# Hearth.com, The Reality Show.



## Jack Straw

They now have reality shows about anything or anyone. Why can't Hearth.com have one? Why can't we cash in? I could see Gamma having a line of jewelry and Adios selling his pottery.The only problem that I see is that everyone around here gets along pretty well and the Mods do a great job putting out any fires that arise and to be successful there must be conflict. Maybe us wood burners could start a big fight with the pellet pigs. ;-)


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## Adios Pantalones

Hey screw you Jack! You and your...Lopi

(it's not high drama, but it's a start)


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## Jack Straw

Save it for the camera (geeze!)


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## GAMMA RAY

It could be like MTV's real world.....we a all live in a house .....with only one wood stove...and we fight over who gets to load the mudder...
Can I pick who I room with?   :cheese:


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## Adios Pantalones

Reality shows need a trouble maker, a gay guy, the slut, etc. We need to pick roles


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## BrotherBart

I'll be the slut.


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## firefighterjake

I can be the fat guy who wanders around half naked . . .


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## Adios Pantalones

We just need a trouble maker, gay guy, ostrich farmer, and a former cop and we're in biddniz


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## GAMMA RAY

There is always one that gets chitfaced every night and sleeps with everything and anything...


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## Jack Straw

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> There is always one that gets chitfaced every night and sleeps with everything and anything...




I thought BB was going to do that.....I just don't know if he drinks.


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## kenny chaos

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> I'll be the slut.




BrotherBart.............. you're fired.


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## GAMMA RAY

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There is always one that gets chitfaced every night and sleeps with everything and anything...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I thought BB was going to do that.....I just don't know if he drinks.
Click to expand...



Pfft...surely you are kidding Jack.....that's the funny of the day.... :lol:  :lol:  :lol:


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## eclecticcottage

I call official apparel maker!!

Or ostrich farmer.  I wanted chickens, they're just smaller versions, right?


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## BrotherBart

For an h.c show maybe it should be:

A cat stove owner
A non-cat owner
A pellet stove owner
A wood dealer
A pre-EPA stove owner
A Sthil saw owner
A Husqvarna saw owner
A pine burner
A slut


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## kenny chaos

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> For an h.c show maybe it should be:
> 
> A cat stove owner
> A non-cat owner
> A pellet stove owner
> A wood dealer
> A pre-EPA stove owner
> A Sthil saw owner
> A Husqvarna saw owner
> A pine burner
> A slut





You just got your job back.


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## Jack Straw

Oh crap...I have an Echo.


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## firefighterjake

And get Pook back . . .


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## firebroad

Television sucks.


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## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> There is always one that gets chitfaced every night and sleeps with everything and anything...



I am throwing my hat in the ring for this position.


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## pen

Jags said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There is always one that gets chitfaced every night and _*sleeps with everything and anything*_...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I am throwing my hat in the ring for this position.
Click to expand...


I feel sorry for the ostrich already

pen


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## Jags

pen said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There is always one that gets chitfaced every night and _*sleeps with everything and anything*_...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I am throwing my hat in the ring for this position.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I feel sorry for the ostrich already
> 
> pen
Click to expand...


You ever see the size of an ostrich egg??


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## eclecticcottage

pen said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There is always one that gets chitfaced every night and _*sleeps with everything and anything*_...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I am throwing my hat in the ring for this position.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I feel sorry for the ostrich already
> 
> pen
Click to expand...


Where's Loon?  We need Emma here as a LGD.

BTW, that list is missing a VF fireplace/stove owner and a DV fireplace/stove owner.  Throwing a VF owner in the mix should help cause controversy.


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## smokinj

I will be the 1980's ex-porn star!  :coolsmile:


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## kenny chaos

The boys could force a "split off" with the girls to see who was going to do the housework.
That might be a bad idea.


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## Delta-T

I'm not a gay or an ex-cop...but I could play a gay ex-cop on TV or is that too..... "Village People"?


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## GAMMA RAY

There will be a battery of testing prior to shooting.....
Just to make sure none of you buggers gots the "cooties"....ya never know now  

and nobody use my razor.... >:-(


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## DAKSY

Can I be the Immature Baby Boomer Biker Guy?


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## Jags

I think we are missing "Chef" and "Brewmaster".  They will instantly become my allies.


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## Thistle

I'll be the arrogant  poophead always arguing with the other roommates.Its not acting either.


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## lukem

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> For an h.c show maybe it should be:
> 
> A cat stove owner
> A non-cat owner
> A pellet stove owner
> A wood dealer
> A pre-EPA stove owner
> A Sthil saw owner
> A Husqvarna saw owner
> A pine burner
> A slut



You need a Gassifier owner and old school OWB owner too.  Better make it two sluts for good measure.


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## Thistle

smokinjay said:
			
		

> I will be the 1980's ex-porn star!  :coolsmile:



 :lol:   :coolsmirk:  Jay. But don't we need a 'retired,but recalled' one too?


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## DAKSY

OK...Can I be the Immature Baby Boomer Biker Guy AND CHEF?
I can bring my Big Green Egg (somehow)...


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## Jack Straw

Kenny Chaos will die in every episode and some one will say "OMG they killed Kenny" (You bastards)


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## kenny chaos

We'll promote safety by keeping the "Ashcan" in the middle of the backyard, 
and use it for target practice when not cutting or splitting.


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## stoveguy2esw

DAKSY said:
			
		

> OK...Can I be the Immature Baby Boomer Biker Guy AND CHEF?
> I can bring my Big Green Egg (somehow)...




 big +1 , i LOVE my BGE


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## Delta-T

you know what...to heck with playing the cop...I wanna be The Host! Think of me as the taller, more handsomeful, smooth talking version of Jeff Probst.


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## firebroad

Thistle said:
			
		

> I'll be the arrogant  poophead always arguing with the other roommates.Its not acting either.



Hey you, stop working my corner.


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## firefighterjake

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> There will be a battery of testing prior to shooting.....
> Just to make sure none of you buggers gots the "cooties"....ya never know now
> 
> and nobody use my razor.... >:-(



Too late . . . if I'm going to be running around half naked I need to do some man-scaping.


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## firebroad

You guys are so damn funny I almost want to watch TV.
Only if you are in it, of course. 

*I* can't be in it.  I had cooties. 
Deer ticks
Sorry, Gamma, you will have to soldier on without me.

Jake, you frighten me.


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## firefighterjake

Oh yeah . . . we gotta drag Quads or Dennis into this as the well respected, mature voice of reason . . .


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## Delta-T

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There will be a battery of testing prior to shooting.....
> Just to make sure none of you buggers gots the "cooties"....ya never know now
> 
> and nobody use my razor.... >:-(
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Too late . . . if I'm going to be running around half naked I need to do some man-scaping.
Click to expand...


usaully "half-naked" implies the upper half...I like your spin on this one Jake....shock value never really loses it's....value. Especially on TV.


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## Thistle

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> There will be a battery of testing prior to shooting.....
> Just to make sure none of you buggers gots the "cooties"....ya never know now
> 
> and nobody use my razor.... >:-(
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Too late . . . if I'm going to be running around half naked I need to do some man-scaping.
Click to expand...


Thanks for that image... NOT. I was gonna skip lunch today anyway.  :ahhh:  ;-P


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## GAMMA RAY

The first one of you buggerz to leave the toilet seat up is gonna have a "toxic" toothbrush because I will use it to clean the toilet bowl. :cheese: 
I broke Mr Gamma of that habit in just a few days when we got married...along with a few other bad habits... >:-(


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## firebroad

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> The first one of you buggerz to leave the toilet seat up is gonna have a "toxic" toothbrush because I will use it to clean the toilet bowl. :cheese:
> I broke Mr Gamma of that habit in just a few days when we got married...along with a few other bad habits... >:-(



Oh, do tell


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## GAMMA RAY

firebroad said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The first one of you buggerz to leave the toilet seat up is gonna have a "toxic" toothbrush because I will use it to clean the toilet bowl. :cheese:
> I broke Mr Gamma of that habit in just a few days when we got married...along with a few other bad habits... >:-(
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, do tell
Click to expand...



Can't.....but it involves exlax.... ;-)
I know I am devious... :lol:


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## Thistle

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> firebroad said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The first one of you buggerz to leave the toilet seat up is gonna have a "toxic" toothbrush because I will use it to clean the toilet bowl. :cheese:
> I broke Mr Gamma of that habit in just a few days when we got married...along with a few other bad habits... >:-(
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, do tell
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> Can't.....but it involves exlax.... ;-)
> I know I am devious... :lol:
Click to expand...


Oh I have a story involving chocolate exlax,homemade tollhouse cookies & mooching workers who always ate others treats on Friday but never brought their own to the potluck hahahaha.


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## firebroad

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> firebroad said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The first one of you buggerz to leave the toilet seat up is gonna have a "toxic" toothbrush because I will use it to clean the toilet bowl. :cheese:
> I broke Mr Gamma of that habit in just a few days when we got married...along with a few other bad habits... >:-(
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, do tell
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> Can't.....but it involves exlax.... ;-)
> I know I am devious... :lol:
Click to expand...


*!*


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## DAKSY

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Can't.....but it involves exlax...



Well isn't THAT a Sh*tty thing to do!


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## firebroad

All I can say is...Saran Wrap taped under the toilet seat.  Shhh.


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## Adios Pantalones

That thing on the back of the seat is a hinge. Both sexes can use it.


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## DAKSY

Adios Pantalones said:
			
		

> That thing on the back of the seat is a hinge. Both sexes can use it.



Isn't it better that we leave the seat UP when we're DONE,
instead of leaving it DOWN when we're DOING? 
Just sayin...


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## GAMMA RAY

Adios Pantalones said:
			
		

> That thing on the back of the seat is a hinge. Both sexes can use it.




Ding ding ding...frequent offender I see AP.

If you put it up...you put it down....
"I pick things up and put them down....I pick things up and put them down".... :lol: 

How nice is it to get up in the middle of the night to pee and fall into the toilet.....literally... >:-(  >:-(  >:-(


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## Delta-T

and why would anyone put the toilet seat up anyways? much harder to pee on if its up like that.


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## firebroad

Delta-T said:
			
		

> and why would anyone put the toilet seat up anyways? much harder to pee on if its up like that.



Hence, the Saran Wrap Fix.  Worked for Mr. Firebroad.  

Only thing worse than falling into a water-filled hole in the middle of the night, is sitting on wet pee.

Only thing worse than that is having urine splashed back up at you because someone taped Saran Wrap on the bottom of the seat :coolsmirk: 

I can be a stinka, too.


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## Jags

firebroad said:
			
		

> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and why would anyone put the toilet seat up anyways? much harder to pee on if its up like that.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hence, the Saran Wrap Fix.  Worked for Mr. Firebroad.
> 
> Only thing worse than falling into a water-filled hole in the middle of the night, is sitting on wet pee.
> 
> Only thing worse than that is having urine splashed back up at you because someone taped Saran Wrap on the bottom of the seat :coolsmirk:
> 
> I can be a stinka, too.
Click to expand...


Fears like this is what causes me to stand in the bath tub and make a long curved arch to the toilet.


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## Delta-T

Jags said:
			
		

> firebroad said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and why would anyone put the toilet seat up anyways? much harder to pee on if its up like that.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hence, the Saran Wrap Fix.  Worked for Mr. Firebroad.
> 
> Only thing worse than falling into a water-filled hole in the middle of the night, is sitting on wet pee.
> 
> Only thing worse than that is having urine splashed back up at you because someone taped Saran Wrap on the bottom of the seat :coolsmirk:
> 
> I can be a stinka, too.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Fears like this is what causes me to stand in the bath tub and make a long curved arch to the toilet.
Click to expand...


also the reason I invented...the sink.


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## kenny chaos

I envision a nice new two seater out back for the girls complete with
an extension cord for their beauty power tools.


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## Battenkiller

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> I can be the fat guy who wanders around half naked . . .



And I'll be the fat guy who wanders around completely naked and has an "accident" when he gets up in the middle of the night to fill the stove and gets a little too close while bending over the top load door trying to free a stuck split.  :ahhh:


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## humpin iron

During the yelling part of the show, I'm gonna stand in the corner with a chainsaw running telling everyone to backoff.........


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## Battenkiller

Adios Pantalones said:
			
		

> That thing on the back of the seat is a hinge. Both sexes can use it.



And I've always been offended that I have to reach underneath the dirty lip of the damn thing to lift it with my hand, while she can just kick it down with her foot.  She should have to return it to the upright position for me, I say.


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## firebroad

Battenkiller said:
			
		

> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That thing on the back of the seat is a hinge. Both sexes can use it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And I've always been offended that I have to reach underneath the dirty lip of the damn thing to lift it with my hand, while she can just kick it down with her foot.  She should have to return it to the upright position for me, I say.
Click to expand...


Ever notice that any battle of the sexes usually involves Toilet Seat Etiquette?


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## Delta-T

Battenkiller said:
			
		

> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That thing on the back of the seat is a hinge. Both sexes can use it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And I've always been offended that I have to reach underneath the dirty lip of the damn thing to lift it with my hand, while she can just kick it down with her foot.  She should have to return it to the upright position for me, I say.
Click to expand...


Can I get an AMEN from the peanut gallery???


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## firebroad

I just had this "Reality TV" format described to me, and I understand there are games/contests.

How about deer tick races?  Last one to get Lyme disease is a rotten egg...


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## Battenkiller

firebroad said:
			
		

> I just had this "Reality TV" format described to me, and I understand there are games/contests.
> 
> How about deer tick races?  Last one to get Lyme disease is a rotten egg...



I can't lose that one, got it this summer.   :-S


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## Hogwildz

As far a stretch as it would be..... I'll be the bad guy. My nickname will be..... drum roll plz.....
"THE SPLITUATION"


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## firebroad

Battenkiller said:
			
		

> firebroad said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I just had this "Reality TV" format described to me, and I understand there are games/contests.
> 
> How about deer tick races?  Last one to get Lyme disease is a rotten egg...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I can't lose that one, got it this summer.   :-S
Click to expand...

I yeah, I remember.  You can hand out the Doxycyline.


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## Delta-T

firebroad said:
			
		

> I just had this "Reality TV" format described to me, and I understand there are games/contests.
> 
> How about deer tick races?  Last one to get Lyme disease is a rotten egg...



