YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK WOODCUTTER WHEN:
. You find yourself with a bad case of red eye in both eyes from the fungus in the saw dust of the wood that you are cutting to size to fit into the stove.
> You close your eyes and spray them with tolnaftate anti fungal spray powder and it works! The red eye is gone the next day! (don't forget to close your eyes & hold your breath before spraying).
> You go into a deli to get a ham & cheese & the guy next to you at the counter tells you that your eyes have white powder around them from the sheet rock compound that he thinks you were sanding
and you tell him that its really tolnaftate spray powder to cure the red eye from the saw dust.
.> you get the same red eye problem when you opperate the log splitter and use the same cure.
neighbors drop off their old wood pallets in your yard without being asked because they know you will break them up and burn them before the week is out.
your on a first name basis with all the local cops because once a month they drop by when your chimney is smoking too much. (the other 29 days ,the chimney is ok, no smoke)
you learned, by experience, that a really hot fire with really dry & long cured wood don't smoke.
and you know , by experience, what your chimney can take. (my chimney was originally designed to withstand a coal fired central heat furnace) and I wish that coal fired central hot water furnace was still in place, but it was removed before I was born because, back then, fuel oil was 20 cents a gallon, not $3.00 a gallon
. you have become an expert at sharpening & tensioning the chain on your chain saw, even though you never wanted to learn it.
. you know that the funny whine from your log splitter means it is down half a quart on hydralic fluid.
. you know that you can use dextron 2 or 3,automatic transmission fluid or sae 10w instead of hyrdalic fluid
in your log splitter. ( but check your owners manuel because your splitter could be different than mine).
You know just how many wood pallets that you can fit into the back of a honda civic dx hatchback
if you cut the pallets in half lengthwise with a chain saw before you put them into the honda.
answer is 5 pallets.
You know 4 different ways to break apart wood pallets, 1. chain saw, 2 circular saw, sledge hammer, 6 ft long pry bar & fulcrum.
You know the easy way to work a sledge hammer.
(lift it up over your head and just let gravity drop it on the pallet. sometimes you have to use the 10 lb , 20 lb or 30 lb sledge hammer instead of the 6 lb sledgehammer on the more sturdy built pallets.)
You know that the sledgehammer works best with the least break downs for maintainance when
constantly breaking up wood pallets for firewood.
(the chain saw you are constantly tighting the chain & sharpening the teeth.) The sledgehammer ,you just wrap a lot of DUCT TAPE around the handle to prevent splintering of the handle when you miss and to give you a good grip on the smooth wood handle.
You learn that it is better to keep your fire wood in a wood shed that to cover it with a tarp.
The tarps always blow off & shreds in the wind unelse you put more wood on top of the tarp to hold it down than wood that is under the tarp, trying to stay dry. (at least,it seems that way)
You know 5 different ways to remove bark & wood slivers from the tracks that guide the hydralic
ram of the log splitter.
You don't have to worry about the gasoline in the log splitter going stale and clogging up the carburator,like it does to your snow blower every year, because the gas in the log splitter is never there for more than 2 weeks.
You have 4 woodsheds and not enough room for all your firewood.
you spend $1000.oo a year for fuel oil(less than 2 tanks full) to heat a house that would normally use $6000 to $8,000.oo a year in fuel oil to heat.
You bought 1 ton of wood pellets for your pellet stove two years ago & you still have 3/4 ton left!
You like your house warm, so..... the wood stove burns 24/7 and the pellet stove is only used in may and sept , when its still warm enough out so that the pellet stove can actually make a difference.
(this depends on the size of your house & how well it is insulated & if you live north or south) I live north in a 10 room house with no insulation, so the pellet stove is too small to do much, while the wood stove is huge.
. You find yourself with a bad case of red eye in both eyes from the fungus in the saw dust of the wood that you are cutting to size to fit into the stove.
> You close your eyes and spray them with tolnaftate anti fungal spray powder and it works! The red eye is gone the next day! (don't forget to close your eyes & hold your breath before spraying).
> You go into a deli to get a ham & cheese & the guy next to you at the counter tells you that your eyes have white powder around them from the sheet rock compound that he thinks you were sanding
and you tell him that its really tolnaftate spray powder to cure the red eye from the saw dust.
.> you get the same red eye problem when you opperate the log splitter and use the same cure.
neighbors drop off their old wood pallets in your yard without being asked because they know you will break them up and burn them before the week is out.
your on a first name basis with all the local cops because once a month they drop by when your chimney is smoking too much. (the other 29 days ,the chimney is ok, no smoke)
you learned, by experience, that a really hot fire with really dry & long cured wood don't smoke.
and you know , by experience, what your chimney can take. (my chimney was originally designed to withstand a coal fired central heat furnace) and I wish that coal fired central hot water furnace was still in place, but it was removed before I was born because, back then, fuel oil was 20 cents a gallon, not $3.00 a gallon
. you have become an expert at sharpening & tensioning the chain on your chain saw, even though you never wanted to learn it.
. you know that the funny whine from your log splitter means it is down half a quart on hydralic fluid.
. you know that you can use dextron 2 or 3,automatic transmission fluid or sae 10w instead of hyrdalic fluid
in your log splitter. ( but check your owners manuel because your splitter could be different than mine).
You know just how many wood pallets that you can fit into the back of a honda civic dx hatchback
if you cut the pallets in half lengthwise with a chain saw before you put them into the honda.
answer is 5 pallets.
You know 4 different ways to break apart wood pallets, 1. chain saw, 2 circular saw, sledge hammer, 6 ft long pry bar & fulcrum.
You know the easy way to work a sledge hammer.
(lift it up over your head and just let gravity drop it on the pallet. sometimes you have to use the 10 lb , 20 lb or 30 lb sledge hammer instead of the 6 lb sledgehammer on the more sturdy built pallets.)
You know that the sledgehammer works best with the least break downs for maintainance when
constantly breaking up wood pallets for firewood.
(the chain saw you are constantly tighting the chain & sharpening the teeth.) The sledgehammer ,you just wrap a lot of DUCT TAPE around the handle to prevent splintering of the handle when you miss and to give you a good grip on the smooth wood handle.
You learn that it is better to keep your fire wood in a wood shed that to cover it with a tarp.
The tarps always blow off & shreds in the wind unelse you put more wood on top of the tarp to hold it down than wood that is under the tarp, trying to stay dry. (at least,it seems that way)
You know 5 different ways to remove bark & wood slivers from the tracks that guide the hydralic
ram of the log splitter.
You don't have to worry about the gasoline in the log splitter going stale and clogging up the carburator,like it does to your snow blower every year, because the gas in the log splitter is never there for more than 2 weeks.
You have 4 woodsheds and not enough room for all your firewood.
you spend $1000.oo a year for fuel oil(less than 2 tanks full) to heat a house that would normally use $6000 to $8,000.oo a year in fuel oil to heat.
You bought 1 ton of wood pellets for your pellet stove two years ago & you still have 3/4 ton left!
You like your house warm, so..... the wood stove burns 24/7 and the pellet stove is only used in may and sept , when its still warm enough out so that the pellet stove can actually make a difference.
(this depends on the size of your house & how well it is insulated & if you live north or south) I live north in a 10 room house with no insulation, so the pellet stove is too small to do much, while the wood stove is huge.
![[Hearth.com] You know your a redneck woodcutter when](/talk/data/attachments/26/26981-27a98557d1c60e5faede97ce43e07ded.jpg?hash=18aPZ2Ny77)
