New Wood Fireplace and Now Angry Neighbour

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My mom is one of these crabby ladies. It's more of a mental issue of controlling your surroundings than anything else. IE, the faint scent of fuel walking by my classic cars can make her "dizzy" or a neighbor has a fire makes it "smoky"

Really, no cure for the problem.
yup, I know what you mean. They are constantly on edge a bit or anxious, fighting to have a normal/good day and the slightest thing triggers them to get more anxious and upset. I think there are many people like this.
 
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Do you have gas or propane? Could you install a gas log set??

Why? They want to burn wood. They spent 20 grand on what they wanted. I'd be damned if I would just throw that away. If I want to burn wood in my house that's what I am going to do. I will make every effort to do it as clean as possible but you can only do so much. Changing what you want is only enabling this women to get what she wants. It's not like they are burning garbage in the fireplace. Burning wood is not an unreasonable thing to do.
 
Why would they change out from what they wanted, and paid a lot of money for, then have to pay a lot more money for especially since it wouldn't change anything? The neighbor would still have a problem with it. That makes absolutely no sense to me.
The only reason I agree with what he / she wrote was because an efficient wood stove with seasoned wood can produce nice flames, great heat, look great and reduce the smoke dramatically. Also if it really comes down to it and they were to get into a legal battle (not saying they are but), a wood stove with a cat using dry wood, has a much better leg to stand on vs an ornamental fireplace. A good example of this are HOA's that lose the battle with home owners parking work trucks on their property vs an RV, both not permitted but one is much more enforceable than the other.
 
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MomOf2Gr8Kids After reading through more of your posts and learning even more about your neighbor lady friend, it is plain to see (IMO) that the problem lies with her and not your setup. Unfortunately, there is probably nothing you can do to satisfy her..........perhaps there were warning signs during the lemonade drinking and associated conversation visits with her?​


Go ahead and enjoy your well earned fireplace and rest assured that you are doing everything correctly. You shouldn't have to worry about conforming to someone else's wants. Maybe even mention to her that you have done everything you can to appease her but still plan to enjoy your fireplace occasionally.

Based on the "leaf story", it sounds like there will always be a never ending list or requirements with your neighbor. Tell you husband that I can send him some dandelion seeds if he wants. LOL
 
Why? They want to burn wood. They spent 20 grand on what they wanted. I'd be damned if I would just throw that away. If I want to burn wood in my house that's what I am going to do. I will make every effort to do it as clean as possible but you can only do so much. Changing what you want is only enabling this women to get what she wants. It's not like they are burning garbage in the fireplace. Burning wood is not an unreasonable thing to do.
Not to mention a gas fireplace, if used often enough, really starts to get up there in price. I have a gas fireplace in a property that I really like because it's a lightswitch on/off. Makes life so easy, but I own now 3 wood burning appliances and use them every opportunity I can.
 
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If it is worth it, you could spend a couple of hundred dollars and buy her a good air purifier:
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Well i don't like smoke blowing in my house either. The neighbors burn crappy wood in outdoor firepits in the summer when we have all our windows open. They of course think smoky fires are normal. I close my windows when i would much rather have them open on hot summer nights. We don't have AC.

I am also like 15 feet away from my other neighbors and am always conscious of starting fires and reloading when running my woodstove. They never complain but they are not the type of people that would ever complain. But i make sure i do start and run my stove as cleanly as possible. That means lots of kindling, dry splits, hot starts and good air gaps on reloads.

Also i check the wind direction and am extra careful if it's blowing straight at their house. They have attic gable vents so i'm sure the start up/reload smoke gets at least into their attic vent space.

So Very Dry Seasoned wood and Hot Hot Top Down starting that stops showing smoke in less than 5 minutes should be a good plan when u do burn. When you are burning well all u will see out of your chimney will be clear heat waves.
 
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Maybe u could pipe the intake of her exchanger to a lower point on her house where smoke will no go as much?

I guess you could also put a mini solo stove inside that fireplace. They burn very cleanly.
 
I mentioned the ESP filter a few pages back and still say if you have invested this much money into this just go a bit further and clean up the exhaust more, it would only turn on when you are actively burning so it wouldn't waste energy. It would be a perfect compliment for your fireplace to burn cleaner.

It is very cool technology that hasn't taken off yet but I really do think it would be the perfect solution to your neighbor issue.

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yup, I know what you mean. They are constantly on edge a bit or anxious, fighting to have a normal/good day and the slightest thing triggers them to get more anxious and upset. I think there are many people like this.
I agree. This is a person you'll never appease. If not this, it'll be something else. Tell her to go pound salt.
 
She pays a team of people to come rake her extensive forest of all the leaves (takes a team of three about 3 full days as the side of her house is a groomed forest with paths).

Want to point out that trees use their deep roots to mine deep minerals, which they put into their leaves, and dropping the leaves fertilizes their shallow roots.

This "raking" leaves idea, which is all to common, is basically hurting the trees normal biological cycle. For... Why? Personal egocentric reasons that it somehow "looks nicer"??..... And then what? Burn the leaves (people where I live do this) so the carbon goes into the air rather than soil? That causes a lot of smoke. Good grief....

Just let the leaves "be" in place. And to boot, they are a lovely multicolored walk path all autumn. Which others may find lovely. Thinking outside the box. :cool:
 
Most people with a lawn rake their leaves to avoid the damage they cause to the grass. But whether or not she does, it's not really relevant to this thread.
 
