# You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...



## BrotherBart (Nov 6, 2008)

Everybody is lighting up so it is time for my annual thread. I'll start it off.

You know you are a real wood burner when you comment at a wine tasting that the Chardonnay is oakey with just a hint of creosote.


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## bluefrier (Nov 6, 2008)

when you compare your newborn to an 18" split.


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## Rockey (Nov 6, 2008)

You print pictures of woodstacks at work and try to burn them that evening.


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## pen (Nov 6, 2008)

When you wear pants in the summer and shorts in the winter!


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## Chettt (Nov 6, 2008)

When you bring a moisture meter to the para-olympics.


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## North of 60 (Nov 6, 2008)

bluefrier said:
			
		

> when you compare your newborn to an 18" split.



 Congrats on your new 18' split/new born.



 You are a real world woodburner when your 5 year old asks why the oil delivery truck never stops at our house.


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## woodburn (Nov 6, 2008)

So far the winner is...........bluefrier!  Comparing your kid to a log?  That's hardcore.  I like it!


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## hilly (Nov 6, 2008)

When you are at work, emailing a stranger who lives across the country, instructions on how to get the cleanest burn out the wood stove type you both have.


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## BJ64 (Nov 6, 2008)

When you talk about the stove all winter and your chainsaw the rest of the time.


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## BJ64 (Nov 6, 2008)

Chettt said:
			
		

> When you bring a moisture meter to the para-olympics.



That almost qualifies as EVIL   But funny!


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## daveswoodhauler (Nov 6, 2008)

When you are standing as the bus stop with your 6 year old. And your child says, "Daddy, why do you always look at the woodpile? You should be looking for the bus..I can't miss the bus"

or....when your six year old needs a show and tell item that starts with "w" to bring in to school, and your wife says " you cant put a huge log in his backpack "


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## Diabel (Nov 6, 2008)

When you dream that your stove is running on plutonium....more than once!


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## glassmanjpf (Nov 6, 2008)

You open up your cell phone and there is a video of your wood burning stove.


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## cannonballcobb (Nov 6, 2008)

When your neighbor stops by and asks,

"Do you have a bad back or something? I saw your wife splitting wood today while you were at work."   :lol:


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## cruzer (Nov 6, 2008)

your mother-in-law calls to tell you about the free wood she saw on the side of the road that you should pickup. (guess she wants the grandkids to be warm this winter...)


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## sl7vk (Nov 6, 2008)

You know that you're a woodburner when you learn every species of tree..... and judge them on how well they burn.......

And when you're wife catches you checking out your neighbors oak.....  man that sucker could give me two cords....


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## cmonSTART (Nov 6, 2008)

You're CONSTANTLY checking you chimney to see how the burn is progressing.


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## agz124 (Nov 6, 2008)

Your wife makes you a birthday card and draws pictures of things you love.....wood stove and log rack!


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## Diabel (Nov 6, 2008)

When it's 65* outside (freaky weather) but you keep walking by the stove & checking the temps.....& not knowing what to do with yourself %-P


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## daveswoodhauler (Nov 6, 2008)

cannonballcobb said:
			
		

> When your neighbor stops by and asks,
> 
> "Do you have a bad back or something? I saw your wife splitting wood today while you were at work."   :lol:



My vote so far is for Cannonball.....I think we need some vids of the wifes splitting/stacking wood


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## lazeedan (Nov 6, 2008)

when it's November and you are disapointed by 70 degree days.


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## Dix (Nov 6, 2008)

> My vote so far is for Cannonball.....I think we need some vids of the wifes splitting/stacking wood



Well, then, I'd like to see pics & vids of Hubbys/SO's/masculine guys splitting/stacking wood.

It's only fair  %-P


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## daveswoodhauler (Nov 6, 2008)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> > My vote so far is for Cannonball.....I think we need some vids of the wifes splitting/stacking wood
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ok, will do....if I can figure out how to take a short mpeg on the Camera...I don't think you will be impressed though  but, you are right...fair is fair


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## Shipper50 (Nov 6, 2008)

You know your a wood burner when you pull splinters out of your hand and use them for fire starter. :roll: 

Shipper


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## RedRanger (Nov 6, 2008)

You keep checking the thermomoter outside and the thermostat inside hoping both readings are low enough to "fire it up".


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## gary (Nov 6, 2008)

When you notice the downed tree lying next to the road instead of the young, female jogger running past it.


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## begreen (Nov 6, 2008)

When you actually enjoy building a woodshed, scrounging wood and splitting it as much as burning it.


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## skinnykid (Nov 6, 2008)

You know your a wood burner because you have a constant pain in your neck from always looking up at trees and thinking " I Know how I would drop that!"


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## gzecc (Nov 6, 2008)

You know your a wood burner when you hump a used 400lb insert 100 miles home you found on craigslist.


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## fossil (Nov 6, 2008)

I don't know if I'm a real woodburner.  But I know my wife is.  She stacks wood more neatly than I do, and I can lay in bed in the morning until she's got the Liberty crankin' with the blower going.  How I love that woman!      Rick


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## bsruther (Nov 6, 2008)

When you covet your wood pile... When you carress your wood pile...When you tuck the tarp in around the wood pile and ask it if it's comfortable.


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## Dill (Nov 6, 2008)

That post made me remember this. A popular yearly joke on a another Forum I'm active on.



I like to stack my wood vertically, but that often requires using completely symetrical pieces, so we do a lot of sorting. So the symetrical pieces get stacked in a vertical position roughly 15 yards of the Southwest corner of the house, running completley perpendicular to the swing of the back door.

Discarded, assymetrial pieces, get stacked in a traditional manner in alternating 4'x4'x5' stacks 6' apart around the perimeter of the garden shed.

Stacks are seperated into grades based on wood composition, weight, angle of split pattern compared to grain, texture and condition of bark (I have sensative skin), and potential burn rate derrived by the ratio of mass to moisture content.

Vertically stacked, symetrical pieces get covered by a monogramed, custom tailored, canvas sail cloth wood stack cover I special ordered from Pottery Barn. It looks very professional.

For the assymetrical "stacks", I prefer a more down-home feel. These are protecetd by hand crocheted wool wood pile cozies I made from yarn I spun from wool sheared from a neighbor's sheep. A nice, personal touch.

Wood piles, they're a "good thing".....


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## chad3 (Nov 6, 2008)

2 1/2 year old daughter knocks on wood and then says "good wood".  Crumples paper to start the fires and then has to hand you each piece of kindling followed by telling you that you need to split a few of the pieces a bit smaller before lighting off.  She will then come back a few minutes after the fire has started to make sure the fire is going.  No kidding, she is a sweetheart

Running through the woods and I stop to take a look at some of the huge oaks and both really want to take them down and then figure out how I would drop it and best way without taking out other trees.  Small puzzles are fun.


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## bsa0021 (Nov 6, 2008)

When darkness falls and you sneak over to your neighbors yard (who doesn't burn) to drive copper spikes into his 100 year old oak tree (just kidding).


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## bfunk13 (Nov 6, 2008)

You know your a wood burner when you open your gas bill and its under 50 bucks!


