# Can A Man Tell Another Man His Stack Of Wood Looks Like $%^#?



## Cross Cut Saw (Jun 14, 2012)

Do I tell my neighbor, whom I barely know, that he has stacked his wood like crap and it will never dry or do I let him, his wife, and their 3 young kids suffer through another season not being able to light fires because their wood is never going to dry the way he has it stacked?

My wife and kids were hanging out in their yard when I got home from work yesterday and it was the first time I'd seen his wood stack up close and it's bad, really bad.

I asked his wife if they were having trouble burning the wood this spring and she said she could barely get it to light, which didn't surprise me at all...

I did offer to grab them some pallets to put it on since it's sitting on the ground, but geez, it's painful to look at!


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## bogydave (Jun 14, 2012)

Never start out negative.
Nice wood. what type is it? type conversation.
Then lead into how & why to stack wood so it dries well enough to burn & not have creosote build up in the chimney.
I've never seen a stack that looks that bad, all stacks look good to me, some just allot better than others, like PapaDave, Zap & Backwoodsavage


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## MasterMech (Jun 15, 2012)

How do you stack so poorly that the wood won't dry?  Even stacking on the ground I'd think that only the bottom layer or two would be wet.


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## quads (Jun 15, 2012)

MasterMech said:


> How do you stack so poorly that the wood won't dry? Even stacking on the ground I'd think that only the bottom layer or two would be wet.


That's right!


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## Cross Cut Saw (Jun 15, 2012)

MasterMech said:


> How do you stack so poorly that the wood won't dry? Even stacking on the ground I'd think that only the bottom layer or two would be wet.


 
Well that's the thing, it's not very high but it it rather wide and long, it's on his lawn and when I said "never dry" I should have said "never dry in time" since they plan on burning this wood in the fall/winter.


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## TimJ (Jun 15, 2012)

Tell him how much you've been learning about wood and burning it on this cool website you found


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## firefighterjake (Jun 15, 2012)

My wood stacks are never very pretty . . . but they get the job done . . . and personally . . . I make it a rule to never talk about another man's wood.


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## firebroad (Jun 15, 2012)

The best way to "help" someone stack his wood better is by example.  Trust me, I have learned better techniques by observation than by someone criticizing my methods.


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## Jack Straw (Jun 15, 2012)

I think it would be tough w/o pissing him off, unless he's very enlightened (which I am not!). Keep 911 on speed dial, keep an eye on their place and pray to whatever deity you believe in or not. Hack into his computer and have this site come up whenever he searches for porn, that's how I got here!


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## TimJ (Jun 15, 2012)

Firebroad, he must have typed in wood


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## firebroad (Jun 15, 2012)

Now I am confused.  Are you guys talking boy stuff again?


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## Wood Duck (Jun 15, 2012)

Firebroad - I think most of us are talking firewood, but not all of us.

I'd just try to tell him, or better yet show him how I stack my wood and why it dries better when stacked off the ground. I'd mention how the wood that is really dry lights and burns better than the stuff near the ground, etc. He has got to connect the dots himself. Maybe he doesn't realize that contact with the ground is keeping the wood from seasoning properly, or maybe he knows but doesn't care. Nothing you can do about him not caring, but you can help with him not knowing.


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## Delta-T (Jun 15, 2012)

just restack it in the middle of the night. next morning act surprised and say something to the effect of "Holy potato salad, the wood gnomes have struck again! Lucky duck".


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## weatherguy (Jun 15, 2012)

I was going to say stop looking at another mans wood and mind your business but theres women and children involved so that changes things, I would do what someone upthread mentioned and ease into the conversation, that way you can at least tell him without coming across an a know it all ahole (maybe), then its up to him whether he follows your advice.


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## Flatbedford (Jun 15, 2012)

firefighterjake said:


> I make it a rule to never talk about another man's wood.


 
That may be your rule, but you break it all the time here.


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## Woody Stover (Jun 15, 2012)

Wood Duck said:


> I'd just try to tell him, or better yet show him how I stack my wood and why it dries better when stacked off the ground. I'd mention how the wood that is really dry lights and burns better than the stuff near the ground, etc.


And if he has Oak in there, don't forget to tell him that he is screwed no matter what. 


Jack Straw said:


> pray to whatever deity you believe in or not





Delta-T said:


> say something to the effect of "Holy potato salad...


I had no idea that potato salad was considered a deity by some...


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## Jags (Jun 15, 2012)

Ahhhh...if ya told me my stacks looked like chit I'd probably crack ya upside the head with a split.


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## firebroad (Jun 15, 2012)

This is a picture from a website selling wood rack frames.  Okay, so he used 2x4's, but what else is wrong with this picture?


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## Jack Straw (Jun 15, 2012)

firebroad said:


> This is a picture from a website selling wood rack frames. Okay, so he used 2x4's, but what else is wrong with this picture?


