# I Have An Unsuspecting Slug Snoozing  On A Piece Of Firewood ..



## Dix (Nov 22, 2011)

That I just brought in form outside.

*cackles madly with hand wringing*

 ;-)


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## kbrown (Nov 22, 2011)

I hear that the slug is mother nature's moisture meter!  ;-P  If there's one on the split, it's still too wet to burn!


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## Dix (Nov 22, 2011)

Ha !

It's toast. Ever step on one on your bare feet??   >:-( 

Toast, I say !!


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## Thistle (Nov 22, 2011)

Snap.Crackle.POP!


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## Battenkiller (Nov 22, 2011)

Open a can of beer and drink most of it.  Leave about an inch on the bottom and put it out by your wood pile (or garden).  Next morning, go out to get the can.  It will have several slugs in it.

Wait... no use wasting beer, even a little on the bottom....

OK... Open a can of Natty Light.  Pour most of it on the ground.  Leave an inch on the bottom and put it out by your wood pile (or garden).  Next morning, go out to get the can.  It will have an inch of Natty light in it, but nothing else.

Damn... even slugs won't touch the stuff.  ;-P


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## PapaDave (Nov 22, 2011)

Just burn 'em, Eileen. 
We used to give the boy a salt shaker and a flashlight to dispatch the little buggers.


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## BrotherBart (Nov 22, 2011)

Battenkiller said:
			
		

> OK... Open a can of Natty Light.  Pour most of it on the ground.  Leave an inch on the bottom and put it out by your wood pile (or garden).  Next morning, go out to get the can.  It will have an inch of Natty light in it, but nothing else.
> 
> Damn... even slugs won't touch the stuff.  ;-P



 >:-(


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## Woody Stover (Nov 22, 2011)

How do you know if it's snoozing or if it's at a dead run? It _is_ a slug after all...


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## Woody Stover (Nov 22, 2011)

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> Battenkiller said:
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I was under the impression that you didn't like it either. I seem to remember a pic posted by you showing a 12-pack about to be torched in your stove...


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## snowleopard (Nov 22, 2011)

I have an unsuspecting Slug 
on some disputed firewood split
whose Carcass will explode and spit 
some Natty Light into the air.
I have an unsuspecting Slug--
snoozing, running--I don't care.

It may be I shall take my hand, 
Toss him him in the stove and 
squint my eyes and hold my breath
And watch until the thing explodes.

I have an unsuspecting slug.
When Spring comes round again this year  
And the first meadow-flowers appear.    
The slug will likely not be here. 

God knows 'twere better to be deep   
Pillowed in punk and scented bark, 
Where girl slugs throb in blissful sleep,  
Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,
Where hushed awakenings are dear...  

But I've an unsuspecting slug. 
This morning in my flaming stove,  
When next I open up the door
And I to my pledged word am true, 
My little slug shall be no more.


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## Shari (Nov 22, 2011)

Woody Stover said:
			
		

> How do you know if it's snoozing or if it's at a dead run? It _is_ a slug after all...



Alright!  That there just cracked me up!!


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## woodchip (Nov 22, 2011)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> Ha !
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> It's toast. Ever step on one on your bare feet??   >:-(
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> Toast, I say !!



Worst experience ever, they always go up between your toes and just die in a heap of slime. 

I say instant cremation is the way to go  ;-)


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## quercus_kelloggii (Nov 22, 2011)

escargot?  Haha.  Burn baby burn .


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## RNLA (Nov 22, 2011)

Wow, POET LORIAT or however you spell that really good poet title....LAUREATE maybe?


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## Gary_602z (Nov 22, 2011)

A little butter and some garlic and the problem is solved! :lol: 

Gary


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## Dix (Nov 22, 2011)

woodchip said:
			
		

> Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
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Not to worry, the cremation service was performed just after 10 last night. Murph's my witness


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## begreen (Nov 23, 2011)

Glad I wasn't downwind. :-/ 

We have superslugs out here 6-8" long. You _really_ know when you've stepped on one of them. 

snowleopard, great poem! Or do you have a tune behind that ditty?


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## snowleopard (Nov 23, 2011)

BeGreen said:
			
		

> Glad I wasn't downwind. :-/
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> We have superslugs out here 6-8" long. You _really_ know when you've stepped on one of them.
> 
> snowleopard, great poem! Or do you have a tune behind that ditty?



How about a story instead?   This was written by Alan Seeger. 1888â€“1916, who died as he predicted in the following poem, in battle.  Interesting aside, his brother was the father of Pete Seeger.   I did not begin to do the rhyme scheme justice, but it came bubbling up, so I wrote it down.  Here's the amazing original (John F. Kennedy's favorite poem, ironic that, who died 48 years ago today).  