Reminds me of....
The Angola Rodeao, Louisiana State Penitentiary.
Ten Events, one of the events-
 "Convict Poker": 4 prisoners are seated at a card table in the ring and a bull is released. Last man sitting wins! (April21-22 and Sundays in October)


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## GAMMA RAY

Hogwildz said:
			
		

> As far a stretch as it would be..... I'll be the bad guy. My nickname will be..... drum roll plz.....
> "THE SPLITUATION"



That's got a good ring to it Hogzy....
however the name scares me a bit.....other than thinkin firewood....  hh: :lol: 
Just sayin...


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## BrotherBart

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> I envision a nice new two seater out back for the girls complete with
> an extension cord for their beauty power tools.


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## GAMMA RAY

I really don't know where you find these pics BB.......   :lol: 
I ain't usin one of those.....

Yeah..."Hey Dix how was your day..."
"Gamma you will never guess what happened to me today.."

No conversation in the b-room...ever.....it's almost sacrilegious.... :lol:


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## kenny chaos

And on Saturday nights, the drunk would get drunk, the cook would cook, the slut would 
go get wood, the girls would go two at a time in their new chariot, maybe a couple other role players I'm forgetting,
and the rest of us wood sit around the stove singing the SOTW.
(Will there be the ubiquitous hot tub?)


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## snowleopard

My splitting maul is still unblooded.  I can be point person providing perimeter patrols in the woods.  WASABI!!  

But I always gravitate towards sitting in the naughty section (i.e., talking out of turn and throwing spitballs), so expect some company out there to keep things lively.

ETA: and we could have grammar/spelling/punctuation wars.   

"its my turn to use the bathroom you left you're stuff laying on the sink agin"
"It's it's, not its; your, not you're.  Capitalize the start of a sentence and proper nouns.  Punctuate. And before you post again, please brush up on the principal parts of the verbs verbs "lie" and "lay": lie, lay, lain; lay, laid, laid."  
 "I"M NOT SUBMITTING MY POST FOR A GRADE!" 
"Stop shouting!  Take your cap locks off."
"I"LL TAKE YOUR CAP LOCKS OFF, BUSTER!" 

Whaddayamean, no controversy here?  This is why I would walk perimeter.  Keeping the vampires and werewolves out would be safer than moderating these discussions.


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## kenny chaos

snowleopard said:
			
		

> My splitting maul is still unblooded.  I can be point person providing perimeter patrols in the woods.  WASABI!!
> 
> This is why I would walk perimeter.  Keeping the vampires and werewolves out would be safer than moderating these discussions.



Wasabi? Horseradish?

You got the job but don't forget your lantern; 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLT6c8VWSpE


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## snowleopard

WASABI!!  Not only does it taste good, but the cry WASABI!! causes one's enemy's blood to turn to ice.   

A cloak would be good, too, but I'm not sure that is the one I want.


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## jeff_t

You know, the house should be in AK. Longer heating season, longer nights.


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## Dix

DAKSY said:
			
		

> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That thing on the back of the seat is a hinge. Both sexes can use it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Isn't it better that we leave the seat UP when we're DONE,
> instead of leaving it DOWN when we're DOING?
> Just sayin...
Click to expand...


I agree with this in the work place. 

*NOT* at home


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## Dix

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I envision a nice new two seater out back for the girls complete with
> an extension cord for their beauty power tools.
Click to expand...


Note that the seats are down TYVM !

Gamma, that falling in stuff sucks a big one !


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## Dix

I, like Jags, throw my hat in the ring.

Only for C.B.I.C.


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## snowleopard

Also, wasabi is even better than garlic with the vamps, and if all else fails, wasabi breath is also a potent weapon.

Reference post #10: https://www.hearth.com/econtent/index.php/forums/viewthread/91037/#1113162

Either of the following cloaks should meet my basic cloaking requirements: http://www.cloaksofireland.com/West Cork.htm; http://www.cloaksofireland.com/QueenM.htm.

Do I get a dagger?  Sword?  Boots?


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## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Also, wasabi is even better than garlic with the vamps, and if all else fails, wasabi breath is also a potent weapon.
> 
> Reference post #10: https://www.hearth.com/econtent/index.php/forums/viewthread/91037/#1113162
> 
> The following cloak should meet my basic cloaking requirements: http://www.cloaksofireland.com/West Cork.htm
> 
> Do I get a dagger?  Sword?  Boots?



I've got a navy blue velvet floor length cloak (lined, I might add) that you can use. I also have plenty of boots !!

Can't help with the dagger, how ever.


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## kenny chaos

We can't forget Craig and Fossil.  Any ideas for roles?


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## Hogwildz

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> We can't forget Craig and Fossil.  Any ideas for roles?



Yoda & Obi Wan


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## BrotherBart

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> We can't forget Craig and Fossil.  Any ideas for roles?



Craig maintains the streaming internet feed and Fossil is the bouncer in the house.  :lol: 

"Kenny, the house has voted. You're outta here. Left face. Forward march."


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## snowleopard

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> snowleopard said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also, wasabi is even better than garlic with the vamps, and if all else fails, wasabi breath is also a potent weapon.
> 
> Reference post #10: https://www.hearth.com/econtent/index.php/forums/viewthread/91037/#1113162
> 
> The following cloak should meet my basic cloaking requirements: http://www.cloaksofireland.com/West Cork.htm
> 
> Do I get a dagger?  Sword?  Boots?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've got a navy blue velvet floor length cloak (lined, I might add) that you can use. I also have plenty of boots !!
> 
> Can't help with the dagger, how ever.
Click to expand...


Thank you. 
I think if I lurk around out in the woods, cloaked and armed, I am marginally less likely to get thrown out. 
Cloak: check
Boots: check
Dagger: check
Sword: check
Splitting maul: check
Chainsaw: check
Water truck: check


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## fossil

Actually, in addition to whatever other duties I may be assigned, I volunteer for an off-camera position as the guy in charge of wardrobe malfunctions.


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## Dix

fossil said:
			
		

> Actually, in addition to whatever other duties I may be assigned, I volunteer for an off-camera position as the guy in charge of wardrobe malfunctions.



As C.B.I.C. I would see that that was done  Make you "in charge" that is 

*But* you're "alter ego" would be the "Head of The Lewdness Office". You're so good at it


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## thewoodlands

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> firebroad said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The first one of you buggerz to leave the toilet seat up is gonna have a "toxic" toothbrush because I will use it to clean the toilet bowl. :cheese:
> I broke Mr Gamma of that habit in just a few days when we got married...along with a few other bad habits... >:-(
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, do tell
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> Can't.....but it involves exlax.... ;-)
> I know I am devious... :lol:
Click to expand...


My sister made chocolate chip cookies (a big batch with ex-lax in them) for the high school varsity hockey team, they ate them the day before a big game,played like chit. It was a pay back, thats all I can say.

zap


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## tfdchief

Dang, I have gotten in this thing so late, what could I possibly do?  OK, I will be the fire safety guy.......and NO Jake, you can't be my assistant, not if you are going to be half naked.  I think I will pick Dennis. :coolsmirk:


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## Dix

tfdchief said:
			
		

> Dang, I have gotten in this thing so late, what could I possibly do?  OK, I will be the fire safety guy.......and NO Jake, you can't be my assistant, not if you are going to be half naked.  I think I will pick Dennis. :coolsmirk:



Good choice


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## snowleopard

silver bullets: check
wooden stakes: check
wasabi: check
garlic: check 

Sleep well, hearthholders.  Grammy, the chicken and I've got this watch.


----------



## kenny chaos

The wood stove puts off some nice warmth but I can already feel some cold spots
in the house. 
Sorry about the chicken wings.  She'll live.
When do we go insult the Craigslist House?


----------



## Delta-T

snowleopard said:
			
		

> silver bullets: check
> wooden stakes: check
> wasabi: check
> garlic: check
> 
> Sleep well, hearthholders.  Grammy, the chicken and I've got this watch.



rememer to bring you piece of sharkskin (is the customary and time honored tool for wasabi grinding, in the tradition way, of traditions....like fiddler on the roof).


----------



## snowleopard

Crap, so now I have to drag my fiddle around out in the woods as well?  I'm going to feel more like a tinker clunking and rattling than like a stealth ninja warrior shadow.  

I don't have a television, but I'm getting the idea that my idea of reality television shows is a little skewed, like I wandered in from the wrong set.  As long as we all like our own realities, it should work. 

 Okay, second shift.  One of you East Coasters needs to take over the watch, as I do my best work under cover of darkness.  My guess is that Kathleen is going to be pissed about Pumpkin's wings, Kenny.   Take it up with her. 

Retreating to my secret lair high in the oak tree to work on my krav maga moves.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

I nominate BeGreen to be the "Counselor" of the bunch....he seems very mild mannered....and we definitely need someone to monitor the sanity of this freakshow. :ahhh: 

I nominate pen to be the cook....and bartender.... :cheese: 
I hear he makes a mean meatloaf...and martini.... :lol:


----------



## Jack Straw

I met with the production company today. They requested clay molds of the Mods heads for the promotional bobble heads. They want us to come up with the theme song. 
There was some talk of Heart.com the Broadway play. They informed me that I have a face for the internet, but not tv. :long: 

Gamma, Playboy called, they promise that the pictures will be tasteful.

Brother Bart, a men's magazine called, but they won't promise that the pictures will be tasteful.

Kenny, no one called for you.


----------



## snowleopard

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> Brother Bart, a men's magazine called, but they won't promise that the pictures will be tasteful.



As long as they're tasty, they need not be tasteful.   WASABI!!


----------



## GAMMA RAY

As long as the pics are not smutty... >:-( 
I don't think there has been a Playboy cover model over the age of 40 though...I may be wrong...

BB's pics will rock I am sure.... ;-)


----------



## smoke show

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> Maybe us wood burners could start a big fight with the pellet pigs. ;-)



Don't make me go get my pellet pig buddies.  :lol:


----------



## kenny chaos

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> Kenny, no one called for you.




All I ever get is pre-disapproved credit card offers.

WASABI!!


----------



## jtakeman

smoke this said:
			
		

> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe us wood burners could start a big fight with the pellet pigs. ;-)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't make me go get my pellet pig buddies.  :lol:
Click to expand...


Like we'd help you! ;-)


----------



## SmokeyTheBear

j-takeman said:
			
		

> smoke this said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe us wood burners could start a big fight with the pellet pigs. ;-)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't make me go get my pellet pig buddies.  :lol:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Like we'd help you! ;-)
Click to expand...


He expects support after all he puts us through?


----------



## Dix

I like Wasabi !!


----------



## kenny chaos

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> I like Wasabi !!




My new favorite word.
The wife wants to know why I keep yelling WASABI!


----------



## DexterDay

SmokeyTheBear said:
			
		

> j-takeman said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> smoke this said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe us wood burners could start a big fight with the pellet pigs. ;-)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't make me go get my pellet pig buddies.  :lol:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Like we'd help you! ;-)
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> He expects support after all he puts us through?
Click to expand...



Come on now... Where's the Love??? ;-P

Im neutral. I burn Pellets and Wood. If push came to shove. Id be swinging with you Smoke (my Big Green ugly buddy) ;-P

 Pellets always win...... (running for cover!!) :lol:


----------



## snowleopard

Last night while on perimeter patrol, I noticed various sized pellets out in the woods: rabbit pellets (for houses less than 900 sf) up through moose pellets (for houses over 2500 sf).  

I admire you pellet people, I really do.  Amazing work ethics . . .


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Last night while on perimeter patrol, I noticed various sized pellets out in the woods: rabbit pellets (for houses less than 900 sf) up through moose pellets (for houses over 2500 sf).
> 
> I admire you pellet people, I really do.  Amazing work ethics . . .



*snork*


----------



## jtakeman

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> snowleopard said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Last night while on perimeter patrol, I noticed various sized pellets out in the woods: rabbit pellets (for houses less than 900 sf) up through moose pellets (for houses over 2500 sf).
> 
> I admire you pellet people, I really do. Amazing work ethics . . .
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *snork*
Click to expand...


Ouch! Lets see burned wood for several years and still do. CSS 10 cords a season 7 for us and 3 for the elderly in-laws. While working 50 to 60 hour weeks. Once my son came, I decided to spend my time with him instead. Best dame decision I ever made. I won't look back and say I should have spent more time with him! Psst!


----------



## smoke show

snowleopard said:
			
		

> I admire you pellet people, I really do.  Amazing work ethics . . .



How long you been burning wood?


----------



## Flatbedford

You all forgot the biggest controversy. Horizontal vs. Vertical. The whole crew gathers around the splitter, while Dennis and Jake duke it out. We Fiskars owners quietly hand split just off camera.


----------



## snowleopard

:coolgrin: North-south<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->East-west :snake: 







			
				smoke show said:
			
		

> How long you been burning wood?



All afternoon.


 :ahhh: Stihl<--------------------------------------------------------->Husky :coolmad:


----------



## smoke show

snowleopard said:
			
		

> :coolgrin: North-south<---------------------------------------------------------------------------->East-west :snake:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> smoke show said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> How long you been burning wood?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> All afternoon.
Click to expand...


Thanks. I admire your intelligence.


----------



## snowleopard

Okay, so clearly I pushed a button here without even knowing someone had sewed it on.  The following is an attempt to clarify.  

To the best of my knowledge:
there is no hearth.com reality tv show;
although it sounds like a lot of fun, I do not run around in the woods at night in a borrowed midnight-blue cloak and boots carrying sharkskin, wasabi, garlic, a violin, splitting maul, and chainsaw keeping the hearthholders safe from vampires, werewolves, and the people from Craigslist House, nor do I have a lair high in an oak tree in which I practice Israli self-defense moves, damnit; 
Gamma and Dix do not go to an open-air two-seater ladies room together;
Kenny did not eat the wings off of Kathleen's chicken;
BB and Gamma are not going to appear airbrushed and wearing a smile on the covers of national magazine; 
all that stuff about vertical/horizonal splitting, north-south/east-west burning, cat/non-cat, soapstone/cast-iron, and yes, wood burners/pellet burners was intended as a joke; and
what I said about the work ethic of pellet burners was intended to be funny, based on the following (il)logic chain:
1) I reported seeing many pellets (i.e., animal droppings) out in the woods ranging in size from rabbits to moose, and 
2) it would take a lot of these pellets to heat a home, and 
3) it would take a lot of time and energy to pick up sufficient pellets to heat a home, and 
4) it would require an admirable work ethic to put forth that time and energy on such an enterprise. 

