# Wood thieves????



## GAMMA RAY (Mar 3, 2011)

Our wood is disappearing...we are not burnin all of it...I know that for a fact...I think someone is stealin it...Did anyone have that happen and how do you approach the situation???? Very concerned....This is a very serious issue...DON'T MESS WITH MY WOOD STASH!


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## jimbom (Mar 3, 2011)

Borrow a game camera.  Deer season is over, maybe someone will help you out.


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 3, 2011)

don't know what a game camera is...not a hunter...please elaborate.....


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## bogydave (Mar 3, 2011)

At night?
How about a motion detector light ?
Video camera?
Fence?
Alarm (trip wire, motion, battery powered)?
Footprints in the snow?
Tire tracks?

For our remote cabins here, we use bear boards to keep bears out. Keeps many critters out.


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 3, 2011)

It's like Fort Knox here.....husband has so many motion detector lights up you would have to be stupid to do it at night...(we locked outselves out one nite and tried to break in and could not it is so tight) then hid a key somewhere, duh? shoulda woulda a long time ago? Think its during the time the husband leaves and I come home...think its the neighbors...I thought I saw some footprints to the wood pile but blew it off...thought it was the husband but now I am wondering and gettin ticked off thinkin about it....I am thinkin a boobie trap....no hecklers please, this is a serious matter. When it's your wood...it's yours!


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## jimbom (Mar 3, 2011)

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> don't know what a game camera is...not a hunter...please elaborate.....



http://shop.ebay.com/?_from=R40&_trksid=p5197.m570.l1311&_nkw=game+camera&_sacat=See-All-Categories

You set them up and they take pictures when something triggers the sensor.  You can download the pictures.  If your neighbors are having a hard time right now, there might be a group or program in your town that would drop off a load of firewood to help them out.  Here, the American Legion for example, does that for older vets or their widows.


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 3, 2011)

Thanks, JimboM, will give her a looker see......over and out...


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## CTYank (Mar 3, 2011)

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Thanks, JimboM, will give her a looker see......over and out...



Actually, no such phrase exists in radio telephony as "over and out." "Over" awaits further response; "out" means end of conversation. True, Broderick Crawford used to say that on his fifties cop show, but you don't have to date yourself to there. You could say "roger, wilco."

One old yankee trick to spot wood thieves was to bore a hole in the end of a piece some inches deep, fill it most of the way with black powder, and close the hole with a plug of same wood. (Use a plug cutter.) Then if you see a sudden puff of smoke, well .....  Once generally did the trick.

Of course, you don't want to put such a piece in your own stove.

Not suggesting you'd do that, but it can be gentler on the perp than a bear trap.

Totally aside, have you seen any of the YouTube videos of black powder wood-splitting? Pure Darwin's List stuff.


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## bogydave (Mar 4, 2011)

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> I..think its the neighbors...I thought I saw some footprints to the wood pile but blew it off...thought it was the husband but now I am wondering and gettin ticked off thinkin about it....!



I'd go knock on the door & ask.
If no, ask them to help watch out for wood thieves with you.
Let them know your thinking of calling the cops & hidden video surveillance cameras.
Be nice about it, you aren't sure who it is   "YET"!!


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## loon (Mar 4, 2011)

less than a $100 Gamma...






Homedepot..

loon


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 4, 2011)

think you lost me there CTyank,,,,,,ok....roger, wilco.........................................................................................................................................(That means folks....I'm out for the nite) :roll:


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## Loco Gringo (Mar 4, 2011)

Strip an extension cord, wet the ground,throw it over the pile and plug it in. Youll hear em screamin.