 
1)There are no hot women in it.
2) They have outdoor furniture from walmart
3) No railing on the steps....that's a code violation
4) The picture's main theme is simplistic with no emotion.
5) Did I mention the hot women?


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## ScotO (Jun 15, 2012)

Techinally, you really shouldn't be lookin' at another man's wood, and for that matter, he shouldn't have it out where you can see it to begin with. That's my honest opinion. !! Now as far as the firewood is concerned, bring it up in casual conversation. Tell him how you used to stack it the same way (even if you didn't) and then you came across Hearth.com and your whole life changed for the better. Find a pair of hot chicks, put an arm around each one of them during your conversation with him. That should make it stick......


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## lukem (Jun 15, 2012)

Toss him a few splits from your stash.  If he likes how they burn, then teach him how to make his own.


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## MasterMech (Jun 15, 2012)

Scotty Overkill said:


> Techinally, you really shouldn't be lookin' at another man's wood, and for that matter, he shouldn't have it out where you can see it to begin with. That's my honest opinion. !! Now as far as the firewood is concerned, bring it up in casual conversation. Tell him how you used to stack it the same way (even if you didn't) and then you came across Hearth.com and your whole life changed for the better. Find a pair of hot chicks, put an arm around each one of them during your conversation with him. That should make it stick......


"I don't always stack wood, but when I do, I prefer my ends cribbed"


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## BrotherBart (Jun 15, 2012)

You don't speak negatively about a person's spouse, cars or wood stacks. Just sayin...

They are living with mistakes for their decisions every day.


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## Dix (Jun 15, 2012)

Jack Straw said:


> 1)There are no hot women in it.
> 2) They have outdoor furniture from walmart
> 3) No railing on the steps....that's a code violation
> 4) The picture's main theme is simplistic with no emotion.
> 5) Did I mention the hot women?


 
That'll get ya a split up side the head


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## Gark (Jun 15, 2012)

It be OK to tell another that their wood stacks are disfunctional (it won't dry that way), but not that they are ugly (look misaligned). Best to be tactful, though.


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## Jack Straw (Jun 15, 2012)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:


> That'll get ya a split up side the head




As long as I can keep the split(no smiley available on my Blackberry)


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## Dix (Jun 15, 2012)

Nope, you'll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands


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## Lousyweather (Jun 16, 2012)

telling a man how bad his wood pile is is like telling him how ugly his wife is....generally a very bad idea.......if ya cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all......


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## GAMMA RAY (Jun 16, 2012)

That is like a woman telling another woman her new boyfriend is fugly..
or telling her that the designer shoes she just got that she has been saving for 2 months to buy suck.....and you could have gotten them for half the price at TJ Maxx...
major faux pas...


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## btuser (Jun 16, 2012)

Pretty wood piles would only matter to me if it magically increased the BTU output.

As long as she puts out the heat, she's welcome at my house.


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## nate379 (Jun 16, 2012)

My renter helped my cord some wood last week and I guess stacking wood isn't something he can figure out.  I don't play Tetris with every piece that I stack, throw it in a stack and get it done to a degree, but he had a ~3ft tall 4ft long stack going and it was about ready to fall over already.


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## btuser (Jun 16, 2012)

GAMMA RAY said:


> That is like a woman telling another woman her new boyfriend is fugly..
> or telling her that the designer shoes she just got that she has been saving for 2 months to buy suck.....and you could have gotten them for half the price at TJ Maxx...
> major faux pas...


Trashin' the bogos.


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## GAMMA RAY (Jun 16, 2012)

btuser said:


> Trashin' the bogos.


 
No friggin way...I never pay full price for anything...
I buy everything on sale and at thrift stores or consignment shops....
I don't care what is "in style"...I make my own style...I am a non-conformist dammit...
	

		
			
		

		
	



I would never trash the bogos!


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## GAMMA RAY (Jun 16, 2012)

Sorry...Back to topic burners....


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## BrotherBart (Jun 16, 2012)

Wood stacking can be handy. When I got transferred the company bought my house. Three companies appraised it and when the anonymous appraisals were given to me I protested the low one and named the firm that placed each appraisal. I would receive the average of the three. The company HR guy said that I couldn't know which company submitted what. I pointed out that in the pics taken by each company the wood in the rack on the patio was stacked differently for each company's pic.  I got the low one thrown out.


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## btuser (Jun 16, 2012)

GAMMA RAY said:


> I would never trash the bogos!


 
Oh, I think you would. I bet you can sniff out a fake Prada bag from the other side of the party.

I'm a big bargain-sniffer. I draw the line at used footwear, however. Maybe a girl could get away with swapping out some open-toe pumps but guys wear shoes till they ain't shoes no more. I've got boots older than my daughter.


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## Dix (Jun 16, 2012)

What's a bogo????

