187193

What's wrong with that one, Ed? Looks like standard Doug Fir timber cutoffs, if I'm not mistaken. $15 for 100 lb. of KD lumber seems pretty damn good, in comparison to 15 lb. bundles of grocery store KD firewood at $6/bundle.

 

[Easy Livin’ 3000]

What's wrong with that one, Ed? Looks like standard Doug Fir timber cutoffs, if I'm not mistaken. $15 for 100 lb. of KD lumber seems pretty damn good, in comparison to 15 lb. bundles of grocery store KD firewood at $6/bundle.

I thought it looked like pressure treated. There are additional pictures at the link. Hard to tell, for sure.

 

[CheapBassTurd]

Those 3X4's rough cut are what I get at the pallet factory scrounge bins.
They give away a few bins per week and we have those on standby around the
living room walls kinda like a rustic version of Minecraft. The "rainy day", dad is sick,
don't feel like going to the woodstack, all purpose fast n' dry backup indoor stash. No bugs.
Now that I found out Industrial Lumber Company leaves out it's scraps for the locals it's become
a gold mine of kindling and those 3X4's do great. I leave the other two bins alone of the four.

After reading this thread I've found many "typical" Craigslist ads here too. The firewood is gone
but we can come by fully insured of course and haul away what they couldn't cut or split easily, all
at a fair price of course. LOL

 

[MrsD]

View attachment 186987

2 cords? that must be at least 3! all the black stuff is extra seasoning right?

$150 for rotten wood! People are crazy...

 

[Jeffm1]

PRECISELY!! I've said it before in regards to these "free firewood" posts......I'll take that wood for free, but I'm gonna charge them for taking it down......

...and assume all liability.....yeah, right!

 

[Dobish]

i figured i don't have enough wood yet, and i want to drive an hour to help this guy out.... i asked if he wanted me to split it for him too and stack it nicely.

 

[Hasufel]

Any interest in "season firewood"? Not CL but an actual sign I saw along the road today. I'm wondering if they didn't have enough room to spell out "seasoned" or if they were just being honest (as in, it was split this season). $300/cord for oak, $350 for cherry, $240 for mixed wood, FWIW.

 

[Dobish]

someone finally got as upset as i did about this standing ad!

 

[CentralVAWoodHeat]

I just have to share this one:

(broken link removed to http://charlottesville.craigslist.org/fod/5987668165.html)

You can dress it up all you want but $600 a cord is pretty darn laughable. Sad part is, plenty of folks in the DC Area will pay that to run their fireplaces a few times a year.

 

[Ashful]

I just have to share this one:

(broken link removed to http://charlottesville.craigslist.org/fod/5987668165.html)

You can dress it up all you want but $600 a cord is pretty darn laughable. Sad part is, plenty of folks in the DC Area will pay that to run their fireplaces a few times a year.

Maybe you missed that delivery and stacking is included in that price. So you could figure it at $50 for the face cord, plus $150 for the time and fuel to load, deliver, unload, and stack it for the customer. Doesn't seem like a bad deal, for that demographic.

Most places around here will charge a delivery fee, and that means dumping it in your driveway from the dump truck, not stacking it on your porch.

 

[fishki]

I always wanted a free stack of rotted firewood.

(broken link removed to https://fayar.craigslist.org/zip/5971186321.html)

 

[CentralVAWoodHeat]

Maybe you missed that delivery and stacking is included in that price. So you could figure it at $50 for the face cord, plus $150 for the time and fuel to load, deliver, unload, and stack it for the customer. Doesn't seem like a bad deal, for that demographic.

Most places around here will charge a delivery fee, and that means dumping it in your driveway from the dump truck, not stacking it on your porch.

Not around here. $200 a cord delivered and maybe $25-$50 to stack are the going rate. I've gotten seasoned wood for $185/cord stacked and delivered.

 

[Jason763]

 

[Ashful]

Not around here. $200 a cord delivered and maybe $25-$50 to stack are the going rate. I've gotten seasoned wood for $185/cord stacked and delivered.

Around here it's $225 for a cord dumped as a pile in your driveway, but I have friends paying that same amount per half cord 25 miles away, in the city.

 

[iamlucky13]

If I lie to you, and even give you a picture proving I'm lying, will you still come pick up my filthy, unchopped firewood?

(broken link removed to https://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/zip/6015807713.html)

 

[Woody5506]

So in other words...you won't hire an actual tree service.