Calling family deadbeats is a little harsh. She is now living with the family is she not. I have a 100 year old father that wouldn't move out of his house in Queens. If we made it easy for him, he would still be there and my life would be a train wreck traveling back and forth an hour and 1/2 each way without traffic (like that ever happens). Sometimes things have to get difficult for some people for them to realize they need to move. My father would have stayed there as long as someone would have taken care of him there. There was, no one to take care of him there! Mine now lives with my brother in So. California. He only left because he had to, after a time in the hospital. Luckily we could get him on a plane. .
Met new neighbors
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My nearest neighbor is a long time neighbor. His family and my family have been neighbors for 115 years. Several generations. We still help when help is needed or sometimes even if it isn't.
He is the great grandson of the original owner, as am I.
Dennis - knowing your character, none of this surprises me.
He is the great grandson of the original owner, as am I.Dennis - knowing your character, none of this surprises me.
Right on, Jags! Most of my neighbors are family, the ones who aren't related are considered family ('cept for a few deadbeats). As Jags said, Dennis is the giving type of guy that ANY of us would love to have as a neighbor. I'm sure your new neighbors already realize what a great person you are Dennis, and I'm sure you'll have a long lasting good relationship with them......
Re-read what I initially replied to where it states "relatives lived very close"
I drove 45 minutes every weekend to help my grandparents with odds and ends for about 5 years until my Uncle moved in with them and was able to help. I also chose to stay in NJ close to family to make sure I am able to assist with anything they need help with. Obviously, if you live across the country you cannot conceivably help all of the time. But if someone lives very close to an aged family member and cannot help with at least the more strenuousness chores, they're deadbeats. Just my opinion.
Gasifier
Minister of Fire
I know some like this. Come from a large family. Parents are elderly and need help with things. One, or sometimes two, of all the siblings do all the helping while several others do none and live right in the area. Too bad. Their parents helped them for many, many years, and they can't seem to get off their _ _ _ to return the kindness. Always have time to do what they want to do though.
We only get about 1 snowfall a year that is really worth plowing the driveway (4+"). I plow out the whole neighborhood whether they ask me to or not...driveways and the road. We live on a dead end road with a large curvy hill...since there are only about 10 house and it doesn't support thru traffic it is usually 24 - 48 hours before the plow makes it through.
JP11
Minister of Fire
I've got a neighbor that I would help out. The last straw for me was that he NEVER said thanks.
All it would have taken was a 1 minute phone call, or heck, a post it note in the mailbox.
But when you ASK me to brush hog the field.. and i spend an hour of my time, tractor wear and tear, and diesel. Not so much as a thanks.
I used to cross the road to blow snow, scrape the drive, whatever needed done. After no acknowledgement... I gave up.
he's still better than the last guy at our old house. Called the cops when my wife mowed 3' onto his side of the property... just to square it off.
Some folks!
JP
All it would have taken was a 1 minute phone call, or heck, a post it note in the mailbox.
But when you ASK me to brush hog the field.. and i spend an hour of my time, tractor wear and tear, and diesel. Not so much as a thanks.
I used to cross the road to blow snow, scrape the drive, whatever needed done. After no acknowledgement... I gave up.
he's still better than the last guy at our old house. Called the cops when my wife mowed 3' onto his side of the property... just to square it off.
Some folks!
JP
I'm in a very similar situation. Our road is a township road, only around 10 houses on it and it's a dead end. Never gets touched during a snowstorm (usually 2 days AFTER a storm til they even remember we exist out here). So I plow the street and all of the neighbors out, if they haven't gotten around to doing their own driveways by the time I get to them. Most of them really appreciate it, but the deadbeats it's a different story......
Not scientific but my experience is that the closer your neighbors are to you physically - the less likely you are to getting to know them or actually become friends/neighbors. When I lived in a neighborhood I knew almost no one even though I made attempts to do just that. Out here in the sticks on a dead end private drive(private as in the county does not take care of it - not posh!!) It seams everyone gets along and helps out even though our houses are not all that close together. Well, almost everyone - There are a couple bad apples in the basket 
Ya know Bob, you might be on to something there. My nearest neighbor is about 1/2 mile away. I kinda like that.
