Teenage relationships - what are they coming to?!

[TheBaron]

My kids, although young, only have very limited access to electronics. About 30 min of 'screen time' a day is what they get, if they want it. It is in an open area, and can consist of time on the computer or on an iPad. Email and other communications are never private, we keep our accounts open as well. Our family doesn't keep things secret. That's the way we have set it up all along and it seems to be working for now... crossing fingers.

 

[firefighterjake]

. . .. To compromise the nanny net, I purchased him a subscription to playboy. You should see him race home from the bus so he gets the mail before my elderly neighbor

I bet he only really reads it for the articles though.

 

[firefighterjake]

I'm still a bit old fashioned . . .

I have no idea of what our cell phone number is since my wife and I only use it for emergencies.

To date I have only sent out six text messages . . . and this was only within the past three weeks when some friends we were meeting in Puerto Rico texted us . . . until then I didn't even know I could send or receive text messages . . . and to tell the truth other than replying back to that friend I still have no idea on how to text anyone.

Ah, the corded phones . . . sitting in a nearby closet and talking on and on . . . while your dad or mom keeps insisting that they need to use the phone in a bit.

Playboy . . . I had to visit my Uncle and his stash in his workshop . . . it was always eye opening for me to visit him and his workshop as he had posters everywhere.

 

[Swedishchef]

I'd rather call and spend 2 mins talking then 20 mins trying to type enough to explain it. Same way I don't do email when I need more than a simple response. Can have it done in a few mins on phone instead of days through email.

But hey if it works for you then by all means. Just don't get mad if you text me and I never respond. hahaha!

Oh, when I had a home phone I had a few people text to that. Some computer voice said out loud what they wrote! Needless to say, I had no freaking clue what they meant. All them LOL my BFF, JKs, whatever the hells don't mean crap to me.

I understand Nate. But wether you like it or not the new generations won't be using phones the way you and I have in the past. I find myself texting friends and having near conversations with them while I am sitting on a bus, etc. Why not call? Daytime minutes won't allow me. Texting is unlimited. And I can speak with 5 people at the same time.

 

[katwillny]

my kids are 11 and 14, my daughter who is 14 is starting to discover and by discovered by boys and its driving my wife and I crazy. I having been a a teenage boy know how i was so I am terrified at the idea, my wife being the easy going person that she is, is more understanding that its all part of the growing experience. We have decided as a family that she is not to date until she is 16 and spoke to her about our expectations of her. We also are not naive and know how things are but at least we have clearly communicated our expectations and what and when we will allow. So we will see how much sticks. God help us all. Our son still thinks girls are gross but lately has been changing his tune of the fairer gender.

 

[Swedishchef]

my kids are 11 and 14, my daughter who is 14 is starting to discover and by discovered by boys and its driving my wife and I crazy. I having been a a teenage boy know how i was so I am terrified at the idea, my wife being the easy going person that she is, is more understanding that its all part of the growing experience. We have decided as a family that she is not to date until she is 16 and spoke to her about our expectations of her. We also are not naive and know how things are but at least we have clearly communicated our expectations and what and when we will allow. So we will see how much sticks. God help us all. Our son still thinks girls are gross but lately has been changing his tune of the fairer gender.

Phoooey..tough decision. I can not be easy have a daughter. However my concern is that if she doesn't date at 16 and ends up at University at 17-18, it can be a jungle out there for those who have not experienced relationships. Especially if she moves away from home.

 

[nate379]

Our son still thinks girls are gross but lately has been changing his tune of the fairer gender.

They aren't?

 

[katwillny]

They aren't?

LOL. Some are. lol.

 

[Beer Belly]

I understand Nate. But wether you like it or not the new generations won't be using phones the way you and I have in the past. I find myself texting friends and having near conversations with them while I am sitting on a bus, etc. Why not call? Daytime minutes won't allow me. Texting is unlimited. And I can speak with 5 people at the same time.

Texting also keeps others from "hearing" your conversation.....I blocked both Texting, and Internet from our phones.....they're phones, period

 

[Beer Belly]

I don't know how you guys do it. Our close friends have 2 daughters, 15 & 17, both beautiful young ladies, Blonde, athletic, cheerleaders, and also into JROTC. They have their moments, but the parents have brought them up right, and are extremely respectful and well mannered. These two are like my daughters, love 'em to death, and would do anything for them....and I have.....embarrassed myself a few times just to get a laugh out of them. Like I said, I don't know how you do it, boys everywhere, I've come close to having a few moments with one particular guy, then I would have dealt with his Dad for not teaching his boy how to respect a girl.....I get a little off course with certain things.