I have jeans older than my daughter, and they are right back in style, all ripped up & stuff


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## DexterDay (Jun 16, 2012)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:


> What's a bogo????



Buy One Get One (Free).


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## fossil (Jun 16, 2012)

This seems like a good deal...


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## btuser (Jun 16, 2012)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:


> What's a bogo????
> 
> I have jeans older than my daughter, and they are right back in style, all ripped up & stuff


 
She's a maniac, maniac for sure!
And she's dancing like she never did before!


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## Dix (Jun 16, 2012)

We wont talk about icey water splashes, just saying


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## Dix (Jun 16, 2012)

I shop for bog2


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## BrotherBart (Jun 16, 2012)

Being the grocery shopper in this joint I love that the bogos to get you in the store are the crap stuff we would pay full price for anyway. Messes up their plan.

Wife is a Coke-aholic. Gonna have to buy those two liters sometime. Store put them on for bogo and I go in and buy fifty. Checker is amazed.

Next ad is limit four.


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## ScotO (Jun 17, 2012)

GAMMA RAY said:


> No friggin way...I never pay full price for anything...
> I buy everything on sale and at thrift stores or consignment shops....
> I don't care what is "in style"...I make my own style...I am a non-conformist dammit...
> 
> ...


 you crack me up.  The 'moon' emoticon pushed it over the top......love it!


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## btuser (Jun 17, 2012)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:


> We wont talk about icey water splashes, just saying


I've been holding on to my Barracuda jacket for a while now.  Don't think it's coming back.

I must confess.  I do covet my neighbor's wood pile.


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## begreen (Jun 17, 2012)

I would definitely not tell my neighbor that I don't like the look of his wood.  Since most people stack wood better than I do, I think I would just stay quiet.


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## Thistle (Jun 17, 2012)

'Hey I'm proud of mine too but I dont go waving it around at parties though!'

- Rodney Dangerfield in Back To School


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## btuser (Jun 17, 2012)

Thistle said:


> 'Hey I'm proud of mine too but I dont go waving it around at parties though!'
> 
> - Rodney Dangerfield in Back To School


 
"What's your favorite subject?" -Thortnon Melon
"Poetry."   -Bubbles
"Really?  Well, maybe you could help me straighten out my Longfellow.".      Oh how we miss you Rodney.


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## Dix (Jun 17, 2012)

"She gives could headache".


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## bogydave (Jun 17, 2012)

firebroad said:


> Now I am confused. Are you guys talking boy stuff again?


 
 No they are talking about my stacks of wood, uncovered , in the rain, & how it will never be dry


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## firebroad (Jun 18, 2012)

BrotherBart said:


> You don't speak negatively about a person's spouse, cars or wood stacks. Just sayin...
> 
> They are living with mistakes for their decisions every day.


I couldn't agree more.


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## firebroad (Jun 18, 2012)

Scotty Overkill said:


> Techinally, you really shouldn't be lookin' at another man's wood, and for that matter, he shouldn't have it out where you can see it to begin with. That's my honest opinion. !! Now as far as the firewood is concerned, bring it up in casual conversation. Tell him how you used to stack it the same way (even if you didn't) and then you came across Hearth.com and your whole life changed for the better. Find a pair of hot chicks, put an arm around each one of them during your conversation with him. That should make it stick......


 
Here is a photo of some Hot Chicks:


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## firefighterjake (Jun 18, 2012)

Flatbedford said:


> That may be your rule, but you break it all the time here.


 
True . . . by the way . . . nice wood in the back of your truck in your avatar's pic  . . . and by "wood" and "truck" I really mean "wood" and "truck."


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## firefighterjake (Jun 18, 2012)

Woody Stover said:


> And if he has Oak in there, don't forget to tell him that he is screwed no matter what.
> 
> I had no idea that potato salad was considered a deity by some...


 
I believe it is an off-shoot from the Pastafarians.


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## btuser (Jun 18, 2012)

firefighterjake said:


> I believe it is an off-shoot from the Pastafarians.


 
Ah yes, the great debate.  Maybe this is why you're not allowed to have two starch on the same plate.  I always thought it was a simple culinary faux pas, but apparently it's something much more meaningful.


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## btuser (Jun 18, 2012)

Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:


> "She gives could headache".


I think you mean good helmet




Which of course, brings us to Barf




And back to Uncle Buck:

"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat naw that thing of your face!" You are sorely missed Johny Boy.


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## Thistle (Jun 19, 2012)

Woody Stover said:


> And if he has Oak in there, don't forget to tell him that he is screwed no matter what.
> 
> I had no idea that potato salad was considered a deity by some...


 
You've obviously never had my German Potato Salad.


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## firebroad (Jun 19, 2012)

Of COURSE Potato is a Deity.  I'm Irish, so that settles it.


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