The first step to recovery is realizing you want a more efficient and cleaner burning woodstove . . . more heat + less wood burned multiplied by 2.5 times the number of times you find yourself staring at the fire through the large window and realizing that watching the fire burn is more relaxing and enjoyable than watching TV = wood burning nirvana.
On a serious note . . . what's not to like about burning with the new EPA woodstoves. As I mentioned . . . you tend to use less wood and get more heat . . . and you can feel good since you're burning cleaner . . . and yeah, there's a secret thrill that comes from an EPA burner when they can look around and see smoke coming out of all of their neighbor's homes . . . and yet your chimney only is emiting heat waves . . . it's like you're a secret agent spy ninja Captain Planet undercover wood burner.
Extra controls . . . nah . . . the cats have one extra lever . . . the secondary burn stoves still have the air control lever . . . most folks who can manage to eat their dinner and carry on a meaningful conversation with their spouse at the same time can master either type of stove . . . they're really not that hard to use providing that . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . you use seasoned wood . . . and by seasoned wood we mean wood that has been cut, split and stacked for a year or longer . . . or that is under 20% moisture as measured by a moisture meter. I would guess that 99% of the folks who come here with issues with blackened glass, not enough heat, wood that isn't catching on fire, etc. are using wood that they think is seasoned . . . when it is not.
Finicky stove . . . nah . . . unless you have the aforementioned unseasoned wood . . . running an EPA stove is different than the old smoldering wood beasts that devoured through wood like a fat kid eating mini Snickers the day after Halloween . . . as the venerable Brother Bart mentioned folks not used to seeing the flames or who are in the mindset that a smoldering fire is a good fire just need to be reducated . . . fortunately we are the Borg, I mean hearth.com . . . resistance is usless . . . you will be assimiilated . . . and learn to burn properly.
As to what works for you . . . after deciding you want a new stove you need to figure out what size stove you need . . . figure out your spacing needs . . . and then usually I recommend going one size larger. You can go too large and you can go too small . . . the trick is getting a stove that is sized correctly . . . the reason I suggest one size larger is a) for those days when it is wicked cold and you really need to pour out the heat without overfiring your stove and b) the manufacturers tend to come up with figures that are based on the perfect house in the perfect climate . . . they don't tend to account for the 1870s farmhouse with little insulation in the walls that is going through a typical Maine winter in Aroostook County.
After figuring out the size you have choices . . . cats or non-cats . . . there are pros and cons to both . . . at one time I would have been anti-cat . . . now I could go either way. You also may want to decide on steel vs. cast iron vs. soapstone . . . another big debate issue here . . . my take . . . they're all good, they all heat the home and the differences, while debatable in terms of heat, are small enough so that I would consider all of them and quite honestly go with what I could afford and what I think looks good.
Your final step . . . or one of the last steps . . . take a look at the stoves in the shops or on-line and see what you . . . and your wife . . . like the looks of in terms of how it looks and what features it has . . . for some folks having a top loader is a must have . . . or an ash pan . . . others say these items are a non-issue.
Good luck in your stove search.