# My Mother passed away



## tfdchief (Mar 12, 2014)

Sorry I have been absent for a while. My Mother passed away Tuesday morning.


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## BrotherBart (Mar 12, 2014)

Sorry to hear that Chief. I lost Mom in December. Funeral on Christmas Eve puts a damper on the holiday.


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## fossil (Mar 12, 2014)

My mom died in May 1990.  I still miss her every day.  My condolences, Chief.


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## tfdchief (Mar 12, 2014)

BrotherBart said:


> Sorry to hear that Chief. I lost Mom in December. Funeral on Christmas Eve puts a damper on the holiday.


I understand completely.  We celebrated Mom's 90th birthday in December and despite the fact that she was not well then, It was a good time and she was really ready to go after that.  I took a while and the end was tough, but she was ready and now is in heaven with my Dad and others.  We sent a message to heaven that  Grandma was on her way and the party up there was over!  Just FYI.


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## tfdchief (Mar 12, 2014)

fossil said:


> My mom died in May 1990.  I still miss her every day.  My condolences, Chief.


Thanks.  I will miss her every day too.  But fond memories will persist. My daughter just called me to get my approval of her Eulogy.  All I could say was Yes, I am so proud of you, perfect!


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## rideau (Mar 12, 2014)

Deepest sympathy.


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## Mrs. Krabappel (Mar 12, 2014)

So sorry.   And to you BB.  I somehow missed that you just lost your mum.


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## Ktm300 (Mar 12, 2014)

Sorry for your loss.


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## Beer Belly (Mar 12, 2014)

Condolences


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## GENECOP (Mar 13, 2014)

Sorry for your loss....I know how heartbreaking it is.....RIP Mom....


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## firefighterjake (Mar 13, 2014)

Sorry for your loss Steve.


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## razerface (Mar 13, 2014)

Sorry to hear that.  

I am glad she was ready to go. My mom was the same before she left us, and in her words "I am anxious to see your father"
My mothers funeral was full of smiles and stories. She led a good life and had many friends. I hope there are smiles at your moms too.


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## Bobbin (Mar 13, 2014)

The death of a parent is a profound thing.  There are all sorts of little memories that only you and your mum shared, Chief, and now those memories belong only to you.  You will think of them at the strangest times in the coming years and every remembrance will affect you differently.  Sometimes I use an expression peculiar to one of my parents and think nothing of it, other times I wonder where/when _they_ first heard it.  Occasionally I stumble upon something one of them wrote in a book's margin and it makes me smile.

My condolences to you and your family.  How wonderful that your daughter wrote her eulogy.


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## webbie (Mar 13, 2014)

Sorry to hear, Chief....

I'm looking at my three surviving parents and in-laws and know that they have all far outlived the "norm", so sooner or later they are gonna (aren't we all?) going to join your mom. All I can hope is they go with peace and a min. of pain.

my MIL is 93 and is still flying regularly (even up north in the winter), playing crossword puzzles and seems to have more stamina than I do! They fixed her heart about 20 years ago - what a miracle!


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## DAKSY (Mar 13, 2014)

Condolences, Chief. Most of us only get one shot at a mom & a dad & hopefully whatever time you had with her was quality. Nothing forces you to face your own mortality like the death of a parent. Lost my Mom in 97 (ALS) & Dad almost EXACTLY 2 years later (Big C). They're both in Saratoga National Cemetery & unfortunately, because I am a Patriot Guard Rider, I am at that cemetery a lot, so I'm able to go to their site often...The conversations aren't the same...


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## Xena (Mar 13, 2014)

Condolences to you chief.  Its never easy..


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## Jags (Mar 13, 2014)

So very sorry to hear, Chief.  There is nothing easy about loosing a loved one.


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## valley ranch (Mar 13, 2014)

Her light's in your eyes, My folks used to say. She knows you miss her. The best to you Chief, She'll put in a good word for you.


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## firebroad (Mar 13, 2014)

Blessing be with you, Chief.  Remember, you will meet again.
Take care.


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## velvetfoot (Mar 13, 2014)

My condolances.  My Mom passed away in 10/12.  Feels like I'm more alone in the world now.  Eyes tearing while writing this.


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## Dune (Mar 13, 2014)

Pop passed away last year and Mom is terminal. You have my empathy.