No Feelings Were Intended to be Harmed in the Making of this Thread.


----------



## DexterDay

I think we all know its in Good fun... Even that ugly Green Guy would agree.

99% of the People here understand and can take it, as well as dish it. 

Carry on. Very enjoyable thread. IMO


----------



## kenny chaos

Hey Tinker Warrior Leopard Goddess, was I dreaming last night or did I hear, "WASABI,"
and see Dixie Chick trying to sneak back from the Craigslist House wearing a toga?


----------



## snowleopard

Can't say.  I was called off patrol for an encounter group session.  I could only hope that others would step in and fill the security breach.  I fear the worst.


----------



## Dix

Bluto: TOGA! TOGA!


----------



## Jack Straw

http://media-cdn.pinterest.com/upload/277252920779912824_pQ0YuTmV_c.jpg


Happy Sunday :lol:


----------



## begreen

Ya'll are having too much fun. What you need here is a heavy. I'm here to let you know the evil Code Inspector Lawrence Elk has arrived. Now straighten up those pipes. 

Gamma you're condemned on violating clearances. Bling needs to be at least 18" from the stove. 
Adios, I'm busting you for smoked butt. Get some pants on.
Jags, yer gettin written up for egging on Pen. 
Kenny, you are out again for violation of punctilious demeanor. 
Jake, sorry dude, you're out on an obscenity charge, now get a shirt on, and I don't mean Adios's. 
Thistle, yer fined for lack of PIP. 
Jack, yer fined for mispelling happiness, no butts about it.
And I don't know the ruling on sluts and pron-stars heading off with people in togas, but that looks like a clearance violation to me too.


----------



## kenny chaos

Here Mr. Elk.  You dropped this C-note.  Good luck with your golf game today, Sir.


----------



## fossil

BeGreen said:
			
		

> ...pron-stars..



What the hell's a "*pron-star*"?   :smirk:


----------



## JoeyD

humpin iron said:
			
		

> During the yelling part of the show, I'm gonna stand in the corner with a chainsaw running telling everyone to backoff.........



I believe someone here already auditioned for that part.


----------



## Dix

fossil said:
			
		

> BeGreen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...pron-stars..
> 
> 
> 
> 
> What the hell's a "*pron-star*"?   :smirk:
Click to expand...


I think he meant "prawn" !!


----------



## begreen

Right, it was kinda shrimpy now that you mention it. lol


----------



## kenny chaos

"sluts and pron-stars"  seems correct.  Google has your back BG.


----------



## begreen

Damn, you're right. I don't dare click on those links though. 

http://www.funnyordie.com/topic/pron-star


----------



## kenny chaos

Thank god we're not on Sunday's.


----------



## Dix

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Thank god we're not on Sunday's.



We're not???

HS !

*stashes the other toga before any one else sees it*


----------



## Thistle

BeGreen said:
			
		

> Thistle, yer fined for lack of PIP.



PIP?  :lol: Dare I ask what that is?


----------



## Fi-Q

Hey, sounds like a great show. I am no actors,but I need money. 

   A lot of men will watch this show, bet we need something to have girls watching it as well......

   I could play the French Canadiand Lumberjack, I don't know why, but when women love my French accent .

   I would only eat meatball stew and potato and have those crazy story of me and my old Friend who has stoped talking to me since he is Famous (Bastard Bonhomme).

   I could be the one stuck in 1800's. Leaving far from town in a small hand build log cabin. Lumbing with horse and travelling with sled og in the winter. And I could easilly always be drunk on some caribous or hand brand alcool. (My great grand-father was once a rhum runner during US/CA prohibition, he was bringing boose from St-Pierre Island to the GaspÃ© Peninsula.)


----------



## snowleopard

All aspirants to perimeter patrol are cordially invited to explore this important opportunity.  Please re-read and annotate your copy of The Art of War, and bring it with you to the workshop.  Dress is casual-assault.  

Security Workshop Schedule: 
Monday
06:00 EST  Krav Maga workout 
08:00 EST  Apocotechure: zombie-proofing the grounds and house
10:00 EST  Vampires and Werewolves: A Coordinated Response to Divergent Threats 
11:30 EST Cooking, decorating, and dressing with garlic and wasabi
13:00 EST So They Wanna Feel the Love? Distinguishing between Emo and Pellet Burning (Please take a few minutes to fill out the following quiz before attending http://www.quizrocket.com/emo-quiz if time permits; otherwise indicate how you heat your home on the signup sheet)
14:00 EST Dressing for Success: The Great Cape Debate; Make Your Own Boot Sheaths; When Camo Works Against You, or Does this Facepaint Make Me Look Like a Dork?  (Short answer: yes, and it will give you zits)
We'll wrap things up with Krav Maga elimination rounds; potluck follows.


----------



## Jack Straw

The production company called and said that you are a bunch of divas. Someone is demanding a gold plated milk crate, another is requesting a new type of flat bed vehicle, a certain older "gentlemen" wants vodka with Viagra in it and lastly someone won't appear on camera with any "right wing wackos".  :coolsmile:


----------



## Dix

Fi-Q said:
			
		

> Hey, sounds like a great show. I am no actors,but I need money.
> 
> A lot of men will watch this show, bet we need something to have girls watching it as well......
> 
> I could play the French Canadiand Lumberjack, I don't know why, but when women love my French accent .
> 
> I would only eat meatball stew and potato and have those crazy story of me and my old Friend who has stoped talking to me since he is Famous (Bastard Bonhomme).
> 
> I could be the one stuck in 1800's. Leaving far from town in a small hand build log cabin. Lumbing with horse and travelling with sled og in the winter. And I could easilly always be drunk on some caribous or hand brand alcool. (My great grand-father was once a rhum runner during US/CA prohibition, he was bringing boose from St-Pierre Island to the GaspÃ© Peninsula.)



We need a rum runner, most def.


----------



## snowleopard

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> The production company called and said that you are a bunch of divas. Someone is demanding a gold plated milk crate, another is requesting a new type of flat bed vehicle, a certain older "gentlemen" wants vodka with Viagra in it and lastly someone won't appear on camera with any "right wing wackos".  :coolsmile:



No problem; I doubt that any "right-wing wackos" will show up for the pellet-splitting contest.


----------



## kenny chaos

snowleopard said:
			
		

> All aspirants to perimeter patrol are cordially invited to explore this important opportunity.  Please re-read and annotate your copy of The Art of War, and bring it with you to the workshop.  Dress is casual-assault.
> 
> Security Workshop Schedule:
> Monday
> 06:00 EST  Krav Maga workout
> 08:00 EST  Apocotechure: zombie-proofing the grounds and house
> 10:00 EST  Vampires and Werewolves: A Coordinated Response to Divergent Threats
> 11:30 EST Cooking, decorating, and dressing with garlic and wasabi
> 13:00 EST So They Wanna Feel the Love? Distinguishing between Emo and Pellet Burning (Please take a few minutes to fill out the following quiz before attending http://www.quizrocket.com/emo-quiz if time permits; otherwise indicate how you heat your home on the signup sheet)
> 14:00 EST Dressing for Success: The Great Cape Debate; Make Your Own Boot Sheaths; When Camo Works Against You, or Does this Facepaint Make Me Look Like a Dork?  (Short answer: yes, and it will give you zits)
> We'll wrap things up with Krav Maga elimination rounds; potluck follows.




Sounds like week 10 of boot camp.
I learned shortly thereafter not to raise my hand and be an aspirant.


----------



## kenny chaos

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> you are a bunch of divas.   :coolsmile:




I heard you are on the new Celebrity Apprentice.


----------



## kenny chaos

I owe somebody ice cream.  Sorry.


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The production company called and said that you are a bunch of divas. Someone is demanding a gold plated milk crate, another is requesting a new type of flat bed vehicle, a certain older "gentlemen" wants vodka with Viagra in it and lastly someone won't appear on camera with any "right wing wackos".  :coolsmile:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> No problem; I doubt that any "right-wing wackos" will show up for the pellet-splitting contest.
Click to expand...


Will we need ribbons & awards????

Need to know !!


----------



## Jack Straw

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> you are a bunch of divas.   :coolsmile:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I heard you are on the new Celebrity Apprentice.
Click to expand...



I got kicked off, I kept looking at his combover.


----------



## snowleopard

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Sounds like week 10 of boot camp.
> I learned shortly thereafter not to raise my hand and be an aspirant.



The whisper in the trees is that the toga/pron-star contingent is planning to streak us.  
A-M bring salads or a main dish;
N-Z bring side dishes or dessert.


----------



## Dix

WTH is Piejam when you need her????


----------



## snowleopard

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> WTH is Piejam when you need her????


Keeping a low profile; trying to leave her Hollywood days behind her and live quietly now.


----------



## Fi-Q

snowleopard said:
			
		

> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sounds like week 10 of boot camp.
> I learned shortly thereafter not to raise my hand and be an aspirant.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The whisper in the trees is that the toga/pron-star contingent are planning to streak us.
> A-M bring salads or a main dish;
> N-Z bring side dishes or dessert.
Click to expand...


Is Light Maple Syrup Grand Father would do for desert ?

http://www.csil.ca/recettes/download/Light Maple Syrup Grand Father.pdf


----------



## kenny chaos

Fi-Q said:
			
		

> snowleopard said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sounds like week 10 of boot camp.
> I learned shortly thereafter not to raise my hand and be an aspirant.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The whisper in the trees is that the toga/pron-star contingent are planning to streak us.
> A-M bring salads or a main dish;
> N-Z bring side dishes or dessert.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Is Light Maple Syrup Grand Father would do for desert ?
> 
> http://www.csil.ca/recettes/download/Light Maple Syrup Grand Father.pdf
Click to expand...



Yes and bring the snowman suit.  I got a plan.


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WTH is Piejam when you need her????
> 
> 
> 
> Keeping a low profile; trying to leave her Hollywood days behind her and live quietly now.
Click to expand...


Not acceptable !!

Paging PJ, paging PJ !!


----------



## snowleopard

Fi-Q said:
			
		

> Is Light Maple Syrup Grand Father would do for desert ?
> http://www.csil.ca/recettes/download/Light Maple Syrup Grand Father.pdf



Maple Syrup, dessert; Grandfather, main course.  And although this might peg me as a right-wing wacko, bringing him in that capacity could cast you in a suspicious light.

And now for our culture break: 
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171760
Maple Syrup
By Donald Hall
August, goldenrod blowing. We walk   
into the graveyard, to find
my grandfatherâ€™s grave. Ten years ago   
I came here last, bringing
marigolds from the round garden   
outside the kitchen.
I didnâ€™t know you then.
                                  We walk
among carved names that go with photographs
on top of the piano at the farm:
Keneston, Wells, Fowler, Batchelder, Buck.   
We pause at the new grave
of Grace Fenton, my grandfatherâ€™s   
sister. Last summer
we called on her at the nursing home,   
eighty-seven, and nodding
in a blue housedress. We cannot find   
my grandfatherâ€™s grave.
                                  Back at the house
where no one lives, we potter   
and explore the back chamber
where everything comes to rest: spinning wheels,   
pretty boxes, quilts,
bottles, books, albums of postcards.   
Then with a flashlight we descend   
firm steps to the root cellarâ€”black,   
cobwebby, huge,
with dirt floors and fieldstone walls,   
and above the walls, holding the hewn   
sills of the house, enormous
granite foundation stones.
Past the empty bins
for squash, apples, carrots, and potatoes,
we discover the shelves for canning, a few
pale pints
of tomato left, andâ€”what
is this?â€”syrup, maple syrup   
in a quart jar, syrup
my grandfather made twenty-five   
years ago
for the last time.
                           I remember
coming to the farm in March
in sugaring time, as a small boy.
He carried the pails of sap, sixteen-quart   
buckets, dangling from each end   
of a wooden yoke
that lay across his shoulders, and emptied them   
into a vat in the saphouse   
where fire burned day and night   
for a week.
                Now the saphouse   
tilts, nearly to the ground,   
like someone exhausted
to the point of death, and next winter
when snow piles three feet thick   
on the roofs of the cold farm,
the saphouse will shudder and slide   
with the snow to the ground.
                                          Today
we take my grandfatherâ€™s last   
quart of syrup
upstairs, holding it gingerly,
and we wash off twenty-five years   
of dirt, and we pull
and pry the lid up, cutting the stiff,   
dried rubber gasket, and dip our fingers
in, you and I both, and taste
the sweetness, you for the first time,
the sweetness preserved, of a dead man   
in the kitchen he left
when his body slid
like anyoneâ€™s into the ground.

Donald Hall, â€œMaple Syrupâ€ from Old and New Poems. Copyright Â© 1990 by Donald Hall. Reprinted with the permission of Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Maple Syrup, dessert; Grandfather, main course.  And although this might peg me as a right-wing wacko, bringing him in that capacity could cast you in a suspicious light.
> 
> And now for our culture break:
> http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171760
> Maple Syrup
> By Donald Hall



That's awesome, Snow. I can taste the syrup in my toga !


----------



## kenny chaos

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WTH is Piejam when you need her????
> 
> 
> 
> Keeping a low profile; trying to leave her Hollywood days behind her and live quietly now.
Click to expand...



Another ex-prawn?


----------



## snowleopard

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Another ex-prawn?



Nothing shrimpy there; full-sail -pron.


----------



## snowleopard

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> That's awesome, Snow. I can taste the syrup in my toga !



If that's how it's going to be delivered, I expect standing-room only at the workshop.  Hint: steer clear of the mystery meat . . .


----------



## kenny chaos

What time is make-up tomorrow?


----------



## Dix

5 AM EST.

Snow gets a break. 

Loon's Buddy takes over her shift.  Should be a "Rat Patrol"


----------



## chuckie5fingers

long time lurker and wood burner but new member.
This thread is hilarius Keep it comming!

chuck


----------



## kenny chaos

Evaluator guy said:
			
		

> long time lurker and wood burner but new member.
> This thread is hilarius Keep it comming!
> 
> chuck




Welcome Chuck.  We need a lurker.
Do you go commando?