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## trapshooter9 (Nov 6, 2008)

When you sort through your wood stack looking for the "right" split, the way many people sort through their wine rack trying to decide on a bottle of wine. Lets see...I think I'll go with the '06 ash followed by some '05 cherry and then for dessert a split or two of 7 year old oak.


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## Chettt (Nov 6, 2008)

When your absolute dream house is an 800 sq/ft cabin on a quarter section of hardwood. I used that one last  year brother Bart but it is still my dream.


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## Bigg_Redd (Nov 6, 2008)

. . .when you stop and snag a load of firewood left by the power company on the side of the road on the way to your wedding.


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## bvpbill (Nov 6, 2008)

When you read this thread to completion and have a couple of cords stacked outside. 
Ready to go when you don't know what the winter will bring here in
Annapolis. However, it will get cold and we will be warm.
Better to burn wood than burn $$$ paying BGE for the non heat pump heat!
Bill


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## eernest4 (Nov 6, 2008)

You know your a woodburner when you are upset because there is a tree down 20 miles away
that you can have free for the taking but the gasoline & the number of trips needed to get it all home virsus the carring capacity of your honda civic hatch back make it too expensive to bother with.

Oh why didn't I put a new axil on my trailer earlier this summer???

Oh yea, I remember now. I wanted to get the wood I already had on hand cut,split & stored in the wood shed, first, before it  got rained on & all moldy & green & started growing oddly shaped & colored things out of the sides of the logs.


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## pyro68 (Nov 6, 2008)

when your wife is in bed waiting, and your stuck on hearth.com trying to figure out if that 5th thermometer for your stove will benefit, and where to place it on the stove. . . .


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## CowboyAndy (Nov 6, 2008)

You know you are a real wood burner when you drag the wood splitter over to the in laws at 8pm on a wed night because they have some left to be split... and just ignore the skunk 50 yards from you, and the coyotes that seem to be getting closer and closer. Head home at 9pm and ponder splitting more by the headlights of your truck, even though most of the neighborhood is asleep and someone will most likely call the cops. But hey, that wood isn't going to split itself!


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## kenny chaos (Nov 6, 2008)

You know you're a real wood burner when you get such a strong and urgent need to split wood that you sneak out in your ninja outfit and absolutely refuse to think that you might be out of gas.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qVfbl38rnc


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## acesover (Nov 6, 2008)

when your posting stuff on the hearth at 2 am.


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## timfromohio (Nov 6, 2008)

When the pictures your kids draw of any type of dwelling (be it house, castle, etc.) all have stoves, chimneys, red in the firebox, and small black lines coming out of the chimney that's supposed to be the smoke (they're both under 5 and are still learning about a "clean" burn ....)

When your kids (both under 5) have their gloves on when you get home from work and ask you if it's "wood duty" time and are ready to help bring in a load of wood from the pile to the stack in the garage.


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## Got Wood (Nov 6, 2008)

When your wife doesn't let you drive because your attention is searching the roadside for a potential score!

When you show off your wood pile to your non burning friends and they give you one of those "are you nuts" looks

When the word "Maul" doesn't bring dreadfull thoughts of shopping


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## gzecc (Nov 6, 2008)

When you seriously consider the possible theft of some of your wood from your wood supply by a low down wood thief.


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## Adios Pantalones (Nov 6, 2008)

Perfectly healthy, you have already assembled your own funeral pyre.


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## Valhalla (Nov 6, 2008)

You give your family and friends tours of your wood stacks.

Your stove is cleaner than your truck.

Life revolves around your stove!


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## eernest4 (Nov 6, 2008)

gzecc said:
			
		

> When you seriously consider the possible theft of some of your wood from your wood supply by a low down wood thief.



Don't LOL , but it's too late for that
Already happened to me 2 years ago!
I almost caught the guy ,too!! 
 He seen me comming with the axe in my hand & took off down the road with his trunk lid flapping & a trunk full of my best splits. 
SOB/skunk rat

I got rid of the wood pile & keep all my splits in 3 nice locked waterproof wood sheds now, because of him & the constant raining. :coolsmirk:


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## pulldownclaw (Nov 6, 2008)

When you do most of your hand splitting at night by headlamp after the kids are in bed, trying to get that Holz Hausen finished.


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## Valhalla (Nov 6, 2008)

eernest4 said:
			
		

> gzecc said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You know you are a real wood burner when that kind of theft is cause for a shotgun trap! ;>)


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## firefighterjake (Nov 6, 2008)

. . . you find yourself regularly checking out your friends' and family members' woodpiles and mentally comparing them to your own in terms of quantity, type of wood, and stacking technique.

. . . you look forward to the weekend even though your sole plans for the weekend are to cut, split and stack wood.

. . . you go to the hardware store and find yourself wandering by the chainsaws, woodsplitters, axes, woodstoves and other wood cutting/splitting tools even if you have no plans to buy anything.

. . . at the local hardware store you feel compelled to tell complete strangers about the merits of the new woodstoves and the clean burning technology -- with as much fervor as a TV evangelist.

. . . you spend more time looking at and designing plans for a new woodshed than you do in planning out the renovations to the house.

. . . you have a pre-occupation in finding the perfect tree to cut down, a pre-occupation with finding the perfect split to toss into the firebox and a pre-occupation in finding the perfect "sweet spot" on your stove (to say nothing about that annoying habit you have of running outside every 20 minutes to look at your chimney and the lack of smoke.)


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## caber (Nov 6, 2008)

You keep your chainsaw and apparel int he back of your civic just in case you drive by something usable.

The pile of unstacked wood in your neighbor's yard makes you twitch with anger every time you drive by. 

You get a big thrill out of conversations at work where your coworkers are complaining about keeping the thermostat at 66 to save money and you're complaining about having to open windows because your house got up to 80.  

You've split wood at midnight cause SNL sucked. 

You dressed up as a logger for Halloween and your kids didn't notice anything different.


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## vasten (Nov 6, 2008)

When on a sunday drive, or anytime out of the house, you are spending more time looking for free wood, down trees or enviously eyeing other peoples wood piles.

And not to mention that a beautiful wood pile is more arousing than a spouse.


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## bayshorecs (Nov 6, 2008)

vasten said:
			
		

> And not to mention that a beautiful wood pile is more arousing than a spouse.



Wow.  that one is harsh!

Watch out for splinters!


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## kenny chaos (Nov 6, 2008)

You know you're a real wood burner when half way through a first date you say; "Well, enough about me.  Let me tell you about my wood stove."


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## Turner-n-Burner (Nov 6, 2008)

When your neighbors have forgotten your real name and just call you "the woodguy"


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## eernest4 (Nov 6, 2008)

When you put up electric lights in and around the outside of the wood shed so that you can go out & split wood at night, when its cool & you don't have to worry about sun burn or bees.


When you went out to split wood at 11pm at night & before you know it, the sun comes up!!

When your out splitting wood & it starts to rain & you won't come in out of the rain until you get all your wood inside first, where its safe & dry.

When there is almost as much wood in the house as there is in the  "full to the roof"  wood shed.