Funny thing happened during this snow we had. We too live on a dead end road and only 2 of us on the road. It is a N/S road and the road that comes from the E ends at the N/S road, so that is considered the main road. But this time I was amazed that when I got out to plow our driveway, our road was plowed! We usually wait a few days for that to happen. But then I found that the E/W road had not been plowed. Not sure what happened there. But now we had some rain last night and it is a solid sheet of ice. Anyone care to go ice skating?
There are all types out there.... Saturday I was out snow blowing and shoveling us out from Nemo. While we didnt get hit too bad, 12" was plenty and made for some clean up work. After I finished up I went across the street to help out the neighbors who were struggling to shovel their drive way. I finished it off and all I got out of it was a look that said "why did it take you so long to come and help". On to the next drive way where the fellow there had started and gone back in side. I cleared up his drive way and he came out and was so happy and thanked me many times. Paying forward is a good thing regardless of the reaction.
Gasifier
Minister of Fire
Jags and Bob,
We may have to come up with a new saying about that. I live in the country as well. You know the old saying. Good fences make good neighbors. Right? Well maybe it is space that is really needed. Maybe great spaces make great neighbors. Or great 40 acre properties make great neighbors. I don't know.
Wouldn't that be cool if everyone in your "neighborhood" owned at least fourty acres and everyone's house was right in the middle of their property along the road.That just made me think of a writer I heard about on NPR once. Apparently he like to be alone with his work. This was where he got the most accomplished. He said something like. "I don't need the solitude of a hermit. I need the solitude of a dead man."
They were also talking about how many people do not reach anywhere near their potential because they have so many committments to other things. Significant others, children, jobs, homes to care for, etc. etc. etc.
Guess the Hatfields and Mccoys didn't have enough space?Jags and Bob,
We may have to come up with a new saying about that. I live in the country as well. You know the old saying. Good fences make good neighbors. Right? Well maybe it is space that is really needed. Maybe great spaces make great neighbors. Or great 40 acre properties make great neighbors. I don't know.
That just made me think of a writer I heard about on NPR once. Apparently he like to be alone with his work. This was where he got the most accomplished. He said something like. "I don't need the solitude of a hermit. I need the solitude of a dead man."
They were also talking about how many people do not reach anywhere near their potential because they have so many committments to other things. Significant others, children, jobs, homes to care for, etc. etc. etc.
oppirs
Member
Plowed half dozen laneways around here Fri/Sat after the big snow and was over on the farm cleaning the broken glass from the tractors front windshield that the dreaded limb took out 
Got back to the house and there was 24 cans of my favorite beer sitting on my woodpile? asked Mrs loon if she saw anyone outside? Nope? still dont know who it was but thought that was pretty cool
We have 3 dogs in the house and not one of them barked
The Roads Dept is a mile up Sav
But they hang a left when leaving the yard and we are always the last to get plowed?
loon
Got back to the house and there was 24 cans of my favorite beer sitting on my woodpile? asked Mrs loon if she saw anyone outside? Nope? still dont know who it was but thought that was pretty cool We have 3 dogs in the house and not one of them barked
The Roads Dept is a mile up Sav
But they hang a left when leaving the yard and we are always the last to get plowed?
loon
I like my neighbors . . . a lot. Did a quick few swipes with my plow on one neighbor's driveway as the snow from the plow truck passing by was a bit heavier than the drifts near her garage doors. Took me maybe 5-10 minutes and she was appreciative. . . .
In my own case, the neighbors all look after each other . . . in fact I'm asking one neighbor if he would mind pushing some snow back if we get a storm while we're gone . . . quite sure it will not be an issue as I loaned him my woodsplitter this past fall.
In my own case, the neighbors all look after each other . . . in fact I'm asking one neighbor if he would mind pushing some snow back if we get a storm while we're gone . . . quite sure it will not be an issue as I loaned him my woodsplitter this past fall.
