I live in the land of urbanite tourists and snowbirds.
While driving 5 hours to pick up my wife from the airport she was diverted to (don’t ask), I notices one of the many signs alongside the road offering firewood for sale. This one was offering Fresh Firewood. (!)
Got me thinking about the conversation I might have if I pulled in and played the tourist…
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Me: I noticed your sign on the road. Is fresh wood really better?
Seller: You betcha! Remember those wonderful smokey campfires you made when you were a kid? Well, for that, only the best and freshest firewood will do! Don’t fall for the scammers trying to pass off old dried out wood at a premium price! It hardly smokes at all and it burns off so quick, you’ll have to go back for more. That’s all part of the scam!
Me: Golly!
Seller: That’s right, and there’s more! Old dried out wood lights off with little more than a match and some kindling and then it could burn without any further help. That’s dangerous!! Our exclusive fresh firewood needs this here butane safety torch to light it with. Then, after a few minutes, you need to use the torch again to keep it going. This exclusive safety feature makes sure that your fire will never burn unattended, even if you pass out drunk next to it! Plus, if you buy our exclusive safety torch now, I’ll throw in a large bottle of fuel that has enough butane for at least 2 campfires!
Me: Wow! How much?
Seller: Well, it takes a lot of extra care and handling to keep this here wood its freshest, so normally I sell it for $10 a split. But for you, I’ll let it go for only $19.99 for 2 splits. And I’ll even throw in that large bottle of butane I mentioned earlier. Whadaya say?
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It was a long drive and I had to keep myself awake somehow…
While driving 5 hours to pick up my wife from the airport she was diverted to (don’t ask), I notices one of the many signs alongside the road offering firewood for sale. This one was offering Fresh Firewood. (!)
Got me thinking about the conversation I might have if I pulled in and played the tourist…
======
Me: I noticed your sign on the road. Is fresh wood really better?
Seller: You betcha! Remember those wonderful smokey campfires you made when you were a kid? Well, for that, only the best and freshest firewood will do! Don’t fall for the scammers trying to pass off old dried out wood at a premium price! It hardly smokes at all and it burns off so quick, you’ll have to go back for more. That’s all part of the scam!
Me: Golly!
Seller: That’s right, and there’s more! Old dried out wood lights off with little more than a match and some kindling and then it could burn without any further help. That’s dangerous!! Our exclusive fresh firewood needs this here butane safety torch to light it with. Then, after a few minutes, you need to use the torch again to keep it going. This exclusive safety feature makes sure that your fire will never burn unattended, even if you pass out drunk next to it! Plus, if you buy our exclusive safety torch now, I’ll throw in a large bottle of fuel that has enough butane for at least 2 campfires!
Me: Wow! How much?
Seller: Well, it takes a lot of extra care and handling to keep this here wood its freshest, so normally I sell it for $10 a split. But for you, I’ll let it go for only $19.99 for 2 splits. And I’ll even throw in that large bottle of butane I mentioned earlier. Whadaya say?
=============
It was a long drive and I had to keep myself awake somehow…
