Buying wood sucks!!

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If a person is selling much wood they are most likely selling it for a good chunk of their yearly income or supplemental.....at least around here. My father used to cut and sell wood and normally had around 40 cord of wood cut before fall every year. Now this was with a regular full time job mind you. Now if he was to cut and stack wood up for 2-3 years of average seasoning time for oak.....our predominant tree here......that would eat up a ton of space around the place if you catch my drift. Its just unrealistic for a wood seller to keep that kinda inventory. And on the "seasoned wood" definition.....we r not far from the days gone when smoke dragons were the norm and 6-9 month css wood burned well.
I was in a pinch a couple years ago and had to buy. Found a guy that just sold dead standing trees, bucked not split. Was ready for burning that fall.
 
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If you buy it, it’s ALWAYS wet!!

Yes, unfortunately I have always found that to be the case when buying from dealers. Once in awhile I was lucky to find someone on Craigslist that was looking to get rid of their firewood (moving, stopped burning, etc). Anyway, once I got my supply way ahead of schedule, I didn't need to buy "seasoned" wood anymore. I just season it myself.
 
I don’t buy firewood but if I had to I would do what some others are doing here. I would buy green logs and process and dry myself. That way I have control over my split sizes and lengths

That's what I did, although it was already split (which was a good thing). Buying green splits is cheaper and usually without any disappointment (provided that the wood is solid and clean).
 
Cord of green wood cost $300+ here in NH. Its sold as "seasoned". Usually been sitting for three months and 30% moisture.

I bought a grapple load for $75/cord and I've been bucking and splitting every day for two months after work.

It's an addiction. Just bought a truck so I can scrounge firewood.

where in NH are you? Who sold you the grapple?
 
Around here you can get tri-axle loads of tree length firewood for $130 a cord usually 8 cord minimum. I think I will probably get a load in a month or so for the next couple seasons. Cut, split and delivered is $250 for anything decent. My brother got a couple dump trailer loads of split "seasoned" firewood that had a lot of junk in it this year but he was pretty desperate. It seems like some people will throw a pinch of salt on a fresh split load and call it seasoned.
 
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I know the feeling about dealing with sub par wood sellers. When I first moved to WI, in my first house, I had to buy wood because the previous owners left no wood for me. There were 3 people I bought wood from. The first seller only sold oak, of course claimed it was seasoned. This was before I had my moisture meter so I took his word for it. And....it wasn't seasoned, or not as well as I would have liked. It's all I had to burn that winter. Luckily I didn't have problems with creosote as I had a VC Resolute Acclaim in that first house so to get decent heat from it I'd always burn it to where the stove top temp was over 600 degrees. Was not producing much gunk if any in my wood stove pipe. For the next winter, I found a guy selling mixed hardwoods. Much better stuff and was a good mix. I also located a guy who was selling cords of locust. I was on board with that and bought a cord to start. The locust guy had great firewood!! By then I had my moisture meter and fresh splits after being kept inside were always under 18%. For every winter thereafter till I moved I bought from the locust guy.

In 2016 I met my now wife and her family owns several different farms west of the Madison area. Pure wood cutting paradise :) 90% of what is now at my current house came from wood cut in 2016 to 2017.

Because hauling tons of wood every weekend in my Chevy Equinox is a bit much, I've tapped into several local tree companies here in Madison. This was January's wood delivery:

[Hearth.com] Buying wood sucks!!

I've also invested in a good metal detector since getting these log deliveries. If these are yard trees, they could have metal in them. Every split piece of wood gets scanned before it goes into the good wood bins.