"I Have a Rendezvous with Death"

I HAVE a rendezvous with Death     
At some disputed barricade,     
When Spring comes back with rustling shade     
And apple-blossoms fill the airâ€”     
I have a rendezvous with Death             5
When Spring brings back blue days and fair.     

It may be he shall take my hand     
And lead me into his dark land     
And close my eyes and quench my breathâ€”     
It may be I shall pass him still.      10
I have a rendezvous with Death     
On some scarred slope of battered hill,     
When Spring comes round again this year     
And the first meadow-flowers appear.     

God knows 'twere better to be deep      15
Pillowed in silk and scented down,     
Where love throbs out in blissful sleep,     
Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,     
Where hushed awakenings are dear...     
But I've a rendezvous with Death      20
At midnight in some flaming town,     
When Spring trips north again this year,     
And I to my pledged word am true,     
I shall not fail that rendezvous.


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## Dix (Nov 23, 2011)

Snow, you're making me think, and that's a good thing

Thanks for sharing that.


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## snowleopard (Nov 23, 2011)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> Snow, you're making me think, and that's a good thing
> 
> Thanks for sharing that.



to which we hear a faint, sluggy voice comment: "Yeah, finally.  Fat lot of good that does me now . . . "  :lol:


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## Dix (Nov 23, 2011)

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
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"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." Robert Benchley


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## Boom Stick (Nov 23, 2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjWYhXrC0-c

Reminds me of this.  I use this when I teach WW1 to my us history class.





			
				snowleopard said:
			
		

> I have an unsuspecting Slug
> on some disputed firewood split
> whose Carcass will explode and spit
> some Natty Light into the air.
> ...


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## fishingpol (Nov 23, 2011)

It's not a slug, but a snail I made out of cherry burl that was destined to be firewood.  I won't burn it though ...


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## Dix (Nov 23, 2011)

fishingpol said:
			
		

> It's not a slug, but a snail I made out of cherry burl that was destined to be firewood.  I won't burn it though ...




Do not burn that.


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## Danno77 (Nov 23, 2011)

This is me partaking of "free range escargot", otherwise referred to as "chewy-salty-peppery", on a 5 day hike in the GSMNP...


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## firefighterjake (Nov 23, 2011)

Danno77 said:
			
		

> This is me partaking of "free range escargot", otherwise referred to as "chewy-salty-peppery", on a 5 day hike in the GSMNP...



Tastes like chicken?


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## Danno77 (Nov 23, 2011)

firefighterjake said:
			
		

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Pretty much devoid of taste, so we added salt and pepper, hence the name


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## Jags (Nov 23, 2011)

Okay, this entire thread has cracked me up. :lol:   Thanks for the sunshine.


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## gerry100 (Nov 23, 2011)

Even PITA doesn't like slugs


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## Dix (Nov 23, 2011)

Danno, I got 1 word for ya ....Y U C K *shudders*

Disgusting WC, I agree. And so hard to scrub off  >:-( 

Silly stuff that makes your day a little better is a good thing, Jags !!


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## Jags (Nov 23, 2011)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> Silly stuff that makes your day a little better is a good thing, Jags !!



I wood agree.


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## Dix (Nov 23, 2011)

BrotherBart said:
			
		

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There, there, BB. It's ok.

*I just saw this*


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## Dix (Nov 23, 2011)

Jags said:
			
		

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I figured a few wood.


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## BrotherBart (Nov 24, 2011)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

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It's OK. I brought home some of that Yuengling everybody was talking about a few days ago. After one I am having to apply a little application of Glenfiddich to get the taste of that crap out of my mouth.  hh:


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## Dix (Nov 24, 2011)

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
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Could be an interesting evening


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## begreen (Nov 24, 2011)

We used Pabst this summer in our beds. Appears to work fairly well. But then again so did some O'Douls that we have had here forever and no one would touch it.


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## BrotherBart (Nov 24, 2011)

Ah yes. PBR. It was twenty cents a can at the NCO club in the RVN. Dollar eighty a case at the PX in Cam Rahn Bay. Near the end of the month...

My favorite was Carling Black Label. Not to drink. But the crap was everywhere. Rusting in piles of pallets. Everywhere. After I got home I read about a general getting busted for taking kickbacks from Carling.


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## snowleopard (Nov 24, 2011)

BeGreen said:
			
		

> We used Pabst this summer in our beds. Appears to work fairly well. But then again so did some O'Douls that we have had here forever and no one would touch it.



On the third reading, I figured out he meant garden beds . . .


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