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## Thistle (Mar 4, 2011)

What I think of thieves  -

I keep one large stack about 6 ft tall & 13ft long at NE corner of property line,against my north fence with one neighbor & my east fence with another neighbor.The south end of stack butts up against a big walnut tree.In Aug 2009,a Saturday morning I was in back looking  for some lumber underneath a tarp on an extra picnic table,near that stack.I noticed a big space missing along the north end,about 3 ft square infact.I had a good idea where it went,which I'll explain further.
My then neighbors on the east - a younger couple had only lived there a few months - she worked for the DNR in some capacity - he did nothing that I could see,since he was always home when I got home from work in late afternoon.And in summer he would sit in the backyard until 3-4 AM around this chimnea outside burner,burning wood & drinking beer all night.After noticing that huge hole in my woodpile,I started to smell smoldering wood from over the fence - looked over & lo & behold,there was some of MY wood still sticking up in that firepit. My parents happened to be visiting at the time,they were in my house at the time.I was furious,I immediately jumped fence to the north,then back over it in their backyard.I run up to their porch,practically ripped the screen door off the hinges,pounded on the door & started screaming "GET OUT HERE YOU F-ING THIEF OR I'll DRAG YOUR ASS OUT" Turns out others heard me 2 blocks over,I was ballistic.Meanwhile my parents heard the commotion & went out back to see what was going on. I said "Here's my phone,call the cops NOW!"

The woman came to the door,she had no idea what was happening so I explained calmly & pointed to their firepit.She said 'he's inside asleep' (This was almost 10AM) I said "Tell him to come out,I want to talk about something..." He finally showed up,he could barely stand & you could tell he was higher than Charlie Sheen lol.I kept telling him what happened,he said 'uhmmm it was our roommate,he's been staying here for a couple weeks,he sits outside all night blah blah..."  I replied "I dont care who it is,they're a goddamn thief!!" She was literally begging "pleease dont call the cops..we'll do anything,replace the wood,we have our own wood why would we steal from you blah blah..."  I showed him the firepit with my pieces of Honey Locust still smoldering in it.Soon 2 cops showed up & 1 said "Is this where I can get free firewood? ;-) "  I told the cop, "If you look at that burning piece,I can prove its mine because it was ripped with my saw,I can match the kerf marks from my saw teeth." The cop said "please calm down,we're here to sort this out,if possible..."

Long story short - they took all our names,I agreed not to file any formal complaint but I had 1 yr to follow up on this if any future incidents occured.Immediately after the cops left,the couple went back inside their house,opened ALL the windows & outside doors,put several fans in them to 'air them out' for whatever reason..... :roll: 

I think they got my message  ;-P I hadnt seen either one for several months outside once Spring arrived. My neighbor to the north told me last July,"Oh,they moved away in June,she apparantly got a job with the DNR in Washington State & took the deadbeat boyfriend with her..."


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## yooperdave (Mar 4, 2011)

maybe they also have a side job...testing and rating the potency of "medical mary jane"

in reference to the story above


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## midwestcoast (Mar 4, 2011)

I'll throw it out there that any kind of booby-trap is most likely to catch yourself or a family member.  This is coming from a guy who's dad once booby-trapped our 3-wheeler with a trigger to fire a double-powder 12-guage shell with shot removed inside a 6x8 cinderblock room in our basement. I was terrified I'd forget to disarm it & have my eardrums blown out.
I'd first try posting a sign on the pile just telling them to stop. No threats. If it doesn't work your not out any money, your kid isn't electrocuted & you're not on trial.  Theives are generally cowards, just knowing you know might be enough to stop it.  If not, well, plenty of ideas for Plan B.


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## loon (Mar 4, 2011)

[quote author="Thistle" date="1299217289"]What I think of thieves  -
quote]

would of took me a week to type that Thistle  ;-)  ...thieves are not welcome around my place loon


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## leaddog (Mar 4, 2011)

"But It doesn't belong to anybody cause it's been setting there in that pile for over a year. I was just doing you a favor by moving it" Besides it's just wood. Don't get in such a huff"

Now if it was a full can of gas that would be steeling
leaddog


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## WhitePine (Mar 4, 2011)

+1 for the game camera.


