Wood burglar caught red-handed!

[PDXpyro]

OK, I have a pretty good and relatively long story about firewood filching. We live at the end of a dead-end road, and the house next door is rented out on a daily basis as vacation lodgings, sleeping about 10-12 people. We never know who might be there from week to week and now refer to the renters as "The Randoms," as in "The Randoms just arrived for the weekend."

Couple weeks ago, I had a 2-cord load of black locust rounds dumped in our yard, in full view of the Randoms' front door. Been gradually splitting and moving it into stacks, and I was about 75% done with the job when the latest Randoms showed up last Thursday... on Friday night, I noticed that they had a bonfire going in the riverside fire pit, and that the resulting smoke smelled remarkably like... Black Locust.

This latest party was typical: a group of dudes from a neighboring state, in town for a wedding, and in full bachelor-party mode. When they left the house on Saturday, I strolled over to the pit and found incriminating evidence: black locust splits, still smouldering. It seemed highly unlikely that these party-dudes had brought BL with them or had purchased it locally, so this was almost certainly our wood fueling the festivities.

I told my wife about the situation -- which is not the first similar incident, since I have a couple of seasoning stacks in full view of the Randoms. We decided not to call their landlady and complain since it would be more satisfying to actually catch them in the act for once!

So-- on Saturday night we attended a concert, returning home about dusk. The Randoms were nowhere to be seen, with no cars parked outside. An hour or so later they arrived, and I observed action in their yard, with signs of a fire being kindled. Shortly thereafter, it seemed like an appropriate moment to survey our grounds, so I slipped quietly out the door and approached the firewood staging area. Sure enough, out of the darkness there appeared a dude laden with a freshly filched armload of our wood!

When he saw me, his immediate response was to say "Oh hey, can we buy some firewood?" I'm not a trigger-happy type and prefer to keep such encounters as non-confrontational as possible, so I replied, "You want to buy some firewood, huh?" He immediately started apologizing and spouting excuses --"We're here for a wedding and have been pretty drunk" -- and offered "twenty or forty dollars" for a night's worth of wood. I then pointed out that the wood he was stealing was green and not truly fit for burning, and that if he wanted some *proper* wood we could come to an arrangement, suggesting that he return with payment in a minute or two. When he did so, I led him to a seasoned pile and loaded a recycling bin with some prime splits, and we carried those over to the pit area and dumped them.

He said "I really appreciate this, how much do I owe you?" He then added that it would be nice if I didn't bring this incident to the attention of the landlady... I said that since he'd offered "20 or 40 dollars" for a load we could split the difference and call it $30.00. He handed me $40.00 and repeated that it would be really nice if the landlady didn't hear about this, and I said "Dude, you don't have to bribe me but can give me as much money as you want; I just want to keep this aboveboard. " He then gave me another twenty bucks and asked for assurance that we were *cool* on the deal and wouldn't involve the landlady.

I said that it was OK and my only request was that the next time he was in a similar situation it would be wise to ask first before raiding a woodpile, since there are plenty of guys around who might be considerably more aggressive in protecting their stashes than I was. He agreed, and that ended the encounter.

I related all of this to my wife this morning, and we both gloated and laughed over the satisfaction of finally catching one of these pilferers red-handed. I'm not in the wood-selling business, but sixty bucks for a recycling bin of prime wood (plus a relatively negligible amount of green stolen the night before) works for me. If I'd pressed harder he would have given me more money; he still had another twenty in hand when we settled.

All in all, made for an interesting weekend in this burner's life! I'll call the landlady in another week or two and complain (again) about her clients' habit of raiding our woodpiles, but will refrain from specifically incriminating this particular bunch.

So, am I too reasonable?

 

[blades]

Nice job, No escalation on your part. It helps considerably when the other party involved is not a scumbag.

 

[bigbarf48]

Good job, thieves are the worst. But at least you made some good money in the end! Around here 60 bucks would've bought him a truckload of wood

 

[KB007]

Not sure I would have done it quite that way. 1) you never know what scumbag is gonna show up and what he/she might have stuffed in the back of their pants. 2) You're lucky it was more important not to get reported to the landlord, as others might go back, stew for a while on losing 60 bucks, get more and ,more drunk, then come back for a little "payback".

Once I caught him, I'd probably give him the wood and tell him next time I won't be quite so nice about it. I would have also made sure someone had a video camera (or security system camera) running the whole time and if I was really trying to catch them I'd prolly have some form of self defense out of sight but close by (nice 12 ga pump would do the trick - just in case).

