# You might be a firewood junkie...



## Cross Cut Saw (May 4, 2013)

If you take your kid to his first t-ball practice and can't help but wonder how many cords you could fit in the dugout...


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## Gark (May 4, 2013)

If you spend your vacation days off work "doing firewood".


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## gzecc (May 4, 2013)

Cross Cut Saw said:


> If you take your kid to his first t-ball practice and can't help but wonder how many cords you could fit in the dugout...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Thats funny!


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## tigeroak (May 4, 2013)

OR when you pass a woods in your truck and your finger forms a backwards C if you are right handed or if you are left handed it will form a C and you try to give it gas.


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## ScotO (May 4, 2013)

Gark said:


> If you spend your vacation days off work "doing firewood".


Oh, man.  THAT is a good one!!


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## ScotO (May 4, 2013)

If you go on vacation and after the 10 hour drive to get there, your neck is sore from turning and looking at standing deads along the road, and woodstacks in people's backyards.......yes, I know this from experience.....


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## bogydave (May 4, 2013)

That is a wood shed. 
Nice one too.  4.5 cords


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## rdust (May 4, 2013)

Gark said:


> If you spend your vacation days off work "doing firewood".


 
I actually do this every year.  I don't like taking away from my family anymore than I have to so this helps with that.  I have a bunch of wood to deal with right now, as soon as I get a few projects off my desk I plan to take some time.


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## Knots (May 5, 2013)

If you almost get in as many accidents from looking on the side of the road for firewood as you do from looking at pretty girls...


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## Knots (May 5, 2013)

If the smell of red oak excites the same part of your brain as the smell of fresh 20 dollar bills...


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## bodhran (Nov 16, 2016)

A little over 16 cord.


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## excessads (Nov 16, 2016)

Gark said:


> If you spend your vacation days off work "doing firewood".



In my case, it' if you spend your working days during work hours thinking about "C/S/S-ing firewood" and browsing hearth updates on tapatalk whenever new messages pop up.


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## CheapBassTurd (Nov 17, 2016)

*Two days in the 70's in November *and you (me)  get up at 2 like a hunter/ fisher just to be ready
at first light to start rammin' the splitter full speed two straight days even tho 2 years ahead.


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## kennyp2339 (Nov 17, 2016)

When you have a specific cell phone ring tone for hearth updates..


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## CentralVAWoodHeat (Nov 17, 2016)

When every time you have a contractor out to your house, they try to barter their work for one of your stacks of wood....and you'd rather pay in cash so you don't have to part with any of it.


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## Rockey (Nov 18, 2016)

When on family vacation in Florida, you cant stop eyeballing the palm trees wondering the BTU's. After hiring a moving company to haul some dead weight back to your home you cut and split that sucker up. When you get home, you unload the rounds out of the minivan as the moving company pulls up with your family. Your wife mutters something about counseling as you hand her the maul with "that look".


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## johneh (Nov 18, 2016)

When you spend the whole deer season with your rifle slung over your shoulder
and a roll of tape in your hand marking trees to take out this winter !


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## STIHLY DAN (Nov 18, 2016)

When your 10 years ahead and you get a boner seeing some downed bark-less black locust to get.


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## Ctwoodtick (Nov 18, 2016)

STIHLY DAN said:


> When your 10 years ahead and you get a boner seeing some downed bark-less black locust to get.



You said boner, hehe


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## excessads (Nov 18, 2016)

My co-workers was talking with another guy 10 ft away, my ears perked up, Wood?!  What said wood?  Free wood?  Where are they?  Turned out he was saying when he's in woods hunting...lol


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## Jeffm1 (Nov 19, 2016)

Rockey said:


> ....Your wife mutters something about counseling as you hand her the maul with "that look".



You mean the Evil Look of Black Death?


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## Rockey (Nov 19, 2016)

Jeffm1 said:


> You mean the Evil Look of Black Death?



So Im told, I dare not look her straight in the eye.


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## begreen (Nov 19, 2016)

bodhran said:


> View attachment 188149
> 
> A little over 16 cord.


That's hard core junkie there.


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## Jeffm1 (Nov 19, 2016)

Rockey said:


> So Im told, I dare not look her straight in the eye.