----------



## Thistle

Please. Not that.


----------



## snowleopard

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Welcome Chuck.  We need a lurker.
> Do you go commando?



Don't you think that's a pretty personal question for a newbie? 

I don't want to know why you want to know that.


----------



## Thistle

snowleopard said:
			
		

> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Welcome Chuck.  We need a lurker.
> Do you go commando?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't you think that's a pretty personal question for a newbie?
> 
> I don't want to know why you want to know that.
Click to expand...


Exactly. Scare off the new guy.


----------



## Dix

Evaluator guy said:
			
		

> long time lurker and wood burner but new member.
> This thread is hilarius Keep it comming!
> 
> chuck



Oh great, now you want us to think about this stuff???? Seriously???

Great !

Welcome to the forums, Chuck 



I could not resist !


----------



## kenny chaos

snowleopard said:
			
		

> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Welcome Chuck.  We need a lurker.
> Do you go commando?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't you think that's a pretty personal question for a newbie?
> 
> I don't want to know why you want to know that.
Click to expand...



I'd welcome one less person that wants to get into my shorts.


----------



## snowleopard

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> 5 AM EST.
> 
> Snow gets a break.
> 
> Loon's Buddy takes over her shift.  Should be a "Rat Patrol"



I rest easy knowing that an Ewok is taking the next shift.


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 5 AM EST.
> 
> Snow gets a break.
> 
> Loon's Buddy takes over her shift.  Should be a "Rat Patrol"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I rest easy knowing that an Ewok is taking the next shift.
Click to expand...


Ewoks it is !! I still have the Dixettes "Ewok Village" from her youth.

Done deal, your good to go. Just throw some pellets in the air (ALA Pixie Dust) when ever, and that's the signal for the Ewoks to rule the roost, so to speak .

Seriously. 

Awesome.

CBIC, out.


----------



## snowleopard

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> I'd welcome one less person that wants to get into my shorts.



That could be a poll, but talk about scaring off the newcomers . . .


----------



## snowleopard

I think one Ewok should be enough--Buddy can handle the anything that comes up.

Wait--are you telling me that you fell for Buddy's dog act?


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> I think one Ewok should be enough--Buddy can handle the anything that comes up.



Ewoks can be deadly. One is def enough. They communicate quite quickly.


----------



## Fi-Q

Ok for one ewoks, but I really think that a start cruiser would be too much....

    Do you think they heat the star cruiser with a wood stove & Or a Boiler, maybe an insert ??? Wondering if they ahve pellets on the Ewoks planet.


----------



## begreen

Thistle said:
			
		

> BeGreen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thistle, yer fined for lack of PIP.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> PIP?  :lol: Dare I ask what that is?
Click to expand...


Personal Injury Protection dude. Where's your codpiece?


----------



## begreen

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The production company called and said that you are a bunch of divas. Someone is demanding a gold plated milk crate, another is requesting a new type of flat bed vehicle, a certain older "gentlemen" wants vodka with Viagra in it and lastly someone won't appear on camera with any "right wing wackos".  :coolsmile:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> No problem; I doubt that any "right-wing wackos" will show up for the pellet-splitting contest.
Click to expand...


Good one, but I think they are willing to split the most tiny hairs on your body.


----------



## snowleopard

Fi-Q said:
			
		

> Ok for one ewoks, but I really think that a start cruiser would be too much.... Do you think they heat the star cruiser with a wood stove & Or a Boiler, maybe an insert ???



How about just a lil' teeny Millennium Falcon, then?  Not really what one would call a cruiser . . . and since she's already parked back there . . .   Very well insulated, of course, so it doesn't take a lot to heat her, but transporting all that wood is too space-consuming.  Word in the woods is that Woodstock is planning a "repurposing" of their remaining stock of Fireviews to run on berilliyum spheres (thus the _converter_ in catalytic converter), but as usual, they're dithering on the release of this update.  Teasers.     



			
				Fi-Q said:
			
		

> Wondering if they ahve pellets on the Ewoks planet.



Does an Ewok poop in the woods?

Speaking of Ewoks, next time she's deep in the cinnamon schnapps, take a closer look at Gamma's so-called `trollz' bracelets. Transparisteel, unless I miss my guess.


----------



## Thistle

BeGreen said:
			
		

> Thistle said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> BeGreen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Thistle, yer fined for lack of PIP.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> PIP?  :lol: Dare I ask what that is?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Personal Injury Protection dude. Where's your codpiece?
Click to expand...


Uhmmm I ate it actually. Piece of beer-battered cod,mafalde pasta in garlic cream sauce,steamed asparagus & baby carrots was Sat night dinner.Was wonderful.


----------



## snowleopard

And there you go!  You won't see a Teamster or an Ironworker eat his (or her) own codpiece.  This is why Laborers open the jobs and shut them down.  If a job's gotta be done, it's gotta be done.


----------



## Thistle

snowleopard said:
			
		

> And there you go!  You won't see a Teamster or an Ironworker eat his (or her) own codpiece.  This is why Laborers open the jobs and shut them down.  If a job's gotta be done, it's gotta be done.



We're first on the job when its a mudhole 30 feet deep below the street,last out the  front door when the office building is finished,washing inside windows,vaccuming carpets as the new owners/tenants are moving in.


----------



## ironpony

I am going to pass on this invite
seems everytime I post lately
someone goes away crying
with feelings hurt
maybe I should be the a$$hole


----------



## ironpony

smoke show said:
			
		

> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maybe us wood burners could start a big fight with the pellet pigs. ;-)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Don't make me go get my pellet pig buddies.  :lol:
Click to expand...




hey Smoke I've got your back
but be prepared if you hang with me
you are a marked man


----------



## kenny chaos

Anybody seen my toothbrush?


----------



## GAMMA RAY

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Anybody seen my toothbrush?



I did not see it.....honest....if I did use it to....ah.....clean the toilet bowl it would be placed back in its spot
Just sayin.... :smirk: 

BB may have done something with it though...


----------



## kenny chaos

I can't find my codpiece either. :lol:


----------



## loon

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> 5 AM EST.
> 
> Snow gets a break.
> 
> Loon's Buddy takes over her shift.  Should be a "Rat Patrol"



He's ready anytime Dixie  ;-)


----------



## snowleopard

*Dengar, Buddy!*


----------



## BrotherBart

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> I can't find my codpiece either. :lol:



It is easy to misplace something that small. Keep looking.


----------



## Jags

Ewok - Ewok on the loose.  WASABI!


----------



## kenny chaos

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I can't find my codpiece either. :lol:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It is easy to misplace something that small. Keep looking.
Click to expand...



I gotta admit, that was quite a tent you pitched last night.


----------



## piejam

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> I'll be the slut.




Now, Now BB...Think I've got the title and the video's to prove it!..lol


Take care everyone!


----------



## smoke show

Puts a different twist on the name piejam...


----------



## piejam

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> As long as the pics are not smutty... >:-(
> I don't think there has been a Playboy cover model over the age of 40 though...I may be wrong...
> 
> BB's pics will rock I am sure.... ;-)



Jake Lamotta's wife Vicky, Bardot, Farrah Fawcett


----------



## piejam

smoke show said:
			
		

> Puts a different twist on the name piejam...



I'm into play not pain-sorry


----------



## kenny chaos

piejam said:
			
		

> I'm into play not pain-sorry




Hi Pie.  I'm Kenny.  Welcome to the house.
Do you go commando?


----------



## piejam

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> piejam said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm into play not pain-sorry
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hi Pie.  I'm Kenny.  Welcome to the house.
> Do you go commando?
Click to expand...


I am SHE who must be obeyed!


----------



## kenny chaos

piejam said:
			
		

> I am SHE who must be obeyed!



Ahhhh.  That's so cute.


----------



## Dix

piejam said:
			
		

> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> piejam said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm into play not pain-sorry
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hi Pie.  I'm Kenny.  Welcome to the house.
> Do you go commando?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I am SHE who must be obeyed!
Click to expand...


We gotta a "SWEMBO" 

*happy dance*


----------



## piejam

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> piejam said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> piejam said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm into play not pain-sorry
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hi Pie.  I'm Kenny.  Welcome to the house.
> Do you go commando?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I am SHE who must be obeyed!
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> We gotta a "SWEMBO"
> 
> *happy dance*
Click to expand...


Hey Dix, my ole man always did say I was a PITA....


----------



## firefighterjake

tfdchief said:
			
		

> Dang, I have gotten in this thing so late, what could I possibly do?  OK, I will be the fire safety guy.......and NO Jake, you can't be my assistant, not if you are going to be half naked.  I think I will pick Dennis. :coolsmirk:



First safety rule when it comes to cooking bacon on the hot woodstove . . . don't do it while naked.


----------



## firefighterjake

Flatbedford said:
			
		

> You all forgot the biggest controversy. Horizontal vs. Vertical. The whole crew gathers around the splitter, while Dennis and Jake duke it out. We Fiskars owners quietly hand split just off camera.



Shouldn't be much of a contest. The way I see it . . .

a) Dennis takes one look at me splitting wood while half naked and gives up . . . forfeits the contest.
b) Dennis takes one look at me splitting wood while half naked and his eyes start bleeding . . . causing him to forfeit the contest.
c) I get a splinter in some delicate spot . . . and I end up forfeiting the contest.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Splitting wood half neked Jake? You gots balls boy let me tel ya :lol: 
One lil tiny piece..... :shut:


----------



## firefighterjake

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Splitting wood half neked Jake? You gots balls boy let me tel ya :lol:
> One lil tiny piece..... :shut:



Well . . . ball . . . Gamma . . . ball . . . after that accident last year.   . . .  I knew I should have invested in a cod piece.


----------



## Flatbedford

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> Flatbedford said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You all forgot the biggest controversy. Horizontal vs. Vertical. The whole crew gathers around the splitter, while Dennis and Jake duke it out. We Fiskars owners quietly hand split just off camera.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shouldn't be much of a contest. The way I see it . . .
> 
> a) Dennis takes one look at me splitting wood while half naked and gives up . . . forfeits the contest.
> b) Dennis takes one look at me splitting wood while half naked and his eyes start bleeding . . . causing him to forfeit the contest.
> c) I get a splinter in some delicate spot . . . and I end up forfeiting the contest.
Click to expand...


Dennis could probably make _your_ eyes bleed too!


----------



## firefighterjake

Flatbedford said:
			
		

> firefighterjake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Flatbedford said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You all forgot the biggest controversy. Horizontal vs. Vertical. The whole crew gathers around the splitter, while Dennis and Jake duke it out. We Fiskars owners quietly hand split just off camera.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shouldn't be much of a contest. The way I see it . . .
> 
> a) Dennis takes one look at me splitting wood while half naked and gives up . . . forfeits the contest.
> b) Dennis takes one look at me splitting wood while half naked and his eyes start bleeding . . . causing him to forfeit the contest.
> c) I get a splinter in some delicate spot . . . and I end up forfeiting the contest.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Dennis could probably make _your_ eyes bleed too!
Click to expand...


No doubt . . . Dennis is the Chuck Norris of Woodcutters . . . just one stern look and your eyes would start to bleed.


----------



## Delta-T

Its been too easy in the house up to this point...with all you "wood burners" wearing the red cod pieces and the "pellet heads" in the blue cod pieces....its time to mix it up! everyone take off your cod and put it into the hat....we'll be drawing new cod pieces, destroying old aliances and pushing the bounderies of sanity! Anyone for a mini bagel with chive cream chesse? They're delicious. 

(so glad to see WASABI is taking off....dont be fooled into thinking horseradish with green food coloring is the same, it aint....try yelling horseradish at your enemy and you'll see....you'll see)


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Pfft....I will tell ya all how its really going in the house...

Jack refuses to wear an ounce of clothing....
Pen's cooking sucks.....
AP blasts scary music in the middle of the night..
Jake snores like a friggin freight train...
Jagsy takes everything friggin apart in the joint only to put it back together (sometimes)
Delta has cut everyone's hair (except Hogzy's of course) at least 3 times...I don't have any left...
Hogzy does the laundry and has shrunken every item of clothing I own... >:-(

And BB spends an unbelievable amount of time in the bathroom....I am thinking he needs some exlax brownies.. :lol:


----------



## firefighterjake

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Pfft....I will tell ya all how its really going in the house...
> 
> Jack refuses to wear an ounce of clothing....
> Pen's cooking sucks.....
> AP blasts scary music in the middle of the night..
> Jake snores like a friggin freight train...
> Jagsy takes everything friggin apart in the joint only to put it back together (sometimes)
> Delta has cut everyone's hair (except Hogzy's of course) at least 3 times...I don't have any left...
> Hogzy does the laundry and has shrunken every item of clothing I own... >:-(
> 
> And BB spends an unbelievable amount of time in the bathroom....I am thinking he needs some exlax brownies.. :lol:



Whoa . . . what's really scary is you nailed my snoring . . . it's so bad that I sleep in a separate bedroom . . . actually did a sleep study due to my snoring . . . and once woke up to hear my best friend and brother debating whether it would be worth suffocating me with a pillow while we were on a camping trip.


----------



## Lousyweather

sitting here wondering who gets sent to Redemption Island first, and what pitfalls might occur there? NO toilet seats on the toilets? I thing we would all have our own version of hell......wait a minute, Redemption Island would rather seem like a REWARD, given whats going on in the regular villa.......and get the hell away from me with those sissors, Delta-T.


----------



## Jack Straw

We've been on the set for a week now and there are lots of problems and the situation is dire. I'll let Warren Zevon explain. RIP brother.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgyMUChgcbU


----------



## Delta-T

Lousyweather said:
			
		

> sitting here wondering who gets sent to Redemption Island first, and what pitfalls might occur there? NO toilet seats on the toilets? I thing we would all have our own version of hell......wait a minute, Redemption Island would rather seem like a REWARD, given whats going on in the regular villa.......and get the hell away from me with those sissors, Delta-T.



just a "trim", clean it up around the neck and ears....make it look "professional" like.
(in the haircutting world they are refered to as shears, scissors are for paper ;-) )


----------



## Lousyweather

oh, thats good, thought you were referring to "manscaping"....the weather is still cold here and I need it still......maybe in a month or two tho


----------



## Jags

Delta - do you do nose hair?  Gamma told me to ask.