It's scary how many people no longer value human life - people have died for much less - be careful.

Motion sensor lights and/or a fence would help. If you can't put up a fence, try putting in a pond or some other garden structure where the thieves have to walk to dissuade them. Even a shallow ditch to help sprain ankles.

 

[HybridFyre]

Not sure I would have done it quite that way. 1) you never know what scumbag is gonna show up and what he/she might have stuffed in the back of their pants. 2) You're lucky it was more important not to get reported to the landlord, as others might go back, stew for a while on losing 60 bucks, get more and ,more drunk, then come back for a little "payback".

Once I caught him, I'd probably give him the wood and tell him next time I won't be quite so nice about it. I would have also made sure someone had a video camera (or security system camera) running the whole time and if I was really trying to catch them I'd prolly have some form of self defense out of sight but close by (nice 12 ga pump would do the trick - just in case).

It's scary how many people no longer value human life - people have died for much less - be careful.

Motion sensor lights and/or a fence would help. If you can't put up a fence, try putting in a pond or some other garden structure where the thieves have to walk to dissuade them. Even a shallow ditch to help sprain ankles.

Motion sensor lights aren't a bad idea. You can get a decent set of 60 LED solar ones for around $35 from harbor freight. Less if you have a coupon. I've set up two on remote parts of my land where I needed lights and had no electricity. It's not blinding but definitely bright enough that you'd notice it from your place and the 'randoms' would probably scatter.

 

[Jags]

Ya know...I was young once, I never took anybody's firewood, but I do remember doing a stupid thing once or twice.
I think you ended up a winner, OP. Escalating the theft of a few splits of firewood to a gun confrontation seems a bit - well - excessive. Lets keep this thread from turning into the wild west.

 

[brenndatomu]

Well played.
$60 probably would have bought them a "chord of mixed seasoned hardwood" on CL...

 

[Lumber-Jack]

Hmmm, I think I would start going back every week with another nights worth of wood and a promise not to tell his landlord and collect another $60.

 

[fabsroman]

To avoid this sort of thing in the future, which seems like it will be ongoing with the Randoms, I would have a sign out there "Wood stacks under video surveillance from within house and various locations on property. However, wood can be bought for $20 per recycling bin. Please knock on my door or leave the cash in the jar below."

I would sell wood for $20 per recycling bin all day long. People are on vacation and want to have a good time, and they are willing to pay a premium for that good time. However, I would not be supplying them with black locust for a fire pit, that much is for sure.

 

[Soundchasm]

I think you better get a look at the rental agreement. It probably says "firewood available for an additional $100 dollars". No wonder he didn't want you to tell the landlord! He still thinks he got a bargain.

 

[Frank625]

I would put up a motion sensor light and have a talk with the landlord anyway. Maybe not mention that particular group but make sure the landlord puts up a sign or two at the house about not taking firewood. Selling them wood is a good alternative as well.

 

[Jutt77]

OK, I have a pretty good and relatively long story about firewood filching.

So, am I too reasonable?

Nah, well done. Those guys won't steal your wood anymore and since everyone was cool, there shouldn't be any future hostilities. I certainly wouldn't want anyone stealing my wood but I've been on the drunken stupidity side of things more than once too

 

[firefighterjake]

One of the best stories ever . . . seems like we always hear about wood thieves, but never hear about anyone catching the thieves.

To add . . . handled very well in my opinion . . . win-win for everyone.

In the future . . . motion sensor lights, talking to the land lady and perhaps seeing about selling some seasoned camp wood might help give you a little extra play money.

 

[Rossco]

It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.

They would have taken the lot over a period of time, if given the chance.

 

[red oak]

Well played OP. If only I could sell wood at that rate!

 

[osagebow]

I'm with fabsroman. Quick route to a chainsaw upgrade. Great profile pic, BTW!

 

[PDXpyro]

Just a quick follow-up on that story: I grew up in Alaska, and in my mid-late teens we had a party shack with a primitive fuel-oil fired stove for heat. On more than one occasion, my partners in juvenile crime and I would stealthily siphon fuel from various sources, ranging from governmental to residential, in order to warm a weekend's partying. So, since I survived such shenanigans un-arrested and unshot, I do have some sympathy for similar youthful follies.