When you go out to split wood & only come back in when, after refilling the wood splitter's 1/2 gallon gas tank several times, the big gas jug goes empty ,too!!

When you ask your friends to drop off their old newspapers so you can light your stove.

When you only read the newspaper while you are laying the kindling for the fire.

When you learn how to sharpen and adjust the chain on your saw yourself.

When you finally stop using gas chain saws & run a 12 gague wire out to the wood shed for your electric chain saws because they don't vibrate your hands at all.

When your friends  park across the street because they are tired of getting flat tires from the wood splinters created in your drive way while busting up pallets with a sledge hammer.

When your friends say "yea, we've already seen your woodshed once before".

When the weeds where you threw your ashes last winter grow better & faster than your garden does.


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## pyro68 (Nov 6, 2008)

if you've ever camped out by your wood pile with a shotgun . . . . :lol:


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## eernest4 (Nov 6, 2008)

When your wood pile is protected by an electronic bug control module. ;-P


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## Jags (Nov 6, 2008)

When you spend hours a day staring at hearth.com and reading threads that start with "you know your a real wood burner when....".

Edit: and giggling because its true or you have done it, or at least thought about doing it.


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## Vic99 (Nov 6, 2008)

When your wife shakes her head because you have to point out every house with a woodpile that you drive by.  "Oooo, he's got a stove . . . and him, and that one . . . "


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## BrotherBart (Nov 6, 2008)

When you know every house on your regular driving routes that has a stainless chimney liner.


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## kevin85 (Nov 6, 2008)

When you say to your kids, "What to do something fun today?"  And they reply with, "Dad, we don't want to go look at the woodpiles again today!"


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## bayshorecs (Nov 6, 2008)

When you leave work early to get home in time to light up the stove and work a little on the woodpile before dark.


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## ScottF (Nov 6, 2008)

When your kid is screaming bloody murder because you are chainsawing his wooden bed frame so you can burn it in the woodstove.


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## ScottF (Nov 6, 2008)

When you seriously consider asking your wife if you can build a huge fire and perform a do it yourself creamation on her corpse in the event  she happens to go before you.


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## Jags (Nov 6, 2008)

ScottF said:
			
		

> When you seriously consider asking your wife if you can build a huge fire and perform a do it yourself creamation on her corpse in the event  she happens to go before you.



 :shut:  :shut:  :shut:


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## ScottF (Nov 6, 2008)

I apologize for that one Jags.  It may have been a little over the top. I think AP's post led me there.  I really did laugh my Aspen off when I read his.  He is one helluva funny sob


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## bayshorecs (Nov 6, 2008)

ScottF said:
			
		

> When you seriously consider asking your wife if you can build a huge fire and perform a do it yourself creamation on her corpse in the event  she happens to go before you.



When you seriously plan on building a huge fire and perform a do it yourself creamation on her corpse in the event she happens to bug you too much about being too over the top concerning the wood stove.

(just kidding of course)

lol


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## ScottF (Nov 6, 2008)

when your once  wooded lot is now bare as a cow pasture and all of the neighbors are out chained to their ornamental trees to prevent you from sawing them into kindling


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## markpee (Nov 6, 2008)

Eyeryone in your family (those who live in my house, and those who come from miles away) knows what a "clean burn" looks like, and alerts you when you don't have one.


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## madrone (Nov 6, 2008)

...you shake your head and click your tongue when you see clouds of smoke billowing out of chimneys.


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## CowboyAndy (Nov 6, 2008)

You know you are a wood burner when you tell you wife that you are just going to the basement to "put some more wood on the fire", she rolls her eyes and you come back upstairs 2 1/2 hours later because you were "making sure they caught".


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## CowboyAndy (Nov 6, 2008)

oops, double post...


well, while i am here...

you know you are a wood burner when you get so excited about making another post on hearth.com that you hit the button twice!


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## fossil (Nov 6, 2008)

CowboyAndy said:
			
		

> You know you are a wood burner when you tell you wife that you are just going to the basement to "put some more wood on the fire", she rolls her eyes and you come back upstairs 2 1/2 hours later because you were "making sure they caught".



So, then, she still hasn't discovered the secret room down there with the wide screen & beer fridge in it?  You must have done some camoflage job on that door.  Rick


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## jqgs214 (Nov 6, 2008)

When you calll your self a controlled pyromaniac!


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## fossil (Nov 6, 2008)

ScottF said:
			
		

> When you seriously consider asking your wife if you can build a huge fire and perform a do it yourself creamation on her corpse in the event  she happens to go before you.



Really quite disgusting, Scott.  I would expect more from you.  _You misspelled "cremation".  _C'mon, man, get a grip.  Rick


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## ScottF (Nov 6, 2008)

OK how about,

when you are sitting nice and cozy around your wood stove with your family on a blustery night and your pets and everybody is telling each other how special their days were and how lucky they are to have such a hard working dad that cuts, splits and hauls wood so selflessly to keep them warm. 

Is that one better.


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## Adios Pantalones (Nov 6, 2008)

Chill out man- read what fossil said "I would expect more from you.  You misspelled “cremation”.  C’mon, man, get a grip.  Rick "

On this subject- a buddy of mine from NC asked me to make his cremation urn for him.  he's not sick in any way, just that he knows he'll be cremated and then it'd be too late to ask someone he knows to make one.


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## ScottF (Nov 6, 2008)

AHH  Gutcha ,  Im just a little slow,  didnt really get that one .  Sorry Rick  Thats what happens when they let just anyone like me join a site.


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## fossil (Nov 6, 2008)

I forgot to use a smiley, that's probably what threw you off into the unlikely realm of believing I was actually being serious.  Rick


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## fossil (Nov 6, 2008)

Sorry, Kenny, that one really _was_ over the line, and had to go.  Rick


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## kenny chaos (Nov 6, 2008)

fossil said:
			
		

> Sorry, Kenny, that one really _was_ over the line, and had to go.  Rick




   :red:  My sincerest apologies Captain.  It really isn't my style to make light of anothers sexual preferances. %-P


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## ScottF (Nov 6, 2008)

> On this subject- a buddy of mine from NC asked me to make his cremation urn for him. he’s not sick in any way, just that he knows he’ll be cremated and then it’d be too late to ask someone he knows to make one.



So did you make him one??? Sounds like a reasonable request if you want to be cremated. Just curious



Being a furniture maker ( hobbyist)I have had inquires about building a custom coffin for people. I just couldn't do it . It would be way to creepy to me. I think an urn would be less creepy because it could symbolize other things unlike a coffin.


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## Adios Pantalones (Nov 6, 2008)

I'll be making probably 4 of them for the next firing (early December) and he can have his pick (the rest will be cookie/dog cookie jars).  He said that since I know him, it would mean more to have me do it.  He knows where and who will spread his ashes etc.  I think it'll mean a lot to his DW as well- she's a fan of handmade pottery (NC has a long proud tradition of woodfired pottery) and appreciated the moonshine jug I sent her.

Kept offering me money and such, but I told him it'd be an honor and he could buy me a beer when we see eachother next (not often).  Also sending him something to send to his daughter in new zealand.