Edit: and Gamma, your depiction of me is scary accurate.


----------



## Delta-T

Lousyweather said:
			
		

> oh, thats good, thought you were referring to "manscaping"....the weather is still cold here and I need it still......maybe in a month or two tho



that would be Jake's dept...I'm sure he'll be doing demonstations in "the lounge" later.....bring blinfold, I mean eye protection. I sure hope this airs after 10:00pm, its not sounding very "family friendly" if you know what I mean.


----------



## Delta-T

Jags said:
			
		

> Delta - do you do nose hair?  Gamma told me to ask.
> 
> Edit: and Gamma, your depiction of me is scary accurate.




I do.....lemme get my gloves though. DOnt worry Gamma, plenty of ladies have that....whats the word I'm looking for hear...."feature". No shame, its not like we're on TV....hmmmm


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:
			
		

> Delta - do you do nose hair?  Gamma told me to ask.
> 
> Edit: and Gamma, your depiction of me is scary accurate.



I know things......don't know how.....I scare myself sometimes..... :gulp:
and I have dreams that come true.... hh:

I don't have any nose hair Jagsy...... >:-(


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> I don't have any nose hair Jagsy...... >:-(



Shhh...nobody buys the "I am asking for a friend" thing anymore.


----------



## chuckie5fingers

Thanks for the "Welcome" Kenny! Ah, yeah,....I can do commando...I love Arnold......"I'll be back!"


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I don't have any nose hair Jagsy...... >:-(
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Shhh...nobody buys the "I am asking for a friend" thing anymore.
Click to expand...

 :-S 
Now I need a hug..... :smirk: cause I just over fired the stove...


----------



## Jags

Evaluator guy said:
			
		

> Thanks for the "Welcome" Kenny! Ah, yeah,....I can do commando...I love Arnold......"I'll be back!"



Okay - either you or piejam is gonna have to get a new avatar.  Its confusing my wee little brain. :lol:


----------



## Jags

Hugs?  Hugs for everyone.


----------



## Delta-T

Jags said:
			
		

> Hugs?  Hugs for everyone.



trying to start a fight again buddy??? you cant talk to me that way!! I'm a person you know. I have a feeling too!

(stomps feet and walks away)


----------



## Jags

Delta-T said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hugs?  Hugs for everyone.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> trying to start a fight again buddy??? you cant talk to me that way!! I'm a person you know. I have a feeling too!
> 
> (stomps feet and walks away)
Click to expand...

 
Hugs for everyone but Delta-T. :cheese:


----------



## GAMMA RAY

I see nobody cares that I had a lil over fire....I know who my friends are.... :coolcheese:


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> I see nobody cares that I had a lil over fire....I know who my friends are.... :coolcheese:



Ohhh...I caught it, but I wasn't up for giving a brow beating at that time.  I am now.

WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING????

How hot did it get??


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Friggin windy as all hell here.....half load went to 800 stove top....I gots it under control now...
Thanx Jagsy... ;-)


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Friggin windy as all hell here.....half load went to 800 stove top....I gots it under control now...
> Thanx Jagsy... ;-)



800? you didn't hurt anything.  Burn on.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Friggin windy as all hell here.....half load went to 800 stove top....I gots it under control now...
> Thanx Jagsy... ;-)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 800? you didn't hurt anything.  Burn on.
Click to expand...



Funny thing...I told Mr Gamma his wood sucked the other day....I had some problems with it...
I guess I was wrong....his wood is very good..... :smirk: 
I ain't telling him I was wrong....  :shut:


----------



## Jack Straw

"I guess I was wrongâ€¦.his wood is very goodâ€¦.. "

Was he the guy that requested the vodka with the Viagra in it?


----------



## piejam

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> I see nobody cares that I had a lil over fire....I know who my friends are.... :coolcheese:



Hey Gamma,

I know the feeling..at those temps were the guts glowing red?...I make enough mistakes on my own, trying to learn from others...Glad to see the guys think you are just fine...

Tell the "other guy" he would not want the same avatar as me since I am infamous around here-and I would not want him to suffer any fallout!!..lol..


----------



## Fi-Q

Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action, hey Gamma, how about an over temp fire that would put the house on fire ? Than the pellet pig could be right there looking at our house burning w/o helping... they'll be screaming: Ain't no chance this is happening to our pig shed 

    Or there could be a new guy, a new neighbor that rbought is old OWB with him and he is smoking half of the village and every body is piss at him..... and we're trying to find a way to make him disapear and when we would be right a the last moment....... just before we look like we are about to make the NEW GUY to disapear, it would be the end of the episode, saying: Stay lit for next week new last episode of HEARTH.COM


----------



## BrotherBart

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> I see nobody cares that I had a lil over fire....I know who my friends are.... :coolcheese:



Like Mike Holton told me "It won't split down the middle.".

Now, come on over here in this dark corner of Hearth House and tell old BB all about it. Have a little of this wine to ease your nerves after your over fire. BTW: What time is Mr. Gamma due back?


----------



## Dix

Subterfuge, eh ???? Hmmmm........


----------



## pen

Fi-Q said:
			
		

> Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action



Have the producers send down a letter explaining everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug: 

pen


----------



## Dix

pen said:
			
		

> Fi-Q said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have the producers send down a letter explaining everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug:
> 
> pen
Click to expand...


That ain't happening *hands on hips*


----------



## Fi-Q

pen said:
			
		

> Fi-Q said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have the producers send down a letter explaining everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug:
> 
> pen
Click to expand...


I'm in  Will hide a keg in a old boiler so only me , you and a few selected others will know where the booze is    !! Or will hide it in the wood shed, behind the stack of dry yellow birch!


----------



## Dix

Fi-Q said:
			
		

> pen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Fi-Q said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have the producers send down a letter explaining everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug:
> 
> pen
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I'm in  Will hide a keg in a old boiler so only me , you and a few selected others will know where the booze is    !! Or will hide it in the wood shed, behind the stack of dry yellow birch!
Click to expand...


There's a subtle clue.


----------



## Thistle

pen said:
			
		

> Fi-Q said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have the producers send down a letter explaining everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug:
> 
> pen
Click to expand...


Oh hell no.  :ahhh:


----------



## pen

Thistle said:
			
		

> pen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Fi-Q said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have the producers send down a letter explaining everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug:
> 
> pen
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Oh hell no.  :ahhh:
Click to expand...


A little hearth.com prohibition would create one hell of a liar/cheater/sneak out of most of us  :lol: 

"They" wanted drama!  Some folks are already using the area behind the wood shed for sacrificial activities as I understand it; so we'll have to be creative w/ the location of the speak easy.

pen


----------



## begreen

I see a green crop production supplying relief. Great for thickening the plot as the inspector becomes the dealer. Kenny, fork up another C-note.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Come to think of it, pen gives up all liquor for lent....LMFAO... :lol: 

So excuse him burners ...he gets cranky half way through lent cause beer won't cut it :lol:  ;-)  :coolsmile:


----------



## Fi-Q

Ok, in the nest episode, BB is running crazy cause of the proibition, he is tursty like a trout in july in the middle of a gravel pit !! So the guys decide it is time to distilled booze from that potato mixture that I ve been keeping in my cellar. So wre using a home made. Oiler to get some vodka !! In turns intoo a bad batch and it s killing kenny . OMG they killed kenny  But we re deeiding to keep hat kenny havent drank to gave to the vampire and werewolves


----------



## Jack Straw

I thought that some of the ideas were getting crazy, but last night I watched a show called Doomsday Preppers. Those folks are way out there. We need to step things up if we are going to compete. Maybe we need a Thunder Dome (a giant HH?), 2 men enter 1 man leave.


----------



## Flatbedford

pen said:
			
		

> everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug:
> 
> pen



 I don't do lent. It would be unconstitutional to force me to observe.


----------



## firefighterjake

Lousyweather said:
			
		

> sitting here wondering who gets sent to Redemption Island first, and what pitfalls might occur there? NO toilet seats on the toilets? I thing we would all have our own version of hell......wait a minute, Redemption Island would rather seem like a REWARD, given whats going on in the regular villa.......and get the hell away from me with those sissors, Delta-T.



I hear all the wood for the camp fire on Redemption Island is half rotten or wet and unseasoned . . . even though Probst was told that the wood was seasoned when he bought it and had it flown in for the show.


----------



## firefighterjake

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> I see nobody cares that I had a lil over fire....I know who my friends are.... :coolcheese:



I guess I know who we need to vote off the island now . . .


----------



## firefighterjake

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I see nobody cares that I had a lil over fire....I know who my friends are.... :coolcheese:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I guess I know who we need to vote off the island now . . .
Click to expand...


On second thought I changed my mind . . . you're too much fun to vote off . . . I vote that we have a tie and do the fire starter challenge . . . whoever can start a fire the fastest with the top down method gets to stay.


----------



## DAKSY

pen said:
			
		

> everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug: pen



I gave up booze in 96, along with a couple other things. I always give up fish 
& Lima Beans for Lent. Drove my ex-MiL NUTS. Hmm..will there be a place of 
worship on our Hearth Fantasy Island (Ze Flame! Ze Flame!), or just a statue
of Vesta?


----------



## Delta-T

DAKSY said:
			
		

> pen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug: pen
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I gave up booze in 96, along with a couple other things. I always give up fish
> & Lima Beans for Lent. Drove my ex-MiL NUTS. Hmm..will there be a place of
> worship on our Hearth Fantasy Island (Ze Flame! Ze Flame!), or just a statue
> of Vesta?
Click to expand...

i am an ordained minister...in real life. Bring your fav idols, we can all worship together. We'll call it "bonding".


----------



## Delta-T

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
			
		

> Fi-Q said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> pen said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Fi-Q said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ok, the show is getting boring, loosing audience... we need some action
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Have the producers send down a letter explaining everyone is giving up booze for lent  :bug:
> 
> pen
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I'm in  Will hide a keg in a old boiler so only me , you and a few selected others will know where the booze is    !! Or will hide it in the wood shed, behind the stack of dry yellow birch!
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> There's a subtle clue.
Click to expand...


need an ID folks...which one is the "yellow birch"? Is it this one that smells like gin?


----------



## BrotherBart

DAKSY said:
			
		

> Hmm..will there be a place of
> worship on our Hearth Fantasy Island (Ze Flame! Ze Flame!), or just a statue
> of Vesta?



A statue of Bob Fisher.


----------



## kenny chaos

Been down hard with the flu.
I think it was those wings.


----------



## Jack Straw

Oh I see how it goes, we are all competing to stay on the show and poor Kenny gets the "flu"   :coolmad:


----------



## GAMMA RAY

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.



You just think its the flu.....maybes someone "tainted" your food .....or your toothbrush.... :sick:  :shut:


----------



## DAKSY

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.



If it was from wings, wouldn't that be "FLEW?"


----------



## ironpony

Hi all,

I am here to replace the wood stove with a pellet stove
Oh, and I will  be staying on to maintain said stove
anyone have a problem with that??

move along now nothing to see here

IP starts to disconnect wood stove
Gamma starts crying
Jake puts some clothes on
BB stomps outside
Kenny jumps in to help
Daksy rides off into sunset ( I think to get some alcohol)


----------



## Jags

kenny chaos said:
			
		

> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.



Bird flue or the Sars?

...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Pony...the Gamma does not cry.....EVER! :coolsmirk: 
You do realize I have anger management issues.....you know....before you dismantle that friggin stove?
 :smirk:


----------



## ironpony

IP tries to reason with Jags
get of the stove fool.................
I know,
Jags go build us a pellet spltter so we can split our tiny little logs
Jags jumps down and runs of to the shop to get started
on his project


----------



## ironpony

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Pony...the Gamma does not cry.....EVER! :coolsmirk:
> You do realize I have anger management issues.....you know....before you dismantle that friggin stove?
> :smirk:




you are to late little lady
the stove is on its way to the scrap yard.....................
now dry those tears and help me get this new stove in place


----------



## Adios Pantalones

Jags said:
			
		

> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
Click to expand...


I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...


----------



## Jags

Adios Pantalones said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
Click to expand...


Shhhh...I'm trying to solder the wedge I made from the tab on a coke can to the beam made from an old ink pen.  I don't think the stir straws are going to work worth a darn for the hydro lines.


----------



## Flatbedford

Dennis and I are still out back splitting wood...and maybe having a few of whatever was hidden out in the wood pile when the religious zealot producers made us "give up" alcohol for lent.


----------



## ironpony

Flatbedford said:
			
		

> *Dennis and I are still out back splitting wood*...and maybe having a few of whatever was hidden out in the wood pile when the religious zealot producers made us "give up" alcohol for lent.





The pellet burners have taken over
we no longer burn wood here
the stoves are being switched out as we speak

stay thirsty my friends...........


----------



## firefighterjake

Adios Pantalones said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
Click to expand...


Never fear . . . EMT Jake is here . . . with an automatic external defibrillator . . . rest assured AP I will soon revive you with my kiss of life . . . aka CPR and one helluva shock from the AED . . . barring that, maybe just knowing I am about to do the lip lock on you will cause you to suddenly be all better.


----------



## firefighterjake

Flatbedford said:
			
		

> Dennis and I are still out back splitting wood...and maybe having a few of whatever was hidden out in the wood pile when the religious zealot producers made us "give up" alcohol for lent.



I'm not Catholic . . . but I gave up burning pellets for Lent . . . does this mean I can still drink my Woodchucks?


----------



## GAMMA RAY

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Never fear . . . EMT Jake is here . . . with an automatic external defibrillator . . . rest assured AP I will soon revive you with my kiss of life . . . aka CPR and one helluva shock from the AED . . . barring that, maybe just knowing I am about to do the lip lock on you will cause you to suddenly be all better.
Click to expand...


I can revive as well here   .....ACLS certified....we can share the responsibilities Jake...


----------



## Delta-T

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> firefighterjake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Never fear . . . EMT Jake is here . . . with an automatic external defibrillator . . . rest assured AP I will soon revive you with my kiss of life . . . aka CPR and one helluva shock from the AED . . . barring that, maybe just knowing I am about to do the lip lock on you will cause you to suddenly be all better.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I can revive as well here   .....ACLS certified....we can share the responsibilities Jake...
Click to expand...


back off folks...this ones gonna take a "professional".....someone get me a spatula and 100cc corn syrup STAT! (see that, its doctor lingo, in keeping with the idiom ;-) )

...oh, what exactly are we doin again?


