COLD WEATHER IN THE USA
60 above zero. Floridians turn the heat on. People in the Midwest plant gardens.
50 above zero. Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in the Midwest sunbathe.
40 above zero. Italian and English cars won't start. People in the Midwest drive with the windows down.
32 above zero. Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 above zero. Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats. People in the Midwest throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero. New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in the Midwest have the last cookout before it turns cold.
Zero. People in Miami die - or return to Cuba. Midwesterners close the windows.
10 below zero. Californians go to Mexico. People in the Midwest get out their Winter coats.
25 below zero. Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in the Midwest are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero. Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in the Midwest let their dogs sleep inside.
100 below zero. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in the Midwest (New England transplants) get frustrated because "the caah won't staaht, betta staaht a faah.".
275 below zero. All atomic motion stops. (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in the Midwest finally stop saying "cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below zero. Hell freezes over. No one in Michigan is surprised because it explains why the Cardinals beat the Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII.
60 above zero. Floridians turn the heat on. People in the Midwest plant gardens.
50 above zero. Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in the Midwest sunbathe.
40 above zero. Italian and English cars won't start. People in the Midwest drive with the windows down.
32 above zero. Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 above zero. Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats. People in the Midwest throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero. New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in the Midwest have the last cookout before it turns cold.
Zero. People in Miami die - or return to Cuba. Midwesterners close the windows.
10 below zero. Californians go to Mexico. People in the Midwest get out their Winter coats.
25 below zero. Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in the Midwest are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero. Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in the Midwest let their dogs sleep inside.
100 below zero. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in the Midwest (New England transplants) get frustrated because "the caah won't staaht, betta staaht a faah.".
275 below zero. All atomic motion stops. (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in the Midwest finally stop saying "cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below zero. Hell freezes over. No one in Michigan is surprised because it explains why the Cardinals beat the Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII.