I guess I can see someone's reservations on making an urn or a coffin- I was pretty touched that he asked.  Now there are some people that want their ashes turned into a pottery glaze.  That I'd have to think about a bit more  

Maybe a coffin would be different.  I want a plain pine box that will compost with me PDQ.


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## Bamawood (Nov 6, 2008)

You know you're a woodburner when your wife in the next room thinks you're looking at a porn website from the oohs and aaaahs your making and she come to see that your looking at the pics of everyone's wood pile.


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## buckeye (Nov 7, 2008)

When your wife who was always hot even if it was 20 degrees out side and she was in a bikini tells you the house is a little chilly and you need to build a fire. You look at the thermostat and it is 68 in the house, but she is used to 74 now.


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## tbuff (Nov 7, 2008)

You know you're a wood burner when.... You call home to check up on the wife and kids, and only ask how the is stove doin? (Ooops forgot about the wife and kids) :cheese:


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## drewboy (Nov 7, 2008)

When jokes about "Wood" take on a whole new meaning...


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## Hiram Maxim (Nov 7, 2008)

When your neighbors ask if they can buy some wood because they think you have a firewood business!!  :cheese: 

When you transfer splinters to your girlfriend while rubbing her back!

When you laugh at your natural gas bill in February!

If your freezing when it gets down to 70* in the house!


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## Stevebass4 (Nov 7, 2008)

it's 20 outsdie and your  T-stat is set at 60 but your home is 82 :lol:


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## Rockey (Nov 7, 2008)

Your "wood burning obsession", according to your wife, has caused you to seek professional help. While sitting in his office you check his coffee table with your moisture meter.


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## cannonballcobb (Nov 7, 2008)

When viewing your house on google earth, your wood pile resembles the great wall of China.


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## Redox (Nov 7, 2008)

You know you're a serious woodburner when...

You wake up out of a deep sleep at 4AM, drag yourself out of a nice warm bed and go downstairs to feed the "baby", all cause you heard the furnace kick on.  Your youngest child is 9 and you have been doing this for years.

You go outside in the morning to get the paper and listen carefully for chainsaws in the distance.  Upon hearing this, you drop the paper and grab the keys to the truck to go investigate.

You're pissed at your neighbors cause they have nicer looking firewood than you do and only have an open fireplace to burn it in.

You tell your wife that you will be in the back yard "playing with your wood" and she just nods her head.

... you might be a (wood) redneck.  - Jeff Foxworthy

Chris


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## skinnykid (Nov 7, 2008)

You kinda feel bad about adding a split to your fire because " it's a pretty piece of wood"


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## oconnor (Nov 7, 2008)

pyro68 said:
			
		

> when your wife is in bed waiting, and your stuck on hearth.com trying to figure out if that 5th thermometer for your stove will benefit, and where to place it on the stove. . . .


I guess I should really go upstairs now...

PS - the thermometer goes on the top.


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## fossil (Nov 7, 2008)

If it fits in the stove, it's pretty.  If it doesn't fit in the stove it's ugly...until you make it pretty.  A little cosmetic wood surgery is all it takes.  Rick


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## oconnor (Nov 7, 2008)

For my fellow Canucks - When you get the Canadian Tire flyer, and only look for axes, not car parts and other tools (PS - Moisture meters and laser thermometers are half price this week)


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## kenny chaos (Nov 7, 2008)

fossil said:
			
		

> If it fits in the stove, it's pretty.  If it doesn't fit in the stove it's ugly...until you make it pretty.  A little cosmetic wood surgery is all it takes.  Rick






Cosmetic wood surgery? :lol:


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## deadon (Nov 7, 2008)

when you can't wait for the weekend to work harder cutting and spliting wood that you do at your regular day job. Also when the neibor across the street caught the pyro bug from you and you take him to your favorite cutting spot. Passed the love of burning on to my oldest son. NEW STOVE YESTERDAY.

PS my back is still not able to stock the wood box, my wife did it again this morning before going to work, and the weekend is coming. My oldest son has my saw and said if I drive the woods truck he will cut, load and unload today but it will be for his new stove.


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## CowboyAndy (Nov 7, 2008)

You know you are a real wood burner when your 12 year old complains that it is cold in the house and puts on a sweatshirt, and the temp in there 70*.


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## Girl (Nov 7, 2008)

When he says 
"you look so pretty tending the stove"
(That's the que someone needs some attention, me thinks)

AP- Someone asking you to make their urn is such an honor!


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## eernest4 (Nov 7, 2008)

oconnor said:
			
		

> For my fellow Canucks - When you get the Canadian Tire flyer, and only look for axes, not car parts and other tools (PS - Moisture meters and laser thermometers are half price this week)



Does Canadian Tire have a web site & do they do internet sales. If so,please pm me with their web site url.

I live in Conn, usa, so i don't have any other way to get this info so please PM me.


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## BrotherBart (Nov 7, 2008)

eernest4 said:
			
		

> Does Canadian Tire have a web site & do they do internet sales. If so,please pm me with their web site url.
> 
> I live in Conn, usa, so i don't have any other way to get this info so please PM me.



Google is now available in the U.S. since the election.  :lol: 

www.canadiantire.ca


----------



## eernest4 (Nov 7, 2008)

Deadon said:
			
		

> when you can't wait for the weekend to work harder cutting and spliting wood that you do at your regular day job. Also when the neibor across the street caught the pyro bug from you and you take him to your favorite cutting spot. Passed the love of burning on to my oldest son. NEW STOVE YESTERDAY.
> 
> PS my back is still not able to stock the wood box, my wife did it again this morning before going to work, and the weekend is coming. My oldest son has my saw and said if I drive the woods truck he will cut, load and unload today but it will be for his new stove.



I was just thinking to myself how lucky you are to have a family to help you with the wood choirs. I am 60 & retired & i do it all just by myself, unelse I decide to hire help.
 I just buried the last of my family in may ,this year.

You are truely blessed.


----------



## smokinj (Nov 7, 2008)

When a customer at work says arent you the saw guy!


----------



## eernest4 (Nov 7, 2008)

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> eernest4 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Thank You Brother Bart----------is it just me , or do you ever notice that google sends you down 20 to 30 dead ends before you sometimes find what you were actually looking for.
With 56.6 modem this seach can sometimes take upwards of a hour to do, especially when you have 2 wait 20 min for a web page that you find out you didn't even want to look at, just to find out you didn't want to go there.agrevating!


----------



## mayhem (Nov 7, 2008)

You know you're a woodburner when you stand in front of your stove, hand behind your back in the warming position while watching TV in August.


----------



## eernest4 (Nov 7, 2008)

you know you are a wood burner when your freshly washed socks still contain wood splinters
enbeded in the fabric , just ready to stick you in the bottom of your feet.

All the other clothes you wear while splitting are that way ,too

You find wood chips floating in the washing machine.

Your pockets are full of chain saw dust.

You frequently have to pick wood splinters out of your underwear!!

Your friends all park across the street now & walk over, instead of parking in your drive way because they all got flat tires from wood splinters, dispite your continuing efforts to sweep up the splinters.

Just in case your wondering, wood splinters come from breaking up wood pallets with an assortment of different wieghts of sledgehammers. I usually break up 4 to 6 pallets a day, for my morning extercise, for going on 2 years now.


