Don't confuse the capacitive effect of soapstone with comfort at a particular distance. Saying soapstone is the "softest" heat is true in that it has an enormous capacitive effect, to store energy without experiencing as much temperature rise during the hottest part of the burn cycle, this energy being radiated over a longer time later in the burn cycle. In that regard, soapstone will see less temperature rise during the early part of the burn cycle, but that's often the opposite of what people want. When bringing a cold room up, or sitting in front of the stove on a cold night, it's most often the searing radiant heat that you want to feel! When you hear people talk about how wood heat feels different, despite your room being nearly the same temperature as with central heating, this is usually the reason. Cooler on one end of the room, with strong radiant heat coming from the stove... feels great to us humans, for some reason. The folks at Woodstock realized this several years back, when they started putting large glass panels in their stoves, now providing the best of both worlds.
More importantly, when someone talks about being roasted out of a room, they're rarely talking about the searing heat radiating from the front of a stove. They're usually talking about the ambient temperature in the room being too high. A hot stove radiating in a cooler room can feel wonderful, but 80 degrees ambient feels like 80 degrees ambient (fill in whatever temperature is "too warm" for you), whether driven by soapstone, cast, or steel. In fact, one could very easily argue that soapstone has the most trouble in this regard, with enormous energy storage and inertia. You can feel the effect from and quickly correct a very responsive steel stove. With soapstone, you have to better anticipate where things are headed, as that high specific heat mass will continue to heat you for some time after you've decided you're too warm and turn down the air.
So, soapstone is a great material for stoves, but like all others, it also has its disadvantages.