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## yooperdave (Mar 4, 2011)

do you think that maybe "poopsy" (your sweetie) is moving it??? maybe getting the firepit ready for a weekend surprise??
something similar happened years ago..99 lbs has a tool shed (no lock) that we keep outdoor stuff in-tools, lawn furniture, grills, decorations (christmas), etc. you get the idea. i had found a real good deal on charcoal lighter $1.50 for a quart so i bought about 8 of em. her son would get a truck load of buddies and go into the woods out south to have bonfires. i didn't discover all the charcoal fluid missing until the following spring, when grilling season started! just didn't know it was him, right away.


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## 3fordasho (Mar 4, 2011)

Sounds a lot like my worthless pot smoken neighbors- only they have not had the decency to move away.
I responded to their wood theiving ways by putting up a security light, an 80' long x 6' high fence, security cameras and a few choice words to not touch my firewood.  The firewood has been safe for a year now and there is no longer the need to speak to these freeloaders or even acknowledge they exist. 





			
				Thistle said:
			
		

> What I think of thieves  -
> 
> I keep one large stack about 6 ft tall & 13ft long at NE corner of property line,against my north fence with one neighbor & my east fence with another neighbor.The south end of stack butts up against a big walnut tree.In Aug 2009,a Saturday morning I was in back looking  for some lumber underneath a tarp on an extra picnic table,near that stack.I noticed a big space missing along the north end,about 3 ft square infact.I had a good idea where it went,which I'll explain further.
> My then neighbors on the east - a younger couple had only lived there a few months - she worked for the DNR in some capacity - he did nothing that I could see,since he was always home when I got home from work in late afternoon.And in summer he would sit in the backyard until 3-4 AM around this chimnea outside burner,burning wood & drinking beer all night.After noticing that huge hole in my woodpile,I started to smell smoldering wood from over the fence - looked over & lo & behold,there was some of MY wood still sticking up in that firepit. My parents happened to be visiting at the time,they were in my house at the time.I was furious,I immediately jumped fence to the north,then back over it in their backyard.I run up to their porch,practically ripped the screen door off the hinges,pounded on the door & started screaming "GET OUT HERE YOU F-ING THIEF OR I'll DRAG YOUR ASS OUT" Turns out others heard me 2 blocks over,I was ballistic.Meanwhile my parents heard the commotion & went out back to see what was going on. I said "Here's my phone,call the cops NOW!"
> ...


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## MishMouse (Mar 4, 2011)

+1 Game Camera

Booby trapping may yield undesired results and a extended stay in orange pj's.


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## Backwoods Savage (Mar 4, 2011)

If I suspected the neighbors, I would probably first go right to the neighbor and state that someone has been stealing my firewood. His reaction would then perhaps dictate the next step. If he didn't say anything or act differently, I'd then ask for his help in catching the thief. I would also inform him that from time to time I would be sitting nearby with a shotgun just watching that pile of wood. 

I also would definitely set up a game camera. Right now, Cabela has on for $60. Dick's quite often has the cheap cameras. I like the infrared as there is no flash at night to let them know their picture has been taken. You may have to make some adjustments if you don't get the face of the thief but that is okay.

btw, the game cameras can be used for many things! Use your imagination a bit. Hey, my wife even likes them by her bird feeders.


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## WhitePine (Mar 4, 2011)

Backwoods Savage said:
			
		

> btw, the game cameras can be used for many things! Use your imagination a bit. Hey, my wife even likes them by her bird feeders.



And if you have cats, you can set up a game camera inside to find out what the little darlings are up to when you are asleep.

Then again, you may not want to know.  :wow:  >:-(  :bug:


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## moosetrek (Mar 4, 2011)

Do a little target shooting from on the roof.  Wear all black.  Ask the neighbors to let you know if your sniper training disturbs them.