Hopefully they didn't take a face cord of your wood for the beer!Plowed half dozen laneways around here Fri/Sat after the big snow and was over on the farm cleaning the broken glass from the tractors front windshield that the dreaded limb took out
We have 3 dogs in the house and not one of them barked
The Roads Dept is a mile up Sav
But they hang a left when leaving the yard and we are always the last to get plowed?
loon
It is that time of year that people are starting to get low in their stacks
Found out from my buddy across the road tonight that it was the fella that was stuck in his house with the kids
Also found out today that my insurance company is no help with the tractors windshields
Figures!loon
Not scientific but my experience is that the closer your neighbors are to you physically - the less likely you are to getting to know them or actually become friends/neighbors. When I lived in a neighborhood I knew almost no one even though I made attempts to do just that. Out here in the sticks on a dead end private drive(private as in the county does not take care of it - not posh!!) It seams everyone gets along and helps out even though our houses are not all that close together. Well, almost everyone - There are a couple bad apples in the basket
This is so true. My wife and I lived in a townhouse complex for 7 years and got to know all of one family somewhat well and another neighbor a little bit. We talked to a couple other neighbors once in a while in passing. We have lived in our new to us house for 2 years now and I spent 5 minutes at the mailbox on Monday talking to a husband/wife that lives right next door to us who gave us a bunch of vegetables this summer and treated our kids like a prince and princess for Halloween. Other neighbors see me in the yard and stop to talk. I would say we are on a first name basis already with 7 sets of neighbors. Every time I think about it, it just makes me feel so much better that we moved to this area of the state. With that said, thinking about moving to Richmond, Virginia because of the politics in this state, but if we stay in this state, we will be staying right here.
Jags and Bob,
We may have to come up with a new saying about that. I live in the country as well. You know the old saying. Good fences make good neighbors. Right? Well maybe it is space that is really needed. Maybe great spaces make great neighbors. Or great 40 acre properties make great neighbors. I don't know.
That just made me think of a writer I heard about on NPR once. Apparently he like to be alone with his work. This was where he got the most accomplished. He said something like. "I don't need the solitude of a hermit. I need the solitude of a dead man."
They were also talking about how many people do not reach anywhere near their potential because they have so many committments to other things. Significant others, children, jobs, homes to care for, etc. etc. etc.
Depends on how you define "potential". Is it max potential as a husband, as a father, as an attorney, as a CPA, as a wood burner, as a cyclist, as a hunter, as a fisherman, as a shooter, as a friend.... or as a person.
My mom has a saying on her fridge and it goes something like this "When I am dead, nobody will remember how much money I made or had, but my influence on a child will be remembered for quite a while." I will have to take a pic of it the next time I am over there. Wish I had read this thread before I went over there tonight to drop her off.
Potential can be measured in so many different ways.
Potential happiness. Amazing how many people are so far away from potential happiness. Read a sign on a church once. "Stress less by wanting less." I truly believe in that.
Here is another good one. "It isn't about the amount of money spent on a child, but the amount of time spent with a child." One of my brothers has bought my kids really, really nice presents year after year, but they all light up when my wife's sister visits because she visits often and she spends a ton of time with them. She lives 5 hours away and visits more often than my brothers and sisters. Three of my siblings live less than 30 minutes away, with one at 15 minutes, and the 4th siblings lives about 45 minutes away. I get frustrated with this sometimes.
Gasifier
Minister of Fire
I hear ya on this fabsroman. Most of the time if you look at someone who is the best at what they do at any of the things you mention, they have usually had to neglect or sacrifice some of the other things in order to become the best at what they do with that one thing. Weather it be your job, your hobby, friend, person, etc. It can be tough to become really good at one thing if you have so many committments to other people and things. I choose to be home for my family as much as possible. That is what I like to do. About seven months of the year I spend some time running 5 or 6 days a week to stay in shape. I get out and cut wood in the winter when the ground is frozen. I wish I had more time to do some other things I enjoy, but oh well. As long as the wife and kids have a good life, that is what I care about. Just helping my wife with the kids, taking care of my house and vehicles, c/s/s wood, and trying to get a work out in 5 times a week is enough to tire my ass out.
You know how it can get frustrating sometimes with so much going on? When you feel like you are being pulled in five directions at one time? That is when I sometimes think about which would be better. The solitude of a hermit or a dead man. - Status
