Hearthlist Digest #391 - Tuesday, December 28, 1999
 
Stuck Santa
  by "Bill Kline" <[email protected]>
 

(back)
Subject: Stuck Santa
From: "Bill Kline" <[email protected]>
Date: Mon, 27 Dec 1999 22:48:05 -0500
 
 
 
[email protected] wrote:
>
> Hearthlist Digest #389 - Sunday, December 26, 1999
>
>   Chimney Abuse
>           by "Craig Issod" <[email protected]>
>
>
> On the Level 19/12/99 by Jeff Howell
>
> There's no way Santa is going to get down my chimney this Christmas.
> First he'd have to squeeze through one of the holes in the terracotta
> rain cowl, and then he'd find himself in a 150 mm diameter corrugated
> stainless steel flue liner. And if he managed to negotiate his way to
> the bottom of that then he'd have a fight on his hands with the
> baffle plates inside the wood-burning stove. Nope, it looks like book
> tokens again this year.
 
NOT TO WORRY!
 
It is perfectly obvious that Santa is MAGICAL!! Being magical, he
is able to negotiate screened chimney caps, 3 inch diameter
liners, 3x36 inch damper openings, woodstove baffles and doors,
and all other dangers. What's more remarkable is that he can do
every one of them in the same time zone the same hour, getting to
every house at midnight Christmas Eve. We are talking about some
SERIOUS MAGIC here.
 
We need to warn Non-Magical Human people, and especially kids,
not to try his tricks to get into someone's house. I have heard
of several corpses found behind dampers. Suppose you could get
down the chimney to the damper, and that the damper IS big enough
to get through, if you didn't start out headfirst, how will you
ever get the damper open?
-- 
Bill Kline
Chim Cheree Chimney Sweep
Greer, SC
Chimney Safety Institute of America Certified #257
Now in our Twenty-Second year
http://www.andoken.net/ChimCheree/