----------



## fattire (Nov 7, 2008)

...when you see another guy driving down off the mountain (on the National Forest) with a load of wood and you feel the urge to run out to the road  to see what he's got, and where he got it.   (You fear he might have cut one of "your" trees.)

.. when you actually begin to believe $155 (+shipping) for a hand-forged maul "isn't that bad".


----------



## bokehman (Nov 7, 2008)

... when you don't try to burn unseasoned wood.


----------



## kenny chaos (Nov 7, 2008)

.... when you really want to understand :  free water vs. bound water, hygroscopic, free hydroxyl groups, fiber saturation point, mechanisms for moisture movement, etc..
:-S


----------



## MotoBoyMatt (Nov 7, 2008)

When you don't buy wood by the truckload but chainsaws.


----------



## kenny chaos (Nov 7, 2008)

Let me guess. The one you want to use is always on the bottom?


----------



## fossil (Nov 7, 2008)

Looks to me like more than a face cord of saws...I think she's a bit overloaded.  Drive carefully!  Rick


----------



## Hogwildz (Nov 7, 2008)

When you tell a woman at the bar you have some serious wood, ask her if she wants to see & feel it, then take her home and show her your wood stacks all proud like.


----------



## thebeatlesrgood (Nov 8, 2008)

...when your girlfirend tells you that all you ever talk about is "wood stuff"even though you didn't realize that you were talking about wood. it's just normal conversation for you.

... when you haven't split or cut wood since the last time you washed your cloths, yet every pair of socks you own still has craploads of wood chips in them.

... when your girlfriend asks what do you want for christmas and you say husqvarna chainsaw chaps, and a chain sharpening guide.

... when every single time someone pulls into your neighbors driveway you run to a window to make sure nobody is stealing your wood.

... when your scrounged woodpile get so big, that every time you're out splitting, 3 people stop to ask, "where the hell'd you get all that wood?/can i buy some of that wood?"

... when you're in the market for a 10 ton dump truck, just so that you wont miss out on that next big score of scoungable wood.


----------



## Thomask9590 (Nov 8, 2008)

.....When, on the trial bus ride for the first day of Kindergarten your wife is pointing out all the familiar places to your daughter so she will feel comfortable on her first day of school....and the wife says "That's meme's house and that's the post office....and whats that honey ...as she is pointing to the new school and your daughter jumps and says ...."look daddy, more wood"


----------



## woodburn (Nov 8, 2008)

cruzer said:
			
		

> your mother-in-law calls to tell you about the free wood she saw on the side of the road that you should pickup. (guess she wants the grandkids to be warm this winter...)



Yup


----------



## drhiii (Nov 8, 2008)

When, after throwing in a couple of splits, you sit crosslegged to watch the fire come to life...

With your back to the TV.  

For 30 minutes.

And your wife repeats your name three times with a raised voice to get your attention.  And you don't respond.  

She changes the channel to ESPN, calls out your name, again, turns the volume up.

And you vaguely hear something calling and you think you become attentive.

Whereupon you begin to talk lovingly to her as you reflect on the different types of wood you are thinking of using for the overnight, the outside temp, the stacking patterns, and....

Ops, she went to bed a few minutes ago.  And the TV is off.

And you sit there a bit longer.

But not until checking eMail, then logging into hearth.com and posting this response.

Then passing the stove on your way to bed, you sit down crosslegged to watch the fire and...


----------



## KevinM (Nov 8, 2008)

You finally arrange a time for your father to help install your insert purchased in August and you pass a house with rounds stacked by the road and wonder "can I fit an insert, liner, tools, and the rounds in the back of the truck"?

Kevin.


----------



## fabguy01 (Nov 8, 2008)

When you call the propane co. and tell them to come get that big ugly tank off your property for the 3rd time!!


----------



## sbohlen (Nov 8, 2008)

When you need to keep the butter dish in the fridge all winter so the butter wont melt.


----------



## EDGE (Nov 11, 2008)

It's when, on a really cold night, a guy says he's going out to "see a man about a horse", when he really just wants to go out and get a good hit of frosty woodsmoke.


----------



## adrpga498 (Nov 11, 2008)

When during the shoulder season you check the 15 day forcast every 4 hours hoping it'l change colder.


----------



## BrotherBart (Nov 11, 2008)

When you constantly end up sleeping under just a sheet because Accuweather blew it and missed the low temp forecast by ten degrees. Again.


----------



## myzamboni (Nov 11, 2008)

When you are in a clothing store, that has some log pieces stacked in an ornate fashion for a display, and you point out to the wife that there's 3-4 days firewood just sitting there.

You then proceed to ask the store manager when the display is coming down and if anyone has laid claim to the wood.


----------



## JustWood (Nov 11, 2008)

...... you make a career out of processing and delivering wood.


----------



## fossil (Nov 11, 2008)

LEES WOOD-CO said:
			
		

> ...... you make a career out of processing and delivering wood.



I don't see the word "burn" in there anywhere, Lee.      Rick


----------



## JustWood (Nov 11, 2008)

fossil said:
			
		

> LEES WOOD-CO said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I think I just got burned! hh:


----------



## LLigetfa (Nov 12, 2008)

You know you're a real wood burner when you are totally oblivious that "lighting up" could also have a very different meaning.

Yeah man!

Then again, maybe you remember "lighting up" while working on that wood pile and wondering why it has a ramshackle look to it.


----------



## Deep Fryer (Nov 12, 2008)

lazeedan said:
			
		

> when it's November and you are disapointed by 70 degree days.


Great thread, I'm probably a bit late to the party (as always) but that is funny! One of many of course. :lol:


----------



## countrybois (Nov 12, 2008)

......when everyone else's house seems cold.


----------



## BrotherBart (Nov 12, 2008)

...you don't have hair on the back of your hands from November to May every year.


----------



## Redox (Nov 13, 2008)

.....you get in the car in the morning to go to work and notice your hands smell like woodsmoke from reloading the stove on the way out the door.

.....you keep sniffing the back of your hand on the way to work and find it relaxing!

Chris


----------



## Valhalla (Nov 13, 2008)

When you sniff your wood stacks and smile!


----------



## bears12th (Nov 13, 2008)

When you say, "oooohhhhh, secondary burn achieved!!" and your wife runs into the family room with burn cream and gauze.  I can't figure out if I should be flatter she cares about my well being or upset because she doesn't care about the Jotul.


----------



## LLigetfa (Nov 13, 2008)

When you can tell the moisture by touch and smell and don't need a moisture meter or laser thermometer.


----------



## fallsfire36 (Nov 13, 2008)

When you drive your truck into a tree while trying to scope out a freshly cut tree on the other side of the road...then end up getting both trees!


----------



## CowboyAndy (Nov 13, 2008)

Redox said:
			
		

> .....you get in the car in the morning to go to work and notice your hands smell like woodsmoke from reloading the stove on the way out the door.
> 
> .....you keep sniffing the back of your hand on the way to work and find it relaxing!
> 
> Chris



Have you been spying on me?!?!?!?!?!?




