Gems and nuggets from our own Brother Bart:
Im burning clean, Im a believer
I thought burning clean was only true in fairy tales
Meant for some other burner and not for me
My stove was out to get me
Thats the way it seemed
Smoking chimneys haunted all my dreams
Then I bought a new stove, now Im a believer
Not a trace of smoke in the sky
Im burning clean, Im a believer
I couldnt go back if I tried
I thought smoke was more or less a given thing
Seems the more I tried the more I got
Whats the use in tryin?
All you get is smoke
When I needed heat I got tar
Then I bought a new stove, now Im a believer
Not a trace of smoke in the sky
Im burning clean, Im a believer
I couldnt go back if I tried
(With no apologies whatsoever to The Monkees)
Stainless Wondering
Well is my stovepipe tarnished?
I have no way to tell
Its up at the top of that stainless stack
Where I cant see so well
It makes me suspicious baby
It looks suspicious
It looks suspicious and I dont know why
(Apologies to Elvis and Heartbreak Hotel)
Painted Black
I see a red stove and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the Summits burn dressed in their amber clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of stoves and theyre all painted black
With kindling and splits both never to come back
Like a newbie burner it just happens every day
I look inside my stove and see its heart is black
I see that red stove and its been painted black
Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy firing up when your whole stove aint black
No more will my red Summit turn a deeper hue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I load tight enough into the setting sun
My stove will burn for me till mornin comes
I see a red stove and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the Summits burn dressed in their amber clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
Hmm,hmm,hmm,
I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!
(With apologies to Mick, Keef and the boys)
Painted Black part 2
contributed by myzamboni
I see a blue pipe and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and theyre all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see
People turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens evry day
I look inside myself and see my hearth is black
I see my blue pipe and it has been painted black
Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin up when your whole stove is black
(apologies to the Stones)
THE ANSWER IS BLOWIN IN THE END (With no apologies whatsoever to Bob Dylan)
How many years must firewood dry
Before it is ready burn
Yes, n, how many months must white oak lay
Before it reaches its turn
Yes, n how many days must Elm splits bask
Before they are up to the task
The answer, my friend, is blowin in the end
The answer is blowin in the end.
Ode to Alderlea
guest contribution by Begreen
I should have known youd be hotter than hell
Theres a lesson to be learned from this and I learned it very well
Now I know youre not the only big stove in the store
If I never hear your name again, its a steel stove at the core
And I think its gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin sun is shinin like a red Summit stove
You never cared for a combustor inside
For you Im just an ornament, somethin for your pride
Always burnin, never carin, thats the life you live
Smokey minutes of your time were all you had to give
And I think its gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin sun is shinin like a red Summit stove
Oh, oh, oh
I think its gonna be all right
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin sun is shinin like a red Summit stove
(with profuse apologies to the Cyrkle, Paul Simon and Bruce Woodley)
Heat Me Jotul
Well since I put you in Ive been out stackin in the shed
I tell folks Im so happy
Happy that you aint red
Blue/black Jotul you look so fine
And heat the house in so little time
Ya gotta heat me Jotul
Heat till April one more time
Heat me Jotul.
Heat, heat me Jotul
We thought about VC
But had some questions about the ash pan
Then we saw a PE Summit
And that really upset our plan
Well, Jotul you caught my eye
And hearth.com gave the reasons why
That you could heat me Jotul
Heat till April one more time
Heat me Jotul
Heat, heat me Jotul
- The Beech Boys
Its the big red Summit headed for Arizona
The big red Summit headed for Arizona
(Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
Aint burnin yet but the PHD says its gonna
(Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
And stacked in the racks by the big garage
Is a pile of pine bigger than the local Elks lodge
And everybody says that theres nothin funny
About those stoves you can buy with Candian Tire Money
They burn real clean and they burn real hot
And they arent really polished with wild Moose snot.
Its the big red Summit headed for Arizona
Took Hunky months but he finally chose her
(Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
If the latch aint crooked hell be able to closeer
(Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
Well, hes gonna light a fire now sooner or later
If he ever figures out just how to uncrateer
- Jan and Dean Hearth Unlimited
Holtz Hausen
Come listen to my story bout a man named Jed
Poor mountaineer hardly kept his family fed
Then one day he was chopping up some wood
When up to his block
Walked some snotty Canuck dude
Slick feller. Tasseled loafers. Ascot.
Well the next thing you know old Jeds installed forced air
Kin folks said Jed its freezing cold in there
They said renewable heat is where you oughta be
So he dusted off the saw and went lookin for a tree
Bore cut. Hand split. Stacked in a Holtz Hausen.
Come listen to my story bout a man named Jed
Poor mountaineer hardly kept his family fed
Then one day he was chopping up some wood
When up to his block
Walked some snotty Canuck dude
Slick feller. Tasseled loafers. Ascot.
Well the next thing you know old Jeds installed forced air
Kin folks said Jed its freezing cold in there
They said renewable heat is where you oughta be
So he dusted off the saw and went lookin for a tree
Bore cut. Hand split. Stacked in a Holtz Hausen.
Home heating king With no apologies whatsoever to The Monkeys
Oh, I hide neath sheet
And hear the furnace start to heat
And wish the six oclock alarm would never ring
Whoops its ringing and I rise
Wipe the frost out of my eyes
My shaving razors cold and it stings
Stoke up that mean machine
Oh, what it will mean
To a dry wood believer
And a home heating king
Stoke up that mean machine
Oh, what it will mean
To a dry wood believer
And a home heating king
Goodbye for the Summer
So we gotta say goodbye for the summer
But burners I promise you this
Ill be splitting wood
Every day in the summer
So that blasted oak wont hiss
Yes its gonna be a hot, sweaty summer
But Ill fill the emptiness
Ill be stacking wood
Every day in the summer
So two years from now that oak wont hiss.
(Sorry about that Bobby Vinton)
Old black stoves
I dont want your lonely mansion with a steel stove in every room
All I wants a blue/black Jotul, that heats a room up soon
But you think I should be happy with your steel stove and your name
And hide myself in sorrow while you play that heating game
Old black stoves and burning green wood cannot heat this hide of mine
And I dare not drown my sorrow, in the warm glow of your wine
You cant buy my love with a Napoleon because I never was that kind
Old black stoves and burning green wood cannot heat this hide of mine
Old black stoves and burning green wood cannot heat, this hide of mine;Brother_Barts_Classic_Hearthsongs
