In the beginning Craig created hearth.com.
And hearth.com was without form, and void; and darkness not to mention bitter cold was upon the face of the deep. And Craig was moved to alter hearth.com after having a few Sam Adams.
And Craig said, Let there be The Hearth Room: and there was The Hearth Room.
And Craig saw The Hearth Room, that it was good: and Craig divided the light from the darkness.
And Craig called the light "The Hearth Room", and the darkness he called "The Pellet Mill". And The Hearth Room and The Pellet Mill were the first sections.
And Craig said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of these wood burners, and let it divide the cord wood burners from the wood pellet burners.
And Craig made the firmament, and divided the wood burners.
And Craig called the firmament The Boiler Room. And this was all done in only the second day.
And Craig said, Let the gases under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the section called It's a Gas appear: and it was so.
And Craig called the section It's a Gas for those burning propane and natural gas; and Craig saw that it was good.
And Craig said, Let the earth bring forth Stihls, Husquvarnas, Dolmars, Craftsman and even Poulans: and it was so.
And the earth brought forth Stihls, Husquvarnas, Dolmars, Craftsman and even Poulans, and Craig saw that it was good.
And this was only on the third day . . . although Craig did take a break to go out sailing for a few hours.
And Craig said, Let there be hydraulic splitters which can split either horizontally or vertically to divide those who split the right way and split horizontally and those who split the wrong way and split vertically; and let them debate which is the best way to split:
And let them ponder if it is better to stand or sit on a milk crate while splitting: and it was so.
And Craig made two great splitters; the greater Speeco splitter to rule the east coast, and the lesser MTD splitter to rule the west coast: he made Fiskars also.
And Craig set these splitters upon the earth to bring relief to wood processors everywhere,
And to rule over the splitters, and to divide those still using mauls: and Craig saw that it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the fourth day . . . although Craig did make a pizza that night for dinner.
And Craig said, Let the earth bring forth many species of trees, including the elm which will frustrate those with malls forever and ever and pine which will cause many to wage a holy jihad against burning this tree in their stoves.
And Craig created great trees such as oak, sugar maple, osage, hickory and black locust: and Craig saw that it was good.
And Craig blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the woods and the forests, multiply in the earth.
And the evening and the morning were the fifth day . . . although Craig opted to have tuna noodle casserole on this evening.
And Craig said, Let us create a section where many may debate the pros and cons of their saws and splitters and call it "The Gear" and it was so after he spaketh.
And Craig made "The Perfect Picture" and "The Woodshed" as other sections for wood burning folks to learn and become educated.
And Craig said, Let us make moderators in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the forum and over those who would suggest that Magic Heaters are the best thing under the sun or that it is OK to use flammable fuels to light a fire in the woodstove.
So Craig created moderators in his own image, in the image of Craig created he him; male and female (but mostly male) created he them.
And Craig blessed them, and Craig said unto them, Be wise and cautious . . . act as a janitor rather than act as a principal . . . clean up the site, but do not be heavy handed, encourage questions and debate, but do not let those internet trolls among us destroy what is good and just . . . and if you see an ad saying how these pills will make you bigger and more desirable to women strike down those posts with a mighty vengeance.
And Craig said, Behold, I have given you every tool in my control . . . be wise and do not throw out members without just cause . . . even if they do not agree with your political viewpoints while posting in "The Ash Can."
And so Craig pressed the magic button and it happened that there were moderators.
And Craig saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
And on the seventh day, Craig rested . . . before packing for a trip to sunny Jamaica.
At least this is what I believe happened.