Indeed. I know exactly what you mean. Might turn to stone or something.


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## HisTreeNut (Nov 20, 2016)

you might be a firewood junkie if you constantly talk about the piles in your yard, and you do not own a dog...


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## CincyBurner (Nov 20, 2016)

. . . when you your ears prick up at the sound of a wood chipper and you have a strong autonomic response to investigate.


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## Hasufel (Nov 20, 2016)

...when your first thought after a windy night is "gee, I hope something good came down."


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## TheAardvark (Nov 20, 2016)

....when you snort lines of sawdust


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## kennyp2339 (Nov 20, 2016)

when even your dress pants pockets have chainsaw chips in them.


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## Sprinter (Nov 20, 2016)

When your spouse complains that he/she can't get out of the back door anymore.


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## Oldman47 (Nov 24, 2016)

tigeroak said:


> OR when you pass a woods in your truck and your finger forms a backwards C if you are right handed or if you are left handed it will form a C and you try to give it gas.


No chance of that for me. I will be riding by and my right hand will already be curled into a C shape to hold the throttle on my bike.


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## Ashful (Nov 24, 2016)

CheapBassTurd said:


> *Two days in the 70's in November *and you (me)  get up at 2 like a hunter/ fisher just to be ready
> at first light to start rammin' the splitter full speed two straight days even tho 2 years ahead.


That will be me, the next three days!  Every year, the entirety of Black Friday and Thanksgiving weekend is set aside for wood splitting.  Those who've been here a few years remember the "missing finger incident of 2012", on this very weekend.


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## Ashful (Nov 24, 2016)

Sprinter said:


> When your spouse complains that he/she can't get out of the back door anymore.


(Insert favorite fat joke, here)


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## HisTreeNut (Nov 25, 2016)

You might be a firewood junkie if you are out to dinner with your wife and you get a funny look from the waitress as you talk about the nice pieces of ash you sawed the other day...


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## JP11 (Nov 26, 2016)

What is this 'stacking' I hear people talking about?



This is how I moved some wood today.


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## HisTreeNut (Nov 26, 2016)

Now that is a woodstack! ! !


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## baseroom (Nov 26, 2016)

CincyBurner said:


> . . . when you your ears prick up at the sound of a wood chipper and you have a strong autonomic response to investigate.


 I Go!


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## cygnus (Nov 27, 2016)

...when the state trooper says, "You can't take wood from the side of the highway."  And your first instinct is to ask, 'Why not?"


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## Dobish (Nov 28, 2016)

when you reload your stove before you go to bed, but then stay up for 3 hours to watch the fire.


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## Dobish (Nov 28, 2016)

or when you ask your 4 year old what his favorite part of the day was and he says "working on wood with papa"


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## FTG-05 (Nov 28, 2016)

Dobish said:


> or when you ask your 4 year old what his favorite part of the day was and he says "working on wood with papa"




How much for the kid?  I'll give him back when he turns into a teenager and stops helping with the wood.


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## KindredSpiritzz (Nov 30, 2016)

when the first thing out of people mouths when they see your back yard is "do you have enough wood back here ? "
Do they really expect me to say YES ?? Drives me nuts.  I may run out of room but i'll never have enough wood.


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## HisTreeNut (Dec 1, 2016)

You might be a firewood junkie if your co-workers ask you what you are doing after Thanksgiving and you reply, "Mauling," to which they reply, " I thought you hated shopping on Black Friday..."


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## infinitymike (Dec 1, 2016)

When you're known around town and even out of town as "that guy with all the wood in his driveway and backyard"


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## infinitymike (Dec 1, 2016)

or when your son has to take his prom photos in front of your wood racks


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## Dobish (Dec 5, 2016)

when you get up on your roof to measure something and end up taking a panorama of the entire yard so you can figure out where to put wood


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## infinitymike (Dec 5, 2016)

Dobish said:


> when you get up on your roof to measure something and end up taking a panorama of the entire yard so you can figure out where to put wood



You mean like this....


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## Dobish (Dec 5, 2016)

i was thinking more like this:


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## kennyp2339 (Dec 12, 2016)

When you put on a white lab coat, log onto hearth.com to explain the difference between rain wet wood and green wet wood.


