# Ugly contest



## Kevin* (Aug 27, 2013)

I was stacking wood and got some ugly pieces,  wondering who's got the ugliest peice.


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## TooColdHere (Aug 27, 2013)

I see a fish!


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## Woody Stover (Aug 27, 2013)

Yeah, some fish are ugly. 

This is gonna be a great thread.  I'll go out with the camera tomorrow....


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## TooColdHere (Aug 27, 2013)

Woody Stover said:


> Yeah, some fish are ugly.
> 
> This is gonna be a great thread.  I'll go out with the camera tomorrow....


 
I had a bunch today that I just couldn't look directly at.    Look halfway up the right edge.  See the bulbous eye and it looks like a mouth made by a hatchet?  Could actually be a cameleon...


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## HDRock (Aug 27, 2013)

That's pretty next to some  I have


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## Jacktheknife (Aug 27, 2013)

Damn, I thought I was going to win, but then I read this was about firewood.


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## Trooper (Aug 27, 2013)

Dang...I am not near my wood right now.  Man could I show you ugly!


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## blades (Aug 28, 2013)

Ugly, all I got to do is look in mirror. Now that is ugly.  twisted knarly wood is just more BTU's to love.


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## WeldrDave (Aug 28, 2013)

On this one after work, I got a couple beauties


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## ScotO (Aug 28, 2013)

Kevin* said:


> wondering who's got the ugliest peice.


Oh, boy........we could take this to all new levels here........
Are you talking about wood?


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## Woody Stover (Aug 28, 2013)

Scotty Overkill said:


> Oh, boy........we could take this to all new levels here........


The UHC (Uglies Hoarders Club?)


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## Woody Stover (Aug 28, 2013)

Scotty Overkill said:


> Are you talking about wood?


Are you trying to get somebody killed?!


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## ScotO (Aug 28, 2013)

Woody Stover said:


> Are you trying to get somebody killed?!


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## CMAG (Aug 28, 2013)

I will play (when I figure out posting picture)
+1 good thread here


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## firefighterjake (Aug 28, 2013)

Oh, oh . . . Jags has got to post his infamous elm picture!


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## firefighterjake (Aug 28, 2013)

Also, to be honest . . . that is one of the prettier pieces of "ugly" wood that I've seen . . . I'll try to remember to take some pics of the pine I was splitting up the other day.


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## Woody Stover (Aug 28, 2013)

_Surely I can do better than this, but Jags' will be hard to beat. I may have to find a Sweetgum out there, to even come close._
_This one is actually sorta cute...._


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## ScotO (Aug 28, 2013)

If I get a chance I'll dig through the side pile I have tonight or tomorrow.......but yes, it'll be hard to beat Jags' elm nightmare spaghetti pile!


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## Paulywalnut (Aug 28, 2013)

Scotty Overkill said:


> Oh, boy........we could take this to all new levels here........
> Are you talking about wood?


Firewood. You must specify in this instance.


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## Backwoods Savage (Aug 28, 2013)

Methinks Jags has the all time ugliest.


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## basod (Aug 28, 2013)

And to think I burned that Pecan crotch on the smoker this summer - it'd put Jag's elm to shame(if I had more tonnage anyways)
After stalling and jamming it ~6times on the hydros I gave up and "resized" it with the saw.


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## basod (Aug 28, 2013)

And are we judging hydro uglies or hand split uglies - won't be a fair


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## HDRock (Aug 28, 2013)

I guess I already burned the real ugly one in the fire pit


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## DexterDay (Aug 28, 2013)

That's pretty ugly...  

But, I heard if you burn pine? Your hair falls out? And you may go blind? LOL 

Will have to take a pic tomorrow. But I have a few.. Just a few though. And I try to hide those


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## Woody Stover (Aug 28, 2013)

HDRock said:


> I guess I already burned the real ugly one in the fire pit


Yeah, these have to be uglies that we have now. If Jags has burned the Nightmare Elm, he will have to come up with something else.


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## HDRock (Aug 28, 2013)

I just wonder what non burning people would think about us, and this thread


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## pyroholic (Aug 29, 2013)

I believe the Non-Burner's (SMH) think we are all nuts for many reasons,  not just our habit of posting pics of our "uglies"

My neighbors think the amount of time I spend playing with my wood is absurd.  Oh well, I've had plenty of more destructive hobbies/habits in my life.  This seems pretty tame to me.

Jeeze, so much innuendo.


