Ashful
Minister of Fire
I went thru a two year period of the wife hating the wood stove(s). The problem was a combination of owning the wrong stove, and the amount of personal time and dedication it takes to get three years ahead when you're burning close to ten cords per year. Four years in, she's past that, and is now the first to ask when I'm going to light the stove when the outside temps drop.
I learned the key is to minimize her exposure to those annoyances. In my case, it meant not talking about stoves or firewood, and not going out to split wood while she was stuck in the house watching kids, even if that meant clandestinely taking days off work to split wood while she wasn't around. In your case, I guess it means ensuring you don't get smoke smell in the house while she's home, even if that translates to always burning at a higher than desired rate while she's home. You can experiment with your fixes, and subsequently turning it down lower, when she's not around. That is, if you don't want to kill the whole wood-burning thing for your family.
I learned the key is to minimize her exposure to those annoyances. In my case, it meant not talking about stoves or firewood, and not going out to split wood while she was stuck in the house watching kids, even if that meant clandestinely taking days off work to split wood while she wasn't around. In your case, I guess it means ensuring you don't get smoke smell in the house while she's home, even if that translates to always burning at a higher than desired rate while she's home. You can experiment with your fixes, and subsequently turning it down lower, when she's not around. That is, if you don't want to kill the whole wood-burning thing for your family.