You know you are a real wood burner when your sister in law drops in crying because she needs someone to talk to about her really messy divorce, and you say "talk to me in the basement while i reload the woodstove", and 30 min later you don't know what she said because you were busy making sure it "took off"...

 :coolgrin:


----------



## Cory92 (Nov 13, 2008)

When you've read everyone of these posts as a relative newbie, and think to youself " These people are really cool." & " Maybe I'll be just like them by next shoulder season."


----------



## meathead (Nov 13, 2008)

When your wife is in the middle of cleaning the kitchen windows and mentions when you walk by that "the windows needed a good cleaning" ... and you instinctively get offended and remind her that once it gets up to cruising temp they'll clear right up.


----------



## CT-Mike (Nov 13, 2008)

When it is 35 degrees F outside, and the wife goes with you to reload the wood wagon from the HH, you pull the tarp off the top and it causes a couple of gallons of ice cold water to run down her shirt.


----------



## pulldownclaw (Nov 13, 2008)

When you're sitting here at work freezing on a cold rainy day wishing you were at home in front of the stove with the wife and kids.


----------



## Valhalla (Nov 14, 2008)

When your wood stove and it's glass is cleaner than your truck!


----------



## dreamingofvermont (Nov 14, 2008)

When your five year old son builds you a bunch of lincoln log houses and you take a look and see that each home has a chimney and its own neat little stack of wood nearby.

I am a newbie, but I think I already have my kid hooked!

Lisa
Clydesdale insert


----------



## n3pro (Nov 14, 2008)

When you get a dirty look from co-working riding with you because of your angry tone of voice as you pass a tree trimmers grinding up the tree branches for mulch as you say "what a senseless waste of good wood".

When you are scoping out warehouses for broken wood pallets (skids) and loading them up in the pouring rain.  

When you check out the wood stoves every time you go to the hardware store


----------



## cmonSTART (Nov 14, 2008)

pulldownclaw said:
			
		

> When you're sitting here at work freezing on a cold rainy day wishing you were at home in front of the stove with the wife and kids.



I hear that!


----------



## ScottF (Nov 15, 2008)

when you start having withdrawal tremors if you dont get a buzz by sticking your head in the stove and taking a big hit of smoke like it was a giant bong


----------



## tlhfirelion (Nov 15, 2008)

when you pass up dinner and a movie for your first burn in a new stove.    I did that and I can't wait until tomorrow.  I'm frigin giddy man.  lol


----------



## Riegel (Nov 15, 2008)

You go to someones home for a party and instead of having polite conversation with others you spend the whole evening playing with their wood stove.


----------



## Jimbob (Nov 15, 2008)

n3pro said:
			
		

> When you check out the wood stoves every time you go to the hardware store



I'm guilty of that! :lol:


----------



## MGC67 (Nov 15, 2008)

I actually do smell my wood stacks


----------



## jpl1nh (Nov 15, 2008)

Bigg_Redd said:
			
		

> . . .when you stop and snag a load of firewood left by the power company on the side of the road on the way to your wedding.


And you know she's a real wood burner when she marries you anyway. :lol:


----------



## jpl1nh (Nov 15, 2008)

bfunk13 said:
			
		

> You know your a wood burner when you open your gas bill and its under 50 bucks!


or you don't have a gas bill to open.


----------



## 8nrider (Nov 15, 2008)

live free and burn wood.


----------



## 8nrider (Nov 15, 2008)

if we can just get rid of our property tax!


----------



## xrayman (Nov 15, 2008)

tbuff said:
			
		

> You know you're a wood burner when.... You call home to check up on the wife and kids, and only ask how the is stove doin? (Ooops forgot about the wife and kids) :cheese:




guilty of that tonight lol.

You know you're a wood burner when your 9 yr old can rebuild a carbarator on a chain saw.


----------



## Redox (Nov 15, 2008)

Riegel said:
			
		

> You go to someones home for a party and instead of having polite conversation with others you spend the whole evening playing with their wood stove.



...you have friends that let you play with their wood stoves!   :cheese: 

Chris


----------



## jpl1nh (Nov 15, 2008)

8nrider said:
			
		

> live free and burn wood.


how about "live to burn free wood"?


----------



## Riegel (Nov 15, 2008)

Redox said:
			
		

> Riegel said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Sure, some even encourage it! Haven't you ever cheated on your wood stove?


----------



## Redox (Nov 15, 2008)

Riegel said:
			
		

> Redox said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'd be afraid of the repercussions.  Awwww, cmon, honey.  Give Daddy some sugar....  POOF; backdraft!

Chris


----------



## Girl (Nov 15, 2008)

cmonSTART said:
			
		

> pulldownclaw said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Agreed minus the wife part, lol.


----------



## adrpga498 (Nov 15, 2008)

When you pass a tree service truck on the road and see chips vs. rounds in the back and you feel what a waste that is.


----------



## NWfuel (Nov 15, 2008)

You are a serious woodburner when you have caught yourself talking to your wood.


----------



## LLigetfa (Nov 15, 2008)

When you're putting in a late night at work rebuilding a crashed server and the wife calls wondering when you'll be home and all you can say is "did you build a fire?" to which she complains of no light in the woodshed.

BTW, I got the server rebuilt by 10 PM and no, she didn't try making a fire.  Got home at 11 PM and went straight out to the woodshed to split up some smaller pieces in the dark.  Don't need no stinkin' light.  I'm sure there must be blind wood burners too.


----------



## Valhalla (Nov 16, 2008)

When you cut and stack your breakfast sausages like rounds and splits on your wood pile!


----------



## adrpga498 (Nov 16, 2008)

Wearing all the PPE during breakfast I hope. LOL your way too funny


----------



## Jimbob (Nov 16, 2008)

LLigetfa said:
			
		

> I'm sure there must be blind wood burners too.



There is, and they buy Blaze Kings! :lol:

Sorry, I know that wasn't called for........I just couldn't help myself..(bad Jim!).:lol:


----------



## BrotherBart (Nov 16, 2008)

When you buy one of those gag gift gallon sized coffee mugs so that you can brag that "I only got a coffee cup of creosote when I swept my chimney.".


----------



## LLigetfa (Nov 16, 2008)

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> When you buy one of those gag gift gallon sized coffee mugs so that you can brag that "I only got a coffee cup of creosote when I swept I chimney.".


LOL
But I only got a teacup... those dainty little ones you can only lift with your pinky held high.


----------



## Scamp (Nov 16, 2008)

.... when you live in California and it is mid November and the forecast is 80 degrees, and you build a fire anyway just to see if everything you've been reading on Hearth.com really works.  And then you get all excited because there is no smoke coming from the chimney.  

And then you open all the doors to cool the house down before the sun gets hot.
.


----------



## Biglumber (Nov 17, 2008)

It snows 2 feet and the only thing you clear is a path to the woodpile.

Drive through the mountains to go skiing with the family, but all you can think about is the "dead standing" pines.. right over there.

Re-stack the woodpile because your NFL team is stinking it up on the tube right now.

Maintain the saws, maul and grenades better than the wife's car.

Have a truck just for hauling wood. 

