Thanks everyone! Several changes have made a huge difference, thanks to the awesome help I have gotten in these forums from all of you.
1) insulated the damper with 2 layers of R15 Owens Corning Thermafiber plus a baffle I made from heat duct sheet metal. Pics attached. (Aside, the room got down to 58F while I was doing this work with the stove cold).
2) put a heat-powered fan on top of the stove behind the surround, left a 1" gap behind surround for heat to escape when shoving the stove back into the firebox after insulating the damper.
3) covered windows and exterior french doors in this room with 2 mil plastic drop cloth, wrapped around 3/4"x1/4" trim molding and nailed into the edge of the casing.
4) insulated a few drafty areas along the baseboard in the room by laying Thermafiber insulation along the floor. Will need to tackle blow-in insulation in the spring.
5) Loading the stove with more wood, less often.
6) storing several days worth of wood in basement so I can burn warm wood instead of loading stove with cold wood straight from outside.
7) I have had a fan in the room opposite the stove but today I pointed it toward the ceiling instead of keeping it level.
Astonishingly with all of the above, this cold room cranked up to 73.5F tonight (12F outside). The entire first floor felt noticeably warmer, including the kitchen which is on the opposite corner of the house. Before all these changes I could only get this room to 73F if outside temps were 45F and above.
In the spring I will tackle the attachment of the liner to the stove collar. I'm not getting any smoke out of that connection, but it does look janky. Anyone have thoughts about an adjustable offset like this one?
This stainless steel, two-piece adaptor allows a liner to be offset to the rear of an insert outlet. Offset amount is 0" to 6". The adaptors top outlet rece
chimneylinerdepot.com
Again, thanks everyone for the input. This is a great forum. I had unrealistic expectations of the stove given the inefficiencies of my huge 110-year old house, but with your suggestions I am now comfortable!