It sounds like your climate is pretty mild, your 1000 sf home well insulated. You say that you don't mind letting the stove go out at night and can tend the stove during the day. That's a scenario for a quite small stove like the Englander 17VL and similar.
With a well-insulated home I think you'll be able to use small fires to maintain room temps, and the ability of the house to hold heat will smooth out the spikes.a cat will burn longer and at lower settings so it wont over heat you in the room your in. The soapstone stoves also absorb the spike in the heat cycle and stores that heat and lets it off after the stove has died down giving you heat over a longer period.
Is the floor plan open? If not you may want to use a small desk fan on low, on the floor, blowing cooler air into the stove room and distributing the warm air throughout the house.
We went to the local stove store, and they cater to folks who don't worry about money.
Good stuff, keep 'em coming.this is not like driving around in a strange area. When in doubt, stop and ask for directions