Put the biggest winch you can find on your truck because there is always more wood downhill.

Run across some nice rounds by the curb and realize your are in your car and your truck is at home.

Look at a freshly split and stacked pile and say "next year".


Peace


----------



## Valhalla (Nov 18, 2008)

When no other method heats your home as well!


----------



## Valhalla (Dec 5, 2008)

When... the neighbors identify you by the following on your property:

- Pickup truck, filled with logs

- Tractor 

- Trailer

- Unsplit wood

- Split wood, yet to be stacked by the wife ;>)

- Untold stacks of wood

- Path in the snow to the wood stove room door

- And... almost no visible smoke from the chimney!


----------



## BrotherBart (Dec 5, 2008)

Goldenearringz said:
			
		

> Your utility company replaces your meter because you are not giving them enough money anymore lol



Every two years just like clockwork they come out and replace my meter. You would think the fact that they have to walk past 9-12 cords of wood when they do it would give them a clue.


----------



## Redox (Dec 5, 2008)

...when the utility company calls because they can't get to your meter due to all the wood in the back yard, you know you're a Woodneck! :coolsmile: 

Chris


----------



## ScottF (Dec 5, 2008)

When the oil company calls you to complain that someone removed the oil fill pipes on the back of the house and they cant deliver.   

This just happened to me,  I got a little chuckle out of it.  I was the culprit.


----------



## barnartist (Dec 5, 2008)

...both times a season your wife offers to check the outdoor boiler on her way to work, and even though you are comfortable in bed, tell her not to because she might mess it up.


----------



## barnartist (Dec 5, 2008)

...you buy the latest "Dora The Explorer" DVD so your yungins will be entertained long enough to go tend to the fire. Also "Sponge Bob" works well for this too, so you tend to the fire at the proper programming time...


----------



## kenny chaos (Dec 5, 2008)

....you do every freakin' thing on these nine ridiculous pages?


----------



## brooktrout (Dec 5, 2008)

Redox said:
			
		

> ...when the utility company calls because they can't get to your meter due to all the wood in the back yard, you know you're a Woodneck! :coolsmile:
> 
> Chris



Woodneck! LMFAO :lol:


----------



## Redox (Dec 6, 2008)

brooktrout said:
			
		

> Redox said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It has to be said with a Jeff Foxworthy type accent...

C


----------



## Tudorman (Dec 6, 2008)

Bigg_Redd said:
			
		

> . . .when you stop and snag a load of firewood left by the power company on the side of the road on the way to your wedding.


That, my friend, is hard core.


----------



## BrowningBAR (Dec 6, 2008)

I just got a letter from my oil company informing me that there appears to be something wrong with my oil tank as it is still reading "full". They have asked me to check the tank to be sure it is functioning properly.

I DID inform them that I installed a wood stove. I guess they forgot.


----------



## LLigetfa (Dec 6, 2008)

ScottF said:
			
		

> When the oil company calls you to complain that someone removed the oil fill pipes on the back of the house and they cant deliver...


There have been reports of people removing their tank but not the fill pipe and the oil company pumping oil into their basement.  It is good that you DID remove it!


----------



## justneedit (Dec 7, 2008)

...the cap on your fuel oil fill pipe has rusted on!!


----------



## justneedit (Dec 7, 2008)

...you've recently had your 57th birthday and you've been burning wood for almost 2/3s of your life!!


----------



## Chief Ryan (Dec 7, 2008)

When you talk to your wood pile.


----------



## Crabbypatty (Dec 7, 2008)

If you join forum on wood burning and read a nine page post like this one. you might be a woodneck.


----------



## andybaker (Dec 7, 2008)

When your wife accuses you of having an affair - with your wood pile.
When I reply - it's all about my stove, she's HOT!


----------



## karri0n (Dec 8, 2008)

When you DON'T think that the other thread says "Stroking in the middle of the night" at first glance.


----------



## coffeedogz3 (Dec 8, 2008)

When I tell my husband I need some wood and ...umm.... he goes to the basment instead of upstairs.      ;-)


----------



## Chief Ryan (Dec 8, 2008)

When my wife accuses me of having an affair with the spider in the wood pile!


----------



## meathead (Dec 8, 2008)

When over the summer you get nice cool well water out of the tap, but when winter rolls around you need to run the faucet for a while to get the warm water out of the pipes.


----------



## trapshooter9 (Dec 9, 2008)

When your wife and teenage daughter have a good laugh at your expense (and call you a freak) after they find that your digital camera is loaded with pictures of your wood stacks and new wood stove.


----------



## dvellone (Dec 9, 2008)

when your wife is thumbing through the Victoria's Secret catalog trying to get your input on what to buy and you're gawking at the woodstove  telling her to just LOOK at that secondary burn!


----------



## bbeals (Dec 9, 2008)

When you are paying $300+ per cord of wood and you can still smile while looking at the pile to be stacked.


----------



## J Douglas (Dec 9, 2008)

When you finally register as a member to Hearth.Com First Post HaHa


----------



## awoodman (Dec 9, 2008)

When you debate on parking the fishing boat outside( the large add-on to the garage) to make room for several more cords to stock-pile up for the next few years.
When you have access to free wood and can't get enough and can't say no.
When you druel over trees laying in the woods you just can't get(big fat oak ones) down a  steep ravene you dream of winching out some-how.
Then you know you are HOOKED sitting on you're ATV in the woods lusting over all that standing dead timber enough to make you cry...


----------



## 67ref (Dec 9, 2008)

- when your wife's a loggers daughter and she taught you everything!


----------



## CowboyAndy (Dec 9, 2008)

You know you are a woodneck when you will get out of bed at 2am to reload, but stay in when your wife "hears a noise".


----------



## Skooter (Dec 9, 2008)

When you have a sign on your fron door in the middle of winter that says "bathing suits optional"


----------



## kwikrp (Dec 9, 2008)

use your stove matches to light your kids birthday candles


----------



## karri0n (Dec 9, 2008)

When you really burn wood ;-)


----------



## Jags (Dec 9, 2008)

Digger Pine said:
			
		

> When you finally register as a member to Hearth.Com First Post HaHa



Or when you have been on hearth.com for going on 3 years and you still get a good feeling answering the question "why is my glass getting black"......... for the 50th time.


----------



## northwinds (Dec 9, 2008)

when you're on vacation in Bermuda in December and you:

1)  keep checking hearth.com from the hotel's business center;
2) keep checking the local Wisconsin weather and cuss when you see how cold it is,
and the furnace is running to keep the pipes from freezing;
3) go out to eat a a Bermuda restaurant and enjoy a Cuban cigar in front of the chimenea
in the parking lot while daydreaming about your real wood stove back home; and
4) hunt down the owner to ask what kind of wood he's burning in the chimenea.


----------



## Redox (Dec 9, 2008)

northwinds said:
			
		

> when you're on vacation in Bermuda in December and you:
> 
> 1)  keep checking hearth.com from the hotel's business center;
> 2) keep checking the local Wisconsin weather and cuss when you see how cold it is,
> ...



That wouldn't be at the Swizzle Inn, would it?

Drink a Dark and Stormy for me!