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## ScotO (Aug 29, 2013)

pyroholic said:


> I believe the Non-Burner's (SMH) think we are all nuts for many reasons,  not just our habit of posting pics of our "uglies"
> 
> My neighbors think the amount of time I spend playing with my wood is absurd.  Oh well, I've had plenty of more destructive hobbies/habits in my life.  This seems pretty tame to me.
> 
> Jeeze, so much innuendo.



I had to laugh reading this because anytime we have a yard sale, all of the guys stare in awe at my woodstacks while the ladies peruse through the sale items........my stack has become a local landmark.......for the guys, anyway!


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## HDRock (Aug 29, 2013)

pyroholic said:


> I believe the Non-Burner's (SMH) think we are all nuts for many reasons, not just our habit of posting pics of our "uglies"
> 
> My neighbors think the amount of time I spend playing with my wood is absurd. Oh well, I've had plenty of more destructive hobbies/habits in my life. This seems pretty tame to me.
> 
> Jeeze, so much innuendo.


To be clear ,I don't care what they might think but ,I think It would be funny to see/here their reaction


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## oldspark (Aug 29, 2013)

In many parts of the country talking about "ugly wood" will get you arrested.


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## hobbyheater (Aug 29, 2013)

https://www.hearth.com/talk/threads/ugliest-tree-i-have-ever-split.76670/ 





Had to noodle many of the rounds. But it was fun !


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## WeldrDave (Aug 29, 2013)

HDRock said:


> I just wonder what non burning people would think about us, and this thread  ​


 They're not paying my bills, so I don't really give a S#IT


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## WeldrDave (Aug 29, 2013)

hobbyheater said:


> Had to noodle many of the rounds. But it was fun !​


 HH, thats some serious wood, I don't want to say that to loud around my wife


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## CMAG (Aug 30, 2013)

I said, I would play.


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## Jags (Aug 30, 2013)

I play rough:


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## WeldrDave (Aug 30, 2013)

Jags said:


> I play rough:​


 Dam Jags,, I got nothing  .......... Although that looks like my gum picture I was going to post


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## Jags (Aug 30, 2013)

More for your viewing pleasure:


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## CMAG (Aug 30, 2013)

I get allot of that,(Maple?) reminds me of pulled pork.
That one bad @ss spliter


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## Jags (Aug 30, 2013)

Elm.  The nastiest elm tree I have ever split.  Thanks for the kind words on the splitter.  Its a Jags custom.


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## blujacket (Aug 30, 2013)

Jags,  I wondered when you would post that pic.  That picture sums up my one time run in with Elm. I pass on it now. Not worth my time when Ash & Locust are so readily available.


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## Jags (Aug 30, 2013)

blujacket said:


> Jags, I wondered when you would post that pic.


 
I suspect that some of the long timers are getting tired of it.  I whip it out on request.  (more innuendo?)

Had some white oak a couple weeks ago that looked pretty close CMAG's post above.  Made them into stove chow, but should take some pics.  Fugly.  Nice thing about my splitter...if it don't split it, it will cut it.  If it doesn't cut it, it will CRUSH it.


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## hobbyheater (Aug 30, 2013)

Jags said:


> More for your viewing pleasure:


 
That is ugly!  When it's that dry, no need for kindling or paper!


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## Jags (Aug 30, 2013)

hobbyheater said:


> That is ugly!  When it's that dry, no need for kindling or paper!


The stuff lit up like it was soaked in lighter fluid.


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## CMAG (Aug 30, 2013)

Jags said:


> Elm. The nastiest elm tree I have ever split. Thanks for the kind words on the splitter. Its a Jags custom.


Elm, live and learn. A  friend told me it was maple and should split easy..


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## Jags (Aug 30, 2013)

CMAG said:


> Elm, live and learn. A friend told me it was maple and should split easy..


 
You need better friends.


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## CMAG (Aug 30, 2013)

Jags said:


> You need better friends.


He helped with the sawing and humping so can't complain to much
+1 makes good fire starter


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## WeldrDave (Aug 30, 2013)

Jags said:


> I suspect that some of the long timers are getting tired of it.


Na!


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## WeldrDave (Aug 30, 2013)

CMAG said:


> A friend told me it was maple and should split easy..


I hand split Maple all day! 2/3's of my wood piles, (plural) is/are maple, Lots of it down here.... CMAG, where you are, you may be getting gum like I get, "TRUST ME" sandy soil gum split's like Jags picture. You friend is right , maple will split easy, but not gum or elm


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## CMAG (Aug 30, 2013)

Dave USCG, I live on long Island, that load of wood came from the south shore about 1/2 mile from the water so I would say  sandy soil (and was thanks to Sandy)
Anyway free and it burns,  most of my stacks are red oak and need to season a few more years.
Thanks for the info.