----------



## Flatbedford

ironpony said:
			
		

> Flatbedford said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Dennis and I are still out back splitting wood*...and maybe having a few of whatever was hidden out in the wood pile when the religious zealot producers made us "give up" alcohol for lent.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The pellet burners have taken over
> we no longer burn wood here
> the stoves are being switched out as we speak
> 
> stay thirsty my friends...........
Click to expand...


The wood burners will be back! Just wait until the next power failure and Gamma starts getting cold! We'll be throwing splits in those silly pellet thingies. Maybe a few 55 gallon drums out back too!


----------



## Flatbedford

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> firefighterjake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Never fear . . . EMT Jake is here . . . with an automatic external defibrillator . . . rest assured AP I will soon revive you with my kiss of life . . . aka CPR and one helluva shock from the AED . . . barring that, maybe just knowing I am about to do the lip lock on you will cause you to suddenly be all better.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I can revive as well here   .....ACLS certified....we can share the responsibilities Jake...
Click to expand...


I took the class too! You EMTs and nuke med folks aren't that special!


----------



## Jags

Just an afterthought, but should we be contacting Stihl to get on the design phase of the new Sthil .000362?


----------



## Flatbedford

Jags said:
			
		

> Just an afterthought, but should we be contacting Stihl to get on the design phase of the new Sthil .000362?



you could, but we won't be needing it anyway. The wood burners have already brought in some new REAL stoves and Dennis is out back splitting the pellet stoves vertically.


----------



## ironpony

Jags said:
			
		

> Just an afterthought, but should we be contacting Stihl to get on the design phase of the new Sthil .000362?




get back to work on that splitter 
times a wasting


you think we need that big of a saw????????


----------



## Jags

ironpony said:
			
		

> get back to work on that splitter
> times a wasting



Okay, using a metal splinter from my finger for the control valve....


----------



## Delta-T

Delta-t waits patiently for "WORLDS TINIEST HH" to be built from freshly split pellets. You know what they say...softwood pellets cause hairy palms...so they say.


----------



## Jags

Duct tape  Who's got the darn duct tape?  GAMMMA - leave Bart alone and give me back the duct tape.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

I do not share my duct tape with anyone Jagsy....... >:-( you would not believe what I use it for.... :cheese: 
BB can't you stop moving for a minute dammit....


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> I do not share my duct tape with anyone Jagsy.......



Dangit - how do you expect me to build the axle underneath this thing?  Friggen pellets..mumblemumblemumble.


----------



## Flatbedford

Stop with the pellets already. the pellet stoves have been vertically split! We are back on real wood as we should always have been.


----------



## Jags

Flatbedford said:
			
		

> Stop with the pellets already.



I have to, now.  The 1/80 hp Tecumseh engine is broke and DeltaT won't give me the two buttons from his sombrero for the wheels.

Back to cord wood for me.


----------



## DAKSY

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> firefighterjake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Never fear . . . EMT Jake is here . . . with an automatic external defibrillator . . . rest assured AP I will soon revive you with my kiss of life . . . aka CPR and one helluva shock from the AED . . . barring that, maybe just knowing I am about to do the lip lock on you will cause you to suddenly be all better.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I can revive as well here   .....ACLS certified....we can share the responsibilities Jake...
Click to expand...


ACLS?
Atomic Chick Likes Splits?
Ash Can Lugging Siren?
?


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Advanced Cardiac Life Support Daksy.....
I like your version....the Atomic chick one.... :lol:


----------



## firefighterjake

Flatbedford said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> firefighterjake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos" date="1330016580 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Never fear . . . EMT Jake is here . . . with an automatic external defibrillator . . . rest assured AP I will soon revive you with my kiss of life . . . aka CPR and one helluva shock from the AED . . . barring that, maybe just knowing I am about to do the lip lock on you will cause you to suddenly be all better.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I can revive as well here   .....ACLS certified....we can share the responsibilities Jake...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I took the class too! You EMTs and nuke med folks aren't that special!
Click to expand...


My wife says I am very special . . . but she's usually rolling her eyes when she says it.

OK . . . sounds good . . . Flatbed can do the lip lock . . . Gamma can do the pump and thump . . . and I'll go see if Jags can't fabricate us an AED with a set of booster cables, a few AAA batteries and some duct tape . . . c'mon Gamma . . . give up the duct tape . . . we need it to bring back Adios P.


----------



## DAKSY

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> Flatbedford said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> firefighterjake said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Adios Pantalones said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags" date="1330023330 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kenny chaos" date="1330016580 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been down hard with the flu.
> I think it was those wings.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Bird flue or the Sars?
> 
> ...and Jags jumps on top of the stove to be removed and states "over AP's dead body".
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I check into this thread for the first time in days and see that I'm not forgotten. You guys really do love me! oh- wait- dead...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Never fear . . . EMT Jake is here . . . with an automatic external defibrillator . . . rest assured AP I will soon revive you with my kiss of life . . . aka CPR and one helluva shock from the AED . . . barring that, maybe just knowing I am about to do the lip lock on you will cause you to suddenly be all better.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I can revive as well here   .....ACLS certified....we can share the responsibilities Jake...
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I took the class too! You EMTs and nuke med folks aren't that special!
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> My wife says I am very special . . . but she's usually rolling her eyes when she says it.
> 
> OK . . . sounds good . . . Flatbed can do the lip lock . . . Gamma can do the pump and thump . . . and I'll go see if Jags can't fabricate us an AED with a set of booster cables, a few AAA batteries and some duct tape . . . c'mon Gamma . . . give up the duct tape . . . we need it to bring back Adios P.
Click to expand...


*CLEAR!*


----------



## Jags

A couple of capacitors from A/P's stereo (hey, he won't need it if he's dead), the AAA batteries, some diet coke and duct tape.  Come on Gamma, give up the dang duct tape, already.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:
			
		

> A couple of capacitors from A/P's stereo (hey, he won't need it if he's dead), the AAA batteries, some diet coke and duct tape.  Come on Gamma, give up the dang duct tape, already.




I don't share well with others....you guys should know that >:-( 

Just an fyi Jagsy.....next time you use my expensive shampoo.....well.....I put Nair hair remover in it...
That is why Mr Gamma never uses my hair products....him scared :lol:


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> A couple of capacitors from A/P's stereo (hey, he won't need it if he's dead), the AAA batteries, some diet coke and duct tape.  Come on Gamma, give up the dang duct tape, already.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I don't share well with others....you guys should know that >:-(
> 
> Just an fyi Jagsy.....next time you use my expensive shampoo.....well.....I put Nair hair remover in it...
> That is why Mr Gamma never uses my hair products....him scared :lol:
Click to expand...


Oh yeah, well see if I wash your back, next time (I was triple blind folded).


----------



## firefighterjake

Jags said:
			
		

> A couple of capacitors from A/P's stereo (hey, he won't need it if he's dead), the AAA batteries, some diet coke and duct tape.  Come on Gamma, give up the dang duct tape, already.



Don't forget the Mentos . . . we can pop a few of those in his mouth and pour in some Diet Coke . . . he'll froth up nicely then . . . it will look spectactular on camera.


----------



## firefighterjake

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> A couple of capacitors from A/P's stereo (hey, he won't need it if he's dead), the AAA batteries, some diet coke and duct tape.  Come on Gamma, give up the dang duct tape, already.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I don't share well with others....you guys should know that >:-(
> 
> Just an fyi Jagsy.....next time you use my expensive shampoo.....well.....I put Nair hair remover in it...
> That is why Mr Gamma never uses my hair products....him scared :lol:
Click to expand...



Darn it Gamma . . . and here I thought I was going bald because I was burning pine in the woodstove . . . didn't realize it was your shampoo/Nair . . . and for the record I couldn't help myself . . . your shampoo smelled so much better than the cheap Suave stuff I was using.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Well now that the truth is coming out, I wanna know who has been wearing my leopard print robe and matching slippers.....
I think I know who it is because I found a ketchup stain on the front of it and the slippers are stretched out....

There is one person in the house that puts ketchup on everything and has very big feet..you know who you are...


----------



## firefighterjake

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Well now that the truth is coming out, I wanna know who has been wearing my leopard print robe and matching slippers.....
> I think I know who it is because I found a ketchup stain on the front of it and the slippers are stretched out....
> 
> There is one person in the house that puts ketchup on everything and has very big feet..you know who you are...



Wasn't me . . . I only wear size 10 shoes . . . and I put BBQ sauce on everything . . . not ketchup.


----------



## snowleopard

Sorry I've been out of touch--very, very busy.  When I got back from the workshop on Monday, Buddy (lacking thumbs) was unable to do the stake-to-the-heart/silver-bullet thing, so instead of killing them, he had all the vampires, werewolves, and a couple of House of Craigslist strays rounded up and working up the standing dead trees in the back forty.   Had about 12 cords split and stacked when I arrived, and we just finished up the 14-15 stacks.  They're coming along, as a whole, and once the vampires and werewolves had to work together for awhile, they realized that what united them was stronger than what separated them.  Lots of tears, group hugs, a barbeque (don't ask-don't tell, but the CL folks probably won't be reporting home soon).   

Did I miss anything?


----------



## Jags

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Did I miss anything?



AP was dead, but FFJake brought him back around.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Snow, do you like ketchup and what size shoes do you wear?


----------



## snowleopard

No ketchup ever again, not after the barbeque.  TMI.   :vampire: 

I don't wear shoes. 

AP might want to hang out with the gang back by the big oak tree, then.  We have lots of people who were dead, but are no longer . . . exactly . . . dead . . .


ETA: I have to say, perimeter patrol has taken on a whole new flavor, so to speak.  I pretty much just hang out in the oak tree and watch the action from a circumspect distance.  I can say that none of you need worry anymore about security breaches. And Loon--Buddy got a little scratch when he was holding down the fort.  Bandaged it up. Just saying.  Might not mean anything.


----------



## daveswoodhauler

Rumor has it that "Puck" just entered the house...man that guy is funny. (And I said "Puck" not to be confused with Pook)


----------



## GAMMA RAY

daveswoodhauler said:
			
		

> Rumor has it that "Puck" just entered the house...man that guy is funny. (And I said "Puck" not to be confused with Pook)




I remember Puck...that is when I used to watch the Real World...
Was he not the one that used to pull boogers from his nose and put them on people's food? :shut: 

I wonder what size shoe Dix takes and if she likes ketchup...Hmmm...


----------



## HollowHill

OK, I can't take it anymore.  It's me.  I douse everything with ketchup and, well, my feet are ginormous.  Sorry, Gamma, but the leopard spot robe went oh so well with my coloring, hid the age spots real well...


----------



## GAMMA RAY

O relax Hollow....you can wear my clothing anytime you want....I will share with you girl friend...

I really thought it was zap though, I know he is a neat freak and all...

I say this because he straightens all the pillows on the sofa constantly AND he grabs the glass right out of your hand to wash it before you even finish your drink... >:-( 

Hands off my marykay moisturizer and serums though.....it may git ugly if you buggerz use those products... :snake:


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Sorry I've been out of touch--very, very busy.  When I got back from the workshop on Monday, Buddy (lacking thumbs) was unable to do the stake-to-the-heart/silver-bullet thing, so instead of killing them, he had all the vampires, werewolves, and a couple of House of Craigslist strays rounded up and working up the standing dead trees in the back forty.   Had about 12 cords split and stacked when I arrived, and we just finished up the 14-15 stacks.  They're coming along, as a whole, and once the vampires and werewolves had to work together for awhile, they realized that what united them was stronger than what separated them.  Lots of tears, group hugs, a barbeque (don't ask-don't tell, but the CL folks probably won't be reporting home soon).
> 
> Did I miss anything?




We can house them in the barn. Plenty of extra stalls. No problemo.


Dixie wears a size *zero* shoe. She's got smallish hooves. And she hates ketchup.


Damn, what do I do with the extra toga's _now_???


----------



## snowleopard

If you could leave the togas hanging around on branches in the woods on the morning after a full moon, I'm thinking they would be put to use.  

Barn sounds good.  Last night they were up late (at least, I think it's late) singing Kumbaya around the campfire.  Enough is enough.  I want my private lair back and I'm slipping behind on my krav maga practice.  I'll have Buddy round them up and head up there later this afternoon.  Tell Loon he might want to keep an eye on that scratch.  And any tendencies or appetites he starts displaying.  If you get my drift . . .


----------



## BrotherBart

This being the slut ain't all it's cracked up to be. Been sitting out here behind this pile of birch with all of this wine and no action. Nothing but weird sounds coming from the woods and back at the house.


----------



## Dix

The slut is _always_ the last to know. Didn't you see Saturday Night Fever??????? 


Will do on the toga's, and I'm sending the laurel wreaths, too. Might make for more Kumbaya. And the laurel can be put on Buddy's scratch, too. Good Karma, ya know !


Better get the milling boys out here, we're probably going to need a breeding shed, or two.


----------



## snowleopard

I think if you inebriate up a bit and head for the barn around nightfall, you'll get plenty of play.

Umm, Dix.  They point I'm trying to make is that I don't think Buddy took _precautions_, if you get my drift.  I am not sure that laurel is that effective in preventing the spread of lycanthropy.  But I don't even know if Ewoks can catch that.  So that's why I say it's probably no big deal, but if you see Loon around, just give me the head's-up, okay?

ETA: and to throw gasoline on the fires of the grammar war, I include a link to this useful compilation of collective nouns: http://wondermark.com/566/ 

BB, you may want to brush up on these before you head to the barn this evening.


----------



## Jack Straw

I got yet another call from the production company and there is a problem with all of the nudity.  They have to buy the chemical they use to blur the "nekid" parts on camera by the gallon. They said it only takes a few quarts to cover y'alls front parts, but  they are gonna need several 55 gal drums for all of the fat arses. (their actual words)

So unless you are willing to do the full monte on HBO, there will be no more nudity. :exclaim:


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> I think if you inebriate up a bit and head for the barn around nightfall, you'll get plenty of play.
> 
> Umm, Dix.  They point I'm trying to make is that I don't think Buddy took _precautions_, if you get my drift.  I am not sure that laurel is that effective in preventing the spread of lycanthropy.  But I don't even know if Ewoks can catch that.  So that's why I say it's probably no big deal, but if you see Loon around, just give me the head's-up, okay?