Seriously, though - do you have a dog that can roam the place?  I'm pretty sure with my three that no one would bother the woodpile.  The barking would drive them batty within minutes (though the wagging tails and face-licking might not be so intimidating).  Otherwise, the game camera and a cheap motion light should do fine.  I'd be hesitant to ask the neighbors if they did it, as someone mentioned say that you think someone's been grabbing some wood and you'd like them to let you know if they see anyone.


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## Dakotas Dad (Mar 4, 2011)

WhitePine said:
			
		

> Backwoods Savage said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You won't leave the butter uncovered aver again...

just sayin'


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## peterc38 (Mar 4, 2011)

"Thor" keeps a close eye on my firewood. Thor is a 185 .lb Great dane


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## Backwoods Savage (Mar 4, 2011)

Nice doggy Thor. Sit. Stay.


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## b33p3r (Mar 4, 2011)

Drill out the center of a piece and pour some black powder in it. Saw dust mixed with glue to close up the end again. don't forget which piece it is. Once it's stolen and used you'll know who the thief was.   I can neither confirm nor deny whether this approach has ever been used. The names were changed to protect the innocent.


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## yooperdave (Mar 4, 2011)

b33p3r said:
			
		

> Drill out the center of a piece and pour some black powder in it. Saw dust mixed with glue to close up the end again. don't forget which piece it is. Once it's stolen and used you'll know who the thief was.   I can neither confirm nor deny whether this approach has ever been used. The names were changed to protect the innocent.



that actually happened here!  blew the stove apart in the thieves house.  also, let everyone know who it was that was stealing....


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## loon (Mar 4, 2011)

Backwoods Savage said:
			
		

> Nice doggy Thor. Sit. Stay.



 :lol:  :lol: 

loon


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## Thistle (Mar 4, 2011)

Holy Crap. Either put a saddle on him or use him to skid logs & you're set.


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## MishMouse (Mar 4, 2011)

Putting gunpowder in the wood and blowing someones stove apart would be good for finding out who did it.
But, if you blew someones stove up and caused a fire which killed anyone in their house then you have to ask yourself could you live with the fact that it killed someone. Yes, they are stealing your sweat and blood work but is it worth their deaths?

Use a game camera or dog protection first.

That way you find out who is doing the stealing, if you find out it is someone who is in need then you can decide what you do from there.
If it is a neighbor then you can go the route of asking them to keep an eye on your wood pile and maybe indicate that you might booby trap a few pieces. If it is your neighbor maybe ask them next year to help you split and cut the wood then they can have some. 

Use your best judgement in all cases and don't let snap emotions control what you do. 

Oh, a better way to booby trap the wood is to fill it full of poop or pee, that way it won't kill them but they sure would think twice before using your wood again.  Also if it is a relation that is using your wood you get to have a good laugh instead of a cry.


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## yooperdave (Mar 4, 2011)

just for everyone's info- the gunpowder thing happened many years ago...before i was alive. i think its funny how everyone knows about it but no one has ever actually heard of it happening.  obviously, it was not a very large amount of charge...so they wouldn't have to live with the guilt of a death or a fire


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## MishMouse (Mar 4, 2011)

Actually the gunpowder as long as it is not tightly packed and air sealed shouldn't cause much damage.
But, I think sealing in poop or pee in the wood  would be a much better alternative especially if a relative or the person doing it forgets which pieces are modified.


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## burntime (Mar 4, 2011)

How about a bunch of animal or human hair?  That would go up quick and stink to high heaven!  Just brush the dog or cat, and save the hair from the haircut.  I bet you could really pack a bunch in there!  Just a thought.


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## BXTF (Mar 4, 2011)

Paint or mark the end of your splits black and see if they show up at a neighbors house.


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 5, 2011)

Game camera will be a start.....discussed it with the husband.....have a friend with one and I can borrow it so I don't even have to spend any $$$$$. The poop thing sounds enticing though...It would be my luck that I would grab one of those mothers and throw it in our stove  :shut: Or maybe I could borrow Thor, handsome dog, don't think I could handle him he is close to double my weight Thanks for all your replies guys.