 

[tbuff]

What gets me is when going out to eat. And I'm young compared to many here at 27 but the generation my age and younger doesn't ever get off the phone. There will be 3-4 people at a table eating and never say a word to each other. Just play on their phones the whole time they are eating. Drives me nuts!

My son and nephews wrestle in a youth league and I grew up surrounded by the sport. It amazes me how much most of the kids are more interested in playing an ipad/iphone between matches instead of wrestling. Kids will actually go out on the mat, basically pin themselves and run off to continue their game of Angry Birds and the parent doesn't say a thing. My son isn't so lucky, him and I sit at mats edge and watch every match from 46lbs - heavyweight....

 

[swagler85]

My son and nephews wrestle in a youth league and I grew up surrounded by the sport. It amazes me how much most of the kids are more interested in playing an ipad/iphone between matches instead of wrestling. Kids will actually go out on the mat, basically pin themselves and run off to continue their game of Angry Birds and the parent doesn't say a thing. My son isn't so lucky, him and I sit at mats edge and watch every match from 46lbs - heavyweight....

That's good, I have young girls and we limit them to the amount of iPad and tv time. Those kids can sit all day and be completely oblivious to everything around them all day.

 

[Swedishchef]

I think it simply has to do with parenting. It is certainly "easier" to let your kid sit in front of an electronic device for hours on end than it is to spend time with them. But you're not doing anybody a favor by letting electronics babysit. Kids are a responsibility for life; not just when convenient.

I think that when it comes to electronics, everything in moderation! My 2.5 year old son plays with our (now his) Playbook. He goes on youtube and watched learning videos and can manhandle the entire thing himself now! However, 30 minutes a day and that's it. As I write this he is playing with tonkas behind me and has one hell of a babble story going on about roads and snow...

Andrew

 

[Mrs. Krabappel]

*sigh* Love your kids. Value your kids. All the rest comes out in the wash or it doesn't. What kids do today is not better or worse. It's just different, and if we don't understand it we feel threatened by it.

 

[Swedishchef]

*sigh* Love your kids. Value your kids. All the rest comes out in the wash or it doesn't. What kids do today is not better or worse. It's just different, and if we don't understand it we feel threatened by it.

So you don't think that due to the acceleration in technological advancement there is hyper-stimulation these days for our kids and less self-imagination/creativity in their younger ages? I don't think there were droves of young teenagers addicted to anything the way some kids are now addicted to electronics/video games/cell phones.

I can understand where you're coming from but the fact is the "world" is going faster and faster. If it "all comes out in the wash or it doesn't" why did you passcode your 13 year old's internet access?

 

[swagler85]

*sigh* Love your kids. Value your kids. All the rest comes out in the wash or it doesn't. What kids do today is not better or worse. It's just different, and if we don't understand it we feel threatened by it.

I completely disagree, A kid that sits in front of a TV all day has very little brain usage. they simply sit and absorb. Where a child reading a book is exorcising his brain, stimulating his imagination. To read a book the brain has to work to create the story, make the sounds and pictures come to life, with TV it absorbs and does nothing more. You are completely wrong on that.

 

[Swedishchef]

I completely disagree, A kid that sits in front of a TV all day has very little brain usage. they simply sit and absorb. Where a child reading a book is exorcising his brain, stimulating his imagination. To read a book the brain has to work to create the story, make the sounds and pictures come to life, with TV it absorbs and does nothing more. You are completely wrong on that.

Agreed 100%

 

[Mrs. Krabappel]

I'm just tired of you asking these questions just so you can showplace your parenting skills in light of other parents. I see kids who are highly plugged in who are also highly motivated and highly creative. I see kids who have no access to electronics who cannot follow simple directions. And everywhere in between. Because I have worked closely with well over 1000 kids, my observations are not simple anectodes. In fact, they learn much more from, for example, an interactive virtual field trip to Galapagos National Park than they do in the dusty old textbook. Part of it is what they are born with. Part of it is what they are exposed to by their parents.

Humans existed a long time before written word and many were creative and intelligent. We have left the age of literacy and are fully entrenched in the world of technology that wasn't available to us dinosaurs. We who were raised in the age of literacy cling to it as a measure of character depth, even though most folks raised on book learnin' hardly pick up a book as adults and embrace the tv. We might stem the flow of technology in our own individual children or students for a time, but they will leave us behind in a handful of years and turn around and teach us how to navigate the new world.

As for television versus a book, if both are presenting the same subject, for example a civil war battle, the television is more engaging and most kids will learn more from it. We 20th century folks highly value literacy so we place more value on the book, but our kids won't.