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## Ashful (Aug 30, 2013)

Based on the thread title, I'm surprised I have not seen one ex-wife photo.

Which one of you is this?


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## hobbyheater (Aug 30, 2013)

Joful said:


> Which one of you is this?


 
Ugly Contest was posted in the "WOOD SHED" and you likely did not get much of an education there with your Father .


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## Ashful (Aug 30, 2013)

Just having some fun, HH.


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## Woody Stover (Aug 30, 2013)

Jags said:


> More for your viewing pleasure:


Yep, an ax or hatchet has to be within arm's reach when it gets _that_ nasty.


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## WeldrDave (Aug 30, 2013)

CMAG said:


> Anyway free and it burns,


Amen! just the way I like it


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## WeldrDave (Aug 30, 2013)

Joful said:


> Which one of you is this?


 HOLY S#IT


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## WellSeasoned (Aug 30, 2013)

Upon seeing some real uglies on here, this is only a bit ugly, but I'll share.....


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## smokinj (Aug 31, 2013)

Not sure what's the ugliest but here 3 to pick from.


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## CMAG (Aug 31, 2013)

I only see two


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## smokinj (Aug 31, 2013)

CMAG said:


> I only see two


 
guy on the right....


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## firefighterjake (Sep 1, 2013)

Jags said:


> I play rough:
> View attachment 109847
> 
> 
> View attachment 109848


 
There it is!


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## HDRock (Sep 1, 2013)

Dave USCG said:


> Dam Jags,, I got nothing  .......... Although that looks like my gum picture I was going to post


Post it, there is no winner


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## CMAG (Sep 1, 2013)

HDRock said:


> Post it, there is no winner


Only ashes


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## WeldrDave (Sep 1, 2013)

Well, this is a piece of cherry I busted up last year, think is better than the gum I got. Got nothing on ol Jags


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## hobbyheater (Sep 1, 2013)

It would take a Jack Hammer to split this  chunk, and it still would not burn!


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## NortheastAl (Sep 1, 2013)

Jags said:


> I suspect that some of the long timers are getting tired of it.  I whip it out on request.  (more innuendo?)
> 
> Had some white oak a couple weeks ago that looked pretty close CMAG's post above.  Made them into stove chow, but should take some pics.  Fugly.  Nice thing about my splitter...if it don't split it, it will cut it.  If it doesn't cut it, it will CRUSH it.


Nah, we need to be reminded once a year why it is wise to pass Elm up. 

A friend of my son has been trying to give an Elm that he dropped two years ago away for free. He says they call but never show up. I guess he tells them it's Elm, and that's the end of the conversation. He offered it to us, and at the time I didn't know it was Elm that was so stringy. Learned it here and saved a bunch of unnecessary screamin', cussin' and jumpin' around all mad. 

Awesome! The new editor is up already, and now I can add emoticons while using my iPad. Nice job, Craig.


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## cptoneleg (Sep 1, 2013)

Black Gum


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## WeldrDave (Sep 1, 2013)

cptoneleg said:


> Black Gum


I HATE THAT S#!T.... , I get it here too......Nice piece


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## firefighterjake (Sep 1, 2013)

Here's my entries . . . some of these will be going to the camp fire/burn pit pile. My feeling: they're ugly, but they're also BTU whether it be in a woodstove or in a campfire.


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## cptoneleg (Sep 1, 2013)

Here is a hairy one


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## hobbyheater (Sep 1, 2013)

cptoneleg said:


> View attachment 110100
> 
> 
> 
> ...



What is it ?


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## HDRock (Sep 1, 2013)

hobbyheater said:


> What is it ?


Honey Locust


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## Corey (Sep 1, 2013)

Doesn't look like much, but with the combination of a 'corkscrew' like grain and a few cross branches, this piece of hedge took out another maul handle.  At least I got almost a full cord out of this handle!  I started splitting some by hand just for the workout, but at this rate, it's probably cheaper to get a gym membership!


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## swagler85 (Sep 2, 2013)

Here's a good one from today.


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## HDRock (Sep 2, 2013)

swagler85 said:


> Here's a good one from today.
> View attachment 110192
> View attachment 110193


 Smashed the crap outa that puppy


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## CMAG (Sep 8, 2013)

These are the rounds I said looked like pulled pork


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## BrianK (Sep 8, 2013)

Dang, I just sent a small pick up load of uglies out to our homeschool group's campsight. As it pulled away, I thought, "I should snap a photo of all those uglies in one place ... Nah. Who would want to see that?"


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