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## b33p3r (Mar 6, 2011)

I never personally did the black powder thing. I can't even admit whether or not I know someone that did it.


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## richg (Mar 6, 2011)

Using a Fiskars splitter or maul, split a big piece in half. Hollow it out large enough for a container of Liquid Ass (yes, the stuff exists) and glue the pieces back together. When burned, it will produce a stench so foul that people will call for a hazmat emergency team. You will have your culprit.


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 6, 2011)

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:


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## Thistle (Mar 6, 2011)

richg said:
			
		

> Using a Fiskars splitter or maul, split a big piece in half. Hollow it out large enough for a container of Liquid Ass (yes, the stuff exists) and glue the pieces back together. When burned, it will produce a stench so foul that people will call for a hazmat emergency team. You will have your culprit.



Am I thinking of a brand name of super-concentrated hot sauce made from Habanero & Ghost chilies,or is it something else? :lol:


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## loon (Mar 6, 2011)

had to google it richg   


http://www.liquidass.com/index.html


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## Thistle (Mar 6, 2011)

LMFAO  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol: 

Guess its not hot sauce after all.Though I know a couple people that I wouldnt mind putting a drop or two in their food.....


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 6, 2011)

Me thinks I am getting some of that Liquid A#@ stuff and use it on one of the docs in the practice that gives me a hard time....If it works good I'll put it inside of the wood for the theives... :lol:


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## Backwoods Savage (Mar 6, 2011)

Maybe some limberger cheese would be good too


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## CountryBoy19 (Mar 7, 2011)

richg said:
			
		

> Using a Fiskars splitter or maul, split a big piece in half. Hollow it out large enough for a container of Liquid Ass (yes, the stuff exists) and glue the pieces back together. When burned, it will produce a stench so foul that people will call for a hazmat emergency team. You will have your culprit.



Yeah, except the smell goes right up the chimney, and just your luck you'll be straight down wind the day they burn that piece ... talk about a great plan backfiring... I wouldn't risk that...


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## Black Jaque Janaviac (Mar 7, 2011)

I don't think it would be wise to use anything lethal.  But I think the game camera would be the first part of some real fun you could have - because you could get pictures of their reaction!

How 'bout asking your hunting friends for some deer parts.  Bones, internal organs, anything that wouldn't be immediately distinguishable as "not human".  Then hide the body parts under the wood pile.  Perhaps with some swatches of clothing.  Take a kethup bottle and smack it with the splitting maul and leave maul or ax sticking in splitting block with ketchup splatter (remove all traces of bottle).  OK, maybe don't over-do it.

Oh, and please post pictures from game camera here.  I wanna see the expression on thieve's face when he/she lifts up a log to uncover a bone, or liver, or. . .   The best part would be if they actually reported it to the police!

Or....


You could tuck a ziploc baggie full of some white powder (baking soda?)  Or crushed bay leaves.  That might produce an interesting sequence of photos.


Or...

Use some heavy test fishing line to secure a log to a stake.  As they head away with an armload the line grows taught and log rips out of their arms.

Or...

Could you find a way to transplant a wasp nest to the area they are stealing from, but avoid it yourself?

Or...

If temperatures are not freezing rig a garden hose to be triggered by removing a log and spraying them.  

Or...

???? anyone else have some ideas????


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## Black Jaque Janaviac (Mar 7, 2011)

Ha!  I just thought of another thing, if you were really, really cruel. . . 

If you sucessfully pulled off the dead body parts thing, and the neighbor did NOT report it to the police, you could keep quiet about it for a few days, then stop by with a gift package of some homemade "venison sausage".


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## burntime (Mar 7, 2011)

Or mention the people down the street are looking for thier great dane.  You hear the are "good" animals and how your have had some, I mean one in the past...  I still think hair in the middle would be interesting.  It would go up quick and if they checked the fire...wow


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## Como (Mar 7, 2011)

b33p3r said:
			
		

> Drill out the center of a piece and pour some black powder in it. Saw dust mixed with glue to close up the end again. don't forget which piece it is. Once it's stolen and used you'll know who the thief was.   I can neither confirm nor deny whether this approach has ever been used. The names were changed to protect the innocent.