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## English BoB (Dec 13, 2016)

Cross Cut Saw said:


> If you take your kid to his first t-ball practice and can't help but wonder how many cords you could fit in the dugout...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Gf dropped flowers on a grave tonight, as we drove out there was hickory, hickory, cherry, a large ash some small maple...................................

bob


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## infinitymike (Dec 13, 2016)

When you have so much split wood,  your friends think nothing of asking for a load, like I ask them for their heating oil or for them to pipe their NG over to me


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## Ashful (Dec 14, 2016)

infinitymike said:


> When you have so much split wood,  your friends think nothing of asking for a load, like I ask them for their heating oil or for them to pipe their NG over to me


Thank you for posting that.  I now know exactly what I'm going to say next time someone asks me for some firewood.  It happens too frequently, and I always cave.


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## Hasufel (Dec 15, 2016)

...when you go outside on the coldest day of the year to see if frozen rounds really pop right open like everyone says they do. Spoiler alert: they didn't for me, at least I noticed no real difference (on some big red oak) except that my maul seemed to bounce off a lot. I did manage to get one round split before my fingers went completely numb. Color me disappointed!


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## FaithfulWoodsman (Dec 15, 2016)

Hasufel said:


> when you go outside on the coldest day of the year to see if frozen rounds really pop right open like everyone says they do. Spoiler alert: they didn't for me, at least I noticed no real difference (on some big red oak) except that my maul seemed to bounce off a lot. I did manage to get one round split before my fingers went completely numb. Color me disappointed!


Whaaaaa? Das crazy. I split a small wheelbarrow full of osage tonight and it popped apart like ash for me. it always seems like  bitter cold make every split easier. Bummer.


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## HisTreeNut (Dec 15, 2016)

You might be a firewood junkie if you have built yourself a new carport...





[I did not do this...the picture was sent to me because I can appreciate it...]


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## Ashful (Dec 16, 2016)

HisTreeNut said:


> You might be a firewood junkie if you have built yourself a new carport...
> 
> View attachment 190490
> 
> ...


I have a neighbor with a two-car version of that.


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## CheapBassTurd (Dec 20, 2016)

Same here on post #51, Mike.

Peeps see my "wood wall" and ask for bonfirewood.  WHAT?  "That's not for bonfires!"
"That nasty ugly pile in the firepit and next to it is."   "You can have as much of that as you want."

Yes, I cave too when it comes to lazy stovers, but they don't get much.  LOL   
Hazards of being a nice guy.   (Someone truly in need I'll load up to the gills but that's a God thing.)


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## Flame On (Dec 21, 2016)

Your neighbors casually mention that they are taking down their monster ash tomorrow. You run inside to call out of work and then spend the whole next day hauling rounds back across the street as fast as the tree guys can buck them. As you're tipping the guys for their help one says, "man are you gonna be tired tomorrow." You go ahead and call out the next day 'cause when you get up you can't move!


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## Dobish (Dec 21, 2016)

when you show up with a truck full of locust and tell your wife she has a present. When she finds out its wood, she gets upset until you say "well, I was going to bring you a pile of cash, but that doesn't keep you warm for very long in the stove"


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## CheapBassTurd (Dec 22, 2016)

.....When my daughter asks why I was driving so slow down a country road and I told her
that I hadn't been down this street yet and had to see if there was anything available to load up.  LOL


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## CheapBassTurd (Dec 23, 2016)

You might be a hardcore stover if your butter plate looks like this !!


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## Ashful (Dec 24, 2016)

When you install a pair of floodlights on the ROPS of your tractor for the express purpose of chainsawing and splitting at night.


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## HisTreeNut (Dec 24, 2016)

You might be a firewood junkie if you and your "Know-it-all neighbor" have a holzhaufen contest to see who can build a better one...
His:




Yours:


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## Hasufel (Jan 7, 2017)

FaithfulWoodsman said:


> Whaaaaa? Das crazy. I split a small wheelbarrow full of osage tonight and it popped apart like ash for me. it always seems like  bitter cold make every split easier. Bummer.