Ok, will do *mental note, Loon needs a message that Buddy might turn into Marty Mcfly*


----------



## snowleopard

Might.  _Might._


----------



## BrotherBart

OK. Whrersh tha barn and whyse everybody weaving sho mush.


----------



## Dix

snowleopard said:
			
		

> Might.  _Might._



Complete with Delorean? Oy vey !! What a tangle !


----------



## piejam

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> This being the slut ain't all it's cracked up to be. Been sitting out here behind this pile of birch with all of this wine and no action. Nothing but weird sounds coming from the woods and back at the house.



If you are giving up the title I would be happy to oblige. Hope I get invited to Hearth Island...You can lock me in a cave-I won't mind as long as I have my "Big Girls Toys"..Please let me bring my Voodoo dolls and stick pins.. promise to leave Kathleen's chickens alone. Rather fond of human sacrifice but limited to pellet burners...

If you get the action you seek, I can always reinvent myself as a Drama Queen...

Rick no wardrobe malfunctions here, I'm a natural girl........


----------



## snowleopard

Y'all at the house might want to keep an eye out for someone slipping inside in the wee hours wearing BB's shirt w/his hat pulled low over his face.  Just saying.


----------



## Dix

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> OK. Whrersh tha barn and whyse everybody weaving sho mush.



There ya go BB, have a nice robe, and some slippers *tucks a tooth brush in your pocket for good measure*.

They're weaving because of Kumbaya, get jiggy with it !


----------



## Jags

*Wasabi!!*


----------



## Delta-T

Jags said:
			
		

> *Wasabi!!*


dangit Jags, one cannot go around yelling WASABI like that...turns blood to ice you know....way too early for that, way too early. Think BB will mind if I just "borrow" his slippers for a bit? they do look rather cumfy. ANyone else ever get 2 mosquito bites on their neck, side by side like that? In Febua...Frebru...late winter? What a strange place this is.


----------



## Jags

*Horseradish *

The kinder, gentler version.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Delta-T said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Wasabi!!*
> 
> 
> 
> dangit Jags, one cannot go around yelling WASABI like that...turns blood to ice you know....way too early for that, way too early. Think BB will mind if I just "borrow" his slippers for a bit? they do look rather cumfy. ANyone else ever get 2 mosquito bites on their neck, side by side like that? In Febua...Frebru...late winter? What a strange place this is.
Click to expand...


I would not go near BB's slippers......they have a "not so fresh" smell...ok they are rank....you know BB has the foot odor problem.... :shut: 

Yes....I gots those 2 bites on my neck....and another area...weird....


----------



## Delta-T

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Wasabi!!*
> 
> 
> 
> dangit Jags, one cannot go around yelling WASABI like that...turns blood to ice you know....way too early for that, way too early. Think BB will mind if I just "borrow" his slippers for a bit? they do look rather cumfy. ANyone else ever get 2 mosquito bites on their neck, side by side like that? In Febua...Frebru...late winter? What a strange place this is.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I would not go near BB's slippers......they have a "not so fresh" smell...ok they are rank....you know BB has the foot odor problem.... :shut:
> 
> Yes....I gots those 2 bites on my neck....and another area...weird....
Click to expand...


what kind of strange person goes about sniffing other people's slippers?? Gamma's a slipper sniffer!! Who'd a-thunk-it? Caught me totally unawares, by surprise even.


----------



## DAKSY

Jags said:
			
		

> *Wasabi!!*



WASABI? 
This some kinda weird lumberjack subliminal message thingie? 
Anybody else notice that when you play it backwards, you get 
IBASAW... ("I BE a SAW!") 
WTF?


----------



## Jags

DAKSY said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Wasabi!!*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WASABI?
> This some kinda weird lumberjack subliminal message thingie?
> Anybody else notice that when you play it backwards, you get
> IBASAW... ("I BE a SAW!")
> WTF?
Click to expand...


Command of the force, you must take. You must unlearn what you have learned. The force will be with you. <--in my best Yoda voice.


----------



## Delta-T

DAKSY said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Wasabi!!*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> WASABI?
> This some kinda weird lumberjack subliminal message thingie?
> Anybody else notice that when you play it backwards, you get
> IBASAW... ("I BE a SAW!")
> WTF?
Click to expand...


whoa...that is some weirdness. one time, I played Sgt. Peppers backwards....nothing happened.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jagsy....is it "beer thirty" yet? %-P  :lol:  :ahhh:


----------



## loon




----------



## Jack Straw

Is that an ewok?


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Jagsy....is it "beer thirty" yet? %-P  :lol:  :ahhh:



Absofreekinloutly.


----------



## DAKSY

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> Is that an ewok?



Either that or Chewbacca's baby pic.... :lol:


----------



## snowleopard

And possibly a werewok. Or an Ewampire. Time will tell.


----------



## Jack Straw

Just as long as he isn't nekid! :coolsmile:


----------



## Delta-T

snowleopard said:
			
		

> And possibly a werewok. Or an Ewampire. Time will tell.



i fear that even the word WASABI will be useless against such foes as these....we should all be afraid....like the really scared kind of afraid.


----------



## Jags

WWCND


(What would Chuck Norris do?)


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Delta-T said:
			
		

> snowleopard said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And possibly a werewok. Or an Ewampire. Time will tell.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> i fear that even the word WASABI will be useless against such foes as these....we should all be afraid....like the really scared kind of afraid.
Click to expand...


One word.....CHAINSAW........
That is why I have one in my bedroom....
I don't care what those mudders are...a chainsaw will do the job.... ;-) 
Wasabi...Pfft....


----------



## Jack Straw

"One word.....CHAINSAW........
That is why I have one in my bedroom...."


A chainsaw in the bedroom.....what are you cutting? Morning wood? Please no id on that one! :lol: 
(I apologize for that one, but I just had to say it)


----------



## GAMMA RAY

BB says "chainsaw" for intruders dammit.....
I gots one at the office too.....JIC....Mr Gamma's old Echo one... :coolgrin:


----------



## DAKSY

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> "One word.....CHAINSAW........
> That is why I have one in my bedroom...."
> 
> 
> A chainsaw in the bedroom.....what are you cutting? Morning wood? Please no id on that one! :lol:
> (I apologize for that one, but I just had to say it)



 :bug:  :exclaim:


----------



## kenny chaos

Watched Jeepers Creepers 2 today.  Worried about you guys with you killer dogs and chainsaw weapons.

Here's the movie on youtube,  Part 1, I assume you can find 2, 3, 4, etc..  Maybe nobody will make it that far.

I suggest our weapons experts take notes.

Be safe....... :ahhh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bQUjPu6blg&feature=related


----------



## snowleopard

Delta-T said:
			
		

> snowleopard said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And possibly a werewok. Or an Ewampire. Time will tell.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> i fear that even the word WASABI will be useless against such foes as these....we should all be afraid....like the really scared kind of afraid.
Click to expand...


Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  WS

Just because he's developed a few new . . . uhh . . . habits . . . doesn't mean that he's suddenly a _foe_.  He's still Buddy, our little Buddy, good ol' boy.  Right?  Buddy? . .  

[backs slowly away, avoiding sudden moves]


----------



## loon

Jack Straw said:
			
		

> "One word.....CHAINSAW........
> That is why I have one in my bedroom...."
> 
> 
> A chainsaw in the bedroom.....what are you cutting? Morning wood? Please no id on that one! :lol:
> (I apologize for that one, but I just had to say it)




 :cheese:   :lol: 


Everybody has to watch it though...Nothing worse than a Ewampire taking a puff off a Tiparillo!  :coolgrin: 

loon


----------



## DAKSY

loon said:
			
		

> Jack Straw said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "One word.....CHAINSAW........
> That is why I have one in my bedroom...."
> 
> 
> A chainsaw in the bedroom.....what are you cutting? Morning wood? Please no id on that one! :lol:
> (I apologize for that one, but I just had to say it)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :cheese:   :lol:
> 
> 
> Everybody has to watch it though...Nothing worse than a Ewampire taking a puff off a Tiparillo!  :coolgrin:
> 
> loon
Click to expand...


See? Smoking DOES stunt your growth!


----------



## Dix




----------



## snowleopard

Anyone seen BB lately?


----------



## Dix

Nope. He was acting alittle weird last time I saw him, though.


Snow, does Buddy have a scratch, or two holes on his neck?


----------



## snowleopard

Heck, I don't know.  Staying up here in my oak tree since the life slip landed with heavily armed Ewoks in it.  Said they were looking for the lost Galactic Imperial Prince, as his father the Emperor was growing frail.   I just pointed towards the barn.


----------



## Dix

That explains the strange foot prints. And Buddy acting weird. And BB.

Dagnabit.


Who's got the beer stashed? My dilithium crystals are running low. They recharge on beer, and I ain't got none.


We're gonna need Rufus for this one, I think.


----------



## loon

Uh Oh!!

It's loose  :lol: 

loon


----------



## Flatbedford

Looks like even Emma is a little concerned about Buddy.


----------



## loon

Flatbedford said:
			
		

> Looks like even Emma is a little concerned about Buddy.



 He try's :cheese:


----------



## thewoodlands

Emma's version of a Happy Meal! 


zap ;-)


----------



## thewoodlands

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> snowleopard said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And possibly a werewok. Or an Ewampire. Time will tell.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> i fear that even the word WASABI will be useless against such foes as these....we should all be afraid....like the really scared kind of afraid.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> One word.....CHAINSAW........
> That is why I have one in my bedroom....
> I don't care what those mudders are...a chainsaw will do the job.... ;-)
> Wasabi...Pfft....
Click to expand...



I take it Mr. G covers his wood with Kevlar!  :vampire: 


zap


----------



## Hogwildz

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> This being the slut ain't all it's cracked up to be. Been sitting out here behind this pile of birch with all of this wine and no action. Nothing but weird sounds coming from the woods and back at the house.



When you hear dueling banjos playing......RUN!! Or Squeal, Squeal like a pig. weeeee, wee wee wee!!


----------



## Jags

Hogwildz said:
			
		

> weeeee, wee wee wee!!



Oh great - now I got that stupid insurance commercial running around in my head.


----------



## Flatbedford

That was one of our sponsors.


----------



## Delta-T

Hogwildz said:
			
		

> BrotherBart said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This being the slut ain't all it's cracked up to be. Been sitting out here behind this pile of birch with all of this wine and no action. Nothing but weird sounds coming from the woods and back at the house.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> When you hear dueling banjos playing......RUN!! Or Squeal, Squeal like a pig. weeeee, wee wee wee!!
Click to expand...


you got a purty mouth...


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:
			
		

> Hogwildz said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> weeeee, wee wee wee!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh great - now I got that stupid insurance commercial running around in my head.
Click to expand...



You should have a parrot that mimics that commercial constantly.....
Wee wee wee...........wee wee......wee! >:-(


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hogwildz said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> weeeee, wee wee wee!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh great - now I got that stupid insurance commercial running around in my head.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> You should have a parrot that mimics that commercial constantly.....
> Wee wee wee...........wee wee......wee! >:-(
Click to expand...


Two words...Pot Pie.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

How about one word Jagsy....pot.... :lol:


----------



## firefighterjake

Jags said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hogwildz said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> weeeee, wee wee wee!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh great - now I got that stupid insurance commercial running around in my head.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> You should have a parrot that mimics that commercial constantly.....
> Wee wee wee...........wee wee......wee! >:-(
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Two words...Pot Pie.
Click to expand...


Those anything like Pot Brownies?


----------



## Jags

I am pretty sure that I would giggle my azz off if I saw a bird token on a doobie.


----------



## Delta-T

If I told you once, I told you like 7 times...dont use that word...unless you got some, and are willing to share....and buy me a soda...and some Bit-O-Honey....I love Bit-O-Honey, make you salivate like crazy.


----------



## Delta-T

Jags said:
			
		

> I am pretty sure that I would giggle my azz off if I saw a bird token on a doobie.



I seen a werewok/ewampire takin a few pulls on something earlier in this thread....


----------



## Jags

Delta-T said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I am pretty sure that I would giggle my azz off if I saw a bird token on a doobie.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I seen a werewok/ewampire takin a few pulls on something earlier in this thread....
Click to expand...


That explains the eyes.....


----------



## Delta-T

Jags said:
			
		

> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I am pretty sure that I would giggle my azz off if I saw a bird token on a doobie.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I seen a werewok/ewampire takin a few pulls on something earlier in this thread....
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> That explains the eyes.....
Click to expand...


you can see my eyes???? damn, you're good....like an eagle


----------



## Jags

Delta-T said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I am pretty sure that I would giggle my azz off if I saw a bird token on a doobie.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I seen a werewok/ewampire takin a few pulls on something earlier in this thread....
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> That explains the eyes.....
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> you can see my eyes???? damn, you're good....like an eagle
Click to expand...


And I know what you are thinking....


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jagsy is almost "magical" in his ways del....
very very talented bugger....

BTW Jagsy I have an item that needs fixing....maybes you can take a look at it after supper... :-S


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Jagsy is almost "magical" in his ways del....
> very very talented bugger....
> 
> BTW Jagsy I have an item that needs fixing....maybes you can take a look at it after supper... :-S



Gamma...I already told you, it just needs new batteries.


----------



## Delta-T

<---triples up on tinfoil


----------



## GAMMA RAY

That's another gripe I gots with the Hearth house....there is never any battrees in the joint.....WTF?
and toilet paper...I am tired of replacing the roll everytime I go in there...

I bought a whole bunch of battrees at Sams club and they are all gone....
Who is using them dammit? 

Betcha it is Delta...he does play with a lot of weird toys....robots and stuff.... >:-( 

We gots another week in the Hearth house and I may need to leave early....my nerves are shot....
You buggerz are not easy to live with..


----------



## Delta-T

they're not toys..they're my friends.  :cheese:


----------



## Thistle

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hogwildz said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> weeeee, wee wee wee!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Oh great - now I got that stupid insurance commercial running around in my head.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 
> You should have a parrot that mimics that commercial constantly.....
> Wee wee wee...........wee wee......wee! >:-(
Click to expand...


