Oregon State gets $2.5M stove research grant (Blaze King a collaborator)

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Poindexter said:
Don't tempt me, please. My wife supports my pyromania hobby. Just in the last week I have combusted spruce, smokeless gunpowder, black powder, some bugs, some tread life off my tires with both the throttle and ABS system, hardwood lump charcoal and a bit of beef, with some more charcoal and some halibut on deck for tomorrow. Last week I burnt a creme brulee, two bridges, and 28 birthday candles for my youngest child.

I failed calc I twice, calc II once, organic chemistry once and intro to Fortran twice. I can do algebra, figure stuff out and build stuff that works. I am good at talking to scared people, cell biology and applied psych. I am not good at math and I SUCK at going to meetings, but I would like to name my own salary. Is there a position for which I might apply?

Besides $300k per year I want no overtime, good benefits, Rx drugs at cost and at least 6 weeks of annual vacation. And a company Ferrari. And a big office with a big window and no phone in it. And a unicorn that likes to eat my barbecue. And I want Jennifer Anniston to be my personal assistant. And a BK King in my office with unlimited fuel at 15% MC, and a big leather couch in dark brown that would cause Charles Prince of Wales to salivate with envy. A polar bear rug on the office floor between the wood stove and the couch. A valet that can make a killer daquiri, and the Coors light girl's volley ball team can rotate through my outer office as receptionists. I'll need a personal barrista with a bunch of piercings, and I want a tutor to teach me the Argentine dialect of the spanish language.

I believe you can easily ascertain my experience demonstrates I am a desirable candidate for your position and my salary + benefits needs are very reasonable given the value I can bring to your company.

I am all about carbon neutral. I have cut the carbon foot print of my home by something like 70-75% by burning wood instead of oil, but I still burn some oil. Between us the wife and I are still burning roughly 30 gallons of gasoline each week. The electricty we use is mostly fossil carbon generated.

I do conceed in some geographic areas it makes sense to import wood pellets and/or charcoal and let the pollution produced by production be released outside crowded metropolitan areas; but the gasses produced by making charcoal or wood pellets are still in the planet's atmosphere even if they aren't in downtown Salt Lake City.

If you live north of 45 degree north latitude, or south of 45 degrees south latitude, (broad brush) want to be warm, and want to be carbon neutral the options are wind, wood, solar, nuclear fission and maybe someday nuclear fusion. Maybe wave generated if you live near a beach. Or you can be cold, or you can move closer to the equator.

If my professional life continues to be chained to the faucet of the unlimited overtime I may buy some more sensors to see what is coming out of my chimney and see what I can do to move that needle. In the meantime I will focus on the problems I can fix. God bless those that can do calculus.

I will also need a boat, about 60 feet, no helipad required, with permanent moorings in Puerto Vallarta and Dominica, and tickets to the Monaco Gran Prix every year...
Click to expand...
Ok, I'll concede to everything (except the boat in Homer) with one condition. Your wife, whom I have had the distinct pleasure to meet, approves of the valleyball team. Very fun post to read....
 
Another brilliant idea for boosting efficiency & reducing emissions through improved 2ndary burn:
- Spec a 60 foot (or more!), highly insulated chimney to generate lots more draw.
- Design the 2ndary air feed holes akin to automobile fuel injectors. The enhanced draw can drive air through them. Lots of dispersion, small air "particles" resulting in improved mixing.
Increase the primary air flow resistance proportionately so the primary burn stays at the same rates.
- Alternatively, the enhanced draw can power through a cat with a smaller mesh size.
 
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