 

[HDRock]

You did good
Sell them your uglies and chunks for 20 bucks a bin

 

[Got Wood]

How about selling a cord (or some amount) of uglies/shorties to the land lord and keep it stacked in her property for her tenants use?

 

[PDXpyro]

I offered to split a purchased cord with the landlady, and even volunteered to stack her portion. She said that she doesn't want to buy party-bonfire wood for her clients and that it's their responsibility to obtain their own wood... considering that that house rents for between $250.00 and $400-plus a night, depending on season and days of the week, I think that's kinda cheap, especially since a cord would probably last a couple of years or longer over there. And the whole "responsible for their own wood" concept hasn't been working out too well, as I described!

At this point I'm thinking about offering to directly administer the firewood for her: I'd put a couple of full bins over there under the deck near the pit, with a sign saying that the wood is $25 or whatever per bin, and also provide a box for honor-system payment. I'm sure that the majority of people would pay up, and it'd be easy to monitor anyway. If clients abscond without paying for wood, she does hold a deposit and would be willing to dock them... I think. I haven't been eager to get into the wood-selling biz, but the profit margin on small amounts like that would be worth my while-- and a lot less hassle and stress than having to guard my stacks with vicious dogs, alarm systems, motion-detecting lights and heavy artillery!

It wouldn't amount to much wood relative to what I already process annually, and I'm certainly far enough ahead now to swing it. Just about convinced that this is the answer, so I'll email her with a proposal soon.

 

[BrotherBart]

In Lubbock, Texas when me and four other guys hosted the party house we would ride down alleys in the back of a pickup and filch a split or two off of the top of the stacks everybody put up against the back fences as we worked our way down the alley. In a rich neighborhood you could score a whole party's worth of wood in a couple of blocks.

 

[Treacherous]

Great story. It sounds like you might be able to make a few bucks along the way if you wanted to put out a sign for the Randoms.

(broken link removed to http://www.smarthome.com/chamberlain-cwa2000-wireless-motion-alert-system.html)works fairly well up to 1/2 mile away if you want motion notification.

(broken image removed)

 

[area_man]

Being a former salesman, here is what I would do. Bundle up some wood however you like. I would price it at 150% the closest convenient offer. If there are bundles of wood at the local grocery store, that's probably your benchmark. It is very convenient to not have to get in your car and drive to the grocery store for more wood, especially after having a few. Loose wallets on vacation. Make a tiny little $5 bundle, a little $10 bundle, and a more substantial bundle for $40 and $75. Or, all for $100... and have yourselves a free six of Budweiser from the fridge around back. There might be dozens of eggs and packs of bacon in there as well... and a price tag and an empty soup can for the honor system. That could be great if you had a henhouse and could sell fresh backyard chicken eggs for the hipster price of $10/doz.

If they want more wood, roll out the next sets of bundles. It could be an easy couple hundred a month for a very small time investment.

Rather than docking their deposit for any unpaid-for wood, I would chalk it up to goodwill and figure out how to make it easier for them to pay. The less the landlady knows about your business the better. She has already basically said she doesn't want to get involved.

If they don't burn it all, repack it and sell it to the next Randoms.

 

[wardk]

Being a former salesman, here is what I would do. Bundle up some wood however you like. I would price it at 150% the closest convenient offer. If there are bundles of wood at the local grocery store, that's probably your benchmark. It is very convenient to not have to get in your car and drive to the grocery store for more wood, especially after having a few. Loose wallets on vacation. Make a tiny little $5 bundle, a little $10 bundle, and a more substantial bundle for $40 and $75. Or, all for $100... and have yourselves a free six of Budweiser from the fridge around back. There might be dozens of eggs and packs of bacon in there as well... and a price tag and an empty soup can for the honor system. That could be great if you had a henhouse and could sell fresh backyard chicken eggs for the hipster price of $10/doz.

If they want more wood, roll out the next sets of bundles. It could be an easy couple hundred a month for a very small time investment.

Rather than docking their deposit for any unpaid-for wood, I would chalk it up to goodwill and figure out how to make it easier for them to pay. The less the landlady knows about your business the better. She has already basically said she doesn't want to get involved.

If they don't burn it all, repack it and sell it to the next Randoms.

There is a company in a town near here that makes the grocery store bundles, 4 small splits shrink wrapped. I played golf with the owner this summer he said he sold 2million last year at $2.00 wholesale. Even taking into account the B.S. factor , it still sounded like a good business.