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## begreen (Mar 13, 2014)

Very sorry to hear of your loss chief. The loss of a parent is hard. I often think of my mom and dad when dealing with challenges and joys of life. It keeps them alive in your heart and mind.


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## Dix (Mar 14, 2014)

Deepest condolences from my family to yours. The loss of a parent is a tough one.

Sending Dixie snuffles your way, big time.


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## tfdchief (Mar 14, 2014)

We put Mom to rest today.  It is over.  She is at peace.  Thank you all, my friends, for your caring hearts and concern for me.  Steve


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## iceguy4 (Mar 15, 2014)

velvetfoot said:


> My condolances.  My Mom passed away in 10/12.  Feels like I'm more alone in the world now.  Eyes tearing while writing this.


   My eyes tearing as I read this thread...Still have my mom....for now....gonna call her after I post this... condolences to all here who have lost loved ones.   It seems to me we should celebrate cuz their going to a better place ....but we don't....They say "moms" are the hardest.....


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## bag of hammers (Mar 15, 2014)

Condolences tfdchief, may she rest in peace...


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## tfdchief (Mar 15, 2014)

iceguy4 said:


> My eyes tearing as I read this thread...Still have my mom....for now....gonna call her after I post this... condolences to all here who have lost loved ones.   It seems to me we should celebrate cuz their going to a better place ....but we don't....They say "moms" are the hardest.....


You are right iceguy4, we should celebrate!  And I guess we did.  We cried and told stories and cried some more, but we were all happy that mom was now with dad, dancing in heaven.  It has been 20 years since they were able to do that, and I know they are having a blast.....can't get much better than that.  I visited the grave today....big mistake, I got all worked up again.  Thanks to all of my friends here, you do make a difference!


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## jharkin (Mar 15, 2014)

Condolences Chief.


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## iceguy4 (Mar 15, 2014)

tfdchief said:


> You are right iceguy4, we should celebrate!  And I guess we did.  We cried and told stories and cried some more, but we were all happy that mom was now with dad, dancing in heaven.  It has been 20 years since they were able to do that, and I know they are having a blast.....can't get much better than that.  I visited the grave today....big mistake, I got all worked up again.  Thanks to all of my friends here, you do make a difference!


  Your a lucky man to be able to cry.  Something happens....like sneezing or coughing that helps to defend our bodies...real men cry...


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## tfdchief (Mar 15, 2014)

iceguy4 said:


> Your a lucky man to be able to cry.  Something happens....like sneezing or coughing that helps to defend our bodies...real men cry...


Oh, iceguy4. you are so right!  Real men do cry.  I have always considered myself as tough as they come, and I can hold it back when I have to get the job done....I did it yesterday as I read passages at the vigil for my mom, but when the time comes I can cry, like a baby.  I cried for 3 days in November when my Oggie (my dog) died.  I guess some might think it not masculine but I think they must just be insecure.  Because REAL men DO cry.  Thanks  iceguy4, Steve


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## iceguy4 (Mar 15, 2014)

tfdchief said:


> Oh, iceguy4. you are so right!  Real men do cry.  I have always considered myself as tough as they come, and I can hold it back when I have to get the job done....I did it yesterday as I read passages at the vigil for my mom, but when the time comes I can cry, like a baby.  I cried for 3 days in November when my Oggie (my dog) died.  I guess some might think it not masculine but I think they must just be insecure.  Because REAL men DO cry.  Thanks  iceguy4, Steve


   Believe me, I still cry bout my first Rottweiler..."Dakota"...I think the passing of pets help us to get through the harder ones...   every day it will get easier.  Your mom would NOT want you to even "skip a beat"...If you passed would you want her to take it hard? prolly not...


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## tfdchief (Mar 15, 2014)

iceguy4 said:


> Believe me, I still cry bout my first Rottweiler..."Dakota"...I think the passing of pets help us to get through the harder ones...   every day it will get easier.  Your mom would NOT want you to even "skip a beat"...If you passed would you want her to take it hard? prolly not...


You are so right!  God bless you and your Dakota.  I personally have had a harder time with the passing of my animals than most humans.  Some would find that unexceptionable, but that is OK too, I just find my animals to be my true and loving companions, with not conditions, and humans always seem to have conditions.


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## iceguy4 (Mar 15, 2014)

tfdchief said:


> I personally have had a harder time with the passing of my animals than most humans


Funny you say that...My dad passed about the same time as Dakota...I got over that, and Dakota I still have problems with... My dad passed from cancer and NOTHING was left "un said" between us....Dakota I had to put down...(eyes tearing now)....silly isn't it?


