When I mention delta-T=20, I mean the difference between the boiler supply temperature and the return from system after the Termovar. If the return after Termovar is 140, your boiler temperature should be 160 or higher (if it less than 160, then your flow rate may be higher than I think would be normal experience, if it is much greater than 160, then your flow rate may be lower that I think would be normal experience).
As return after Termovar rises, so should boiler output to maintain the delta-T=20 +/-. As return after Termovar rises above 160, I suggest gradually turning down the balancing valve to allow less boiler/return water circulation, and for the purpose of maintaining delta-t at least = 20. As boiler supply rises towards to about 185 or somewhat higher you should still be able to maintain delta-T=20, but as return rises above 165 or so you will likely will not be able to maintain delta-T=20, especially as return rises to 170 and above, and especially if boiler output is at the high end (lots of wood yet to burn).
This is where idling may start to occur, as boiler supply will be about 190. There are only two ways to prevent this of which I am aware. Either increase flow rate to increase the ability to move btu's, or let the fire burn down so boiler output is less. I use the second method, as by weighed wood burns the boiler has been loaded so that as tank temperature rises above 170F, the wood load is burning down, and the boiler kind of coasts downward, btu output falls, and tank temperature will continue to rise to about 190 (my normal target is 185 so I don't accidentally overshoot and idle).
Off hand I would not be too concerned that tank return temperature is higher than bottom of tank. It is very possible that the water temperature at the measuring point is different than the water temperature where it leaves the tank on the way to the boiler; in other words there may be a circulation loop in the boiler that is causing this. In my system the return from the tank fitting is 6" above the bottom of the tank, and especially as the tank nears full charge this temperature can be a good 10F or so above actual bottom of tank temperature. But with a horizontal cylinder tank like I have, there really is very little water in the bottom 6" of the tank, and when bottom of tank temperature actually rises it rises very fast. That very bottom of tank has little room to store btu's.
As you probably are aware, I have from time to time placed lots of sensors at various points and logged data. That has led to a pretty good understanding of actually what is happening, at least with my system. Good luck with yours, and don't be too disappointed if extreme high end performance may be a little less than you want. That extreme high end just doesn't amount to much, but it is exciting to achieve. I can achieve 192-193 top to bottom and no idling with very careful burning, but be assured that I am operating just shy of the idle point.