I was making broad observations about the world at large and not about my individual situation because that is anecdotal. Personally I prefer the old ways, though rely heavily on technology for my job and my schooling. It seems obvious to me why I would password protect, but I will explain it for you. I block access to violent or overly sexual content because it is not age (or human!) appropriate as I would with anything we have access to, technological or not. Of course I would expect all thoughtful parents to proceed with caution and with limits. This doesn't change the bigger picture of technological advancement. As you said, the word is going faster.

 

[BrotherBart]

I swear a guy walked out of a cave 5,000 years ago, shook his head and said "These kids today will never amount to anything.".

 

[Swedishchef]

I'm just tired of you asking these questions just so you can showplace your parenting skills in light of other parents. I see kids who are highly plugged in who are also highly motivated and highly creative. I see kids who have no access to electronics who cannot follow simple directions. And everywhere in between. Because I have worked closely with well over 1000 kids, my observations are not simple anectodes. In fact, they learn much more from, for example, an interactive virtual field trip to Galapagos National Park than they do in the dusty old textbook. Part of it is what they are born with. Part of it is what they are exposed to by their parents.

Humans existed a long time before written word and many were creative and intelligent. We have left the age of literacy and are fully entrenched in the world of technology that wasn't available to us dinosaurs. We who were raised in the age of literacy cling to it as a measure of character depth, even though most folks raised on book learnin' hardly pick up a book as adults and embrace the tv. We might stem the flow of technology in our own individual children or students for a time, but they will leave us behind in a handful of years and turn around and teach us how to navigate the new world.

As for television versus a book, if both are presenting the same subject, for example a civil war battle, the television is more engaging and most kids will learn more from it. We 20th century folks highly value literacy so we place more value on the book, but our kids won't.

I was making broad observations about the world at large and not about my individual situation because that is anecdotal. Personally I prefer the old ways, though rely heavily on technology for my job and my schooling. It seems obvious to me why I would password protect, but I will explain it for you. I block access to violent or overly sexual content because it is not age (or human!) appropriate as I would with anything we have access to, technological or not. Of course I would expect all thoughtful parents to proceed with caution and with limits. This doesn't change the bigger picture of technological advancement. As you said, the word is going faster.

I don't know why you have a chip on your shoulder. If you somehow find this thread tiresome, you are welcome to not leave comments. My OP was about a friend's daughter who sits on Facetime all night while sleeping with a guy on the other end who she's never met and lives 5000 KMs away. I am 32, very much into technology and it's advantages, and I found it weird. There was no intention to showcase my parenting skills as my kids are 2.5 years old and 5 months old. I would hardly say you parent a 5 month old, you simply provide them with the necessities of life and watch them start to learn and develop their personalities. I guess it is parenting but not to the extent of the 2 year old or a 15 year old.

I agree with what you said (except me trying to showoff my parenting skills). And every case must be judged individually. Most classrooms have smartboards, I had acetates and before that it was chalkboards.

Embrace technology but don't let kid abuse it.

 

[Mrs. Krabappel]

I swear a guy walked out of a cave 5,000 years ago, shook his head and said "These kids today will never amount to anything.".

And why the heck to they keep making marks on the rocks!

 

[Mrs. Krabappel]

I agree with what you said (except me trying to showoff my parenting skills).

maybe I was reading more into it. I'm very literate.

Chip on my shoulder?

Your threads
Parents today are remiss in raising their own kids. They farm them off to others.
Kids today are doing things I don't understand with technology. How can the parents be on board with that. All of these slacking parents with their electronic babysitters.

I am simply providing a different perspective. I believe I have the life experience to speak of this generation of kids and parents with some measure of accuracy.

As for my own parenting, I get thrown off every single day, dust myself off, and get back on to go for another spin around the pasture. The statistics are in my favor that my kid will thrive despite it all with maybe just a stint in therapy.

 

[Beer Belly]

Everybody is entitled to thier opinion, and may view things differently....especially if you are surrounded by kids of all ages all day long, versus a parent who deals with just thier kids, and thier friends.....so everybody take a moment, relax, and respect that someone may feel different on a given subject. Enjoy your day !

 

[Swedishchef]

Kids today are doing things I don't understand with technology. How can the parents be on board with that. All of these slacking parents with their electronic babysitters​

Is that really what this post came off as? I simply wanted question the idea ( and to see if it was a new norm) of keeping a phone on all night to "sleep" beside a person in an electronic fashion and "watch a movie" at the same time as them via Netflix was becoming the standard in teenage relationships. Especially when it is someone you met on twitter.

 

[firebroad]

If I understood half of what you are talking about (Facetime, IPhone, netflix, etc) I probably wouldn't approve. I had a hard enough time keeping my daughter off the telephone and chasing the riff-raff away.