Most people with a lawn rake their leaves to avoid the damage they cause to the grass. But whether or not she does, it's not really relevant to this thread.
It depends... were the leaves burned.... If not, you may be correct. But if so, would not that negate her complaint about smoke? And then be on topic? I will let the OP let us know the facts as I do not know them. :)

Extreme off topic side note : Grass -- this was said to be a forest, not a grass lawn. Grass does not grow much in real forests as the tree canopy does not let in much light so raking up leaves is a forest does not help grass. Opinions of grass lawns need not even come into play. Unless one is burning their leaves they raked up.... :cool:

But what it may indicate is the psychology of this person... Maybe someone who tries to control their total environment. And if so, that fact of the forest leaf raking might be indeed interesting, maybe relevant, information..... 🧐
 
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Most people with a lawn rake their leaves to avoid the damage they cause to the grass. But whether or not she does, it's not really relevant to this thread.
I have found that mulching my leaves with a mower a few times during the fall has lead to my yard becoming quite lush with no need for fertilizer. The trick is mulching though I agree don't always want to just leave them. Come spring time there is no sign of them. Its a heck of a lot easier than raking and hauling 3-4 trailers worth of leaves.
 
I asked her to keep it closed just this once and she said it isn’t an option. She MUST open her window every single time. She didn’t sound willing to compromise at her age. :(
Some people want to either be miserable or control other people, or both. This statement above shows how the relationship is going to go. She won’t live forever. Let her know each time you are about to light a fire. Done. No more you need to do. How about a BBQ? Why does she have her windows open in winter? She should get a fan.
 
... and now it's become a lawn and leaf thread. ;lol

I love that ionizer/filter that @mellow posted above. Very cool tech. Not sure I'd want to bother with one myself, just one more piece of kit to maintain, but it may be useful for those in the OP's situation.
 
Is your chimney already at the max height recommended for your neat-looking fireplace. If not, do you think maxing out the height could make it more likely for any smoke to blow over her house?
 
You have your own home and property. Like you literally own your own plot of the planet, and you own a building on that plot that your family lives in. You are the queen of your castle. This lady can't tell you what to do. Do with that information what you will.

Maybe ask her to reimburse you the $20k and pay for your heating bills from here on out. That might be a fair compromise. You have no obligation to ask all your neighbors their permission to burn wood in your own home; how ridiculous she'd even suggest it.
 
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... and now it's become a lawn and leaf thread. ;lol
Hey, gotta talk about something until OP comes back with a report! ;lol
You rather discuss, what, oil? ;) ::-)
 
You guys obviously don't live in a high end neighborhood like the OP does where most have a lawyer on retainer or have one in the family and probably have an HOA.

Telling an 80+ year old woman to pound whatever is harsh and not advisable in this situation. The OP's husband wanted to probably recreate childhood memories of burning wood but she wanted something that "looked good" in that gorgeous room and they came to this consensus. Neither of them had any idea it would create this mess. The older lady probably has breathing issues like COPD and if the fresh air intake is forcing wood smoke particulates into her home she has a reason to sound the alarm. If someone was doing this to your mother would you take an answer of the neighbor telling her to go pound something? That older lady has lost her husband and lives alone and probably already has enough issues going on that money can't solve (sounds like she isn't poor by any means).

The logical solution would be to either not use it or figure out a way that both parties can be happy when it is being used. How often is it really going to be used? I would guess on the weekends when the husband wants to sit by the fire and enjoy it.
 
You guys obviously don't live in a high end neighborhood like the OP does where most have a lawyer on retainer or have one in the family and probably have an HOA.

Telling an 80+ year old woman to pound whatever is harsh and not advisable in this situation. The OP's husband wanted to probably recreate childhood memories of burning wood but she wanted something that "looked good" in that gorgeous room and they came to this consensus. Neither of them had any idea it would create this mess. The older lady probably has breathing issues like COPD and if the fresh air intake is forcing wood smoke particulates into her home she has a reason to sound the alarm. If someone was doing this to your mother would you take an answer of the neighbor telling her to go pound something? That older lady has lost her husband and lives alone and probably already has enough issues going on that money can't solve (sounds like she isn't poor by any means).

The logical solution would be to either not use it or figure out a way that both parties can be happy when it is being used. How often is it really going to be used? I would guess on the weekends when the husband wants to sit by the fire and enjoy it.
As others have suggested, when you reach such a point of frailty that your only hope of healthy survival is trying to force the free world around you to accommodate your frailty, then it's time to find living accommodations that specialize themselves in meeting such needs.
 
You guys obviously don't live in a high end neighborhood like the OP does where most have a lawyer on retainer or have one in the family and probably have an HOA.

Telling an 80+ year old woman to pound whatever is harsh and not advisable in this situation. The OP's husband wanted to probably recreate childhood memories of burning wood but she wanted something that "looked good" in that gorgeous room and they came to this consensus. Neither of them had any idea it would create this mess. The older lady probably has breathing issues like COPD and if the fresh air intake is forcing wood smoke particulates into her home she has a reason to sound the alarm. If someone was doing this to your mother would you take an answer of the neighbor telling her to go pound something? That older lady has lost her husband and lives alone and probably already has enough issues going on that money can't solve (sounds like she isn't poor by any means).

The logical solution would be to either not use it or figure out a way that both parties can be happy when it is being used. How often is it really going to be used? I would guess on the weekends when the husband wants to sit by the fire and enjoy it.
Easy to say when it’s not your 20K going down the toilet.
 
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Easy to say when it’s not your 20K going down the toilet.
Easy to say when it's not your neighborhood. We don't know all of the details.

I've had a few mistakes costlier than $20k, and while no one loves them, they're not the end of anyone's world.

<-- hoping the OP gets back to us with resolution, as this plays out
 
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