I can confirm it has been done in my town.

I have told the story to quite a few people, if they want to think I would do the same thing, that is up to them.


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## leatherguy (Mar 7, 2011)

Friend of mine did the black powder thing, worked really well, and the fire dept also got in some practice (in a real rural I mean real backwoods area).


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## northwinds (Mar 7, 2011)

Game cameras, a barking dog, and a sign of some sort...


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 7, 2011)

Holy Crap, rough crowd here......I am guessing no bugger better mess with any of our wood stashes here.....I am kinda fond of the liquid ass thing,,,,,ordered some today...prolly won't use it for wood thieves......but one of the docs in my practice may have a real stinky office for a while....... :coolgrin: Don't tell anyone....I am a realllllllll boldie can't help it....who's gonna know????


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## WhitePine (Mar 8, 2011)

GAMMA RAY said:
			
		

> Holy Crap, rough crowd here......I am guessing no bugger better mess with any of our wood stashes here.....I am kinda fond of the liquid ass thing,,,,,ordered some today...prolly won't use it for wood thieves......but one of the docs in my practice may have a real stinky office for a while....... :coolgrin: Don't tell anyone....I am a realllllllll boldie can't help it....who's gonna know????



Yeah, it's fun to contemplate loading up a piece of wood with LA in hopes the thieves will steal it. But the reality might a bit too nasty. That liquid is going to boil and the container will burst, possibly with great force. If any of the contents are flammable (or the propellant is propane, which is common), it could be one hell of a fireball. The stove would probably contain it. But what if the door was open at the moment it went off? Or what if the thieves have a fireplace? You could find yourself in really big trouble.

And just to make matters worse, there is always the possibility that the person on the receiving end wasn't the wood thief, but an innocent spouse or child--or a visiting neighbor.

Okay, enough buzz kill. Let us know how it works at the Docs.


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## fmer55 (Mar 8, 2011)

what about rigging a ballon filled with liquid ass to a trip wire and having a game cam on? they trip the wire, liquid ass balloon falls inches from tehm, if not on them and then the game cam takes a pic

priceless

or if they are taking from the same place in the woodpile, maybe some real poo on 6 or 7 logs were they snatch from, and the game cam still amust


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## b33p3r (Mar 8, 2011)

Black powder explosion in the fire place/boiler won't leave a trail like liquid ass. No one will no why the fire place exploded. Thieves will also never admit to stealing wood. Even if they did....no evidence. It burns away with no traceable odor to alert someone of something fishy......so I am told.


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## ironpony (Mar 8, 2011)

my answer to a problem I had, which was kids knocking down my bird feeder

I used a five pound fire extinquisher, emptied it and refilled with red dye
and pressurized to 100 lbs, hooked to a solenoid 12 volt and then to a circular sprinkler head
micro switch on bird house
when bird house was knocked off, tripped switch, sprayed red dye in a ten foot circle
never had a problem again
and heard one of the nieghbors  telling another nieghbor about her kids clothes having
red stuff all over them, kid didnt know where it came from
imagine that


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 8, 2011)

I dig your style ironpony ;-)


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## ironpony (Mar 8, 2011)

thank you,

(bows to cheering crowd)

I love halloween and build props, so I have lots of ideas
and materials to pull these things off

kids and some parents avoid my house at halloween time
never know what might "pop up" hehehe


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## GAMMA RAY (Mar 8, 2011)

I'll stay away from your house at halloween when I dress up in my nurse costume.....(it pisses the nurses off in my office) HEHE....I do it every year....they don't talk to me for a couple a days.....The boss thinks they should all still wear those outfits with the hats and all...He's thinkin of implementing it as part of the dress code....I'm not a nurse so I don't care......


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