Chris


----------



## northwinds (Dec 9, 2008)

Redox said:
			
		

> northwinds said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Never got to the Swizzle Inn; this was Tom Moore's Tavern.

I got back on Sunday, but I had multiple Dark and Stormy's last week.  I'll be looking for decent ginger beer after
bringing some Gosling's Black Seal home in the suitcase.  It was a beautiful island, but I'd go broke if I stayed too long.


----------



## Malatesta (Dec 9, 2008)

When you split your wood and smell it, i love the smell of fresh split red oak !


----------



## zryderman (Dec 10, 2008)

When you split so much wood  you can barely get to the front door of your house.  Then you look at the pile and think is this enough.  Only to realize you just want to take the super split log splitter out one more time just to play....becasue you are addicted to wood.


----------



## leaf4952 (Dec 10, 2008)

Redox said:
			
		

> ...when the utility company calls because they can't get to your meter due to all the wood in the back yard, you know you're a Woodneck! :coolsmile:
> 
> Chris





Ahhaha ahaha ha ! Is there any doubt about any of us being a woodneck ?


----------



## Techstuf (Dec 10, 2008)

......Your 4 year old daughter, tongue almost touching her nose, barely manages to drag the splitting maul to your feet...and then, arms crossed and chin to chest, looks up at you with all the conviction she can muster, and offers to help split that stubborn piece of cured Ash you've just given up on.



TS


----------



## 188560 (Dec 10, 2008)

Hosting a party for your kid's graduation you point at your wood pile and boast "There's my pride and joy".


----------



## Slow1 (Dec 10, 2008)

When you get excited reading about the potential for "downed branches and trees" in the details of the "Ice Storm Warning" in tonights weather forecast... and smile thinking about how the power failures won't bother you nearly as much this year as last year


----------



## karri0n (Dec 10, 2008)

When you make a thread called "You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When…" and it gets 218+ replies


----------



## Techstuf (Dec 10, 2008)

LOL@ Ash.....Cold....but enthusiastic.


TS


----------



## BrotherBart (Dec 10, 2008)

karri0n said:
			
		

> When you make a thread called "You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When…" and it gets 218+ replies



And over 6,000 page views. I start this thread every year and it has never run this long.  :lol:


----------



## leaf4952 (Dec 10, 2008)

Woodcrib said:
			
		

> When you split your wood and smell it, i love the smell of fresh split red oak !



Ditto, I'm always smelling my wood. My kids think I'm wierd. It's part pleasure, part learning.


----------



## leaf4952 (Dec 10, 2008)

glassmanjpf said:
			
		

> You open up your cell phone and there is a video of your wood burning stove.



Ah, sh*t, I only got a still shot of my stove as my cell phone wallpaper ! I'd better get with the program !


----------



## leaf4952 (Dec 10, 2008)

ilikewood said:
			
		

> cannonballcobb said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm up for that !  I might need some time to figure out how to upload video from my cell phone & post it to the site. What date are you ladies shooting for - for posting the "WOMAN WOOD SPLITTING" videos ?  I say "Woman" instead of wives because not all of us are wives. But I certainly would warm up my swinger & shoulders for that ! I'd like to see some of these guys hand splitting in freezing temps, at nite, not missing or needed to take more than one hit. You get points for form, points for tenacity, and points for not getting wife or kids to help !


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## leaf4952 (Dec 10, 2008)

Dill said:
			
		

> That post made me remember this. A popular yearly joke on a another Forum I'm active on.
> Vertically stacked, symetrical pieces get covered by a monogramed, custom tailored, canvas sail cloth wood stack cover I special ordered from Pottery Barn. It looks very professional.
> For the assymetrical "stacks", I prefer a more down-home feel. These are protecetd by hand crocheted wool wood pile cozies I made from yarn I spun from wool sheared from a neighbor's sheep. A nice, personal touch.
> Wood piles, they're a "good thing".....



WOW !  Martha would be proud !  Are you sure you don't live in Westchester County NY or Darien, Conn ? he he


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## stoveguy2esw (Dec 11, 2008)

you picket the "lumberjack " competitions and chastize the "hotsaw" competitors  for cutting the logs so close to the end  instead of at regular 18" intervals as real woodcutters should


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## stoveguy2esw (Dec 11, 2008)

you follow the state trucks around and ask them to stack the lengths they cut along the road for easy loading


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## bigdog (Dec 11, 2008)

Very funny thread. I seem to have alot in common with everybody. I look at my chimney smoke 4 times a day. My woodpile 10 times a day.  And I dont like warm winter days anymore.  I also notice every dead and downed tree everywhere I drive and think how good it would look on my woodpile.


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## Jersey Fire Bug (Dec 11, 2008)

You know you are a woodburner when you rear-end the car in front of you
because your eyes were on a couple logs on the side of the road that needs to be scounged.


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## CowboyAndy (Dec 11, 2008)

You know you are a woodneck when 90% of your conversations with the wife start with "well, on this website i go to about wood burning, i read..."


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## karri0n (Dec 11, 2008)

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> karri0n said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




At this rate, you won't need to make it again next year...


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## awoodman (Dec 11, 2008)

When you are so in tune with the heating of you're house, that the sound of the furnace kicking on throws you into a panic. 

And if the furnace kicks on in the midle-of-the-nite it wakes you up from a dead sleep thinking what's wrong.


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## ScottF (Dec 11, 2008)

> When you are so in tune with the heating of you’re house, that the sound of the furnace kicking on throws you into a panic.
> 
> And if the furnace kicks on in the midle-of-the-nite it wakes you up from a dead sleep thinking what’s wrong.



And you start shaking violently when you hear it with symptoms not unlike those from the delirium tremors.

Hey awoodman, I would love to see photos and hear about the wood boat you built and painted. Here is one I built and painted last year for my kids. Maybe should take it offline since it is not hearth related.


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## 67ref (Dec 15, 2008)

Now why couldn't you have been my dad while I was growing up?
making toys like that ...


look like a lot of fun, good job !


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## Chettt (Dec 15, 2008)

When you go away for two days at Thanksgiving and your natural gas bill doubles.


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## leaf4952 (Dec 18, 2008)

pyro68 said:
			
		

> if you've ever camped out by your wood pile with a shotgun . . . . :lol:



Not quite !  . . . .  but I've marked the side of the shed as to the level of my woodpile and kept a close eye on the footprints on the back end of my property while watching when a certain neighbor runs out. I wish I had 10 acres at least and a few more dogs. I usually find neighbors throwing stumps illegally onto my property. Some are not true woodburners. I walk right up to their front doors & set em straight: ASK ME FIRST ! I inform them of  I'll take their unwanted wood under certain conditions. But they may not just dump possibly rotted wood on my property. They all want nice dry ready-to-go, but don't want the work of anything else they have for WHATEVER reasons!  Yeah, . . . I'm very protective of my woodpile !


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## kjayhawk (Dec 19, 2008)

When your kids race to stand in front of the stove the moment they return home!


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## Valhalla (Dec 19, 2008)

When... your winter life at home, almost revolves around the wood stove!

Does it get any better? 

Yes, we will soon be looking forward to spring!


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