I get 4 hours or so until totally burned up ,no hot embers
If after 4 hours (assuming you you have the air control fully closed or nearly so) you have no coals from a full load, and only ash, then there is little doubt that air is entering the stove somewhere besides the unrestricted secondary inlet. You might try the "smoke test" w/ incense or punk stick to try and tell if you can see air being pulled into the stove around any door edges or seams. As well as primary air control or gasket issue, it could be a bad cement seam or defective hinge/door.