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## tfdchief (Mar 15, 2014)

iceguy4 said:


> Funny you say that...My dad passed about the same time as Dakota...I got over that, and Dakota I still have problems with... My dad passed from cancer and NOTHING was left "un said" between us....Dakota I had to put down...(eyes tearing now)....silly isn't it?


NO, it isn't silly to me.  I understand COMPLETELY!  My Oggie was the the toughest loss of my life.  Sorry if that offends some people, but I can't help it.  I loved that dog more than myself!  The first thing I am going to do when I get to heaven is ask God where the Rainbow Bridge is, so I can go get my Oggie and bring her to heaven with me.  Then, I will be content.


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## iceguy4 (Mar 15, 2014)

tfdchief said:


> NO, it isn't silly to me.  I understand COMPLETELY!  My Oggie was the the toughest loss of my life.  Sorry if that offends some people, but I can't help it.  I loved that dog more than myself!  The first thing I am going to do when I get to heaven is ask God where the Rainbow Bridge is, so I can go get my Oggie and bring her to heaven with me.  Then, I will be content.


  I have been told you get a dog like Oggie/ Dakota once in a lifetime...   My "Troy" (another Rottie) is great....but not quite the guy kota-rokie was  (nickname...cant see screen through tears) ,,,    Cats are just OK ....some will never know how close you can get with a dog....I'm not feeling TOO guilty about the thread hi-jack as its your thread...   BTW   I have a vet that comes to my house, and kota was 13+ years old and battled both wobblers decease and hip dysplasia for the last years of his life...I was very concerned that I was keeping him for selfish reasons (crying like a lil girl now)...  My vet said "he will tell you when its time"...and he did just that.    Silly me, I got myself all worked up...   Both troy and Dakota are/were handsome boys...pure breed...   ...  anyway chief, keep your chin up


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## tfdchief (Mar 15, 2014)

iceguy4 said:


> I'm not feeling TOO guilty about the thread hi-jack as its your thread.


No apologies necessary,   I don't consider it a hi-jack at all, and neither would my Mother!  We Hettinger's love our animals as much as any family member.  And I know what you mean about your Dakota, and I am sure he was a special boy.  You keep your chin up too.  After my Oggie passed, my wife said "I don't want another one, I can't go through it again"  I didn't say anything but knew that wouildn't work for me.  In 3 days she relented and a week after Oggie died, we adopted a rescue.  Buddy!  He saved my life!  I love him so much already and I am convinced that Oggie and God got together to send him to me.  Here is my new special boy!


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## firefighterjake (Mar 16, 2014)

tfdchief said:


> No apologies necessary,   I don't consider it a hi-jack at all, and neither would my Mother!  We Hettinger's love our animals as much as any family member.  And I know what you mean about your Dakota, and I am sure he was a special boy.  You keep your chin up too.  After my Oggie passed, my wife said "I don't want another one, I can't go through it again"  I didn't say anything but knew that wouildn't work for me.  In 3 days she relented and a week after Oggie died, we adopted a rescue.  Buddy!  He saved my life!  I love him so much already and I am convinced that Oggie and God got together to send him to me.  Here is my new special boy!
> View attachment 129758



Buddy is so adorable ... almost looks like a stuffie.


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## Osagebndr (Mar 16, 2014)

My condolences tfdchief. That is a hard loss. By the way cute dog. Makes you want to live life a little fuller as it is too short in the first place for some.


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## Bobbin (Mar 16, 2014)

I am a firm believer that "bottling it up" is a complete waste of energy.  Nothing better than a "good cry", if you ask me!  And intermittent bouts of "welling up" serve the same purpose.  I've never understood why those things are more accepted in the sisterhood; it's good that that foolishness is falling by the wayside. 

Watching the good man cry over each of the 4 kitties we've seen head off to the Happy Hunting Ground in the past 22 yrs. convinces me that that cats are a good deal more than, "just OK", Ice.   One of the saddest sights I've ever seen was the good man walking to the house holding Sally's collar in his hand after the final trip we all dread.  And it's funny that I (the cat person who turned him on to the joys of kitties) was the one who searched for the next dog because he'd turned me on to the joys of fool dogs!  (as our present fool dog ages I'm on the prowl for a suitable heir to his territory)


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