I tried again today (now that it's even colder) and think I figured out what's going on. I had a bunch of smaller poplar & maple rounds to work on and those popped apart for me, like you and others described. (Is that why they call it pop-lar??? ) The stuff I'm having trouble with is a dense red oak. It's still sopping wet inside so trying to split it while frozen is like hammering a solid block of ice. Guess I'll be holding off on that until it warms up later in the week.


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## CheapBassTurd (Jan 8, 2017)

I got depressed when the wife asked me to run the AEP machine "just for a few minutes" until
the stove took off this morning.

Bummer dudes.  Guess ya gotta make sure it still works n' blow the dust out.

(We actually do this every few weeks for ten minutes)


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## Ctwoodtick (Jan 8, 2017)

To piggy back the last one, when your wife says that maybe the upstairs bedroom could have door shut with the electric heat on with it being so cold tonight....and you get a panicky feel, redouble your pitch for the woodstove and you win out because she realizes you're a lunatic about this stuff.


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## Easy Livin’ 3000 (Jan 8, 2017)

Ashful said:


> Thank you for posting that.  I now know exactly what I'm going to say next time someone asks me for some firewood.  It happens too frequently, and I always cave.


Don't do that Ashful!  It's nice to share with friends.  Rack up those good karma points.

 Between that and your excellent stash of exotic brew, why do you think they are hanging around?


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## Easy Livin’ 3000 (Jan 8, 2017)

Ctwoodtick said:


> To piggy back the last one, when your wife says that maybe the upstairs bedroom could have door shut with the electric heat on with it being so cold tonight....and you get a panicky feel, redouble your pitch for the woodstove and you win out because she realizes you're a lunatic about this stuff.


Yes, yes, yes!


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## Ashful (Jan 8, 2017)

CheapBassTurd said:


> I got depressed when the wife asked me to run the AEP machine "just for a few minutes" until
> the stove took off this morning.
> 
> Bummer dudes.  Guess ya gotta make sure it still works n' blow the dust out.
> ...



An AEP machine is a stretch wrap bundler, so what are you talking about?


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## Easy Livin’ 3000 (Jan 8, 2017)

Ashful said:


> An AEP machine is a stretch wrap bundler, so what are you talking about?


I can help.  American Electric Power is the utility that the bill comes from, so its his reference to his furnace. Like if you referenced your PECO machine (if you were heating with PECO electricity or gas).


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## CheapBassTurd (Jan 8, 2017)

My bad.  AEP is nationwide mixed in with ComEds n' such.
I thunk it was more common than first thought.

I also thought Asplundh was a local company until joining this site.  LOL


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## HisTreeNut (Jan 11, 2017)

You might be a firewood junkie if it bothers your wife when you constantly talk about your  "ex" in front of your family and friends, and  she is referring to your Fiskars...


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## Dobish (Jan 11, 2017)

or when you wake up and have dreams about people leaving firewood for you.... then they turn to nightmares when they take your CSS wood


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## Lake Girl (Jan 11, 2017)

Hasufel said:


> ...when you go outside on the coldest day of the year to see if frozen rounds really pop right open like everyone says they do. Spoiler alert: they didn't for me, at least I noticed no real difference (on some big red oak) except that my maul seemed to bounce off a lot. I did manage to get one round split before my fingers went completely numb. Color me disappointed!


Doesn't stay cold enough for long enough to freeze that wood fiber so it would split easier...


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## Hubby with a C (Jan 12, 2017)

HisTreeNut said:


> You might be a firewood junkie if it bothers your wife when you constantly talk about "ex" in front of your family and friends, and  she is referring to your Fiskars...



My wife refers to our woodstove as the "other woman"


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## English BoB (Jan 12, 2017)

When your in church and your calculating how many cords are in the pews and know the MC will be almost zero.

bob


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## buddythehuman (Jan 14, 2017)

You hear "ice storm" and all you think about are downed limbs and your wood burner starts licking its chops.


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## coreboy83 (Jan 16, 2017)

When the Old Man next door "lets you know" about the 3 dead oaks in his yard....


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## Dobish (Jan 16, 2017)

when all of your co-workers tell you about every single branch that fell off their trees... and offer to drive them to your house


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