"STRAWBERRY!"  "STRAWBERRY!"     *BOOM!*   *feathers flying*


----------



## Fi-Q

Ok, where ever we are locates, if I need to change from a bootleger to a medecinal herbalist we need to get closer from the green leaf field of B.C.


----------



## katwillny

I could be the Dominican guy that no one understands and they have to put captions on everything I say.


----------



## Delta-T

KatWill said:
			
		

> I could be the Dominican guy that no one understands and they have to put captions on everything I say.



if you're gonna go that route, you should be in character...the above should be in jibberish, and then captioned in parethesis


----------



## firefighterjake

KatWill said:
			
		

> I could be the Dominican guy that no one understands and they have to put captions on everything I say.



Subsitute the word "Mainiac" for "Dominican" and change your on-line name here to Pook . . . that would work for sure.


----------



## Jack Straw

KatWill said:
			
		

> I could be the Dominican guy that no one understands and they have to put captions on everything I say.



Can you wear a dreadlock  wig?


----------



## Thistle

Did you see the Jamaican Bobsled team on TV last night? They were going so fast down that chute smoke was rolling out the back.

Not bad,mon.


----------



## cricketfarmer

HI guys! Have you still got any openings on the Hearth Show for a skinny, geeky guy like me? I know LOTS of super interesting facts about crickets and I like to start fires! Hey fellas, why are you looking at me like that? OK, now don't come any closer! I know karate! Well, I know a guy that knows karate, SO WATCH OUT! Aw, c'mon guys (backing away) you're not gonna stuff me in a locker again, are ya?


----------



## GAMMA RAY

cricketfarmer said:
			
		

> HI guys! Have you still got any openings on the Hearth Show for a skinny, geeky guy like me?




Hmmm...skinny and geeky? That was supposed to be Delta...but 
OK your in....
and bring some of them there crickets...I have a sleep machine that plays cricket sounds, but it is hard to hear above Jake's snoring so maybes the real thing will be better....


----------



## Jags

cricketfarmer said:
			
		

> HI guys! Have you still got any openings on the Hearth Show for a skinny, geeky guy like me? I know LOTS of super interesting facts about crickets and I like to start fires! Hey fellas, why are you looking at me like that? OK, now don't come any closer! I know karate! Well, I know a guy that knows karate, SO WATCH OUT! Aw, c'mon guys (backing away) you're not gonna stuff me in a locker again, are ya?



Hey, anybody that owns an old Minni steam engine is all right with me.  I got your back.

(grew up driving Case steam for shows- even a 110hp model.  If you have interest, read here, George Hedtke was my distant cousin)
http://steamtraction.farmcollector....endary-150-hp-case-steam-traction-engine.aspx


----------



## Adios Pantalones

The setup WAS desperately missing a cricket wrangler.

I mean- where would we get our crickets otherwise?


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Adios Pantalones said:
			
		

> The setup WAS desperately missing a cricket wrangler.
> 
> I mean- where would we get our crickets otherwise?




EXACTLY AP....WTF were we thinking? 
We need a real "cowboy" now....and not one that works in an office during the day and wears Armani suits and then dresses like a cowboy at night... 
We need the real mcCoy....maybes BB will give up his slut status and be the cowboy...he is from Texas...


----------



## cricketfarmer

Jags, if you come to the Will County Threshermans show this July, I'll let you play on my big woodburner with me.


----------



## Jags

cricketfarmer said:
			
		

> Jags, if you come to the Will County Threshermans show this July, I'll let you play on my big woodburner with me.



That would be cool beans, but alas, it is a bygone era of my life.  I did it more to help.  It was never really in "my blood".  But cool as hell.


----------



## Delta-T

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> cricketfarmer said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> HI guys! Have you still got any openings on the Hearth Show for a skinny, geeky guy like me?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hmmm...skinny and geeky? That was supposed to be Delta...but
> OK your in....
> and bring some of them there crickets...I have a sleep machine that plays cricket sounds, but it is hard to hear above Jake's snoring so maybes the real thing will be better....
Click to expand...


I aint skinny dammit! I'm lean.....really lean...and small boned. I can't beleive I was just brushed aside like that. Now I'm like...bitter, and angry. Lets just say there's gonna be some heck to pay....there's gonna be more than French in the French Onion Soup! if you know what I mean (I'll let you know, when I know what I mean).


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Oh oh... guess I am on the chit list now Del....please accept my apologies.....Bad Gamma Bad..... :-S 
Out with the cricket guy then....


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Out with the cricket guy then....



No no no...this is setting up to be the perfect battle.  Cricket wrangler - how do you feel about orange jello and kiddy pools? (I already know Delta's feelings on this)

ps - NO MANKINIS.


----------



## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Out with the cricket guy then....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> No no no...this is setting up to be the perfect battle.  Cricket wrangler - how do you feel about orange jello and kiddy pools? (I already know Delta's feelings on this)
> 
> ps - NO MANKINIS.
Click to expand...


No mankinis?....then it will have to be speedos......(I think equally repulsive)....
but may be an interesting event.... :cheese:
BTW....Delta is allergic to anything orange...it will have to be cherry jello....


----------



## Jack Straw

A Jello "Thunderdome"......2 men enter 1 man leaves. :lol:


----------



## Delta-T

I'm likin the sound of this one...It's On! Let me do my stretches first. I dont wanna pull a hammy. For Battle Theme Music I request "Too Hot to Trot" by the Commodores (you know, Lionel Ritchie was in the Commodres)


----------



## kenny chaos

I like crickets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD3hhWlZX0Q&feature=related


----------



## Jags

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> No mankinis?....then it will have to be speedos......(I think equally repulsive)....



I was thinking more in line with fully insulated coveralls.


----------



## Delta-T

and dont none of you busters go yelling "WASABI" (jags) in the middle of the combat to distract me. That would be unsportsman like....and sneaky/dirty. If we're gonna have a kiddie pool jello thunderdome, it should be fair and whatnot. Just so we're clear...is there biting allowed?


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## Jags

*HORSE RADISH*

Dang - no matter how loud I yell that it still does not invoke the same fear response.


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## BrotherBart

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> maybes BB will give up his slut status and be the cowboy...he is from Texas...



Been busy all day calling all of the media outlets. Apologizing for calling myself a slut.


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## Jags

BrotherBart said:
			
		

> GAMMA RAY said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> maybes BB will give up his slut status and be the cowboy...he is from Texas...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Been busy all day calling all of the media outlets. Apologizing for calling myself a slut.
Click to expand...


It puts a whole new spin to "gubment cheese".


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## cricketfarmer

WOW! What a tough tryout for a reality show! Let me see if I have this right. Kiddy pool, orange jello, horse radish but no wasabi, bib overalls are acceptable but no mankinis (thank goodness!),commodores singing in the background, fight to the death all to get a spot on the show as the skinny (lean) cowboy/wrangler dude. Brother Bart, would you care to trade roles? Slut sounds like more fun.


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## Delta-T

to the death? WHOA there. I didn't know that. Thats seems a bit....extreme, you know? I like me some jello wrastlin and all, but I was thinking more like a points scoring system...No hitting in the face of course. You think the Lean Cowboy tryout is hard...you should see the video BB submitted for his part...WOWZER! By back hurts just from watching.


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## Jags

Delta-T said:
			
		

> By back hurts just from watching.



I know.  Who would have thought he could Limbo that low???


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## Delta-T

Jags said:
			
		

> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> By back hurts just from watching.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I know.  Who would have thought he could Limbo that low???
Click to expand...


and in such a short skirt....amazing.


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## Jags

Delta-T said:
			
		

> Jags said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> By back hurts just from watching.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I know.  Who would have thought he could Limbo that low???
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> and in such a short skirt....amazing.
Click to expand...


Kilt, Delta.  Kilt.


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## cricketfarmer

I'm having second thoughts about auditioning for the roll of slut. My back certainly won't bend that far, I don't own a kilt, and I was told BB did it while going commando. Delta, it looks like its you and me, mano a mano, in the kiddy pool out behind the wood shed at dusk. I propose a gentlemanly battle. No fight to the death. No hitting each other with folding chairs. No choke holds. No throwing each other out of the pool into the audience. In fact I think if one of us can maintain a hold on his athleticaly slender, lightning fast, devastatingly handsome opponent (I may have been describing myself more than Delta) for more than 5 seconds, he shall be declared the winner. Are you up for it?


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## Delta-T

deal. Anyone seen the vaseline?


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## Jags

Delta-T said:
			
		

> deal. Anyone seen the vaseline?



Ask either BroB or Gamma.


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## firefighterjake

Probably this will just be a fake . . . I mean scripted . . . jello wrestling match to the death. Is Bob Mould working with us on the script yet?


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## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:
			
		

> Delta-T said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> deal. Anyone seen the vaseline?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ask either BroB or Gamma.
Click to expand...



I've got it and ain't sharing it....you guys know I don't share well..
I am sure someone in the joint has some type of lubrication material. :-S


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## firefighterjake

I've been using almond oil at work . . . seems to work pretty well. Anyone want to borrow some?


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## Jack Straw

Hearth.com the reality show will back right after this commercial


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## cricketfarmer

firefighterjake said:
			
		

> Probably this will just be a fake . . . I mean scripted . . . jello wrestling match to the death. Is Bob Mould working with us on the script yet?


Of course this fight will be scripted. After all, this IS a reality show!


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## Lousyweather

GAMMA RAY said:


> I've got it and ain't sharing it....you guys know I don't share well..
> I am sure someone in the joint has some type of lubrication material. :-S


 
pellet gel?


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## stoveguy2esw

Jack Straw said:


> Hearth.com the reality show will back right after this commercial




i'd have had another dog in the car had i directed this. it was a commercial for a stain remover for car seats right?


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## stoveguy2esw

Lousyweather said:


> pellet gel?


 
thats HOT!!


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## Jack Straw

The ratings are getting very low so we need the following:

someone with a strange addiction
a hoarder (no pellets)
a pawn store
a tow truck to repo cars
some pickers
loggers who fight more than they cut wood
It seems that this would be the perfect combination for a really successful show!


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## Flatbedford

Most of us, except the pellet people, have a wood addiction, _and_ are hoarders.

I want to drive the tow truck.


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## stoveguy2esw

Jags said:


> *HORSE RADISH*
> 
> Dang - no matter how loud I yell that it still does not invoke the same fear response.


 
if you dont find this one funny, check your pulse  OMG  gotta rememeber that one


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## firefighterjake

Jack Straw said:


> The ratings are getting very low so we need the following:
> 
> someone with a strange addiction
> a hoarder (no pellets)
> a pawn store
> a tow truck to repo cars
> some pickers
> loggers who fight more than they cut wood
> It seems that this would be the perfect combination for a really successful show!


 

I like to look for ammo cans in the woods . . . and like working with my wood . . . is that a strange enough addiction.

I hoard wood . . . and would hoard cats if my wife would let me.

We can open up a porn store.

No tow trucks, but I can bring a fire engine to the show.

I pick my nose occasionally . . . does that count?

I don't fight with my buddies when we're cutting wood, but we do mess up a lot . . . that would add some drama.


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## Jags

I want to run the porn store.


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## GAMMA RAY

Jags said:


> I want to run the porn store.


 
OK we can have a porn store only if it is "tasteful"....
I will be the CEO....only the good stuff....I will have to experiment and test all submissions for the store...just to make sure..you know...
Jagsy, you are in charge...


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## Jags

Hmmm...tv show lacking activity.....


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## GAMMA RAY

Hmm...well I did not want to complain butt...
Somebody in the house is using my loofah sponge...and don't ask how I know.
Somebody ate half a package of my 2% Polly O string cheese mozzerella sticks...
and the most important...
Somebody is drinkin my Dogfish Head Raison beer...
Now it is time for war dammit. 

I have cameras set up so I will find out who the guilty partay is...


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## GAMMA RAY

and I am missing 5 pairs of underwear and 3 bras...
Cough em up....


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## Jack Straw

GAMMA RAY said:


> and I am missing 5 pairs of underwear and 3 bras...
> Cough em up....


 
Gamma...I'll give back your wedding video, if you promise to forget about your missing undergarments.


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## GAMMA RAY

Jack Straw said:


> Gamma...I'll give back your wedding video, if you promise to forget about your missing undergarments.


 
HA! I know who the guily partay is and you don't have to cover for him Jack....he has been recently "absent" because of this..I won't mention any names....(DT).
I don't really care about the wedding video being lost....but I won't tell Mr Gamma...gonna use it against him to get what I want for the next 6 months at least....maybes 8 months if I can milk it....


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## Jack Straw

Another 5 lbs and I'll be a C cup


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## Dix

Jack Straw said:


> Another 5 lbs and I'll be a C cup


 

Yep peeps read the sigs  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I dunno, you guys are outta control... I'm still hanging in the barn, with the leather, and the crops, and such.

Tssk, tssk.


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## Jack Straw

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:


> Yep peeps read the sigs
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I dunno, you guys are outta control... I'm still hanging in the barn, with the leather, and the crops, and such.
> 
> Tssk, tssk.


 
I read them also, I was just wondering if anyone else did.

Out of control=Ratings!


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## firefighterjake

Anyone have any tips on how to get rid of these calluses on my feet . . . apparently loofah sponges don't work very well.


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## Flatbedford

firefighterjake said:


> Anyone have any tips on how to get rid of these calluses on my feet . . . apparently loofah sponges don't work very well.


 
I've good results with some discarded bras that I found out behind the wood pile. The underwear didn't help much.


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## Lousyweather

Flatbedford said:


> I've good results with some discarded bras that I found out behind the wood pile. The underwear didn't help much.


 
yea, I didnt really get why Delta T was trying more than one on at a time or anything, and can only come to the conclusion that he couldnt come up with a constructive use of those undergarments either....he was muttering something about "thse things need washed..." or somesuch.......as for the loofa, well, some things are better left unsaid.


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## GAMMA RAY

Flatbedford said:


> I've good results with some discarded bras that I found out behind the wood pile. The underwear didn't help much.


 
Those bras were expensive 
Just sayin...
You git what you pay for...


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## Lousyweather

GAMMA RAY said:


> Those bras were expensive
> Just sayin...
> You git what you pay for...


 
they did look a bit small for him, matter of fact.....


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